Tuesday, May 16, 2006

The big cock theory

I’ve read my fair share of romance novels in the last five years and without fear of being wrong (and though I have no exact numbers—I have a job people!) I could probably ballpark that 80% of them feature the ever popular, very well-endowed hero.

This has never bothered me; after all, I’m sure most of us imagine this type of thing according to our specific preference in both size and girth. So if an author insists in describing a guy’s cock as “his huge phallic rod that hangs halfway down his thighs,” I just resize and shrink it to something I could handle—and let me make this clear, anything that erect reaches a man’s ribcage I’m running away from LOL.

Last night I started reading Passion by Lisa Valdez. After a couple of chapters, all I could think was HUGE HUGE HUGE; because, in all honesty, all I’ve read is HUGE HUGE HUGE! From what I gather, Mark (the hero) is hung like a horse (10.5 inches), comes like a hose and has balls the size of Roman church bells (the man practically has to use both hands to lift them). So, I ask, is this a dream come true for some, or a nightmare for most? To what point does size really matter?


One thing that men can be assured of is that the size of your penis has no relation to sexual pleasure or performance. Performance is about the ability to get and maintain an erection and provide sexual pleasure to your partner and yourself. Performance, then, is not really related to size—but dependent on muscles, blood and nerve supply to the reproductive organs.


Ah, this, I take, was written by a man with tiny willy, wouldn’t you say? Though I do concede that most of this is true and that women aren’t all about BIG, I also have to admit that neither are we very content with small. As far as sexual stimulation, for us, penis width is more important than the length. But I’d be willing to bet, if God were passing out cocks as party favors at a birthday, no one would want the fun-sized kind—we’d all want the Mr. Big’s, wouldn’t we? Yes, even you over there shaking your head and muttering about my shallowness. You would probably be beating others with a pong stick to get to the large ones first. Come on, admit it!

Another important attribute to size is confidence:


A man with a large penis has the confidence that he can satisfy any woman, and after all, making love for the man is all about confidence. More and more research is showing that a larger penis does give more pleasure to a woman especially the girth of the penis. I have never seen a six inch—or less—dildo. Dildos are all designed large.


Does this mean that a guy will be less fond of his dick if it’s small?** Oh no, it just means that he will be surer of himself if he believes that the size/girth of his penis will be able to rise to the occasion, sort to speak.

Now that we’ve established that men in general want to posses a “big love pole” and most women would rather an Italian Stallion than a Japanese Pony, I ask: How big is too big (if there even is such a thing)?

I found these facts about penises (known to some romance authors as “pulsing volcanoes of love”) which I think break various myths and shed some light into what really goes on between a man and a woman (at least, between the ones outside erotica; these rules don’t apply to the likes of Mark and Passion, of course!).
  • Average length of a penis when not erect: 3.5 inches. Average depth from the vaginal opening to the tip of the cervix is 3.5 to 4 inches when not aroused.
  • Average length of a penis when erect: 5.2 to 6.4 inches. Average depth from the vaginal opening to the tip of the cervix is 5 to 7 inches when sexually aroused.
  • The longest penis measured: 13 inches. The smallest: 5/8 of an inch. (I think I came “face to face” with this one once. :/)
Sure, there might be some men out there with 13-inch cocks, but what are the odds they’re going to find themselves one of three women on earth that could—and would be willing to—take all that in? Personally, I don’t care if I’m made big enough to fit baseball bat in there, I’d be freaking insane to come anywhere near it (no pun intended!).
  • Average number of times a man will ejaculate in his lifetime: 7,200. Average number of times he will ejaculate from masturbation: 2,000. Average total amount of lifetime ejaculate: 14 gallons. (Er, I think Mark has already filled a gallon or two, and I’m not even halfway through the book!)
  • Percent of men who say they masturbate: 60. Percent of men who say they masturbate at least once a day: 54. Percent of men who say they feel guilty masturbating that often: 41. (I thought this guilt thing only happened to teenage girls... *confused*)
  • Amount of time needed for a man to regain an erection: from 2 minutes to 2 weeks (Two weeks?!? Jesus, talk about a slow fuck.) Average number of erections per day for a man: 11. Average number of erections during the night: 9. (These, combined, is the average number of times Mark gets an erection around Passion in an hour’s time.)
  • Odors that increase blood flow to the penis: lavender, licorice, chocolate, doughnuts and pumpkin pie! I take the easiest place to find a willing man is at Dunkin’ Donuts during Halloween?)
Now, now, for those of you, who are making little Trollop voodoo dolls in order to torture me to madness, please stop. I AM LIKING Passion. Just thought I’d get some cock facts straight. *g*

**Men love their penises. From the time he is born, a man’s penis becomes his best friend. He will love it, fondle it, get mad at it (especially when it stops working), respect it, listen to its opinion, and get in trouble for it.

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82 comment(s):

Blogger greeny said...

Gawd, I love your blog! And the learning never ends!

5/16/2006 09:39:00 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG, This is great. It is such an educational blog. Thanks for making me laugh this morning.

Veronica

5/16/2006 09:47:00 AM  

Blogger Gatxan said...

BIG, BIG post... LOL.

But how long an inch is? A centimetre? A metre?
Is there any converter? I really need to know how long 13 inches is! Just to make sure that it is definitely too long for me too ;)

5/16/2006 10:23:00 AM  

Blogger HOTMAMA said...

