I’m trying to recall ever reading a romance novel where the hero didn’t have a huge cock or the heroine didn’t have a
“very tight” vagina.
Where do these
humongous-penis-men live and who are these women with tiny coochies? I can tell you that no man has ever said “you’re so tight” to me. Not even the first guy I had sex with—of course he had a weenie wiener so maybe nothing would have been too tight for him LOL.
Another of my romance book sex concerns is women that “feel” men ejaculate inside them. Last I heard this was virtually impossible because women have almost no nerve endings in their cervix wall. (Can you imagine birth if we actually did? *YIKES*) Then, care to explain how it is that these heroines are always feeling warm/wet fluid gushing inside them? I, personally, have NEVER ever felt semen hitting anything inside me.
I wish that for once an author would write a book about a man with a tiny cock and an erectile dysfunction and a woman with a vagina as big as salad bowl who could not orgasm. They both have to be gorgeous though or I’m not reading it. Am I asking for too much?
Labels: cock fetish, ooh la la fabio, romance baby
The last two VDs I posted how
Singles Awareness Day gets my knickers in a twist—and not in a good way. This year, with a box of ChocNut from my little brother (he’s 17 now with tons of GFs yet he still gives me chocolates *big smile*) and 4 jars of Nutella from my recurrent ex, quite constant BF of the last 3 years, I’m so full of delicious goodness mm mmmm I’ve decided not to have a VD rant; instead, I’m going to give you something to ogle. *g*
You guys know about
my lurve for sex toys (like
here and
here and
here and then
here and
here), most of them for girls. I just realized, I’ve yet to feature something for the boys. (For shame; so sorry, my darling boys...) Nah, I’m not talking about blow-up dolls.** Nope. Gents—and ladies—I present to you, the Pussy Foot...
The SiFeet Pussy Foot is the ultimate fantasy sex toy for foot fetishists. This size 6, 100% silicone foot is cast in pure silicone from a real life actual, beautiful female foot.
The feature that makes the Pussy Foot even better than an actual foot is the pussy located on the sole of the foot. You can passionately fuck the foot in a way you’ve never been able to before. It is the perfect combination of foot and vagina.
I’m not Trollop the Foot Fetishist, but jeezuz, have you seen anything like that?!? It looks like a crossbreed between a diabetic foot with an ulcer wound and a poor woman who stepped on a humongous nail. (She definitely needs a tetanus shot. :/)
Actually, if you ask me, I think this... um, thing, is a loonytrap. Ya know, you order it and—BAM! Dudes in lab coats with butterfly nets and syringes show up at your house and lock you in before you go on a killing rampage! (DUN-DUN-DUN!!!) Er, *ahem* just saying: Beware, pervy heathens.
Wonder what would be the male equivalent of this. A washboard abs torso with a big cock in the middle you can cuddle? Hmmm, wocha think? And would you buy it? Hee. C’mon, admit it. :P
**I have a friend who once told me, and I quote: “When you buy a sex doll, never be tempted to blow it up the whole way, because if you do the vagina will pop out and it’s an absolute bastard to get back in.” LOL Until this day I’ve no idea why he imparted this piece of gem with me but I swear on Trollop’s wooden dildo I don’t have—and don’t fantasize of having!—a blow-up doll. With that said, if you learn nothing else from TBB, take that fact to the grave. *wink*Labels: bloody vd, cock fetish, holidaze, nutella lovah, sex and the bitches
Boyzilian n. A Brazilian bikini wax applied to a man.
Also:
boyzilian, boy-zilianHURRAH! Finally men get it: hairy balls and pubes = no blowjob 4 U LOL
Related:
Intimate waxing is gaining popularity among males gay and straight salons. It wasn’t the first thing most people noticed when they saw the posters of David Beckham modelling a new range of designer underpants. But once they had finished inspecting the xylophone stomach muscles, cooed at the snug fit of his briefs and imagined themselves as the object of his come-hither look, their eyes were drawn to the footballer’s upper and inner thighs. They looked awfully smooth. Had he ... he hadn’t, had he? ... done his bikini line?
All over the country more and more men (gay and straight alike) are marching into beauty salons and demanding a “Boyzilian”, or as one Yorkshire-based salon bills it, “the Full Monty”. In other words, the complete or near-complete removal of hair in intimate areas using wax. If you have £120 to spare, you can even get it done in Harrods, in the Refinery spa.
Business is booming. “A year ago I was doing three men a week. Now I am doing three men a day,” she said. “I don’t know why it has suddenly become more popular, but when people come in they do mention David Beckham. Now that celebrities like him are open about waxing, it makes other men feel more comfortable about it.”
And people say celebrities don’t use their fame for good things. Ha! Becks has shown them!Labels: celebs crap, cock fetish, fuckalicious, kinky lifestyle
Does anyone remember that episode in
SATC when Samantha casually mentions to the girls over brunch that she’s doing her vaginal exercises? Yes? No? Well, I do. The moment she declared that’s the way she stayed “tight” was the second I went to find out how to get my butt in shape (er, no pun intended).
After
Trollop’s poor results in the five orgasms challenge, I have to ask: Are you guys doing your
Kegels? Yes, I’m asking all of you heathens and not just the pregger ones.
I’m surprised a lot of women don’t know what the Kegel muscle is (more accurately called
pubococcygeus or PC muscle), or if they do know about it they’re not exercising it. DUDE, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? No one wants a loose coochie!
I admit, I’m lazy and I barely go to the gym. (In my defense I go shopping almost everyday and walk for 3 hours.) But when it comes to my PC muscles, I tone and condition, squeeze/hold/release, clench and unclench, baby. Here’s why: - A strong PC muscle (let’s call it “The Kegel”) gives both partners a muchos greater sexual fulfillment. Meaning: MORE MORE MORE orgasms, more intense orgasms, including the ever elusive G-spot orgasms.
- “The Kegel” will give you a higher libido. You’ll get in closer connection with your body and become more responsive and intuitive during sex. Hence, the sex will become better and you’ll want more sex because you’re learning how to work it the way you want it.
- “The Kegel” will squeeze your man’s pole of love so tight he’ll see the light and whimper from orgasmic delight!
Now, don’t tell me you don’t have time to do Kegels yada yada yada. Shut up. I do my Kegels any time: at home, at the mall, boring date/meeting, while reading, pestering Trollop, watching TV, etc. Seriously, there is no excuse not to do them. All you gotta do is sit for like five minutes, concentrate and voila! So verra easy. You can do it for 40 seconds at a time trice a day and before you know it, you have enough muscle control that it can use the TV remote on its own (verra helpful skill when watching a yummy studmuffin and your hands are otherwise occupied ;P).
