Monday, May 28, 2007

A picture is worth a hundred blurbs

You guys remember Trollop’s post about her quest for a sheikh? Now, have any of you been able to forget this bloody ridiculous *snigger* poster?



Some very dubious heathens questioned if we’d made that poster up (like we’d do such a thing!). And of course, Trollop, to wash her hands off any guilt, threw me to the lions and suggested that I—innocent in all of it *innocent sniffles*—was the reason behind such attack to the eyes and the senses:


“Harlot was nice enough to find that pic for me. Though for all that is good and sacred I don’t know what she thinks I’m looking for in these Sheikh books. Whatever it is though it will not be a guy with a turban wearing more makeup than a ho who apparently was clawed by a lion! Not even that, he’s not even the Sheikh, just the son! I will not be fooled by impostors!”


For the record, I resent implications that my agenda is to make fun of magical oh-so-glorious sheikhs! *hmph* Honestly, (as Danielle has put it) who wouldn’t want a son of a sheikh named Rudolph Valentino? :/ But then, it started a storm of questions: Why does the sheikh—I’m sorry, *ahem* I mean the son of the sheikh—has deep gashes on his chest? Why is he glaring at the poor lass? Why is the lassie kneeling? Is she praying? Oh lordy, praying for what? Gack, what what?!?

Curious Bitches that we are, Trollop and I wanted to know the answer as well, heh. We considered asking sheikh lovahs who’ve seen this 1926 silent film what the story was behind the picture. But, hmmm... what if we made our own story instead? :D Mm-hmm. That is, with the help of our lovely readers!

Alright then. Put on your thinking turbans and imagine this is a book cover art instead of a movie poster. If you were to make a synopsis for a romance novel out of it, what would the blurb say? *g*

Here’s another poster that will shame Fabio and every strand of his frizzy hair. *muahhaha* Between The Son of the Sheik and La Fille Sauvage (me thinks it means “Dead Woman Hanging” :/), you get the opportunity of a lifetime! Yep, that’s right, you get to choose one of these posters and write a blurb for it and then, for the love of clawed makeup-loony sheikhs, share with us, you wenches! :P



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26 comment(s):

Blogger Petra said...

Ok let me give this a try. I've been reading romance for years, that should come in handy. LOL.


To escape the clutches of poverty, Galatea made a bargain with the devil, Eduardo, the ruthless bastard son of the sheik. She will be his mistress, in name only, and he will pay off her debts.

Eduardo saw Galatea as his way to hurt his father. He didn't expect the spunky woman who tames lions would tame his heart as well. Despite their bargain, he vowed to have her in his bed.

No matter how hard she resisted, Galatea was drawn to the handsome man who calls himself her master. She knew he wanted her body, but she wanted more from him than the passion he has offered - his love! Will he trust her with his heart?

5/28/2007 03:07:00 PM  

Blogger Petra said...

BBs, I hope I'm not making a fool of myself by asking, what does "Tucker for Mayor: More of the Same" mean? I thought you were advertising something. I didn't know that would lead me to the continuation of the post. I keep hitting the comment link instead. LOL

5/28/2007 03:13:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Petra, are you picturing Eduardo Corrochio while writing? :P Love your blurb!

Oh, sorry for the confusion, ladies. For those of you who have yet to read JC's Welcome To Temptation, "Tucker for Mayor: More of the Same!" is Phin's slogan. Trollop and i just thought it was really funny. Anyway, instead of "READ MORE" (or "OHHH MORE MORE MORE!" which we have on our eye candy section) we're using Phin's slogan instead. More of the same.. LOL Jenny Crusie cracks me up!

5/28/2007 04:28:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

La Fille Sauvage (I think that's savage woman? LOL)

Maria de los santos rodriguez Garcia desperately needed a job (and a better wig) but she had no skills to call her own except for playing dead, which came in handy when debtors showed up to collect what they were owed.

Juan Jose Smith needed a woman who could pretend to be dead and listen to conversations at the morgue where he was trying to capture Dr. Organ, an evil thief who dealt in the traficking of stolen organs.

One man with a passion and one woman without money meet and all else is forgotten...

