Tuesday, May 8, 2007

The sheikh and I

For some time now, I’ve wanted to read about sheikhs and deserts. I know I could’ve blogged about it and gotten one or two recommendations from you lovely ladies, but shame prevented me from doing so LOL. Hence, I recently started an online quest to find just the right novel for my taste.

I wasn’t exactly sure what I wanted, but I did know what I didn’t: bloody widow virgins and stupid secret babies. I thought that would, without a doubt, narrow down the categories to a point were I could choose a book without difficulty. Boy, let me tell you, I was W.R.O.N.G. wrong! There are a gazillion types of sheikh books filed into twelve major plots and themes. Yep, TWELVE. Who would’ve thought sheikh’s could be so versatile? LOL
  • Abducted by the Enemy!
  • Amnesia
  • Angry Sheikhs
  • Babies and Child Rescue
  • Historical Tales
  • Kidnapped by a Handsome Sheikh
  • Marriages of Convenience
  • Meddling Family Members
  • Quickie Weddings
  • Reunions with Former Lovers
  • Royal Unions
  • Sheikhs Fearing Commitment
Now I find myself wondering from which category I should pick. Abducted by the Enemy (exclamation mark?), Amnesia, Angry Sheikhs (I don’t even want to know what the hell that’s about), Babies and Child Rescue *gag* and Sheikhs Fearing Commitment are out. I don’t think I’ll be reading about any of those things. They sound positively stupid and I’d be very surprised if any author could really make such ridiculous plots work. See for yourself in this blurb, which I deduce is a mixture of virgin imbecile with either Abducted by the Enemy(!!!) or Meddling Family Members:

Prince al Drac’ar al Karim (Drax), Sheikh of Dhurahn, must find a pure and innocent bride for his brother... and Englishwoman Sadie Murry fits the bill perfectly.

After an altercation with her corrupt employer, Sadie finds herself stranded and jobless in the desert country of Zuran. So when Drax offers her a job in Dhurahn, she realizes she has little choice but to accept. Little does she know that the “job” is to become the wife of Drax’s brother.

Drax must make sure that Sadie is as virginal as she seems. And while he has her in his power, she is his to command... and he’ll test her wife-worthiness at every opportunity.

On the other hand, I wouldn’t mind reading about Kidnappings by a Handsome Sheikh *roar baby* and Historical Tales, given that they are accurate and make the minimum amount of sense. I wouldn’t be horribly opposed to reading about Marriages of Convenience or Royal Unions either.

So ladies, now that you know my disgraceful secret, won’t you pretty please help me out and recommend something worth reading? And don’t you dare pretend none of you have ever read a sheikh book, because according to The Chicago Tribune, these things sell like ice water in the desert. :P

Since 2000, the number of sheik romances published each year in North America has more than quadrupled.

That’s easy to explain, Susan Mallery tells our gumshoe. When it comes to sales, sheik romances “kick butt.” She should know. Over the past six years, Mallery, who lives in California, has published 10 sheik novels, each with press runs of more than 100,000.

During the 1990s, an average of four sheik romances were published annually in North America—compared to 17 a year since 2000.

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34 comment(s):

Blogger Harlot said...

Right now, with all this sheik talk, the one i remember is Connie Brockway's AS YOU DESIRE. I know, i know Harry isn't a sheik. Sheesh. It's the camels.. :/

5/08/2007 11:02:00 AM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

Oh, I liked that book. Loved all the Egiptian stuff and the digging lol Not sure if those are the technical terms!

5/08/2007 11:07:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Archeology. *rolls eyes*

Anyway, that synopsis is funny! It's understandable i guess. He has to make sure she is really really a virgin so he will be humping her "at every oppurtunity". Why, doing it all for his beloved brother of course!

5/08/2007 11:30:00 AM  

Blogger Vanessa said...

Loretta Chase's Captives of the Night! That is my favorite sheiks and desert romance, lol.

5/08/2007 11:58:00 AM  

Anonymous Lola Lovegood said...

Bitches, in that excerpt you posted, is the hero the brother or the guy that will make sure the heroine is a virgin? Wondering here, after he makes sure she hasn't been with no other LMAO what will he do? Will the brother take her like that and trust she used to be a virgin in the not so distant past?

Am I rambling? because I'm very confused, thought someone could explain. LOLLOLOLOL

5/08/2007 12:05:00 PM  

Anonymous Shosh said...

Diana Palmer has a Sheikh trilogy. They're pretty good, and also Laurie Paige.

I'd try them, predictablem but still fun.

5/08/2007 12:48:00 PM  

Blogger Ladybug said...

What about that Johanna Lindsey books Silver Angel? That falls under the category Kidnapped by a Handsome Sheikh.

Shosh, which Diana Palmer books are you referring to? I think she has written a lot of books with sheikhs and soldiers.

5/08/2007 01:15:00 PM  

Blogger Petra said...

What is that synopsis? LMAO

Let me get this straight. Drax finds his brother a wife. He wants to make sure that she is a virgin for his brother so he sleeps with her to know? What the hell?

5/08/2007 02:39:00 PM  

Blogger Polly King said...