Oh Trollop, You're so predictable lol. I knew you'd have to make fun of beautiful Mark. PASSION is full of so much more than hot sex. On my 3rd read now, I've just discovered it. And its quite profound.

As far as size, most women won't "take" 10+ inches. Part of the beauty of Passion and her feelings for Mark.

I've had 9" (we measured lol) and its exquisite (real not dildo lol).
As I've said before, if only we could all be blessed with 36D or 9" of satisfaction......LOL I can be shallow too :P

5/16/2006 11:49:00 AM  

Blogger Serendipity said...

An inch is 2.54 cm.

5/16/2006 11:57:00 AM  

Anonymous Vixen said...

LAMO, Trollop my stomach hurts from laughing.

I'm reading Passion too and I agree with the MANLINESS of Mark but it's a good read too, very erotic. :P

Now, as for size preference I'm thinking it's all in how you use what you have. Now a teeny weiny is a turn off but average size isn't bad. A guy could be HUGE and not do anything right b/c he thinks he doesn't have to work since his penis is so freaking large but an average guy could be amazing b/c he tries a little harder.

HM, you crack me up! :)

5/16/2006 12:25:00 PM  

Blogger Luna said...

LOL... this is all such great entertainment! And to think, all I can write about is a world hungry cat!
I would love to put a button link to your blog on mine, do you have one I could possibly put up?

5/16/2006 12:59:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

A man with an adverage to small dick will do ANYTHING to please and get a 2nd/3rd/etc night with you.

5/16/2006 01:34:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Big is good and all, but if a man doesn't know how to use it, what's the point. And yes, i want constant orgasms LOL. Being filled by a BIG cock can hurt and prevent me for getting fucked hard :P so i'd rather have the nicely 7-inch who won't give me pussy pain than a HUGE one who would bruise my cervix.

5/16/2006 02:50:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

I NEVER thought we'll be talking about cocks in a scientific way LOL. Thanks babe :D

Welcome to all the new posters!

Mother Luna, we'll be happy to give you a button. :D Please email us here: thebookb@gmail.com

5/16/2006 02:52:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG, hilarious. Thank you so much! Every day after a crap day dealing with amazingly stupid people I come home to your blog and all of a sudden the world is put to rights.

Very educational today ladies...

Laura

5/16/2006 03:06:00 PM  

Blogger Titus said...

Oh my God! This was exactly what I needed today. Absolutely brilliant!!!

5/16/2006 03:22:00 PM  

Anonymous mandy said...

This is great!!! LOL Thanks Trollop!

5/16/2006 04:49:00 PM  

Blogger AngryMan said...

Hey, I have a friend who wants to be a romance writer and she needs some good phrases for her books. Do you have some good ones I can pass along to her?

5/16/2006 05:01:00 PM  

Blogger C Bradshaw said...

Fabulous!

I remember this SATC episode featuring a man who turned out to be a real "stud". LOL He's so HUGE even Sam said no! LOL

5/16/2006 05:05:00 PM  

Anonymous moi said...

13 INCHES? How could anyone take all that in??!

Very interesting article. :)

5/16/2006 05:53:00 PM  

Anonymous noni said...

I am reading "Passion" right now and I have to agree with Trollop. Mark is hung like a horse! LOL

This is the most erotic book I've read in a long while and even though the sex is very explicit, the story is good and strong.

5/16/2006 06:59:00 PM  

Blogger Petra said...

I've never heard of Lisa Valdez. So is she good? The cover from your sidebar looks like the covers of Cheryl Holt books. I have some of her books and actually enjoyed most of them. Basing from this post LOL, Ms. Valdez sounds like she can be compared with Ms. Holt's style?

Trollop, who's that guy on the pic? LOL

5/16/2006 07:05:00 PM  

Anonymous marla said...

Thanks for the laugh. LOL

Trollop and Harlot, you bitches rock!!!

Marla

5/16/2006 07:23:00 PM  

Anonymous Ollenska said...

Oh oh oh I LOVE PASSION!

There's already a sequel PATIENCE, and it will be available on August. You should check it out. :D

Great blog ladies!

Olly

5/16/2006 07:26:00 PM  

Blogger HOTMAMA said...

Petra

I've read Cheryl Holt and she is similar. IMHO, Lisa Valdez is the best "very sensual/erotic" author I've read :D. And if you take the time to read PASSION a second time, you'll see it's full of so much more than superbly written love scenes (IMO again ;) )

5/16/2006 07:26:00 PM  

Blogger Hamish and Leesha said...

Can someone PLEASE tell me where I can get a copy of Passion in New Zealand??? Short of buying on line, I have to wait for my local to order it in as it isn't a "standard" book for them!!
Leesha (not Hamish!)

5/16/2006 07:31:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

Oh yes everyone, Passion is great. Very nicely written and hot. My first erotic romance and I'm really enjoying it. My only problem was this HUGE cock thing, I could've put it out of my mind, but it's like a primary character lol Passion, Mark and the 10 inch cock :P

5/16/2006 07:33:00 PM  

Blogger My Mouth said...

Wow! I had no idea that a women's cervix was that large.

Anyway, where can you buy these kinds of books? Are they available at BN? Or are they behind the "adult curtain" at the local video-jerk salon?

5/16/2006 07:52:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

For everyone that has been asking about Erotica, where to buy and so on.. We're already working on some posts.