5/28/2007 05:12:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

This is for La Fille Sausage:

Dizzy Von Ditz, rich, beautiful and spoiled--she grew up like a princess in her father's mansion. She has always gotten everything she wanted in life, perhaps the reason why she's bored with it. Enter Dr. Micky Mayo, a doctor who specializes in sleeping disorder. Handsome, intelligent and for the first time in Dizzy's life, someone who doesn't seem to be affected by her beauty or her wealth.

Dizzy is intrigued by Dr. Drool-Worthy, as she calls him. She has flirted like a nympho in heat, yet the elusive doctor made her feel she's not worth his attention; all that matters to the maddening man is his research, damn him! That's when it hit her--how could she not think of it before? Of course! Why, she will offer herself as his subject study by pretending she's been suffering from narcolepsy! :D

5/28/2007 06:12:00 PM  

Blogger Danielle De Barbarac said...

LOL, these are great! I'll think of something and will be back with my own synopsis...
PS. I was wondering about "more of the same" too. I knew I read that somewhere!

5/28/2007 07:04:00 PM  

Blogger Danielle De Barbarac said...

This is fun, BBs :D

"The Son of the Sheik"

THE THIEF. Calipso Merry has always been a con artist and a thief. So when Prince Kazam found her in a situation which involved a stolen necklace, she pretended innocence.

THE PRINCE. Kazam Abdul has never met a woman like Calipso. There's something different about her... After saving her from an angry mob of circus performers, even though he knew so little about her, she has bewitched him... he decided to marry her.

THE DECEPTION. It seemed like a great idea at the time to marry the son of the sheik. Calipso got the protection and money she has always coveted. It never occurred to her however, that she would fall in love...

What is she going to do? What will he do if he finds out that she has been lying to him? She can't take the risk of losing her beloved Kazam....

5/28/2007 07:28:00 PM  

Anonymous Lindsey said...

I can't think of a good synopsis right now. I may have to come back later. I really like the ones you gals have posted - they are all funny. Good job all.

re: Tucker For Mayor

Petra, I hope it's not a foolish question because I was going to ask the same thing :)
Harlot, thanks for clarifying that :)
Trollop, I lol with your 'I will not be fooled by impostors' reply!

5/28/2007 09:03:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Danielle,
That's a good one too. "Angry mob of circus performers" heh. :P


Lindsey,
Of course it's not a foolish question. :) We should have mentioned it really, forgot that some folks have yet to read WTT.

Anyway, from now on we're going to use Tucker (LOL, dunno what to call it) on our longer posts, especially those that have too many pics. That way, our pages won't look cluttered and it'll be faster to load. ;)

5/28/2007 09:17:00 PM  

Anonymous Lindsey said...

Harlot, I think "Tucker" is good ;-)

Le Fille Sauvage

Anjelina John's life revolves around the stage. She is known for her acting skills, from the inner circle of the ton to the lowly vendors in the streets of London. She is a most celebrated beauty with a secret that, if known, could destroy her career.

Bradley Pin is a powerful member of the Bow Street Runners. Ruthless and unforgiving, he has a mission: to expose Angelina's dark secret.

With Bradley posing as an up and coming theatre performer, he becomes closer to Angelina. Every day, he knows she is falling in love with him... but he never counted on falling in love with her. He's still determined to know her secret and discover the truth. But as his love for her grows, he's torn between his duty and his feelings for a woman who tempts him beyond all reason...

(I'm not good at this, lol but it's fun.)

5/28/2007 10:41:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

Oh come on Lindsey, what's angelina's secret? LOL Does she suffer from narcolepsia? is she really a dead body that can walk during night time? Does she have a bone debilitating desease that can't hold her up? WHAT? WHAT? LOL I want to know why she's all over that guy in the pic!

Danielle,

Angry mob of circus performers LOL LOL LOL Is that how he got those gashes?

5/29/2007 04:30:00 AM  

Anonymous Diana said...

Peggy Joe detests her life as a hair stylist. Burning off half her hair trying to color it a nice shade of red is the last straw. She needs a new profesion and she knows it.

Kazam Jarrif needs a tamer for his collection of wild lions. He never thought he would find it in the odd American with the burned yellow hair. After she pleads with him to be given a chance, and he sees the dire circumstances she's in, he gives in.

