I’m not even sure why I’m writing about this book; you all know I only write about books I either HATE or LOVE.
Though I can’t say I loved this book I was rather entertained by it. It’s wonderfully light-hearted and uncomplicated. No ridiculous plots or schemes. No stupid misunderstandings. For some reason it reminded me of
Julia Quinn’s earlier writing style; a lot of funny moments, witty dialogue and pleasant characters, simple plot, sexy encounters, and tons of “coincidental” meetings between the H/H.
I found myself grinning during some scenes and laughing during others. It’s almost like an episode of the
Bachelor adapted to the Regency period. I can honestly say I found the simplicity of this novel refreshing.
If you have an afternoon off one of these weekends curl up and read this book. Don’t expect a masterpiece but enjoy it for what it is: a fun regency frolic with delightful characters and an embarrassing cover LOL.
To Snare a Bride...
To Gabriel Devine, Duke of Wolverest, the bonds of marriage are nothing more than shackles. But if he’s to remain a lifelong bachelor, that leaves only his younger brother to carry on the family name. Inviting the ton’s most eligible ladies to an elegant ball, Gabriel is certain any one of them would be all too eager to become the next duchess and provide an heir—leaving Gabriel to continue his ecstatic pursuit of pleasure.
To Catch a Rogue...
Her social-climbing stepmother would give anything to have Madelyn Haywood betrothed to a future duke. But Madelyn believes the brothers Devine to be nothing more than heartless rogues—especially Gabriel, whose rakish reputation precedes him. He is nothing more than a slave to passion, and she will not be conquered by his caresses —and yet his wicked ways tempt her so...
Labels: for the love of rakes and rogues, romance baby
I’m very confused. Why is it that, in historicals—though the heroine wears gloves and the hero wears 10 layers of clothing—whenever the heroine touches him she can “feel” his heat? These people have thick barriers between their actual skins. Are these men all suffering from fevers, do you suppose?
Labels: for the love of rakes and rogues, romance baby
I’m currently reading—and by currently I mean sneaking in reads at work!—
When the Duke Returns by
Eloisa James. This novel is part of the
“Desperate Duchesses” series. I read the previous three books and really enjoyed them. The truth is, to me, Eloisa James can do no wrong (just remember, she isn’t a straight-romance writer, more like a Shakespeare meets romance kinda gal).
I’m on the eighth chapter of
WTR and I can’t remember the last time I enjoyed a book this much; I am LOVING the characters and the story line.
I hope no one develops a case of the stupid or a double personality disorder like it happens in so many books or else I’ll have to jump out a window!
Related: Labels: for the love of rakes and rogues, romance baby
I’m not sure how I came upon
The Winter Garden by
Adele Ashworth. It’s been sitting in my ebook reader for months which is a usual occurrence for me, even more so now that my titles are lost inside the ebookwise. At least before I could see the physical copies in my TBR and remember to read whichever book. Now, I don’t even have that to remind me, but that’s a topic for another post (oh my, I can feel your excitement and eagerness for that one LOL).
I’m about one quarter into the book and enjoying it immensely. I am especially enthralled by the enormous amount of sexual tension between the main characters. Mamasita! Their banter is so hot I’m thinking of reading with a bag of ice on my privates LOL.
Adele Ashworth’s writing makes me feel Thomas and Madeleine’s powerful desire and passionate need; time and time again she leaves me (and the characters!) pending from this incredibly sensual precipice. It’s such an intense feeling I wish it would last till the end of the novel; who needs consummation when you can have this great anticipation?
If the book turns out to be exceptionally good or astoundingly bad you know I’ll blog it. If it’s just in between you’ll probably never see me mention it again, like hundreds others. Because really, what’s more boring than a review of a meh book?
Labels: for the love of rakes and rogues
I can’t remember the most recent time I closed a book with a satisfied sigh. You know the kind of story, the ones that leave you wanting more and won’t let you concentrate on any other book for days because you are still thinking/dreaming about it?