We'll be having a couple of guest authors that will help us confused ones get a clearer picture as to what especifically they are. As to where to buy, let me see if I can do a small post about that this week :D

5/16/2006 07:58:00 PM  

Anonymous motormouth said...

Pumpkin pie? You have got to be kidding! LOL

I love a big cock. LOL Who doesn't? However, as much as I love feeling it inside my vajayjay, there's no way it's gonna fit in my ass. LOL

5/16/2006 08:02:00 PM  

Blogger Angel Jamie said...

Trollop, u are d best! --well, ur d best too Harlot! ;). am still in shock, have to re read the post again! LOL although it would've been better if there were pics for each fact stated... LOL!!!

5/16/2006 08:12:00 PM  

Blogger HOTMAMA said...

Anyone, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong lol.

But I've read Erotica, and Lisa Valdez is not it. She writes, what I believe is called, "very sensual of very erotic" romance. Which is different from Erotica.

Oh yes, Angel Jamie, I agree lol.Some color illustrations could go a looong way....

I'd also like to see the face of hunk in photo :P

5/16/2006 08:19:00 PM  

Blogger HOTMAMA said...

sorry, that's supposed to be "very sensual or erotic" romance

5/16/2006 08:20:00 PM  

Anonymous morgan said...

OMG I LOVE THIS BLOG!

HUGE HUGE HUGE thank you for the smile I'm still wearing. :D

5/16/2006 08:42:00 PM  

Anonymous morgan said...

by the way, Trollop and Harlot, are you really going to post photos to accompany the stats? LOL

Will be back later to check that out! :P If not, still a great post Trollop!

Keep it up ladies!

5/16/2006 08:44:00 PM  

Blogger Marg said...

I know someone who blogged about this very thing (with pictures!) not too long ago...have to think about who it might have been though! Although IIRC she was concerned about how much pain would have been involved in having him constantly pushing against her cervix!

I haven't read this one, but another book where the big cock is a character is Celeste Bradley's Surrender to a Spy. The book itself was the worst of hers but the scenes about how huge his cock was and how she would never be able to take him so she had to prepare herself using a box of dildos (not that they called them that) was pretty funny, and constituted the conflict in it totality!!!

5/16/2006 08:47:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Have no idea what's the difference between erotica and erotic romance LOL. Is there even a difference? If so, what are they? Is it the way the sex scenes are conducted, how the characters do it? :P

This is why, as Trollop said, we're having a couple of guest authors that will help us get a clearer picture for us, hoping they'll shed some light about this genre. ;)

5/16/2006 08:52:00 PM  

Blogger HOTMAMA said...

Harlot,

OMG, I just was over at Thea Devine's BB and she calls her books Erotic Romance! After reading BLISS RIVER, I would have thought she wrote Erotica. Because BR was a far cry from LVs PASSION!

So WTF is Erotica?
Ok, I'm absolutely clueless lol, and I anxiously await some clarification.

5/16/2006 09:21:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

HM, remember that post i did last week, "Let's Talk About Sex". The publishers in the interviews alternately mentioned "erotica" and "erotic romance" while pertaining to only one genre (the one they're launching). So really, what's the difference? Because if there is, i don't know LOL.

Btw, never read Thea Divine. But i've read Robin Schone and hated her book. :S Sorry LOL. Have you read Susan Johnson?

5/16/2006 09:30:00 PM  

Blogger HOTMAMA said...

Harlot,

I've read a short story of RS and wasn't thrilled.

I was not thrilled with Devine either.

Susan Johnson, I've read most of hers, Contemporary and Historical :D

And you're right, does it really matter?? Just like straight romance, there's authors we love and others we don't. Best recs are thru the grapevine :D

5/16/2006 09:45:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

I'm dying to know the difference too.

I'm thinking Passion has to be more than plain old romance, b/c the sex is pretty hot and more explicit that I've read before.

I always thought Erotica had weird stuff (animals, whips, 15 inch dildo's up hero's ass, orgies etc.) but I have nothing to base this conclusion on.

Is there a difference between erotica and erotic romance? And if not what's the middle ground between romance and erotica?

I think we'll have this post up by next week. Damn I'm curious now lol

5/16/2006 09:48:00 PM  

Blogger HOTMAMA said...

Oh, and then there's Shannon McKenna. Very explicit, erotic, etc. that I hightly recommend.

Trollop, not for anything but she lives in Italy. Gotta Love her for that lol :P

5/16/2006 10:00:00 PM  

Anonymous 2nd Amdt said...

Let me just say that after reading the title "The big cock theory" I am very disappointed that pictures were not forth coming. In fact it's been eleven days since any eye candy was posted. Shame, shame. ;-)

5/16/2006 10:20:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

HM, i've read RS's AWAKEN MY LOVE and iick! I thought it was such a stupid book LOL. It was really BAD. And the sex, it wasn't good too. :S Well, for me, at least. I mean, i don't find it erotic AT ALL. The guy's idea of foreplay is inserting as many fingers as he could inside his wife. And she's hurting! :S So really, stupid plot, characters you wouldn't like, and the sex is awful.. Forget it LOL.

I used to love Susan Johnson. Well her historicals. I loved OUTLAW, SINFUL, and BRAZEN. :P But there are many of her books too i didn't like (they're jsut bad books :S), BLONDE HEAT and HOT SPOT to name a few.

