Friday, June 16, 2006

A very naughty secret garden

harlot'slover01


A couple of weeks ago, I received one of those “meme” emails (I never answer them, but sickly enough always read them, go figure LOL). I was a bit shocked by one of the questions, and even found myself blushing while I thought about it.

“What’s your sexual fantasy?”

“Huh, say what?” was my first thought. “Isn’t it a bit personal to go around asking people stuff like that?” Apparently not for these memes where it seems everything goes. Now, since everything goes here as well (except sushi—I hate sushi!), what say you we discuss this a bit? *g*


harlot'slover02


When asked about sex and most everything that surrounds it, whether a simple question from a stranger, an inquiry from a friend, or a seductive whisper from a lover, you cannot help but blush and feel a tiny bit embarrassed. After all, like talking about the male anatomy, G-spots and masturbation, it’s a very intimate subject you don’t feel comfortable talking about with just anyone (unless you’re a sex therapist LOL). But since I’m a shameless heathen, *g* and since we are all smart open-minded people here, why not talk about it? Everyone has sexual fantasies anyway, right? (Trollop here, *I DON’T! Abnormally embarrassed to talk about stuff like this! I went to Catholic school—for crying out loud!*)


harlot'slover03


If you talk about sexual fantasies, you need to expose yourself: your deepest thoughts, what turns you on, opening up to a world of intimacy, probably calling forth what upbringing you had, your education, senses, prohibitions, imaginations, and all the emotions involved. (Trollop again, *Did I mention I went to Catholic school? Because I’m reading this while really wanting to put my hands over my eyes!*)

Many people feel embarrassed and/or uncomfortable about their sexual fantasies (Trollop here, *Like me!*), fearing that they’re somehow weird if they’re turned on by things that are unacceptable to others. It is also especially hard on women. There was actually a time when idiotic experts denied that women *gasp* experienced or even enjoyed sexual fantasies! (Trollop here, *Er, they might have not been wrong you know, Harlot!*) However, in 1973, a book by Nancy Friday titled My Secret Garden was released. Based from actual words of many women, through her research, Ms. Friday gives a clear explanation of the guilt associated with fantasizing, and then sums it up by saying it is completely normal for women to have sexual fantasies.


harlot'slover04


The thing is, there’s nothing wrong with having fantasies. (YES, Harlot here, *Nothing wrong—you hear, Trollop! And please, you have more fantasies than I do! You even went to Catholic school to stare and fantasize about altar boys!*) To give it a go, to search for fulfillment of what brings you highly erotic charges is part of human nature—absolutely normal—healthy even. The only time having a sexual fantasy crosses the line is when the person having them does not recognize his/her reality from fantasy; such as going on a restless exploration, without restrictions, without paying attention to the physical and mental health of his/her partner. With the exception of Trollop, I’m assuming you are all sane so I take it everyone’s still fine LOL.


harlot'slover05


This goes without saying that, even though you should fulfill your sexual fantasies, it’s important that your partner is willing to participate in them with you. Never force anyone, body or mind, to do something he/she is against just to get your pleasure. When a couple shares the same sexual fantasy, then they can carry it out together. However, there are times when a couple has different fantasies in mind, which is very common. If you and your partner talk about it, you might come to an agreement. Who knows, even mix and match a couple of fantasies and see what comes of it. *wink*

If you find it difficult to let yourself enjoy your fantasies or make them come to life, you can learn. (Trollop here, *Yeah right!*) Erotica can help; try exploring bookshops for erotic books and art. There’s also a wealth of magazines available to suit any taste. (Trollop here, *Ohhh right, forgot about that Passion book—that was HOT! Mmm... maybe should finish reading it with BF.* :P)


harlot'slover06


The most common male fantasies include:
  • having sex with an existing partner
  • giving and receiving oral sex
  • having sex with more than one person
  • being dominant
  • being passive and submissive
  • reliving a previous experience
  • watching others make love
  • trying new sexual positions
Now, *g* for the ladies. According to a study conducted by HealthyPlace, here are some of the top 10 most popular women’s sexual fantasies (I’m only posting two; check out the link and look if yours is there LOL):


harlot'slover07


Strangers in the night
Many women relish the idea of meeting up with a mystery man and going to some no-name motel with him for a wild night of uninhibited sex. Sometimes women feel like the only people they can truly let loose with are strangers simply because they won’t be judged. And who cares anyway? They’ll probably never see the beautiful stranger again. (This is Trollop’s secret fantasy! Sssh!)