Little did he know she would soon be eaten alive...

5/29/2007 06:28:00 AM  

Blogger Mailyn said...

I can't stop laughing at the first poster and that's because I remember seeing some of Valentino's movies. They are a hoot if you are ever in need of a pick me up. LOL.

5/29/2007 11:51:00 AM  

Anonymous Lola Lovegood said...

These are funny! LMAO

She's eaten by a pack of wild lions? ROTFL That would be a great ending for a romance novel. Why haven't authors thought of that?

Will think of something and get back to you bitches LMAO

5/29/2007 12:14:00 PM  

Blogger Jordis Juice said...

Ha ha, those are funny!

BTW, I think Rudolph Valentino is hot! LMAO

5/29/2007 04:29:00 PM  

Anonymous Lindsey said...

Trollop, Anjelina's secret is.... you really want to know...? Perhaps you want to wait for the book? lol.

She's a man :P

5/29/2007 10:19:00 PM  

Blogger Jolie said...

LMAO! A lion tamer, a girl with no skills except playing dead, a spoiled princess with narcolepsy, mob of circus performers and a hair stylist? Which one I should read first? LOL

Lidnsey, I especially like your synopsis. ;)

5/29/2007 10:44:00 PM  

Blogger Isabella said...

I love those posters! Too funny. LOL

Anyway, I was reading this yesterday and I couldn't stop laughing. Here's my synopsis for the second poster:

Sterling Fuller, the Earl of Rooster, has been in seclusion since he came back from France. Tormented by the memories of war and a friend who died in his behalf, he prefers being alone. Until, to his surprise, he is suddenly named the guardian of a young lady, Jezebel Moon.

A spirited woman who doesn't like convention, Jezebel has her own evils to tend to. She hates the Earl, the reason why her beloved brother is dead. Vowing to get revenge, she sets to seduce the Earl and then destroy his name...

5/29/2007 11:16:00 PM  

Blogger Lollie Rose said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

5/29/2007 11:53:00 PM  

Blogger Lollie Rose said...

The Son of the Sheik poster is hilarious!

Here's my blurb for it:

Ferrie Fish had a horrible accident. She couldn't remember anything but the handsome young man who rescued her from being trampled by angry camels.

The last thing KK Kadir needs is a woman who has lost her mind and decided that he is the mythical Desert God. He deliberately let himself get clawed by lions to show her that he bleeds like any mortal man but the daft woman is firm with her misguided devotion of him.

He can't just leave her to die in the desert - what is he to do?!

5/29/2007 11:59:00 PM  

Blogger Lorelei said...

Wait a minute, he got clawed on purpose? How insufferable is this daft woman?

You ladies crack me up. Great job all. lmao!

5/30/2007 01:15:00 AM  

Blogger Danielle De Barbarac said...

OMG, someone's been eaten by lions, the other, trampled by camels. Is this the influence of the son of the sheik? You ladies are all blood thirsty! Too funny! LMAO

5/30/2007 10:48:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

You people crack me up!

Wonder if any of these books would sell. I'd buy the one with the heroine that was eaten by lions and the one where she turns out to be a man! LOL Oh imagine if we could have her both be a man and be eaten by lions, or trampled by camels! LOL

5/31/2007 12:02:00 PM  

Blogger Ladybug said...

"Oh imagine if we could have her both be a man and be eaten by lions, or trampled by camels!"

I've been reading the comments on this thread and you ladies crack me up! The entries are so original if it were made into books, no doubt it'd be sensational! LOL

5/31/2007 06:40:00 PM  

Blogger Lily Moon said...

Yasmin has but one dream: to marry the son of the sheik. But her rendezvous with royalty is interrupted when her wretched stepmom brings her to the desert where she has to fend off lions and bears and trampling camels...

Prince Farhat yearns to break free. He'd come a long way from the boy who grew up as his father's whipping post. But destiny has another plan for him: on his way to Marrakech, while in disguise as a camel hearder, he falls in love with a stubborn chit who is obsessed with marrying the son of the sheik! Yasmin could be his undoing!

5/31/2007 09:52:00 PM  

Anonymous Shenshi said...

OMG HAHAHAHAHA!

6/12/2007 03:09:00 AM