Trollop, I can't recall if I have ever read a sheikh book but that poster is priceless. Are those scratches on his chest? She scratched him? LOL

5/08/2007 02:50:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

And now on her knees begging to scratch him again! I bet that includes "oh sheikh, my lord sheikh, harder harder!" or something. Heh. :P

5/08/2007 03:01:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

Polly, Harlot was nice enough to find that pic for me. Though for all that is good and sacred I don't know what she thinks I'm looking for in these Sheikh books. Whatever it is though it will not be a guy with a turban wearing more makeup than a ho' who apparently was clawed by a lion! Not even that, he's not even the Sheikh, just the son! I will not be fooled by impostors! LOL LOL LOL LOL

5/08/2007 03:11:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

LOL! Well, the Sheikh is already old and can't get it up and therefore will die soon for lack of sex. The Son of the Sheikh will inherit everything!

For what it's worth, that poster is the real thing. :P

5/08/2007 03:33:00 PM  

Blogger Polly King said...

LMFAO! You two crack me up!

It never occurred to me that it could be a lion. Maybe the woman is part tigress!

5/08/2007 04:06:00 PM  

Anonymous tinkerbell said...

I read a couple of Susan Mallery's books with sheiks. Some of them are good. There are princess, virgins, kidnapped heroines... You might find something you'd like.

5/08/2007 04:23:00 PM  

Blogger Danielle De Barbarac said...

You two! LOL! I'm not sure about you ladies but I actually like that poster. Who wouldn't want a Son of Sheik named Rudolf Valentino? ;)

5/08/2007 05:19:00 PM  

Blogger Danielle De Barbarac said...

BTW, Ladybug mentioned Johanna Lindsey. I remember another sheik book of hers, Captive Bride.

5/08/2007 05:22:00 PM  

Blogger Anne said...

I LOVE sheiks! Susan Mallery and Kristi Gold are THE best sheik storytellers. LOVE EM!

5/08/2007 06:06:00 PM  

Blogger Lorelei said...

I've read some Susan Mallery books as well. Not exactly bad but some of them are too predictable.

What book is that synopsis from? It's funny, lol.

5/08/2007 07:44:00 PM  

Blogger Jordis said...

"Whatever it is though it will not be a guy with a turban wearing more makeup than a ho' who apparently was clawed by a lion! Not even that, he's not even the Sheikh, just the son! I will not be fooled by impostors!"

Trollop LMAO!

Is it bad that I actually saw this silent film? I have to say, The Son of the Sheik is hot. Ha! Not kidding! Really he's hot!

5/08/2007 08:48:00 PM  

Blogger Jordis said...

Ok I found a picture. See for yourselves:

(let's hope the link will work)
Ahmed, The Son of the Sheik

5/08/2007 08:53:00 PM  

Blogger Jordis said...

Oh did I mention Rudolph Valentino was Italian born. Harlot, you'll love this guy. ;)

5/08/2007 08:57:00 PM  

Anonymous malicious strumpet said...

I'm not a huge Sheik fan, myself. I don't know why - just doesn't really intrigue me. But I hope you find just the book you are looking for, Trollop!


5/08/2007 09:39:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not a fan of them myself. Read a couple years ago, but can't remember the titles even now. So forgettable. Also, when you see the real ones on TV it kind of puts you off. Haven't seen a goodlooking one yet! lol!

5/09/2007 02:57:00 AM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

Aggie, so true, those real life sheikhs are hiddeous to say the least!!!!!!

And Jolie, gotta say gorgeous, though I love you and all, you have horrible taste!!!!!! LOL LOL LOL That Valentino man is scary. He wears more makeup than I do!

5/09/2007 08:16:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Jordis, i've never seen a movie of this Valentino dude. I gotta say, he looks a lot better on that pic compare to the scary poster LOL. He's no Cary Grant though. :P

5/09/2007 08:51:00 AM  

Blogger Rachel said...

Trollop, Susan Mallery has some good sheik books!

5/09/2007 02:27:00 PM  

Blogger Jolie said...

Sheiks never appealed to me. I think it's the beard and the turban, what a turn off, LOL. Anyway, hope you get the book you're looking for Trollop. If you're lucky, maybe you'll get a Sheik who has a collection of camels. ;)

5/09/2007 02:45:00 PM  

Anonymous Ollenska said...

OMG laughing here because of that kooky synopsis! That has got to be a joke! And that movie poster! lol! I love the way the woman is kneeling as if she's praying or begging while the man is staring her down showing her his chest! Brilliant!


5/09/2007 03:26:00 PM  

Anonymous ~Cassie~ said...

Trollop, Desert Warrior by Nalini Singh! The sheik is very sexy and the story is exotic. I loved it.

5/09/2007 07:53:00 PM  

Blogger Jordis said...

Gasp! BBs, how could you not like The Son of Sheik? How could you not like Rudolph Valentino?

And here I thought just the name would do it....

5/10/2007 03:50:00 PM  

Anonymous Chiqui said...

Hahaha, that book blurb is funny! I recommend Susan Mallery... she writes good sheikh books.

5/10/2007 07:26:00 PM  

Anonymous Lola Lovegood said...

The more I read that blurb the more confused I get. What the hell? LMAO

5/11/2007 12:08:00 AM  

Blogger Putita said...

Valentino is, without a doubt, the scariest sheik I have ever seen. What the fuck are those chest gashes for? Does it turns the praying virgin on?

5/11/2007 11:13:00 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

There are many Harlequin Presents authors who write from time to time "sheikh" books.....Lucy Monroe, Sandra Marton, Jane Porter, Kate Walker, Trish Morey, Annie West, Michelle Reid, Liz Fielding and on and on......but what the hell, fun, sexy and entertaining if you want dark, brooding and sex in the hot desert sun!

5/14/2007 10:09:00 PM