Okay, let’s find your PC muscles first. Here are some tips: - The easy way: While you’re peeing, intentionally stop the flow of urine. Repeat it several times till you become familiar with the muscle you’re using to stop the flow. This muscle is your PC muscle.
- The Harlot’s way *wink*: Ask your lover for help. Lie down. Take his hand and guide his finger inside your vajayjay. Clench. If he feels pressure around his finger, you’re using the right muscle.
For Kegels virgins, read this and this for more instructions.
If you keep forgetting to do your Kegels, the key is this: find something to use as a trigger. Like when you’re having breakfast, waiting in line at the pornshop, on a subway, browsing our blog, anything really—and the beauty of it is no one needs to know why you’re grinning. Or shuddering, heh.
Now, don’t think the men are getting off easy here (pun intended). Yep, men have PC muscles too:
Exercising this muscle regularly will prolong the duration of lovemaking and make your climax much more intense. Some say that guys with healthy PC muscles can actually hang a towel over their erections and raise and lower their penises at will.
If that’s not enough to convince you blokes to do Kegels I don’t know what is. Chicas, feel free to share this info with your BF, hubby and every dude in your harem whose sorry asses aren’t reading TBB, hmph. Thank me later when you’re having better sex. :P
In conclusion, here’s what I hope some of you have learned:- DO your Kegel exercises.
- DON’T underestimate the power that lies between your legs.
- Let me repeat it again, say it with me this time: There is NO excuse not to do Kegels.
- Added tip for the ladies: Try doing some Kegel crunches while your man is deep inside you. That would give your PC muscles some work and I guarantee, your lover will take it like a man: moaning and begging for more. *g*
Labels: cock fetish, sex and the bitches
Almost two years ago I wrote a post titled “
The Big Cock Theory.” I was in the midst of reading
Passion by
Lisa Valdez and I was shocked (shocked!) about the number of times Mrs. Valdez mentioned the hero’s huge penis and subsequently huge testicles. Mark Randolph Hawkmore’s
cock was like his sidekick, practically a character in the book!
I understood that 10.5 inches was big, however, I don’t think I could honestly get my mind around *just* how big. I suppose I imagined Mark
“hung” like a porn star or something similar—but never this! At this moment all I know is that whatever idea I had was nothing compared to the
reality of a BIG cock.
(Click at your own peril! Images soooooooo not work-safe!)
Jonah Falcon’s penis is 9.5 inches flaccid, 13.5 inches erect. Tense your forearm. Now wrap your hand around the middle of the muscle. That is the girth of Falcon’s erection. Those who have witnessed it describe it as “grotesque,” “gorgeous,” “hideous” and “stunning.” Falcon, who stands five foot nine, thinks his penis is perfectly formed, with a fifteen-degree downward curvature at the six-inch mark and absent the blotching, lumpiness and sudden bends that mark some oversize sex organs.
His balls are proportionately huge, each the size of a grade-A jumbo egg. When erect, Falcon’s penis generates enough heat to warm hands—campfire style—from a distance of six inches.
That, right there, is fucking scary! This thing could light your hoohaa on fire, cinder your pubic hair (though, it’d serve you right for not waxing it off!), and give you third degree burns. It probably glows in the dark—a good item to own in a blackout.
Falcon packs his penis to the left and buttons his pants. The human brain needs several seconds to reconcile the sight. His dick stretches across his pelvis and settles against his outer thigh. The head of Falcon’s organ rises in unmistakable relief from beneath the fabric. His balls, especially when he pushes them up as he does today, look like the wide, oval eyes ascribed to Martians in popular drawings.
I’m bowled over by the images this description is placing in my mind. 9.5 inches flaccid? Balls the size of jumbo eggs? As thick as a forearm? I’m scared witless that I’ll ever have to encounter such a penis. I’ll never be able to look at another man now and not wonder what monster he’s hiding under those nice tailored pants.
If this dude and I were stranded on an island, I’d castrate him the minute he’d tried to use that rod for anything other than hammering, drilling holes in the sand or fishing!
Now, click here to read “The Big Cock Theory.” *g*Labels: cock fetish, for the love of rakes and rogues, sex and the bitches, some like it hot
Jesus, I don’t know why I always end up getting this kind of videos. *long suffering sigh* (Another one
here.) I swear I wasn’t looking for an erotic dentist’s chair, nor was I searching for any weird-ass coin-operated shopping center ride. (I wasn’t! Sheesh. Well, heh, not this time at least. :P) Still, my curiosity was aroused enough *ahem* so I just had to do a wee research on it. Here’s a muchos better but verra
NSFW version of that demo video.
Dear perverts, meet
Dream Love Chair (no shit!), South Korea’s contribution to the Sexual Revolution. I know it looks like something your horny granny would have built because even I can see Dick Van Dyke and Mary Tyler Moore using it, but nah-ah, don’t be fooled, you skeptic heathens. It’s way advance than the
Sybian and
Angel Wings Sex Chair, or
Power Sex Chair and
Luvseat!
Switching on the machine prompts the man’s chair to move backward and forward, while the woman’s slowly rotates. The machine has a five-gear speed system, with the fastest promising five thrusts per second. There’s also a pause button to allow time to consider what’s taking place.
Women’s seats on the Dream Love Chair have even more functions. They can rotate in either direction at a whopping 10 different speeds! And the seat also vibrates—at two adjustable speeds!
Hmmm. Perhaps stories like these should have a “pause button” to allow time to consider what I’ve just read. *confused* Er, but really, I’m trying to imagine: FIVE THRUSTS PER SECOND while the woman is rotating/vibrating in different directions at variable speeds??? Hoh ding-ding-ding, daddy! Hell probably has amusement parks like this LOL.
But the main effect is that the machine basically does all the moving for the couple, taking the drudgery out of grinding the pelvis.
Okay, wait, wait. The DRUDGERY? No wonder the birth rate in Japan is declining. :/ In any case there are two things I’m pri-ti sure of: (1) this ultimate fucking machine is invented for lazy fucks (if you’ll pardon the pun) (honestly, HOW LAZY must you be to use it to have sex?!?), (2) I’d probably end up breaking the stupid thing *g* but I’d love to try it.