I believe the last book I read that left me with that blissful I-want-more feeling was either
Bet Me or
Welcome to Temptation both by
Jennifer Crusie. I honestly can’t recall exactly when this was, but suffice it to say it was definitely over 3 years ago. Or maybe it was
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix? That might actually be more accurate but it’s unfair to compare
HP with anything else so we’ll leave
J.K. Rowling aside for this post.
I don’t know why I find it was easier to come across good reads before. Or perhaps it was just because the romance genre was new to me so I had a pile of fabulous must-read books to get through? I recall when I first read
Paradise and
Almost Heaven; I couldn’t believe how wonderful
Judith McNaught was and how much she made me care for her characters and story line. Same thing with my first
Susan Elizabeth Phillips read,
Lady Be Good; not only did I fall head-over-heels in love with Emma and Kenny but I laughed so much at their antics my tummy ached.
It’s sad to say that none of these authors’ latest books have done anything for me. The only writer I can count on always delivering is
Marian Keyes. Yes,
Sushi for Beginners and
The Other Side of the Story weren’t up to her usual standards but, hot-damn, even those are great. I’m saving myself for
This Charming Man, her newest, like a virgin in a regency novel LOL. I really, really want to read it but at the same time can’t bring myself to because what awaits for me after that?
I’m in a sad state of affairs where romance novels are concerned. I need, more than ever, book recommendations. And not just plain old good. I want have-me-sitting-at-the-edge-of-my-sit-leaves-you-with-a-hangover good!
Labels: bibliophile’s affair, contemporary por amor, dame judith mcnaught, for the love of rakes and rogues, harry potter nutter
I’ve been looking for an ebook copy of
The Duke of Shadows by
Meredith Duran for the last two days and can’t find one. *sniff* It seems that none of the online stores I use have it.
Someone at Dear Author added an ebook link to the S&S website but it takes you nowhere (after clicking a gazillion links, that is *grrr*).
No idea why I’m so obsessed with getting this book. It might be because somehow the plot reminds me of
Paradise by
Judith McNaught which is my favorite romance ever.
Also, I haven’t read a single book since I finished that stupid
Robin Schone book. Gad, what a horror to read that book was. ACKKKKKKKKKKKK!
As an added bonus I’ll link a very bad video I made of the book LOL. Er, and when I say very bad I mean exactly that.
Labels: bitchy mcrant, dame judith mcnaught, for the love of rakes and rogues
Disclaimer: This is my opinion based on someone’s comment on a BB I frequently visit, love and enjoy. This is not—and should be not taken—as a personal jibe towards the person that made the comment. These types of discussions are really not welcomed at FABB, which, I understand and respect so I decided to post my thoughts here. I value and like the person that made the comment; my views just differ from her on this subject. True?Some of you might remember
this post I wrote when I finished reading
Dreaming of You by
Lisa Kleypas a couple of years ago. Rereading my post, it seems I didn’t think the book was all that bad, and yet, for some reason, I believe I hated it LOL. Weird how memory does this to you.
Anyhoodles, all I can remember of the book is:
- Hero has sex with a prostitute while pretending it’s the heroine.
- Heroine dresses up as woman of ill repute to entice hero to have sex with her;
dim-witted. Hero “falls” for her scam, doesn’t recognize her *snort* and proceeds to “almost” take her flower. (Yes, I can see clearly now why I believe I hate this book; God what rubbish this plot is.)
- Heroine, who is in love with a country-bumpkin, goes back home to him—after almost giving her flower to prostitute-shagging hero—and tries to seduce him. (I can’t remember why country-bumpkin refused to have sex with her. Some idiotic reason I’m sure.)
- Hero carries heroine’s glasses inside his pockets for months. (I need to know if sane people actually go around doing stuff like that. I’d run and hide from any guy that kept, say, a dirty sock of mine in his pockets.)
- Heroine bumps into prostitute-shagging hero at some party a week after trying to have sex with country-bumpkin and, lo and behold, realizes she’s in love with him! Be still my heart!
This is someone’s comment about the having-sex-with-a-prostitute-pretending-it’s-the-woman-you-love thing:
The hero, Derek Craven, sleep with the prostitute (Tabitha) pretending it’s the heroine, Sara. It was a very poigniant (sp?) moment because it shows how desperate Derek was for Sara, but he still had enough respect for her to not ruin her “lily-white life.”
