Sunday, September 11, 2005

Holy guacamole!

Fantasy Lover by Sherrilyn Kenyon. Julian of Macedon is a Spartan general imprisoned in a book and periodically released when summoned to act as a sex slave for a month. Enter Grace Alexander, sex therapist extraordinaire: dateless, sexless, and three quarters brain-dead. She is persuaded by her best friend to summon Julian out of the book he’s been trapped in for over 2,000 years.

Heroine is spineless twat that’s traumatized because only guy who ever had sex with her did it because of a bet. Lady, get over it. You’re lucky to have even gotten laid. I would say count your blessings and move on!

Hero is a horny fuck that always has a hard on, wants to get it on with dimwit heroine in every bathroom, car, and public place in town, but alas, can’t come due to curse!

As if the premise were not already stupid beyond belief, the author (who must have been imbibing massive quantities of alcohol while plotting this book) throws in a handful of halfwits as secondary characters. Starting with Grace’s best friend, Selena, a supposed Rhode scholar that starts every other sentence with the expression “holy guacamole!” Rhode scholar? I think not. This woman apparently didn’t even get past Jr. High, and must be the only person left on earth still watching old Batman reruns. Holy guacamole indeed!

As always, I leave the best for last. In this case my favorite character, and only redeeming quality in this book. Out of the blue, in steps a stalker that has nothing to do with the story line, almost like he walked in from another book. He appears, he stalks, he is killed by hero in front of heroine and is never spoken of again. This was so ludicrous, so utterly ridiculous, that I had to stop reading and laugh before I had an apoplexy from an overdose of stupidity.

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1 comment(s):

Anonymous Anonymous said...

but you have to admit, the sex scenes were HOT

3/17/2007 10:57:00 PM