Thursday, February 2, 2006

I need porn and I cannot lie

I just spent three days in a place where there’s no TV, phone or internet access. It’s run by a group of nuns, located on top of a mountain. I got a first hand experience on what prison must be like; there is a schedule for EVERYTHING—including a time to go to sleep (11 p.m.) and a time for waking up (6 a.m., and yes, I know, these nuns are sadists).

After spending the first night lying awake on my uncomfortable cot (apparently, a one-inch matress is a real luxury in that place), cursing the chirping beetles—that’s the only “entertainment” available, as there’s no electricity after 11 p.m. (yep, not even a measly low watt lightbulb for me to read a book)—I swear, I was ready to jump out the window, roll down the hillside and take my chances with the wild life out there. It’s either that or join the nunnery!

So you’ll understand how bad I need a porn fix!!!



This is for depriving me of Nutella. *sniff*



This is for the blow I took, landing like a rotten guava on a rocky path, trying to escape “mountain sessions” (I know!!!), while climbing my way into a window to sneak a couple of hours of much needed sleep. *ouch*



This is for three days of no sex!—the injustice! *sob*



This is for denying me contact with Trollop and Bawdy and Tart—oh how miserable they were while I was gone???

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16 comment(s):

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

Oh, so it was like prison? Were you assigned your very own bitch? lol

And please, what is with you and the guys sporting bushes?!? Can't we once, please, have a decent guy that has shaved or at least trimmed it??? You could floss your teeth by blowing some of these men UGHHH

But must say I'd take the hottie in the second pic, and shave him myself *wink*

2/02/2006 11:06:00 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can I ask why did you go there? Nuns were known to have great sex lives... during the Middle Ages!!!! Not now!!!
E.

2/02/2006 11:12:00 AM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

E,

It's b/c she read this short erotica (porn?) story about some kinky nuns, and she wanted to go and check it out ;) lol Or maybe it was just b/c of school project? I dunno, lets ask her... Harlot are you there?

2/02/2006 11:25:00 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

So glad you're back Harlot! Thanks for the great eye candy. We can all use some of that.
I agree,VT about the shave lol.Good thing I have DH trained.
I'm also curious as to why you were at an abbey?

Tami

2/02/2006 11:32:00 AM  

Blogger Malicious Strumpet said...

If you scroll down so that you're not seeing any of the bushes, the scenery is greatly improved.

Hotties, but too much hair! ;)

I like options #3 and #4 best. So at least Trollop and I won't have to slug this one out.

So glad you're back, Harlot. Now do tell us why you had to undergo this ordeal.

2/02/2006 11:34:00 AM  

Anonymous Ann said...

Very happy you're back, Harlot!
But if that's what you bring back for us when you go spend time with nuns, then by all means visit them when you can.
Oh, this was quite fun to open as my mother (who's in for a visit) peered over my shoulder just in time for me to open the blog. I'm afraid she thinks I'm checking out porn on the internet. LOL
This is probably good, she's always thought of me as the 'good girl'. Time to change that image!
Thanks for the pictures!

2/02/2006 12:39:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Babe, i wish i had a bitch there! Would have made a lot of difference. So glad to be back where i have my own Trollop. :P


E, Tami, Malicious Strumpet,
It's a retreat, a prerequisite for graduating students. It's either suffer with the nuns or don't graduate. Bastards. (I go to a catholic university. I know.. :S And i'm not even catholic!)


Ann,
I want to stay sane, so never again with the nuns. LOL Anyway, i don't need to visit them to shell out some of my porn. Once in a while, i promise to share a bunch of my boys with you ladies. ;)

2/02/2006 01:38:00 PM  

Blogger Ham said...

Blush ///_///;

2/02/2006 01:51:00 PM  

Blogger Daisy said...

The pics are great, and the brightened my morning considerably! Also, those fantastic buns give me hope that some day my workouts will yield results like this!

2/02/2006 01:52:00 PM  

Blogger Coyote Bebop said...

I look like every single one of those guys ...

crossed with a gorilla.

2/02/2006 05:03:00 PM  

Blogger Tart said...

Yay, welcome back and thanks for the candy for my eyes :D

But like VT said, the guy could've done with some manscaping!

2/02/2006 11:44:00 PM  

Blogger Erin said...

if that's the view you treat us with when you spend time with nuns, maybe you should make this a habit? (no pun intended, i swear!!)

2/03/2006 12:30:00 AM  

Blogger Weasel said...

Please tell those beautiful pieces of eye candy to move their hands. I'm from UPS and I need to inspect their packages. :) (I know, I know, "Naughty, naughty girl." XD)

2/04/2006 05:56:00 PM  

Blogger Currin Girl said...

I find myself repeatedly coming back to this post at work. Send an e-mail, look at this post...finish a meeting, look at this post. Who needs caffeine? Such a great blog overall.

2/07/2006 05:28:00 PM  

Blogger Dylan said...

Holy shit, how did I miss this one? Holy hot damn...THANKS!

2/13/2006 04:53:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

HOT!! Thanks!

2/14/2006 03:55:00 PM