I’m sorry, but: What. The. Fuck?
I’m a firm believer that
humans aren’t born to be monogamous, but that monogamy is learned in civilized society (and hey, I’m all for civilized society LOL). I also believe that sex without love is just sex, very different from the merging of two minds, bodies and souls in love.
Now, what I don’t get is the respect and poignant part. Because he respected her he fucked other women? Color me damn confused but I’d rather no respect at all than that “poignant” kind of “respect.” I’d easier forgive someone for cheating on me because he wanted to or was attracted to someone else than tolerate that “I respect you, therefore I shag others” BS.
I must be missing something here but this Derek dude was nothing but a manhandling bully that fell for stupid disguises, had sex with prostitutes and kept other’s rubbish in his pockets. Really, people, hardly the description of a man women swoon over.
Labels: bitchy mcrant, for the love of rakes and rogues, romance baby
Almost two years ago I wrote a post titled “
The Big Cock Theory.” I was in the midst of reading
Passion by
Lisa Valdez and I was shocked (shocked!) about the number of times Mrs. Valdez mentioned the hero’s huge penis and subsequently huge testicles. Mark Randolph Hawkmore’s
cock was like his sidekick, practically a character in the book!
I understood that 10.5 inches was big, however, I don’t think I could honestly get my mind around *just* how big. I suppose I imagined Mark
“hung” like a porn star or something similar—but never this! At this moment all I know is that whatever idea I had was nothing compared to the
reality of a BIG cock.
(Click at your own peril! Images soooooooo not work-safe!)
Jonah Falcon’s penis is 9.5 inches flaccid, 13.5 inches erect. Tense your forearm. Now wrap your hand around the middle of the muscle. That is the girth of Falcon’s erection. Those who have witnessed it describe it as “grotesque,” “gorgeous,” “hideous” and “stunning.” Falcon, who stands five foot nine, thinks his penis is perfectly formed, with a fifteen-degree downward curvature at the six-inch mark and absent the blotching, lumpiness and sudden bends that mark some oversize sex organs.
His balls are proportionately huge, each the size of a grade-A jumbo egg. When erect, Falcon’s penis generates enough heat to warm hands—campfire style—from a distance of six inches.
That, right there, is fucking scary! This thing could light your hoohaa on fire, cinder your pubic hair (though, it’d serve you right for not waxing it off!), and give you third degree burns. It probably glows in the dark—a good item to own in a blackout.
Falcon packs his penis to the left and buttons his pants. The human brain needs several seconds to reconcile the sight. His dick stretches across his pelvis and settles against his outer thigh. The head of Falcon’s organ rises in unmistakable relief from beneath the fabric. His balls, especially when he pushes them up as he does today, look like the wide, oval eyes ascribed to Martians in popular drawings.
I’m bowled over by the images this description is placing in my mind. 9.5 inches flaccid? Balls the size of jumbo eggs? As thick as a forearm? I’m scared witless that I’ll ever have to encounter such a penis. I’ll never be able to look at another man now and not wonder what monster he’s hiding under those nice tailored pants.
If this dude and I were stranded on an island, I’d castrate him the minute he’d tried to use that rod for anything other than hammering, drilling holes in the sand or fishing!
Now, click here to read “The Big Cock Theory.” *g*Labels: cock fetish, for the love of rakes and rogues, sex and the bitches, some like it hot
I hate it when I have high hopes for a book and end up terribly disappointed. The reviews for
The Charm School at Amazon are great: out of sixty-two only one is a 1 star and four are 2 stars. The rest are above 3 stars with most being 5.
My only explanation for this is that these books were ONLY sold at a convention for the blind or the terminally insane? Honestly, no words can describe how bad and horribly mundane this book is. In all of 400 pages we get:
- a secret baby
- a dead but not really dead (because he comes back in the end) hero
- an ugly duckling heroine turned swan
- an evil step-brother
- a sub-plot on freeing slaves *yawn*
- boring sex high on pot (or something akin to it)
- hero with long red hair (ACKKKK! This is a no no in my book. These men always end up looking like clowns in my head. I can’t keep from imagining them wearing one of those big frizzy wigs Bozo the Clown puts on.)