What? Oh, c’mon—admit it—you’d love to give it a spin too! *hmph* Fuck the old fashion fucking and the parabolic upside down rotating lumberjack sex! Who cares if it takes out the fun in thrusting?! The only drawback I see is the dude won’t have enough blood in his brain to reach down and speed/slow down the naughty nookie knocker when he’s too horny, banging away and yelling, “NIHON BANZAI! NIHON BANZAI! AIYAYAYAYAY!!!”
Related: Labels: cock fetish, sex and the bitches, youtubery
I’ve lost count on how many times I’ve written about BOB/wanking. Heck, I gotta write about it when it’s fascinating and
I it know by heart. I suppose it helps that it makes one forget of other things (by “it” I mean wanking) and it does keep one sane (writing AND wanking) (wanking saves the world, really).
Last week in some cave somewhere whilst I was rusticating, I stumbled upon an
article at Slate about the history of vibrator. It’s short, only ten slides, with verra interesting—and SCARY—pictures. It covers the history of “hysterical paroxysm” *snort* (yep,
same lesson brought to us by Teacher Trollop on one of her kinky classes), perverted quacks of yore who gave their women patients some cure (AKA: handjob), poor bastards diagnosed with “spermatorrhea” (AKA: horndoginess) and, of course—EUREKA! HALLEEELUUUUUJAH!—the invention of
BOB (AKA: women’s BFF *g*). Who knew that even way back in 1917 there were more BOB than toasters in American homes?
Here’s a picture of one of those vintage BOB by Hamilton Beach:
Toldja, toldja! Scary, isn’t it? Gahh. Not that scary freaky-shit apparatuses have or WILL stop a “hysterical” person to spank his monkey or pet her beaver or tickle the pickle—or, er, jerkin’ the gherkin? *confused* Oh, you know what I mean...
**I’m fixing some stuff on blog/template, changing sidebar, checking links, repairing damages caused by Trollop, etc. If you guys notice any problem, let me know. Thanks.
Related: Labels: cock fetish, sex and the bitches
First off, let’s be clear on this (for newbies):
I am no damn expert on anything except my own selfish harloty desires. So before you have another short course of training in the Harlot and Trollop’s Sexual Boot Camp that’s akin to a veritable pu pu platter of sex orientation, let me remind you that everything is given under a fruity martini (with wee umbrella :D) while I’m in the kitchen successfully making a mess and several little fires.
Now, those of you who like older men, say aye. *g*
What? Nay? Liar. :P It’s a known fact women are attracted to older men. I don’t mean a 26-year-old like me dating a 76-year-old geezer who needs Viagra before His Robin and His Merry Men could function OMGWTFBBQ. Dears, that’s not attraction, that’s affliction. :/
I’m talking about women wanting a strong and confident man. In the days of yore, this meant an egg fertilizer who looks more of a caveman than a baboon and could hunt to feed his family while protecting them from saber-toothed cats and giant beavers. Lucky for us, today we now have sperm clinics, butchers and policemen from the zoo! YAY!
Oh, a woman still EXPECTS a man to provide for his family—but in this era of TV soap operas, she now expects her man to be mature, know who he is/what he wants/sure he’s not gay, and provide financial stability and long-term security. Yes yes, these can be found in most men over 18 but more often than not, women correlate older men with the CAPABILITY of providing said traits and an oh-so-pritti Birkin. :D
In favor of the older man. Women want to be wooed, and ohhh... older men KNOW how to do it. I.e.: Instead of inviting you to a friend’s party, they invite you to an out of town concert. Something that most young men wouldn’t think of because they can’t afford it—or their mama won’t allow them, Xenu forbid!
There’s also the fact that older men are more experienced, and with experience comes muchos better performance. *ahem* It’s true: like fine wine, they get better with age... *g* Add his graceful ways, proper grooming, dressing well, that certain hot-hot-HOT sexiness of I-have-seen-the-world-fuck-off, and smelling good whilst kissing you and sitting in his comfortable car. Oi, muuuuy delicioso. ;)
On dating an older man. When I was 20, I dated a 35-year-old guy. He was Mr. Super-Sexy-Smart-Smooth; I was Bounce-Bouncy-Shy. (What? I could be shy! *hmph*) After the first awkward date, we found some common interest and started from there. The fact that he’s a fantastic kisser, mmm mmm... didn’t hurt at all, hee. :P The TRICK is this: (a) Find a common ground that will let your relationship to be successful. (b) If your interests are completely different, heck, just embrace it and RUN with it! I.e.: Instead of pouting that I dunno what he’s talking about, I listened to him—and he did too. We learned a thing or two from each other. *g* Plus, he likes to cook; I like to eat. He likes books; I like to read. He loves oohs and aahs; I... oh, get with it.
The most common dilemma is the negative speculations from gossips around you. But hey, I’m a shameless heathen who doesn’t give a flying fuck what others think LOL. I say as long as you know that YOUR and HIS intentions are inline, then no reason to justify your relationship. If your family/friends think you’re being “weird”, just let them get used to it. Surely if they see how happy he makes you, they’ll be happy for you too. Just—for crying out loud, woman—DON’T DO PDA!!!
How young is too young? Mr. Super-Sexy-Smart-Smooth and I didn’t work. Why? The two decades dividing us and, let’s face it, I was scarcely an adult. Oh, youth! *sniff*
There are 16-year-olds that are being pursued by a much older man and they fall in love with them. I can’t blame them, but do I think it’s right? Hmm... I don’t want to say things like statutory rape, *cough* borderlinepedophilia *cough*, EWW GROSS and PERVERT PERVERT!—but this makes me want to shout, “Drop the creep! Enjoy your youth and date guys closer to your own age!”
This is the 21st century, dude needs psychiatric help if he’s 30+ (mid-20) and seriously consider having a relationship with a 16/17-year-old. Age ISN’T nothing but numbers when YOU’RE A FUCKING TEEN AND HE’S TWICE YOUR AGE. I think any man who gets involve with a girl so young has demons in his closet; he’s either immature or has low self-esteem, Tom Cruise syndrome (crazeee midget with a god complex), a control freak, under-achiever, in an early mid-life crisis, emotionally confused, PERVERT PERVERT, or all of the above!
Now, I won’t say your feelings aren’t real. It may be real to you—and who’s to say he’s not sincere? But truth is, THAT’S NOT ENOUGH. You HAVE to consider: Why can’t he relate to women his age (or at least 10 years younger)? What does his being older mean; does he control you or take charge in some other way? What about his exes; *alarm* are they all teens as well?