5/16/2006 10:24:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

Guy in pic is Marky Mark in a CK ad lol

As for the eye candy *wink* I think Harlot is already working on it :P There was no way I could add more pics to this post it would have been longer than Mark's cock! :P

5/16/2006 10:30:00 PM  

Anonymous Vixen said...

Marky Mark. LMAO

5/16/2006 10:32:00 PM  

Anonymous Lanie said...

First up - man I love you Bitches! You crack me up :P I also think it's hilarious that the posts about sex, cocks and g-spot orgasms always seem to generate the most comments LOL.

Leesha! I'm from NZ and bought Passion earlier this year from Fishpond.co.nz. I buy the majority of my books from Fishpond, as it's quite a lot cheaper than normal bookstores! I think I paid $13 or $15 for it. Good price. Brand new and arrived in 14 days. Shipping is about $4 I think (courier post). Check out the website - www.fishpond.co.nz.

Now (copied from another comment I made on another topic here LOL)... I think there is a distinction between erotica and erotic romance or romatica. Most erotica I have read (Black Lace, Nexus etc) are books where main protagonists have lots and lots of sex, with each other and other people but there isn't perhaps a romantic HEA. The focus is on sex and the often the sexual journey of the main characters.

And VT, I've yet to read erotica with animals or giant dildos *euww* but the books I have read featured multiple partners, threesomes - MMF, FFM etc, and if you do get a BDSM type book, then there prob'ly will be a few whips LOL).

Gosh, does this make me sound like a dirty perv? LOL

Erotic romance or romantica I find combines a romance story with really hot sex! :P I don't consider Passion by LV or anything written by Thea Devine, Robin Schone blah blah to be erotica!? To me, it is erotic romance, because at the heart of the story, its about two people falling in love.

Sure, some of the EC books I've read are pretty erotic, but they are very romantic and emotional and, best of all, have a HEA!

5/16/2006 11:08:00 PM  

Blogger Lisa said...

Trollop,
Hey this is Lisa from JDBB.. I thought I would peek in.. Boy I am glad that I did.. I really needed a good laugh.. My sides still hurt.

I agree 13 inches I would run and run fast..

I loved the blog.. I will have to stop in more often..

Hey by the way thanks for the great advice..

Lisa

5/16/2006 11:13:00 PM  

Blogger HOTMAMA said...

Lanie,
yes you sound like a "dirty perv", but an informed one none the less lol *just kidding*

Now I'm certain I've never read Erotica, except for that Emma Holly nightmare of an experience. That had all the characteristics you mentioned and I don't know how it ended lol.

Your post went a long way in clarifying...

Trollop, I checked out the links in the post...very interesting reading lol.

5/16/2006 11:28:00 PM  

Anonymous Gina_Marie said...

Boy, you learn something new everyday... thanks for educating me, ladies!

5/17/2006 02:08:00 AM  

Blogger Marg said...

I read a Shannon McKenna recently and whilst the hero was alpha and the sex was hot, I still would have classified it as romantic suspense and not erotica!

What do I know though!!

5/17/2006 03:53:00 AM  

Blogger HOTMAMA said...

Marg,

I think you're right about Shannon McKenna. Very sensual/erotic romantic suspense. Definitely not Erotica !

5/17/2006 08:08:00 AM  

Blogger Horny Old Guy said...

Only 60 per cent of men say they masturbate? The other 40 per cent are lying bastards...well except for those 6 dudes who are still listening to the pope!

Only 2000 lifetime ejaculations from masturbation? Hell I think I went over that mark when I was still in my teens!

Interesting stuff! Even an old fart like me can learn something nasty and new every day! Cheers!

5/17/2006 10:02:00 AM  

Blogger Brenda Bradshaw said...

Well, there's a good-fire way to start my day. And to remember to kegel as all orifices clench themsevles closed in fear.

5/17/2006 10:25:00 AM  

Blogger HOTMAMA said...

I was at BAM today (came home with nothing :() and found that they have an "erotic romance" section and an Erotica section.

Erotic romance contained, T Devine, B Small, S Kenyon, R Schone and others. The section is not labeled as such.

Erotica section (labeled) had books of authors I've never heard of. A couple of titles :

GAY EROTICA
LESBIAN EROTICA IN VICTORIAN TIMES

Just my little bit or research :D

5/17/2006 02:48:00 PM  

Blogger Hamish and Leesha said...

Thanks for the site, I will definitly be checking it out!

5/17/2006 04:44:00 PM  

Blogger Petra said...

Hot Mama, I already ordered Lisa Valdez. Well after all this cock talk, I just have to. LOL

5/17/2006 09:01:00 PM  

Blogger Aggie said...

What a laugh - shall we recommend to vibrator makers everywhere that they now put a standard measure rule on their products so we can all check out how much we can take? I think we'll all have fun finding out? Ho Ho - I'm still laughing...
and as always ... hanging out for more luscious eye candy.

5/17/2006 09:03:00 PM  

Anonymous Helena said...

I just wish that guys would be more willing to show (the main event) & tell?
if ya know wot I mean?
Then the eye candy would get a far more realistic vote
eg. great bod + little dick = 5/10
great bod + big dick = 9/10
lousy bod + l.d. = 0/10
lousy bod + b.d. = 4/10
average bod + l.d. = 3/10
average bod + b.d. = 7/10
The BB's could set up scale that we could all rate the bods on??
It would get my vote tee hee

5/17/2006 09:10:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Ladies, we'll be having eye candy tomorrow. A very, very HOT one if i may say so myself. ;)

5/17/2006 09:15:00 PM  

Anonymous hehesnort said...

