- How about a little relaxation with your robbery? Burglar puts the touch on his victim: man ties up woman, takes cash, massages her shoulders.
- Alligator that killed jogger is captured. A four-day hunt for an alligator that killed a jogger in Florida reached a grisly climax when trappers captured the reptile with the victim’s arms still in its stomach. -I just showed this to Harlot, and this is what that conceited, shallow bitch had to say: “I’d rather be shot or whacked in the head with a HUGE mallet than be eaten alive. Oh wait, NO! Forget the mallet, I want to die pretty!” Babe, we’re talking about dying here, not prom. I doubt looking pretty will be much help once you’re dead LOL.
- Depp, Clooney, best at signing fan autographs. Many stars become bad signers once fame and fortune hits, but not Depp. He’s even signed autographs for crowds at the airport while carrying luggage. As for Clooney, he’ll joke as he signs, and make fun of how he looks in photos he’s handed to autograph. -How can anyone NOT love them? *sigh* Never been a threesome kind of person, but would surely love a Depp-Trollop-Clooney roll in the hay. *wink*
- Religious row fuels global Da Vinci Code social phenomenon. As Christian churches launch theological attacks on the movie, Dan Brown’s best-selling novel is still flying off shelves and generating furious debate across the world as its opponents brand it blasphemous and even “satanic.” -Please, please, please get a fucking life, you religious freaks! I DO NOT WANT TO BE SAVED, LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. Jesus, this stuff really gets to me. Can you tell? LOL
- Pastor charged in spanking of girl claiming abuse. An Elgin pastor for two months regularly spanked a 13-year-old girl with a wooden stick to punish her for claiming she had been sexually abused by a relative. -Perhaps the religious freaks from above should be more concerned about stuff like this than a stupid movie or a Harry Potter book!
- This week in entertainment. It’s now time to say goodbye to Will, Grace, Jack and Karen in a season finale full of turbo-charged repartee. Will & Grace is going off the air after 196 episodes. It seems like only yesterday they started insulting each other. (NBC, Thursday, 8 p.m.) -I will honestly miss this show, and all the laughter it’s brought into my otherwise boring Thursday nights. And so, all the reasons I used to glue myself in front of NBC’s “must watch TV” are now gone. “Seinfeld,” ”Friends” and now “Will & Grace.” Only “ER” is left, and gad, that’s become bad!
Labels: bitchin’ news