You might say, “Judgmental Harlot, harrumph, what about those in their 30’s dating someone in their 50’s?” The simple answer: life experience. A teen can’t claim he/she has finished school with a stable career and lived as an adult. Basically, a teen—no matter how mature—is just starting life while a 30-something-person’s is already in full boogie, or, er, tango.
After 11 years of dating, I’ve deduced... ALL boys are the same LOL. Younger men, older men, they all want to get between your legs and dance to the tune of shaking the sheets. (C’mon, I DARE you to deny it. *g*) They only differ on HOW they get to it. Younger men are eager, sometimes too sweet like a little seal pup you want to clobber. Older men, ah... they’re like crossword puzzle: complicated, tricky and you’re NEVER really sure you got the right answer.Labels: cock fetish, sex and the bitches
This is so silly and, really, six years’ long overdue, but I just watched
LOTR (for like the gazillionth time) with my two college buddies who came visiting since they thought it’s
my birthday today. (Honestly, boys... *rolls eyes* They got points for braving the typhoon to see me though.) So—I kept making sex noises every time Aragorn came on the screen (no pun, no pun!) and one of them said, surprised, “Don’t you like Legolas?”
Er... no. Sure, the pointy ears look yummy and the living forever sets my heart a-flutter, but that elf reminds me of a disembodied grown-up version of a Barbie head full of bleached hair that I wouldn’t even dream of keeping him as my elven love toy and play with his silky locks. :/ Besides, I don’t want to steal Leggy away from Gimli; that dwarf will attack me with his huge ax! Aaaack!
Also, WHY on Gandalf’s pants would I prefer Leggy over Aragorn??? Aragorn. IS. Sex. Compare to Leggy—who hops like a lizard and I’m suuuure squeals like a girl—Aragorn is a *MAN*... and, ohhh, what a man... *sigh* *drools while fanning self* I KNOW he’d be great in the sack.
Ya know, hee, this reminds me of weird crushes. :P Not that Aragorn is weird! It’s just, I remember a friend who’s into hobbit-lovin’ and dreamt of nibbling on Pippin’s upper lip and... um, those hairy hobbit feet. *shudder* I actually laughed about this but was silenced when she turned on me and said, “Don’t tell me you don’t have any weird crushes, Harlot A., because I know full well Bill Murray and Jon Stewart make you sigh.”
*Hmph* Fine. FINE. *hmph* But—well—how can I not like Bill Murray?! Sure, he has thinning hair and bad complexion but watch him in Groundhog Day and you’ll see moments of ridiculous sexiness! That scene at the very end where he wakes up next to Rita and murmurs, “What can I do for you today?” Oh my... I would have clung to his neck and say, “Baby, take me, take meeee.” I just know that WHATEVER she says—no matter how crazy, outrageous or perverted it is—he WILL do it.
And Jon Stewart! What’s not to love? He is so witty and smart and cute and funny that I just want to sit on his lap, unbutton his perfectly ironed shirt and do things to him that will make him blush and stammer. *g* I’d take him over the likes of Leggy Bloom who, BTW, looks like he has a problem with his penis. (Perhaps it’s not bleached enough. :/)
I also have a thing for author David Sedaris; if only he’d agreed to take me... *sniff* There’s also E.E. Cummings whose poetry I simply loooove that if there’s a chance he’d whisper in my ear, “May I feel... may I touch... may I move... come...” ohgod... I would quiver from my scalp to my harloty little toes.
Hmmm, I suppose everyone has a thing for some bloke who may not be considered handsome but makes you think, “He could be really great in bed...” What? Oh, come on! Sexiness is more than skin deep!
Oh-ho-kay, fess up! Which not-so-gorgeous man makes you think he has interesting possibilities? And—back to LOTR—who floats your bloat: the elf or the ranger? Or, *ahem* you prefer a threesome with Merry and Pippin? ;)
Related: Labels: bitch at the movies, cock fetish, kinky lifestyle
I was talking to Trollop’s dad a while ago and he mentioned some exercises that will ease back pains. You see, my poor babe’s back is hurting again (god knows what trollopy things she’s been doing :/) and since I’ve been told by insensitive ingrates that my massages feel like karate chop-chops, *hmph* I thought I’d google some helpful stuff.
Now, listen here, you dirty-minded heathens. Before I continue, I want to make something clear: my intention is PURE and TRUE (truly, truly!) and it’s nothing but to help Trollop out; I SWEAR... I have nooooo idea how or why I ended up looking at
bizarre butt plugs!!!
I highly advocate masturbation and the
use of BOBs, buttt since I’m not into butt plugs—and anyone who even thinks of inserting something up my cutie little (at least that’s the rumor ;)) bottom will be kicked out of my bed—I never gave any thought about them. It never occurred to me that there’s a complete wacky world of butt plugs out there for me to discover LOL.
Honestly... devil, pony, fox, peacock tail butt plugs? Hee. *g* There’s even a
Celebrity Butt Plug! (“Hurry up, luv. Insert Brad Pitt up my arse...” *batts eyelashes*) And what about that
Extreme Anal Jewelry, the butt plug of the rich and famous? I heard the “size, shape and weight of this beauty have made all of the other plugs obsolete.” :P BUTT, ohhh, here are my, er, favorites:
According to Subby Hubby—who I truly believe is utterly reliable (his name rhymes, ya know;
I’m putty in poet’s, um, hands :/)—
Anal Ring Toss is the bestest...
My wife and i bought this and we love it, she put it in and me and my friends threw a couple of rings. After that i put it in and her friends played, with a slite twist, my hands were tied to my feet, they bet money on who would win, and they had a steel studded paddle. In the event of anger, my ass functions as a anger/stress reliver.
You: Sweetiebuns, it’d be kinda hot if you dress as a pig, with piggy ears and piggy nose and curly tail and then crawl around...
Pig Lover: Yeah?
You: Mm-hmm. The
Pig Tail Butt Plug alone would make me hot. Fuck me all piggy. Snorting. And then I can huff and puff and blow you. *rarr* I mean... *oink*oink*
Is your lover dying to do the bunny hop for you? Why, whatcha waitin’ for? Get the
Bunny Tail Butt Plug and he/she will surely hop like a floppity, hoppity, rabbity bunny! Besides, isn’t this like THE CUTEST butt plug evah? Seriously. Say it isn’t so and I’ll call you a liar. :P
Labels: cock fetish, fucking around, sex and the bitches, youtubery
Something verra verra fishy is going on with
Lisa Valdez’s
Patience. There are no updates on her site; the release date listed for
Patience is still August 2006. In case Ms. Valdez is Confunded by the Confundus Charm, it’s July 2007 already! But what boggles the mind is that they keep canceling the release date. First, August of last year, then last May—and now it’s been
totally erased from Amazon? WTF?