But wait, folks, that’s not all. If you order now they’ll also include:
- A virgin who lets the hero take all her clothes off and jumps in naked into a lake with him and all but shags him senseless—which was so out of character for both the hero and heroine. (I had to go back and make sure there hadn’t been a printing problem and I wasn’t reading a chapter from another book!)
- The ever oh-so-handsome-yet-dimwitted-guy ugly heroines always seem to fall for, who in the end—heroine having become a raving beauty—never ever recognize them, and then profess their undying love for and always ask for their hands in marriage. And, of course, the heroine finally sees them for the idiots they are and realize that they’ve loved the hero all along. *gag*
- And last but not least, a hero who has random sex with prostitutes any time he can he get his hands on one—and then goes and tells heroine. *head-desk*
I could go on and on and on but my point will be the same in the end: this book is absurd beyond words. It’s more like a Mexican telenovela starring Thalia than a romance novel; one ridiculous plot after the next.
And to think I bought all the books in Susan Wiggs’s “Calhoun Whatsis” series. There is no way in hell I’ll read the rest. And you know how much that says seeing as I’ll read anything no matter how bad.
And that’s all I have to say about that.Labels: for the love of rakes and rogues, romance baby
I stayed up till the early hours of the morning to finish
Enchanting Pleasures by
Eloisa James; it’s been a long time since I’ve done that with a book. I really enjoyed the story and the characters. I thought it was well written, entertaining and slightly different than your normal historical. Besides the
Whitney-My-Lovish constant misunderstandings, I thought it was splendid.
Now, besides the little annoyances that most—if not all—romance novels usually provoke in me, I found that Ms. James use of the word “scratch” when referring to someone
knocking a door really got on my nerves.
There was a scratch at her door. Gabby hastily scrubbed at the tearstains on her cheeks and stood up.
To his relief, Quill heard a scratching at the door.
Margaret scratched on the door and Gabby snatched it open.
I mean, what the fuck? Are these characters dogs or people? Who’s even heard of such a thing? WHO SCRATCHES DOORS??!?!?!?! Why would you claw at a door when it usually makes your teeth hurt, besides just knowing that you could lose a couple of nails in the process! Also, I very much doubt anyone inside would hear the “scratching” so it's quite pointless to begin with (unless you were that
guy with the claws in, er, in that whatsis paranormal I read earlier this year).
What was up with that?
Labels: for the love of rakes and rogues, romance baby
On a happier note, compared to my earlier post at least, I read my first Sarah McCarty, “Promises” something or other. (I just finished this novel but by gad I’ve never met anyone who had more trouble remembering book titles than me! *groan*)
The book was H.O.T. hot. I had the jimmy fingers throughout the whole thing. My BF enjoyed the frequent update calls on what the “dirty book people” were up to LOL. Ms. McCarty even managed to make anal sex sound sexy and fun. Who knew?
I have promised the BF we’ll be reading my next SM together. Will tell you how that little experiment goes. *g*
Labels: for the love of rakes and rogues, some like it hot
I just read my first
Laura Lee Guhrke novel,
And Then He Kissed Her. I’m pretty sure I’d never heard of this author, though for some reason her name is somewhat familiar? *confused*
It’s been a long time since I’ve come upon a book with so much unfulfilled potential. I don’t know how, or when, it started turning into a heap of repetitive garbage. I loved the first half of the book. Absolutely loved it. I even—misguidedly, I admit—recommended it to Harlot and told her to buy it ASAP (don’t kill me, babe LOL) but the second half... I don’t even know how to explain it because I am truly baffled. There were great characters, clever writing, an engaging story, witty dialogue... HOW DID IT GO SO WRONG?
By the time it got to the part when he kissed her I couldn’t give two hoots. I started skimming over the rest. The sex scenes were particularly horrid; very mechanic and unimagined. I’m thinking, and there’s like a 0.001% chance that I might be wrong here, that an Amish virgin could’ve written something equally “passionate.”