You know, I was thinking the same thing as someone else...the raunchier the post, the more comments people leave. I just have a few points to touch on
1)I'm currently dating a guy (whom I live with so there is a teeny tiny window of opportunity) doesn't jerk off. I kid you not. At first I found it a little bizarre, seeing as my removable shower head is my second best friend, but he seriously doesn't. That's not to say he HASN'T, but he just doesn't do it anymore.
2)I've dated guys with big cocks, little cocks, skinny cocks, fat cocks, curved cocks, straight cocks...I think we are getting the picture (that I've seen a few, not that I'm a whore) and it really all boils down to who knows how to use it. I mean I've had great sex with average guys and utterly painful (in oh-so-many ways) with big guys. I'm blessed with a g-spot the size of texas so maybe I'm a bad person to judge on the issue...but I think it all depends on how it's used and not on size alone.
And that's my 2 cents on the issue...and thanks bitches for opening up such interesting and informative discussions in a place where a girl can say what she wants and know she isn't being judged..it's truly appreciated.
~hehe

5/18/2006 04:53:00 AM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

hehesnort said...
>>that I've seen a few, not that I'm a whore

Oh God, That cracked me up!!! LOLLOL

anyway, yeah I get what you mean about size. And it's probably true that it's more important how you use it than what size it is.

But how much can a guy with a small/thin wanker do? I mean, sure he can do other stuff with his mouth/hands but what else? I dunno of course, so just asking LOL

Now, neither do I want a cock the size of a child's leg LOL

Wondering here, if you could have a small or big one (just one of the two, no M sizes) which one would you take?

I think I'd take the big one, but would not let that whole thing inside!!!! Just you know, until it fits without hurting.

5/18/2006 08:01:00 AM  

Blogger nica ha said...

lol this was such a great post and comments too to read! :D

i don't know, Trollop, i've got to go with a small one personally. i think i must be on the small scale for women or something, cos one of my ex's was waaay too big and bottoming out constantly hurts, A LOT. guess the women who say bigger is better haven't had it too big, lol. it's nice to have fun and not constantly worry about getting some serious pain if you or he loses control ;) (you know how it is, lol)

and i've got to agree with hehesnort, that it's nice to have a place to chat about anything and not be judged ;D

5/20/2006 12:47:00 AM  

Blogger kinky courtesan said...

i know nothing about comparing peniss.... or is that peni? haha anywho... i've only been with one guy... sure i've seen other ones but they have all been pretty small.... AND does head size make a big difference??? because this one boy had a GINORMONTUOUS head.... yeah.... think the guy from passion.... hes big... only just the head.... haha..... yeah just curious about that..... but i have to say i am a fan of all male parts.... well... all "normal" male parts... don't have two heads growin from one place.... that would just be weird.....

5/20/2006 02:59:00 AM  

Anonymous Jewbacca said...

A redirect from SE (Marck's site, not mine. Just stating where I hail from)

To estimate lifetime orgasms from fappage:

I'd say it averages out to about 300-400 times a non-mated year.

And it would average out to probably 50-100 times a partnered but not living together year.

And maybe 10-50 if we live together (and have consistent sex, cat 1 for shitty marriages and cat 2 for average ones)

With overall orgasm count remaining, and this count beginning at 14 for me, i'll leave it to other's to extrapolate for lifespan and average male partnered years and etc. Right now i'm at a ratio of about 1/1/3 for the above categories. I'd assume for most guys, lifetime, it's probably 2/5/1 or something. Who knows.

5/21/2006 04:34:00 AM  

Anonymous Sir said...

I have a huge cock and the last chick to take it bled for a month. She was bone thin, I tend to have more luck with slightly chubby girls.

5/21/2006 04:38:00 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ah, the romance novel. I can't say I've ever understood the appeal - at least of the formulaic $2 variety - but I've been bored enough to read a few. It's amazing what being stuck in a tramping (trans: bush walking / hiking) hut for three days due to rain can do to your reading habits when all you have to read is the novels previous travellers have left behind.

I typically find myself unable to empathise with the characters, and consequently have difficulty caring about the book at all. The male characters tend to be too domineering, smarmy, cunning, or otherwise dodgy. Hey, I guess at least I might not be a coldhearted exploitative bastard of a guy, then ;-) . The female characters tend to be too lacking in will and direction, happy to be pushed around and exploited, etc. Where's the fun? Yeah, I know, fantasy, suspension of disbelief and all... sometimes it just doesn't work, or doesn't make it enjoyable.

Of course, it doesn't help that I'm talking about Mills & Boon class books here. It has been frequently argued that the biggest advantage of bringing a book like that along on a bushwalk is that after you read the pages, they make great toilet paper. Actually, there's really no need to read them first.

I do hope there are better examples of the genere - ones with characters you can actually care about, or at least understand a little. Anybody know of a particularly good one you could recommend? (Yes, everybody's ideas of characters they can empathise with varies - especially in this area - but hey, it's hard to go worse than what I've read so far).

By the way, I arrived here via SE. Sorry for those of the crowd who're loud and rude or just ... eew. Not everybody's like that, as I hope this thread shows.