I actually enjoyed
Passion, the first installment in the series and—if this never ending delay continues—the only book by Ms. Valdez. To be honest, unlike many, I’m not loca over Mark and his popular big cock. God knows I’d run away and buckle myself with a chastity belt if he waggled his 10-inch heat-seeking moisture missile in front of me. *shiver* However, I have to commend Ms. Valdez. She pushed the romance envelop with that book—aye, she did. The same way Mark has pushed and pushed and PUSHED himself into Passion that
made me squirm and cross my legs real tight while pondering: *gasp* “Is that possible?” *shock* “His throbbing sword of fire made her vajayjay pop?!?” :S
Now, I don’t know what’s going on with Ms. Valdez; there are probably things beyond a writer’s control, but you have to admit, the irony of it all when she titled her second book Patience. Was that her way of cautioning her fans? *ahem* “Ye be warned. Be patient, humans.” Ohhh, ruthless! But that’s nothing compare to the sneak peek that was evilly-planted at the back of Passion.
The excerpt goes like this: Matthew and Patience left a dinner party. They started doing the hula and talking about things that made “Patience’s cunt throb with a deep, almost painful, craving; and the pulsing bud of flesh that always brought her pleasure tortured her now with its burning need for release. Every word he uttered inflamed her more, made her want him more.” I KNOW! But that’s not all! Matthew goes back to the party, leaving Patience naked and tied to his bed posts! *gasp* And then, and then... *breathe* END.
OH. COME. ON. What happened?!? Has Matthew brought a cucumber for Patience to, er, chomp on? (She admits she’d practiced with a cucumber after spying on her maid perform fellatio on their butler. :/) “Rarr... I want more cucumbers, Matthew.” *purrs* What, what in the butt? Ms. Valdez, how cruel! Cruel, I tell you!!!
If I’m reading this right, Matthew is as well-endowed as “big” brother Mark. And with all the mention of that damn cello, Matthew’s towering lance of lurve might not be the only huge instrument that would enter Patience. :S Or, perhaps more cucumbers? *confused* And what about Primrose? When would she experience the delights of zee cucumbers? Hmmmm... In any case, cello, cucumbers or dragon of desire writhing beneath Matthew’s tight-stretched trousers, we wouldn’t know now... would we?
Related: Labels: cock fetish, for the love of rakes and rogues, romance baby, some like it hot
I *HATE* forwarded emails. I always ignore them, even the ones with plenty of exclamation points warning you that “YOU MUST READ THIS!!!” and “PASS IT TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!!” Nothing against the senders (as most of them are my friends) but forwarded emails are pointless and they fucking clutter my clutter-less inbox! If I want to read some jokes/
poems/haikus, see funny/disgusting/
shocking twittery, be inspired/touched/gagged—I know where to look, man, honestly...
It’s the same reason why I never forward them to others—much less post them here on TBB. But, gotta admit, there’s this one I got the other day, and I couldn’t resist: “Things NOT to Say to a Naked Guy.” :P (Fine. FINE.
I’m reading HP7 and can’t be bothered to write something! *hmph* I pwomithe a free-forwarded stuff tomorrow—or evah—and to not take offense if you won’t read this list, you ingrates. And yes, feel free to add more! *g*)
Related:
1. I’ve smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahh, it’s cute.
3. Who circumcised you?
4. Why don’t we just cuddle?
5. You know they have surgery to fix that.
6. It’s more fun to look at.
7. Make it dance.
8. You know, there’s a tower in Italy like that.
9. Can I paint a smiley face on that?
10. It looks like a night crawler.
11. Wow, and your feet are so big.
12. My last boyfriend was 4 inches bigger.
13. It’s ok, we’ll work around it.
14. Is this a mild or a spicy Slim Jim?
15. Eww, there’s an inch worm on your thigh.
16. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
17. Oh no, a flash headache.
18. (giggle and point)
19. Can I be honest with you?
20. My 8-year-old brother has one like that.
21. Let me go get my tweezers.
22. How sweet, you brought incense.
23. This explains your car.
24. You must be a growing boy.
25. Maybe if we water it, it’ll grow.
26. Thanks, I needed a toothpick.
27. Are you one of those pygmies?
28. Have you ever thought of working in a sideshow?
29. Every heard of Clearasil?
30. All right, a treasure hunt!
31. I didn’t know they came that small.
32. Why is God punishing you?
33. At least this won’t take long.
34. I never saw one like that before.
35. What do you call this?
36. But it still works, right?
37. Damn, I hate baby-sitting.
38. It looks so unused.
39. Do you take steroids?
40. I hear excessive masturbation shrinks it.
41. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
42. Why don’t we skip right to the cigarettes?
43. Oh, I didn’t know you were in an accident.
44. Did you date Lorena Bobbitt?
45. Aww, it’s hiding.
46. Are you cold?
47. If you get me real drunk first.
48. Is that an optical illusion?
49. What is that?
50. I’ll go get the ketchup for your French fry.
51. Were you neutered?
52. It’s a good thing you have so many other talents.
53. Does it come with an air pump?
54. So this is why you’re supposed to judge people on personality.
55. Where are the puppet strings?
56. Your big gun is more like a BB gun.
57. Look, it fits my Barbie clothes.
58. Never mind, why bother.
59. Is that a second belly button?
60. Where’s the rest of it?Labels: cock fetish, fucking around, fun and games
Whilst perusing
Love Honey *wink* I came across (no pun intended) this very unique toy called
Vortex Vibrations Suction Vacuum Cleaner Vibrator...
The Seducer (AKA: “less suction, more vibration”) and The Introducer (AKA: “more suction, less vibration”). Heh, sounds more like romance novel titles than a BOB... Or, maybe not.
Attach to your vacuum cleaner and you’ll never moan about doing the Hoovering!
Place Vortex over the clitoris against the labia. Suction will immediately increase blood flow to the clitoris causing it to enlarge and become sensitive. Move the slider down and the clitoris itself starts to vibrate, fluttering like a reed in a saxophone. By adjusting the slider upward or downward, YOU control the rate of vibration.
Excuse me, *choke* say what? Attach it to a VACUUM CLEANER and put that freaky thing over my clit??? *gasp* *shock* ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE?!?