Francine divulged her perspective, “The idea of sharing a passionate night with a stranger and behaving like a sexual predator doesn’t just sound inviting; it sounds delicious. And leaving after we’re done without even knowing each other’s names is the best part.”


harlot'slover08


Ooh, my virgin ears!
Although saying “rape fantasy” sounds somewhat unthinkable, that’s exactly what most women call it. They want to play the innocent, naïve, unknowing little girl who gets taken advantage of by the devious, predator-like man. (Gasp! This is Trollop’s second secret fantasy!!!)

Forcibly pushing her against the wall and “pinning my arms above my head with one hand while the other hand has made its way under my skirt and is fondling my vagina,” received nods of approval by all the women in the room. Andrea went even further expecting the man to “rip off my clothes, force open my legs, penetrate me, and concurrently smear my lipstick all over my face with his forceful kiss.” Hmmm, interesting.


harlot'slover09


Guys, please keep in mind that these are fantasies; don’t read this article and take it as a reason to get medieval on your women. The reason fantasies are so cherished is because the majority of them will never be realized.

So have you ever heard any of these before? Or better yet, have you ever participated in any of them? Women of the new millennium have established their position in this sexually charged environment... and I mean that exactly how it sounds.

So gentlemen, protect yourselves at all time, and start doing that by getting yourself some condoms. Until next time, enjoy the femme fatale of your fantasies!


Interesting links:

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48 comment(s):

Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG, you ladies sure do know how to make a girl happy. I'm visiting my parents for the weekend and bored to tears right now (plus on slow ass computer that I can't do tagboard thingy, err).

Anyway, thanks for great eye candy. Love the pic on the bed where he's leaning on elbows with sheet between legs. YUMMY.

As usual, great article. I admit to being one of those who doesn't talk too much about my fantacies except with dh. That's about the only thing I'm shy about.

Thanks, for pics!

6/16/2006 10:20:00 PM  

Blogger Isabella said...

I love you bitches! LOL

Great article. :) Very interesting. I too am very shy when it comes to talking about my sexual fantasy. Of course, will only talk about it with BF. :P

LOVE the eye candy! He's gorgeous!!!

6/16/2006 10:49:00 PM  

Blogger Serendipity said...

Did I say that my best sexual fantasy is getting the big O without me having to lift a finger? In case that's too vague, let's just call it "playing log" then. :D

I can't fantasize about strangers and raping...my imaginatively-constipated*is there such a word?* mind can't enjoy it.

I feel like a Dinosaur thinking "masturbation" is for boys, and keeping mum about which spots works best for orgasm should be like Easter hunt. I might give clue, but better crawl around yourself to find the rewards.

6/17/2006 02:01:00 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!

Sigh...

Thank you BBs!!!

Will be taking that quiz now. LOL

6/17/2006 05:59:00 AM  

Blogger C Bradshaw said...

Ohmygaaaaaaawwwwwd!!!!!!

Oh my... I think I need to get my breath back first before typing...

Ok. LOL. I have to say I'm also embarrassed to talk about my sexual fantasies. But since we are all open-minded women here, I'll admit to fantasizing about that, ahem, strangers in the night. LOL. :P Between my girlfriends and I, I think that is a common fantasy amongst women. Of course, that doesn't mean I'll actually go out and do it! LOL

Great article ladies. :D

6/17/2006 06:45:00 AM  

Blogger Vanessa said...

OMG YUMMY!!!