5/21/2006 12:47:00 PM  

Anonymous Proto said...

Leaving aside my issues with "romance" novels to begin with, I thought I'd chime in with a few observations of my own.

First, as the owner and operator of a larger than average cock, I've found that any woman I've ever fooled around with can be lulled into taking it if you're both into the idea. Now, I'm not John Holmes or Shane Diesel, so we're not talking about human baseball bats, but I'm large enough to require some stretching in both directions (length and girth). The most frequent complaint I've had is that the extra friction, even with lube, can lead to a lot more soreness and even some mild pain after the orgasmic glow has worn off. That only makes sense, considering that some pretty tender skin and nerves is getting an extra workout.

Something that surprised me quite a bit, though, is seeing so many women passing along what's either misinformation or a misunderstanding of their own bodies. When aroused, the vagina changes shape slightly to place the uterus more forward and canted upward, leaving a little extra room and more elasticity for your entire plumbing to stretch and shift with a larger penetration. In order to knock your cervix as so many are complaining about, the guy either has to have no clue what he's doing, not care what he's doing, or one of you is too oddly shaped for the other. Not since the very, very early days of my sexual life have I done so and I'm definitely big enough to do it. I have hit an ovary, though, even if it was one of the first times I was on top. That's a pain you ladies don't want to experience.

Oh, and the author is either sheltered or doesn't spend any time at all looking at sex toys. There are dildos and vibrators ranging from the ludicrously and impossibly huge down to ones the size of a tube of lipstick. Even ones designed for penetration can be five inches long and slender and they sell well enough to still be on the market.

Finally, the greatest sexual asset a man can have is a desire to keep both himself and his partner pleased. Cock size helps (Oh, does it help...), but it's not the the end of the world if you don't have it. A healthy indulgence in communication and fantasy doesn't hurt, either.

P.S. - What's with the romance novels that are all about adultery and having another man's baby? I had a friend who worked in a used book store and that's the bulk of their trade. Romance novels are about as unfair to real men as the Wonderbra is to real women.

5/21/2006 01:09:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Welcome Anon :D I hope when you get back you'll have a nickname we can call you by then so we can easily recognize you. ;) Of course if you prefer to remain Anon, no problem at all LOL.

Btw, click here for some recs: romance starter kit. I highly recommend the three contemporary ones.

As you can see, Trollop and i have filthy mouths too. :P But, we do mind rudeness and we won't tolerate it here on our blog. We work damn hard to make this blog as friendly/comfortable as posible for our readers. Maybe no one can love this place as much as Trollop and i do, but we expect our visitors to respect the other posters and be civil with one another.

Here on our blog, we do not alter or delete comments we don't agree with. If you see a comment that has been removed, it is because it's a spam and/or an ad. No one will ever be bashed or trashed for having an opposing point of view. Nor will bashing or trashing of other POVs be tolerated.

We welcome and respect all comments and opinions. All we ask is for visitors to do the same thing too. :)

Since have no time, as am finishing Julia London's interview, will be back later for Proto and the others. :D

5/21/2006 01:31:00 PM  

Anonymous f00m@nB@r said...

please please please don't use that "disable select" javascript: it's bloody annoying. and if you're afraid of people copying your material, that doesn't stop it because i can just save the page and copy it later. it just annoys people who want to post about the site elsewhere and copy a quote from the article. plus, on macs, it prevents the contextual menu from working so i can't do "open this link in another window". any script that modifies the normal behavior of the user interface should just be avoided.

where was i? oh, yeah. HELLO from sensibleErection. interesting post. keep it up. oh, and romance novels are like women's porn. (ditto "better homes & gardens".) :)

5/21/2006 05:24:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Proto, i have to say, that's a very nice comment, very insightful. :P It's good to hear a man's perception about this post. I think it all comes down to this: doesn't matter what size you have, if you don't know how to use it, then you're fucked, so to speak.

About heroines having another baby, ack, one of our pet peeves. As much as we love the romance genre, there are romance novels out there that simply put shouldn't have been published at all. Have you heard of the secret baby plot? LOL Probably the stupidest plot ever. But there are readers who love this theme :S that's why they keep on writing. Seriously.

But like on other matters, you can't judge the whole genre through these bad books. There are good romance novels out there, just waiting to be discovered by new readers, and i'm pretty sure if they get the right book, they'll know why many romance lovers say they know better. ;)

5/21/2006 06:57:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

f00m@nB@r,

I'll look into it. But honestly have a lot of things to do right now LOL. I'll remove it ASAP. We put it before because there are fuckers out there, DESPITE our copyright statement, who are just plain thieves! They don't even link us! Grr. I know the disable select annoys some people and it can't totally prevent others to steal if they really want to, but at least it hampers a bit. :)

5/21/2006 07:01:00 PM  

Anonymous Mike said...

Also, the firefox autocopy extension works well for it too.

5/21/2006 09:09:00 PM  

Anonymous Proto said...

Harlot,

As strange as it might seem to some people to open a response with ye olde worlde terms for loose women, I appreciate the response. The world of romance novels is one of the few frontiers of fiction I never really tried to get into, aside from a few furtive masturbatory sessions before free internet porn was easily obtained. I may have been an early rider of that particular wave (e-porn, that is), but it's hard to get at when the only modem was in a shared room and people are usually home.