First of all, I doubt my clit will “flutter like a reed in a saxophone” (WTF?). Second of all, I’m pritti sure my “little man in a boat” will die of a little clit panic attack asking why in god’s name I ever let it come into contact with a fucking vacuum cleaner! (I’m quite fond of my clit, thank you.) (If you want to know more how this BOB aberration works,
check out this video.)
You know, all the vacuuming in my house is done by my love slaves (well, they don’t want me to do any work... *long suffering sigh*) so, yes, I’ve yet to use a vacuum cleaner. But even I know folks use it to suck up dust and dirt and all kinds of horrors. Hel-looooo? I’m talking about bugs, poop and god-knows what! Honestly, I’m all up to dirty DIRRRTY *rarr* sex, but this
stupid contraption “attachments” will suck the life out of your “pleasure nubbin” by an unhygienic Dirt Devil!!! *shudder*
I think I’m going to have a word with
Eduardo and
Edmundo about their vacuuming... :/ I mean, now that I can’t stop thinking about this (I can’t!—jeez, look at that thing!), I’m crossing my legs in fear of a vacuum cleaner getting anywhere near my precious bits! I can just imagine the damn machine calling me: “Haaaarlot, ohhh looovey, let me hoooover around your coooochie...” *suck*suck*suck* Oh good lord, AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!
Oh, and oh ho ho, if you think that this couldn’t get any weirder, check this out:
I say, the only rug that requires vacuuming are the ones on the floor. And, please, let’s leave wanking with household appliances to the boys. :/
Related: Labels: cock fetish, kinky lifestyle, sex and the bitches, youtubery
I want to know if I’m the only woman here that finds men with bushy pubes totally gross. I have a problem with hair in general, to be honest, so I know I definitely take it a tad too far—as with most things LOL—but, really, what is the need to have hair down there? What purpose does it serve?!?
I googled it and this is what I found:
Functions of hair: Hair performs a variety of functions. Some are listed below:- Form an insulating coat on the body; trap a layer of still air just outside the skin, and thereby reduce loss of heat by radiation.
- Absorb harmful radiations from the sun.
- Axillary and pubic hair lessen friction between limbs and body, and between limbs during locomotion.
- Protect from sun and rain.
- Prevent water from entering into skin.
- Defend the body in danger, by standing on their ends, thereby making the body look bigger.
- Help to disguise by blending with the color of the surroundings, to escape the watchful eyes of natural enemies.
It looks as if most of these “uses” are either for people that stroll around naked in the wilderness (all that protecting from sun, rain, friction between limbs, WTF?), or for Indiana Jones. He’s the only one I can think of who might want to disguise himself by “blending with color, to escape watchful eyes of natural enemies.” *confused*
Doesn’t it seem that keeping hair long, to the point that you can get dreadlocks around your penis and scrotum, is completely useless? And yet the benefits of trimming, waxing and shaving are so many I don’t even know where to start. It’s a wonder to me why men are still going around like hairy apes.
Here are some reasons why men should consider letting go of the “bush”:
Cleanliness. The crotch is a focal point for heat, sweat, and bacteria. Cropping or removing your pubic hair makes that area much easier to keep clean, and more importantly, smelling clean and manly. She’s more likely to explore that area up close if it’s well maintained.
It’s more inviting. If you remove most or all of her objections to performing oral sex on you, isn’t it worth the trouble? Pay special attention to removing stray hairs from your shaft. Hair in the mouth sucks, but she won’t if she finds one.
Don’t forget the scrotum. A woman’s body is playground of softness and smoothness, so don’t you think she’ll appreciate the same on you? A silky smooth ball sack invites both manual and oral caresses. She’s far more likely to play down there if she doesn’t have to use a weed-whacker to find it.
And most importantly (to some at least): It makes your erection look huge. I’m not kidding—you will swear that you gained at least an extra inch in length! If your crotch is not groomed regularly, you probably have pubic hair at least part way up your shaft. Your penis “appears” to begin where that pubic hair ends. Remove the underbrush and your hidden length will be revealed.
In my case, there is no way in hell I’m blowing a guy who’s hair practically reaches his cock’s head. Actually, I’m not even getting close to that thing for fear of what might live in there!
If you are scared of waxing but want more than a trim, check out this guide to “shaving pubic hair” and this very informative and funny video Harlot found for me.
Don’t think I’m letting bushy ladies of the hook either, I’ll be back with something for us too!Labels: cock fetish, kinky lifestyle
I was looking for some
Eric Bana pictures—you know, just because *g* (oh, shut up!)—when I found this:
Lordy, am I the only one staring at that
enormous penis—I mean codpiece? Honestly, I’ve never seen anything so... big. Tee-hee. Well, I’m not the only who has a dirty mind, you ingrates. *hmph*
Scarlett Johansson struggled while acting with co-star Eric Bana in new movie The Other Boleyn Girl—she couldn’t stop looking at his private parts.
Bana who plays Henry VIII in the movie, had to wear a codpiece for the part a decorative flap used to cover male genitalia in medieval England, and it proved to be too much of a distraction for Johansson.
Johansson, who plays Mary Boleyn in the film, says, “We’d be ready to do a scene and I couldn’t look at anything else. I won’t get over that codpiece for a long time.”
“Eric would use it as a tool. He would rest his hands or a cup of coffee on it. People would even lead him around the set by it.”
I don’t know how I lived without hearing about this juicy news (particularly since it involves EB’s privates) but now that I do, I’m suddenly overcome with the need to get a job on
TOBG’s movie set. Could I pritti please apply with the official job title as “Eric Bana’s Harloty Codpiece Holder”? :P Seriously, I’ll be happy to polish EB’s codpiece for him. Ohhh, I can just imagine my days full of EB’s codpiece... choosing between common or
“bologna” codpiece, egg-shaped or
“huevos rancheros,” be-ribboned or
“foofy,” armored or
“sausage o’ steel”... ay mama mia... *so far-away look* *sigh*
Er, anyhoodles LOL, since I’m a complete perv, here’s a close-up of EB’s codpiece—just because this is the kind of ooh-la-la delight that deserves to be significantly featured by us Bitches. ;)
Labels: bitch at the movies, cock fetish, fucking around
“It’s a very ancient saying, but a true and honest thought
That if you become a teacher by your pupils you’ll be taught.
As a teacher I’ve been learning, you’ll forgive me if I boast
And I’ve now become an expert on the subject I like most.