Drool. Aggie's right, you BBs will be the death of us! LOL

Where was I? Oh right. Sigh. LOL. I think sexual fantasies are important between couples. Fulfilling them together definitely add something to the relationship. It's trying something new but of course, still with your partner. Plus carrying them out together means trust, more fire, and more fun. :)

6/17/2006 08:00:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...

*gasp* You kinky trollop!!!

Mentioned this before *shy* want to have orgasm in public place. Like that resto scene in KISS AN ANGEL and then BF will.. ahem. Going now!!!

6/17/2006 09:25:00 AM  

Blogger Danielle De Barbarac said...

Oh my..

Harlot, please, just one night with him! I promise you can have him back! Sigh.

6/17/2006 09:29:00 AM  

Blogger Jordis Juice said...

OMG Harlot, I want a piece of him too. Oh, the things I want to do to him!

Ahem. Anyway, I checked out the fantasy link and since this is so good, I'm copying my favorite here:

Who's your daddy?
If there's one thing that women are dying to do, it's dominate a man like never before. The creative ideas that flowed from this topic were quite interesting, to say the least. They included:

-spanking him
-ordering him to perform certain sexual acts
-making him beg for what he wants
-having him suck on their stiletto heels or some other phallic object

LOL :P

6/17/2006 10:22:00 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh my... Good morning. Lick, lick. LOL

6/17/2006 10:54:00 AM  

Blogger C Bradshaw said...

Jordis! LOL. I'm guessing your favorite toys are handcuffs and a whip? :P

Aggie, I think we should call him fantasy boy instead because I don't want to think he's married!!!! Oh, he's too gorgeous to be married. (Well unless he's willing to marry me LOL). Besides, that's not a wedding ring. Right, Harlot? :P

Casey

6/17/2006 11:12:00 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I took that quiz and here's what I got-

You're ORGY!

You're gay. You're straight. You're all mixed up. Although you seem fun at the time, you cause many regrets later on in life. And babies with no dadies. Which leads to even more resentment. And talk shows. It's all ver say, really.

You're the orgy fantasy! Hey, come back and meet the band! Wow, this is so cool. Just one more drink... i'm nah dronk... whoa.. lesss get nekid! *bow chika bow wow*

LOL. Olly :P

6/17/2006 12:28:00 PM  

Blogger Lorelei said...

OMG! LOL

You ladies do know how to pick your men and your topic. Great article. Top-notch eye candy.

6/17/2006 01:20:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh god he's gorgeous! Oh my.

I love the fifth photo. Damn. I wish I could be on that bed with him. Sigh. LOL

6/17/2006 02:45:00 PM  

Blogger Jordis Juice said...

Casey, I have whips in different colors and handcuffs in different sizes. If you want to borrow some, let me know. ;)

6/17/2006 03:34:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I got the Orgy result on the Quiz.
Same as Olly!
I'm not so sure you shouldn't have got that result Aggs, given that Fantasy. What a hoot.

6/17/2006 04:11:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Oh LOL Jordis,
You kinky dog!! Now i know where to borrow some handcuffs when i'm in need of one. :P Trollop keeps borrowing mine and then loses it! Don't know where she's leaving them.. :/


Casey,
No, he's not married. I haven't said yes. He keeps asking though. Sigh.


Aggs! LOL!
I have the same result, Harry Potter fantasy.. But, WHY, of all the professors, it had to be Snape! Sure his greasy hair is attractive, but i want me some bear--Hagrid should be the one in there!


Btw, Fantasy Boy (is that what we're calling him?) belongs to ME. Uh-hm. Don't worry girls, am not so selfish. You can all fantasize about my lover. But NO TOUCHING, AND NO BORROWING HIM FOR THE NIGHT (Danielle, NO!).


Welcome to all our new visitors! Please don't let Trollop and her icky eye bother you. :S I swear it's only temporary (of course until she listens and take her meds! grr!). Hope you all post often! :D

6/17/2006 04:49:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fantasy? How about you girls serving me some dessert while we're in a tropical island. Don't forget your bunny costumes too. :)

6/17/2006 05:08:00 PM  

Blogger Lorelei said...

Alright. Since y'all are sharing, it's only fair that I share my fantasy too. LOL. Gosh. Here goes.

