Saturday, February 4, 2006

Learning to live with VD


No, not venereal disease—god forbid! *shudder* I’m referring to Valentine’s Day. Yeah, as you can see everywhere (TV, shops, malls, etc) it’s that time of the year again, the month of February.

I have to admit I’m not big on celebrating Valentine’s Day. I believe it’s one of those holidays created by shrewd flower sellers to trick morons, high on the mind-altering substance packed into Cupid’s arrow, to spend a fortune on bloody (and totally unimaginative) red roses. Yuck! Besides, who wants flowers when you can have chocolate and oral sex? And put your hands together for this one: chocolate during oral sex. Double the yumm, double the fun! *wink*

Really, who needs a specific day to commemorate love when you can do it any time of the year, any time of the day or night, in any place, and better even, in any position? You can do it bend over or tied up, dressed as a kinky nurse or a depraved librarian, being ravished between rows and rows of books... Er, where was I? Oh, right, back to love LOL. Well, as I’ve said, love doesn’t need a reason to be celebrated, as no one can suppress love when it wants to be heard. You have few choices in the matter: you either holler back, or spend the rest of your life being tortured by a force no one can restrain.

I think, even through a simple look, you can convey you’re crazy about someone; a simple touch is all you need to utter the depth of your feelings; the smallest of gestures can tell you how far a person is willing to go with and for you. I actually prefer those than words without meaning or half-assed signs or stupid flowers that will only die.

I’m no expert but I do know that love is not perfect. It doesn’t fit in a heart-shaped box and it’s not red and white; it takes all shapes and sizes and comes in all the colors of the rainbow. Can you imagine how boring love were if we patterned it after Valentine’s Day? A little naked, chubby, ugly, bald man with a heart in one hand and a bow in the other (Cupid is so gay BTW), forcing people to give candy and flowers to each other. The horror! If love were this way, global suicide rates would be higher than those of anorexic models in the Victoria’s Secret fashion shows.

Love... nothing is more exciting or grander than it. Definitely not perfect.

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11 comment(s):

Anonymous Serendipity said...

OMG! Someone shot those people!

2/05/2006 01:32:00 AM  

Blogger asdf said...

I could not agree more.

2/05/2006 01:50:00 AM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

I like any day of the year where I get presents. Not big on VD (not valentine's day and definately NOT veneral deseases). Now, any guy that comes near me with roses is getting dumped. Cheap-ass mother fucker. I want REAL presents, nothing I can eat or will die. And yes, I'm a materialistic bitch lol.

2/05/2006 09:50:00 AM  

Anonymous Simi said...

Love what you write :)
And this one's both sassy ;P and profound

Love is certainly not perfect...where's the fun in that

2/05/2006 02:46:00 PM  

Anonymous Ann said...

I agree! But I will say Valentine's Day is a fun holiday for children, getting and giving those little valentines with the little candy hearts. Now that's cute. But after a certain age it's not so cute any more.
But I do enjoy the little valentine's card my grandma sends us ever since she eloped a few years ago. She's been struck by that crazy cupid freak!

2/05/2006 03:49:00 PM  

Anonymous Serendipity said...

Now that you mentioned kids...I got the loveliest heart-shaped card from my 7-year old! It says I am the best Mommy the the "hol wid world! Luv you frever!"

Now, that I do not mind.

2/05/2006 07:11:00 PM  

Anonymous Tart said...

I think VD is a bigger deal in the US than here in NZ. Sure, you get cards and the florists suddenly increase the prices of roses by 500% but it's much more low key and I've never heard of any school acknowledgement or class activities that entail kids making cards. That's really weird and somewhat stupid. I'd rather have my kid, I don't know, learn about the world than make a crappy card :D

When I've had a BF I've never really made a big deal of VD. I'd prefer him to make surprise romantic gestures at other times, not just because Hallmark/Godiva tells him too LOL.

2/05/2006 09:54:00 PM  

Blogger jaxieknight said...

Well, VD will be a bust here gals, so the pic os the guy was a definate WOOHOO!!! (omgoodness, am I blushing??)

Hey, check out this link:
http://www.retrogalaxy.com/romance-novels.asp
Bad romance covers is a taught art.
Guys on some of these covers are all about the "girls" (wink).
And, I would just like to know what the crap is a "Hotenanny Nurse" is...

2/06/2006 09:25:00 AM  

Blogger jaxieknight said...

Just to be clear gals... I was appreciative of the THANK YOU PIC... WHEW! The guys in the Val's D's diapers were too desperate for words.

2/06/2006 09:46:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Oh Jaxie, Trollop will love these! She lives for this kind of romance covers! LOL

Thanks for the link. :D

Btw have no idea what a Hootenanny Nurse is. Whatever she is, i pity her patients as she's obviously blind. Have you seen that guy with the guitar? Ack. I don't care if he "brought a new song to her heart." He has orange hair and orange skin! Surely he's in the hospital for some suspicious reasons. Probably VD. And this time i mean the disease.. :S

Hootenanny nurse needs to buy an ipod now as a substitute. She'll need it when her hootepatient is already deceased. :S

2/06/2006 01:01:00 PM  

Blogger jaxieknight said...

LOL! But, if she fell for an orange skinned guy, I think she'll need to pass up the ipod for awhile until her vision improves!

2/07/2006 12:41:00 AM