Getting to know you ME.”
- The King and I
Rule #1 in the Romance Novel Writing Handbook clearly states: “When the H&H do the horizontal polka, they must both climax in epic proportions.” This decree seems to come with the unwritten addendum “... this shall happen without the slightest effort.” How I wish these rules applied in the real world. *sigh*
Let’s talk about orgasms then. Anyone opposed shall speak now or forever hold their peace or, um, maybe just stop reading and find another blog for the day? LOL *g* I should probably make something clear first: I’m not a sexpert so if you expect me to give some uber techniques to help you sky-rocket off, er, sorry, not gonna happen. You might want to check out Dr. Ruth Westheimer’s site for that, then come back and share with us. :P
I believe that romance novels give women false expectations in many ways. I do think that having heroines come left, right and all the way in between shows us that it is as much our right to orgasm as it is a man’s. As Samantha from SATC said, when you RSVP to a party, you should make it your business to come. It is unacceptable for women to not achieve orgasms during sex—or worse, *gasp* not to have ever had one! (God forbid!) And yet romance books mostly center around women coming with men and almost never by themselves (actually, can’t remember reading about a self-exploratory heroine :/).
Why, I wonder, are men always responsible for the girl’s orgasm in romance books? Isn’t it time we start seeing heroines take a more active role in achieving their own pleasure? Making sure they polish themselves off if Superman looses his powers, is too drunk to come through, burns his tongue with hot soup and is unable to use it for a day or two—or the very common, flies off the handle too early?
Up to a point, I understand it’s easy to hold men responsible because, let’s face it, a good number of them are only concerned in attaining their own orgasms without helping you obtain yours. Fuckers. What’s more, there are Neanderthals who believe things like the G-spot are a myth to make blokes work harder (honestly, boys). The fact is, we somehow forget that sex is between two people (unless you’re in an orgy :P); it’s not something that you do to another person, it’s something you do TOGETHER, not just ONE giving ANOTHER ecstasy.
There was a time I didn’t always “sail on a golden cloud” when I had sex. I questioned whether my then BF was a lousy lover seeing as he left me hornier than a teenager in a strip club. :S I was confused and doubted myself because whereas I was clumsy, he felt wonderful; still, most of the time, I wouldn’t freaking come. *sniff* What was I doing wrong? Why me? Ye gods, why why why?!?
That’s when I started reading and researching the subject, and while in my noble quest realized that most authors and experts always came to the same conclusions:- thou shall love your body and the way you look
- thou shall treat yourself like an amusement park; it is not “sinful”; it’s normal, fun and quite entertaining *g*
- with practice and optimism, thou shall be able to “soar into an infinity of delight” quickly and easily
When I found out how easy it was to give myself pleasure, I felt robbed! All those times I didn’t climax and didn’t know what to do while he always felt blissful afterwards—how un-fucking-fair! I couldn’t blame him though because it’s me who was uncomfortable with asserting my needs. I’d freak out every time he wanted to go down on me *blush* (give me a break, I was 18 and new at it!); I was embarrassed to ask him to do this or to do that—and honestly, I just didn’t know my own body. :/
Women can’t expect to have orgasms when they’re unfamiliar with their OWN body. If you YOURSELF don’t know what turns you on, how do you expect your partner to know? He probably won’t. This is why I strongly advocate masturbation. When women get to know what works for them their confidence increases. A woman who’s in touch with her body is more likely to grab her lover’s hand/head/throbbing spear of love and put it between her legs in just the right place than someone who doesn’t masturbate. She’ll have no problem reaching there herself with her very own agile hands which will serve a double purpose: reaching the one hundred yard line AND driving her man crazy. *wink*
Anyhoodles, this is what I’m trying to say: if you have difficulty climaxing, go fiddle with yourself LOL. Become familiar with what turns you on. Practice makes perfect and all that. Not only will you enjoy sex more, but your partner will too. What man doesn’t want to feel a woman come? Over his fingers, under his tongue, around his cock... That means, YOU BOTH WIN. So, ladies, if you’re like me and LOVE orgasms, what are you waiting for? Get busy, and get your fingers sticky. ;)
**Refers to a song by The Divinyls
Related: Labels: cock fetish, sex and the bitches
Last night I was reading
Connie Brockway’s
As You Desire. CB is one of my top authors and I simply love her fantastic stories. Of course
AYD is no different. It’s fun, funny, witty, with sizzling sexual tension—and it’s set in Egypt, yay! Verra exotic. *g* I like the heroine (Dizzy Carlisle) enough but unfortunately for her, the hero—Harry Braxton *sigh*—has a personality that overwhelms her.
I luuuuve Harry. He is everything that many other romance heroes are not. If you look at the back of the book, the blurb refers to him as this “notorious rake who came with a warning: lover, beware...” Rubbish.
Harry isn’t a rake at all. Yes, he’s opportunistic at times (with his profession, he has to be) but he’s a principled man. He’s very masculine yet sensitive. He’s the type who will change your flat tire—or, in this case, offer you his shiny camel. He kicks ass for the woman he loves. I mean, really, he adores her. *sigh* My kind of man. With his tousled hair and rumpled clothes, Harry is absolutely lovable. *double sigh* Why why WHY then, when I was in the middle of the book, did I find myself looking for Jack Seward, the dark, dangerous, oh-so-dirty hero of All Through the Night? :/
I put down AYD and looked for ATTN. (Oh, Harry, don’t hate me! *sniff*) I was looking for about two minutes and was getting mad that I couldn’t find my copy when I realized I sent it to Trollop! Oh fuck, fuck, fuck.
What is it with these dark heroes? I tried to go back reading AYD but I kept thinking of Jack. Granted Jack isn’t like the chest-beating bodice-ripper baboons of yore yet he—unlike dearest Harry—is far from being noble!
Oh god, what is wrong with me? :S (Don’t answer that!) Has that ever happened to you? I already have this wonderful man who will bring me soup when I’m sick and I’m longing for someone deadly who’ll join my heated body and tie me to a chair and ravish me when I’m dying of fever!Labels: cock fetish, for the love of rakes and rogues, romance baby
Goodness. Did you know that U.K.’s bookseller Waterstone’s, realizing that fans will be distressed and hysterical (translation: emotional trauma of staggering proportions!) when
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows comes out on July 21st, is
setting up a HELPLINE?
“This could be a similar moment to when Take That split up,” said a spokesperson.