There's this guy in my gym who's just, oh... very hot ladies. I always make sure I'm around when he's working out. LOL. Well, let's just say I sometimes dream that while I'm in the shower, he'll go in the ladies room and drag me in his arms. Of course we'll end up doing it on the floor. LOL

Now I'm blushing!!! Hiding now!

6/17/2006 05:30:00 PM  

Blogger Danielle De Barbarac said...

Oh my... Lorelei, you go girl!

Oh God I can't believe I'm sharing this! Okay. LOL. The BF is a nurse. I have always had this fantasy of us going at it in the hospital elevator, where someone can easily discover us. Never happened of course. Sigh. LOL!

6/17/2006 06:19:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ahh, I see my confession started a string of them. Way to go girls!
Don't be shy ... I want to know MORE!

Harlot: I can't have my threesome without Fantasy Boy, dammit.
Who would I get as a stand-in? Raoul?

Re: Harry Potter: Snape can go get snipped! I'd rather have "cuddly Hagrid" too! But not for my "toy boy" Fantasy.
That's another one altogether! I have many!

6/17/2006 06:51:00 PM  

Blogger Jolie said...

So I have to share mine too? Blush.

Trollop, I think you're right about women's discovery fantasy. If there's a category, mine's in there somewhere.

Now remember girls, this is only a fantasy. It's not like I'm going to do it or that it will actually happen! Well... LOL

I've always had a thing for my bestfriend's brother. He has a skanky GF though. Anyway we always hang around in his place. He has this gorgeous mahogany pool table (he's very good at pool). Sometimes I fantasize about him leaning me against that damn pool table, or doing it on top of it (of course whle our other friends are in the other room - shy). I know he knows I like him. I wonder if he suspects about my fantasy because I always blush when we play pool. LOL

6/17/2006 07:06:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Trollop,
Of course i prefer Hagrid. I'm pretty sure just his finger is better than Snape's cock. (Oh gad, now i'm grossing myself! :S)


Lorelei,
Have you talked to this hot gym guy of yours? I mean, i hope you've at least introduced yourself. :D If not, what are you waiting for? Who knows.. ;)

Oh LOL, just remembered Elaine from Seinfeld. That episode with JFK Jr! LOL


Aggie,
Sure gorgeous, you can have your threesome dream--but NEVER with my Raoul!!


Ladies,
I LOVE reading this thread! Love that everyone's sharing. Please, i want to hear more. :)

6/17/2006 07:51:00 PM  

Blogger Jordis Juice said...

OMG what did I miss? Girls, I want to know more!

Horny Old Goat, sure I'll serve you dessert. If you suck on my stiletto heels. LOL

Danielle, now I imagine you as one of the casts of Grey's Anatomy. ;)

Trollop, I think you're into something with the women's discovery fantasy. :)

Harlot, I have yet to read YOUR fantasy!

6/17/2006 08:16:00 PM  

Blogger Jolie said...

Aggie, I don't need two men. Just me and bestfriend's bro on that pool table. If he'd be ferocious with me like he does with playing pool, then I'll die happy. Will even ask for that pool table to be buried with me. ;-)

6/17/2006 09:08:00 PM  

Blogger Danielle De Barbarac said...

Jordis, LOL, I would love to be Izzie Stevens. I'm blonde too you know. :P

Girls, I too want to hear more fantasies! :D Jolie, I did it once against a pool table. Hard on the back, but very HOT! LOL

6/17/2006 09:15:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG Talk about a good Sunday morning. Drool. This guy is yummy!

6/17/2006 09:54:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Aggie,
I don't think there's gonna be a plot big enough for you, two men AND a swimming pool. How about a jacuzzi? ;)

6/17/2006 10:55:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL, I'm loving the comments here.

I'm not so shy anymore. I have a pool table fanatasy that goes back to high school with good looking guy friend who had a pool table.

I currently have a fantasy involving this really hot guy at the gym I workout at. Empty gym, bench, sweat. Seriously this guy at the gym is the hottest guy I have ever seen close up.