On your summary, I basically agree. It doesn't matter how big or small your tackle if you don't bother to use it properly. As much as some guys get envious about size, it has its own drawbacks, not the least of which is making quickies MUCH harder to pull off. She either needs to be really juicy to start with, or you better have some kind of hotbutton way to get her going.

Reading through your pet peeves, I generally agree with the objections, but there are a few that I think you're falling prey to what I call the Too Sophisticated Syndrome. My dad has it in a nonsexual way, because he thinks women honestly have no issues in the workplace. What causes it? The fact that my mother is extremely successful and something of a groundbreaker in her field. Similarly, your assertion that women may not have orgasmed is likewise shortsighted - many women are taught to be ashamed of sex and their bodies and it may take a long time to get over that.

Oh, and those red-covered Desire books were among the ones I was asking about.

To be honest, I've had my own private theories about romance novels for some time, and I'm going to share them without applying them to the people here. Please don't take the following personally, as it is mostly based on my personal observations of people buying and reselling romance novels in bookstores.

For the most part, they seemed to be women who were overweight and taking little care of themselves. Many were in their late thirties to - I can only assume - sixties or greater. The rule of thumb was that they would be dumpy, overweight, poorly dressed, have poor posture, and generally seem to not even love themselves. These women bought and traded inordinate numbers of the Secret Baby, Other Man's Baby, and Rescue Me style of books. Almost to a woman, they were wearing wedding bands, so it seemed to me that they were escaping their real world relationships rather than trying to work on them or getting out to pursue something more satisfying.

Make no mistake, I'm betting their husbands or boyfriends weren't giving them much reason to try, but the impression has stuck over time.

5/21/2006 10:20:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

Proto,

Love your insight on the romance genre and the people who (IYO) buy/read romance novels.

I don't have access to a big bookstore that carries romance, and as I mentioned before, I'm rather "new" to the genre myself. Having said that I think everyone that reads fiction does it to escape reality for a while. It doesn't have to be only romance readers, or women who are trying to get away from their tedious married lives and so on...

As for the physical traits, it might be true up to some point, just like perhaps men that read thrillers could all be fat slobs that don't have any excitement in their lives, I do not know, but at least from the pictures I've seen from my fellow FABB members and some our book bitches readers that have been kind enough to send pics, none of them fit your description or maybe all those pics have been doctored LOL

In any case, Romance has changed a lot in the past decade. Heroines in books are now strong, motivated, self-suficient and, what I love most of all, they are not perfect; Not their bodies, not their lives, not their decisions. I think this new generation of women who are reading about them identify very much with this, so perhaps the women reading now, are different from he women who read romance say 15-20 yrs ago.

As for the orgasm thing, it's not that I don't believe that they've never orgasmed per say, just that it bothers me to no end that a healthy woman cannot enjoy sex with other men before their perfect hero comes along? Give me a fucking break!

That's the worst kind of sexism, and coming from female writers none the less. I'd rather you tell me she'd had a good sex life before meeting "whomever" and it got better after she hooked up with him than you trying to feed me that garbage about a 30 yr old virgin that's never had an orgasm. Fingers, vibrators, porn don't exist in her life? Highly unlikely :P

And let me tell you, these women that had never had an orgasm in books, are usually the ones coming left and right the minute the hero touches them with a wooden spoon or something! LOL :P

You should try one of our books in our Romance Novels Starter Kit and let us know how that works out ;)

5/21/2006 11:35:00 PM  

Anonymous Proto said...

Trollop,

Thanks for the kind words and the explanation.

I'm actually glad that you could take my observations as what they were and not immediately get up in arms over them, because I realize that my sample size is a bit limited. After all, the majority of it came from the trade done at one particular used books store and what little I've spotted in line at major book chains.

It could very well be that there is an emerging generation of authors and authresses that are aiming their works at more realistic themes. If that were true, I think it would largely eliminate my biggest gripes about the genre and make it something I wouldn't - to be perfectly honest - feel justified in being scornful about. People are certainly free to read whatever they want, but the snippets and bits of the returns box at that store revealed a highly unhealthy world to me.

Where you say that most people read fiction to get away for a little while, I can't really dispute the point. However, I will take up a variation on the warning that was placed in the inside cover of many roleplaying books several years ago... Fantasy is not reality and it could potentially be harmful for someone who is in difficult emotional and mental conditions to delve too deeply if they aren't sure they can pull out.

Why would I bring up roleplaying (aside from revealing that I'm also an incorrigable geek)?

To me, the entire purpose of the romance novel genre is character identification and replacement. The author is trying to create a path of involvement for the reader to put herself in the shoes of the protagonista in much the same way that a roleplayer puts themselves in the perspective of their character. It is escapism, but the difference is that most RPGs are so out there compared to modern experience that they are plainly fictional. The situations in romance novels are often cheesy and contrived, but still fall within the realm of possibility. It is unlikely that a devestatingly, diabolically sexy millionaire playboy will come and rescue the reader from their dreary life of working nine to five and their balding, slightly paunchy husband, and yet it still could happen. Not so with four hundred foot dragons, cyborgs, or a host of other scenarios.

Personally, I roleplay to get my escapism and read to enjoy what the author has to say. I also keep the two worlds firmly separated.