I don’t know about you, but I haven’t even read HP7 and I’m already getting nutty. Okay, NUTTIER. (Jeez, I sound like a peanut butter ad or something. :/) Er, anyway, see what I mean? I’m right, aren’t I? Told ya,
J.K. Rowling’s idea of fun is torturing her fans,
that sadistic cruel witch! *sniff* Even so, since December of last year, HP7 has already been at the top of bestseller list both in the U.S. and U.K., thanks to the large number of pre-orders, while the Deluxe Edition occupies the no. 2 slot. I KNOW!
Speaking of Harry, you guys have probably seen the naked pics of Daniel Radcliffe for his work in Peter Shaffer’s Equus, a 1975 Tony Award for Best Play, or what some pedophilic creepoids now call “That Play Where Harry Potter Takes His Pants Off and Stabs a Horse’s Eye Out.” Eheh. :/
Daniel will be doing a Full Monty, blinding some horses and shagging a girl on stage, that some parents were angered about it, and many newspapers falsely reported that Warner Bros was furious with Daniel and was planning to sack him. However, a WB spokesperson has denied these claims:
“Daniel Radcliffe is an extremely talented actor, as well as a great collaborator and friend to Warner Bros. Pictures,” the spokesperson explained. “We’ve had great experiences working with him on our films and fully support him in the artistic choices he makes as an actor.”
Equus will open at the Gielgud Theatre on Tuesday (February 27), but those who were lucky enough to see the preview last Friday were raving about it. Not his penis, you dirty pervs! LOL His acting, sheesh. In any case, it caused so much buzz that producers are already considering it for Broadway.
You know, I’d love to see Equus. I mean I’m still not used to seeing Daniel like this—I guess, somehow, I’ll always remember him as this little boy—but really, jolly good for Daniel. He’s branching out; he can’t play Harry Potter forever—even though he will ALWAYS be Harry Potter. Besides, can you see another actor playing Harry? No fucking way. Daniel IS Harry and unless he breaks his contract, it’ll be ridiculously stupid for WB to replace him with a brand new one who has no genitals whatsoever. Uh-mm. Also, I’m not a parent, yet in some way I guess I understand their concern, but really, would you rather prefer Hagrid doing something with his cock? Oh god, the horror! *shudder* *gag* I bet parents would even ask Daniel to use his metal spikes and stab their eyes out! Mine too!!!Labels: celebs crap, cock fetish, harry potter nutter
When I was a little heathen and thought the most beautiful man I’d ever seen was Prince Phillip from
Sleeping Beauty, there was no doubt in my mind that I’d grow up with “gold of sunshine in my hair” and “lips that shame the red, red rose”** and I’d sing so beautifully that Prince Charming would do ANYTHING to climb into my chamber, tee hee :P—to bestow a magical kiss upon my red, red rosy lips, you pervs. Sadly, I didn’t see a little glitch; of all the stupid jokes nature could play on me, I didn’t get the bloody gift of song!!! *sob* I guess that’s why my dream... well, it hasn’t happened... YET. (IT WILL HAPPEN, as heaven is my witness! It’s just... taking it’s time, ya know? Good things come to those who wait and all that crap.)
It must seem silly that I love this Disney film. I don’t even like Aurora and her perfect hair to be honest, (especially when she has Prince Phillip, lucky witch!) but there’s something about
Sleeping Beauty that makes me want to believe in fairy tales. Of course the presence of Aunt Flora, Fauna and Merryweather help, but mostly, I think... it’s the singing...
Did you notice that love and music come together, like a horse and carriage? Er, or is that love and marriage? Anyway, for example: whenever you’re humming/singing during breakfast, someone will accuse you of total hogwash like “you got laid last night!” or *gasp* “you’re in love, aren’t you?!” Is it because of the saying when you’re in love you hear the music in your heart?—or some sappy rubbish like that? Hmmm... “I made it through the wilderness... Somehow I made it through... Didn’t know how lost I was... Until I found you...” *ahem* Where were we? LOL, right. Music. And, yeah, romance too.
In 1810 E.T.A. Hoffmann called Mozart, Haydn and Beethoven the three “Romantic Composers,” and Ludwig Spohr used the term “good Romantic style” to apply to parts of Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony. As I’m not a fan of classical music, I won’t even pretend I get it. Nevertheless, there’s also opera—and what can be more “romanticizing” than opera? Just imagine the lead is about to end her life by hara-kiri because her lover turns out to be the gay serial killer who strangled her beloved cat, yet despite all that she still sings!!! This, crying, beaten and heart-broken, and still in fucking perfect pitch. Honestly... what a show-off BITCH. Hmph!
Ohhh, this reminds me of Ann Patchett’s Bel Canto. Roxane I-can-sing-anything Coss is such an uber magnificent opera singer that men fawn all over her. Of course, lets not forget I’m referring to the “perfect” novel with the terrorists-loving idiot honchos. (“Perfect” meaning imperfections like reality aren’t allowed in the story. *snort* Except for shingles—IIICK!)
I’m not saying it’s far-fetched that everyone fell for Diva Roxy. Of course not. Why, I used to have a crush on one of our local band vocalist even if he was a crack addict and looked like he needed a good bath—but who cared about that when he looked uber hot whenever he performed? Oh, c’mon, don’t tell me you haven’t had a thing for a rather plain bloke who can fiddle his guitar like a sexy maniac. :P Just look at Marilyn Manson (not that I find him sexy, though he is a maniac :/). Who in their fucking right mind would shack up with that horrendous prince of doom? Apparently, the 19-year-old Evan Rachel Wood would.
Whatever the case, freak leader of the undead or not, chicks dig musicians. That’s why every bloke wants to be in a band because even if you look like Mick Jagger, crazy fangirls (*cough* Trollop *cough*) throw their undies in the stage with their number written on the crotch, in the hope that the rocker might pick it up.
Is this what Hoffmann meant when he said music is “the most Romantic of all the arts”? If Prince Phillip hadn’t hear Aurora sing, would he have found her in the woods? More importantly, would he have fallen in love with her? And what if he hadn’t, does that mean she’d been left in her tower sleeping forever?
In Louis de Bernières’s Captain Corelli’s Mandolin, Dr. Iannis said that love is “what is left when the passion is gone.” I couldn’t help but wonder, given that music is unadulterated passion, is this why we need and crave music in our lives, to help us hold on to love and life when passion fades?
To see more “guitar photos,” click here. ;)
**Quotes from songs in Sleeping Beauty.
Related: Labels: cock fetish, fuckalicious, sex and the bitches