Naked Chef Brian stars in many of my fantasies. That fantasy obviously involves food in the kitchen *wink*.

I think the discovery fantasy is pretty common.

As for quiz I haven't taken it yet. I'm at my parent's and I'm afraid the web link will be saved on computer and my mom (or the horror, my dad) will find it. LOL, yes I'm married with kids but still don't need my parents to see that stuff. LOL.

6/17/2006 10:59:00 PM  

Blogger Jolie said...

Harlot, you're right. Aggie, don't be greedy. Swimming pool and two men? That's got to be illegal somewhere... Actually, if you think about it, jacuzzi is better than a swimming pool. Think of all that, ahem, "massaging" jets. LOL!

6/17/2006 11:26:00 PM  

Blogger Lorelei said...

Harlot, actually I've never talked to my hot gym guy. Sigh. It's just that he makes me drool too much to form any coherent word. I'm afraid I'll open my mouth and will just blurt out and ask him if he wants to shower with me LOL - since that's what I'm always thinking of when he's around.

Anyway, he smiles at me whenever he sees me at the lobby. Does that count?

6/17/2006 11:36:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fantasies oh where to begin??? The nasty quiz said I was a snape-smlimy-harry-potter sort. Not happy about that, but it probably isn't to far off the mark :-P

heres my general enquiry question though: in you darkest fantasies does the man(or men if you are the orgy sort) have a name? Do we women fantasies about someone we know or is it all stranges and perfect men like wanker boy and fantasy man?

Personally I'm a make believe fantisist all the way. If someone is going to tie me to a lamp post and have his very wicked way with me, he is also going to be absolutely perfect!

6/18/2006 05:12:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Tisty, i only fantasize about the BF. I don't know.. I find it hard to imagine myself with anyone else. (Of course, except my occassional Raoul fantasy. :P Well, that doesn't count as he's a celebrity who lives far away from me LOL.) I guess i'm lucky in the sense that when i really want to do something, BF's always game (hmm, i'm thinking men are always game?). Then, when he wants to do something dirty i try to be there for him. *blush* We've never done REALLY hardcore stuff, not into that. But, you know, whatever we do, we always have fun. :)

6/18/2006 08:15:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Regarding fantasizing about other people, for those who haven't seen it, this is what experts say from one of the links:

FANTASIZING ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE
Some people worry that fantasising about someone other than their partner is an act of betrayal, revealing either a desire to be unfaithful or that they are longer turned on by their partner alone.

In fact, this is very rarely the case. Evidence suggests that those who fantasise the most are in happy, loving, trusting relationships. It's in this kind of context that the mind explores places the body has no intention of visiting.

THE BENEFITS OF FANTASY
Sex generally starts in the brain. So an active imagination can mean you're ready for sex before anything physical has happened. Therefore, desire is heightened and arousal is much quicker.

Some people find an active fantasy life can add novelty to a long-standing sexual relationship. This can be particularly helpful if your partner is not as sexually adventurous as you are.

But conversely, if you find it embarrassing to experiment in bed, fantasy offers an opportunity to give your imagination free rein and to play out roles. It can be used as a practice arena where you can build confidence before embarking on something new.

In psychosexual therapy, fantasy is often used to block out negative thoughts. If you find during sexual encounters your mind wanders to unhelpful images or thoughts, fantasy can help you to refocus on your sexual pleasure.

6/18/2006 08:22:00 AM  

Blogger C Bradshaw said...

How could I miss this discussion last night?!

Tisty, I do fantasize about strangers. LOL. Like gorgeous men I met on my job. Of course, it's not like I'm going to do it with them. I do have a boyfriend who's very playful and help me realize my fantasies. :)

6/18/2006 09:43:00 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

How could anyone be so fucking gorgeous????