Switching gears, I'd like to move on to the latter part of your response. My experience with reading romance ended with authors like Kathleen Woodwiss and Nora Roberts about ten years ago, which was pretty much entirely to get to the only "porn" around at the time. I'm certain that if I went back now, with a more highly developed critical mind and my experiences to date, I'd find the books even more unreadable than they were then. The idea that there are some writers making an effort to humanize their situations and characterizations gives me some hope, but it doesn't change the general purpose of the books (in my mind). Of course, if you see something else they're good for, feel free to elucidate.

I have to say that I mostly agree with you on the subject of orgasms, also. Women are increasingly self-sufficient in their orgasmic needs, with whole companies springing up over the last two decades to cater to visual and textual pornography, an evolving sex toy market, high visibility of confidently sexual women in the media, and even the relatively pedestrian discussion of issues relating to femininity and the human experience in popular entertainment. In some ways, there has never been a better time to be a woman.

All of that being said, I think that there is still a likelihood that many women haven't really orgasmed on their own or with their partners. I'm not sure where you come from, but there are still many rural and repressive areas in the United States where sex and masturbation, and especially female partaking of these two, is the greatest taboo. My fiancee isn't as bad off as some of the women in those books, but she'd never owned a vibrator and swears any orgasm I give her is orders of magnitude better than anything before. Of course, unlike her exes, I actually care what happens to her and I'm trying to make it good for both of us. Multiple orgasms are a way of life for us, because I actually pay attention to what works and what doesn't.

So, you could say that I'm the humanized version of the big-dicked, one-touch orgasm, sensitive, caring hero that swoops in out of nowhere that features in romance novels. I'm not rich, don't have a ton of material goods to offer, but I have myself and I give of that about as freely as a fountain offers its water. Oh, and to stay on the original topic, my cock is as thick as my wrist.

5/22/2006 07:52:00 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Another referral from SE.

The conclusion that I've come to regarding the whole size vs female orgasms issue is that it's not really a big issue. I'm pretty much average size, but the multiorgasmic women I've been with have been very satisfied with it.

Honestly, the thing that seems to work the best is to have her on top and get her grinding her hips back and forth. The combination of friction and repeatedly slamming it into her g-spot as she thrusts forward always sends them through the roof. And as long as you're longer than three inches, that will always work.

YMMV, of course.

5/22/2006 08:11:00 AM  

Blogger Leonard said...

Well, now I know the facts!

5/22/2006 06:02:00 PM  

Blogger Chris said...

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7/23/2006 04:53:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just found your blog. Hilarious introspection. :)

10/27/2006 09:08:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh my gawd! Decided to "cruise" the blog scene tonight and ran in to yours. Fantastic! Now on to your take on SIZE. For me size is an issue and I can O from just penetration but the cock has to have good girth to it. Example, recently I had a one nighter with a man, I'd eye balled his "tool" through his jeans through out our evening together and decided I'm getting in to those pants TONIGHT I had to see it for myself and experience it. So we get back to my place, finally I get to see it and ooooh lah lah this thing was huge I was "so happy with it" I came within 5 strokes of that lovely "man sword" hehehe... but size isn't all that matters, if he knows what to do with his tongue who cares about the cock anyway? Good oral is a fantastic trip to the heavens!

11/11/2006 03:52:00 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Considering that this post (not the comment) is from MAY of LAST YEAR, I am hoping that you will get this comment...

where are you getting your facts from? I mean one of your links are to cool nurse, but you couldn't have gotten EVERYTHING from there. so it really does make me wonder, where did you get these facts from?

btw, I'm a new reader and was going through some past posts, I am really liking the blog!!!

4/12/2007 06:26:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm a guy and accudentally found your site.
Amazing and how true. I have about 6 inches and am a older fellow bnowdays. My rod has worked sensationally and fathered children. It is all in how you use it. I have a large nob and good sized nuts and find all works well.Use it right. Play with clit and go easy on the gal and all feels so darn good for both. Have lots of fun that way and you will both cum together.
Nothing like FU&&&&& in the proper way. Stud horses go to pasture.

5/28/2007 03:51:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

I have to agree with last Anonymous, nothing like fucking in the proper way. ;)

Welcome to all the new visitors/posters. Hope you visit and join our discussion often. Don't worry, i don't bite.. unless you're a gorgeous man covered in Nutella. ;P

5/28/2007 08:41:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love big cock! I love big cocks! Great blog!

10/06/2007 07:43:00 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm maybe a little bigger than average but I have a bit of frustration & perhaps insecurity. I've only been with one woman, so I have no other experience. My problem is that sex is very tense with her. I am a boob guy and I love to play with hers. When I do, she gets in the mood right away. She climbs on top and wants me hard instantly. When I was in my 20s, I could do that but I am in my 30's, and it takes a little longer. I want some time to enjoy the boobs. If I do happen to be ready when she wants it in, she comes in 2 minutes and then no more boobs. They've become sensitive for me to mess with and I'm forbidden. I usually don't come in time and I don't want to just pump off into her with her laying there as a love doll. She doesn't want sex again for at least 3 or four days. Also, if I am not ready when she wants it in, she comes and I'm not hard enough so it isn't in all the way (then I'm in big trouble....not to mention feeling a failure). I've tried making her keep her panties on until I get fully erect, but she hates that. I've tried not doing oral on her first, but it is the 2nd best thing after boobs.

Sex is just getting to be too much pressure, tension and complication.

10/03/2008 12:18:00 PM