I love this blog! And girls, I love the comments. :D Will be back later to share mine, really have to go, thank you Book Bitches! :)

6/18/2006 12:44:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Alright, here goes one of my fantasies LOL. It's at this posh cafe BF and i are regulars. It'll go like this: Around 2AM, the delicious owner (aka: BF) is just closing the cafe. Still wearing his suit (oh, i love a man in suit! *rar*) because he just got off an important meeting, he saw this stranger woman (aka: me) eyeing him from outside through the window display. The stranger woman is wearing a coat, hair tousled, with a frilly umbrella in hand. *ahem* He walks to the door, lets her in, removes her coat.. Of course she's only wearing lacy undies. :P He'll then ravish her--first on the bar, then on the floor, then.. oh my.. against the window display with nutella all over their bodies. *sigh* :P LOL

6/18/2006 04:45:00 PM  

Blogger Vanessa said...

Harlot! Oh my... LOL! Me, well... I had this hot professor who just, arrgh, made me drool. And no we didn't do it. I wish we did though. LOL. In one of the classrooms, on top of the teacher's table. I remember always fantasizing during his class and wishing he'll ask me to stay afterwards to give me some, you know, extra lessons. LOL.

6/18/2006 05:02:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh WOW great blog! And I love your names! Harlot and Trollop. :)

6/18/2006 05:36:00 PM  

Blogger Jolie said...

Harlot, I love your fantasy! I hope your lucky BF can keep up with you. ;-)

Aggie, don't worry my friend. I think when it comes to having sex in a Jacuzzi, everything always fits. LOL!

6/18/2006 06:29:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jesus Ladies...talk about opening up a can of worms! I've had a lot of fantasies over the years and have fulfilled some of them and have yet to try others. I love sex/sexual acts in public places. The thrill of having to stay quiet! I can check off police car, ambulance, fire truck, hospital bed, the end of a pier, a museum, the beach, elevator...haha...this is getting out of hand. I must say though, probably my biggest fantasy over the years that's stuck around would be the random sex with an unbelievably sexy stranger. I had an encounter once with an insanely hot black man. I was walking on the beach with a friend of mine and he was sort of "lingering." I went over and told him that if he saw something he liked that he shouldn't just hang back and watch it but he should go for it. Turned into about a 45 minute make out marathon! As far as the teacher fantasies tho...had the sexiest physics teacher for grade 12...must say...the sexual tension was almost too much and i got a kiss goodbye after the commencement ceremony...Why I must ask does it feel so damned good to be so damned bad?
Nobody ever accused me of being shy!!

~hehe

6/20/2006 08:06:00 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

is it just me or were there a lot of spelling errors on that quiz?? i know i'm a big geek..hahaha..

6/20/2006 08:09:00 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG who is this guy?

Great blog you have here ladies.

6/20/2006 02:12:00 PM  

Blogger Jordis Juice said...

I just have to stop by to see him again. Sigh.

Hehesnort, you dirty girl! LOL. I love that everyone's sharing. :) I did it once in a cab. LOL. The driver who I'm sure knew what my date and I were doing at the back never said anything.

Harlot, great fantasy. But Aggie's right. You should totally be naked underneath that coat. ;)

6/20/2006 04:24:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Hehesnort,
OMG, Jordis is right, you dirty girl! LOL I love what you said to the hot stranger man. :P

I think most women have a fantasy of doing it in some public place where the thrill of being discovered always hovers. Phin IS right!


Aggie and Jordis,
I love lace, it adds, er, friction. :P Besides, the sexy stranger can play with it first before he easily takes it off of me--no need to hurry. ;)

6/20/2006 05:02:00 PM  

Blogger Jolie said...

Oh please Harlot, you are the dirty girl!

Hehesnort, I love that you actually fulfill your fantasies. You go girl! ;-)

I love this thread!

6/20/2006 06:07:00 PM  

Blogger Serendipity said...

About that pain thingy...I guess I should remember being tied up with handcuffs when I am laboring to give birth and it will be painless. No epidural needed!

Dang it! Why didn't I think of it? Now I won't be going through labor anymore. Drat!

Interesting. My word verification is "fksyo" Appropos wouldn't you think?

6/20/2006 07:40:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

anybody ther who can teach me wot all about this..........;)

11/03/2008 09:34:00 AM