I hated that she became his mistress and how they started spending every weekend on some cottage in the woods or whatever; it was really out of character for both of them! And I need someone to explain to me when, exactly, did these people fall in love? The lust part I sort of very loosely got, but the falling in love? Maybe I missed a chapter or two?
Labels: for the love of rakes and rogues
We got a lovely email from Jen, one of our darling readers. She wants to know if we could recommend a book similar to
Passion by Lisa Valdez.
I’m not a big erotica reader (that meaning I’ve read all of one and it was
Passion LOL) so I thought I’d turn over the request to you, guys. How about if we give her a hand? *g*
Hey ladies.
Thanks for the refreshing site. I so enjoy it. Sadly, I’m so out of touch with all things computer, blog, etc. that I don’t understand a lot of what I read. Pathetic, I know. But, I keep coming back, cuz you're both so funny and I’ve gotten good ideas from you. By the way, I LOVED the men in kilts link you once had, but can’t figure out how to find it again. That was fantastic.
Another good discovery from your site... Lisa Valdez. Can’t remember if y’all liked her writing, or not. But, I was so tickled with Passion. Lisa didn’t worry about my “delicate sensibilities” when choosing her words (cunt, cock, etc) or coming up with hot, slick and DETAILED love scenes—well, porn. But, perhaps more importantly, she had enough of a good story (intriguing characters, dialogue, romance) to keep me interested. In the past, I’ve only found good sex... or good story. Not both.
Problem is, I can’t find any more books by Lisa. Can either of you recommend another historical romance author I might enjoy? I figure you’d know best!
Related: Labels: for the love of rakes and rogues, romance baby, some like it hot
Short post to say I really enjoyed
Devil in Winter by Lisa Kleypas.
I’ve read some of her stuff before and wasn’t all that impressed, to be honest, but this book was different. I absolutely loved the hero. He has some of the best dialogue I’ve encountered in a romance book. I like that he’s depraved, shameless and totally honest about marrying the heroine only for money. I thought it was refreshing that he wasn’t embarrassed about being in financial ruin.
I got this recommendation from the girls over at The Book Binge. They were having a discussion (of sorts) on who was a better hero: Derek or Sebastian? I thought I’d never heard of either but Holly made Sebastian St. Vincent sound so sexy I just had to read his story *g*, and seeing as I have most of Kleypas’ books in my TBR (misguided judgment on my part, I’ll tell you right now LOL) I went ahead and started.
I am so glad I didn’t find out the Derek they were referring to was that guy from, er, whatever that Kleypas book was. You know, the hero had a casino and she was a teacher? Well, whatever. All I know is he was a nasty piece of work who had sex with a prostitute; she was an idiot and someone burned a building down (maybe the prostitute?).
Still confused why they were even comparing these two characters, except maybe for the fact they were both written by LK? Who knows? I’m just happy I gave Devil in Winter a chance because it was verra good!Labels: for the love of rakes and rogues
I’ve been very, very busy. Moving to another continent, trying to set up my wireless connection and fucking up the whole DSL thing and now using a stolen Wi-Fi signal until I can figure out what the hell I did wrong with my router. *confused*
Anywho, in the mean time I decided to read a bit; such a treat to have a “real” book after a year of not having anything but ebooks available to me. In my TBR I found
Midnight Angel by
Lisa Kleypas which I have no recollection of ordering or buying. I had no idea where this book came from until a couple of chapters into the story: Kleypas sneakily lets us know the hero has a hook instead of a hand. *head-desk* And then, of course, I knew. This book could not have come from anyone but
Harlot who likes to torture me with weird heroes who are either abusive, abused, disabled or crippled in some horrible way that she KNOWS will ruin any story for me. *grrr*
She’s on familiar terms with my obsessive pet-peeve about leaving a book unfinished once I’ve started it no matter how bad it is (I’ve been reading
David Copperfield since 1996 and I’ll finish it even if it takes me a lifetime and a page a year *sigh*). Luckily this book wasn’t ALL that bad. Funnily enough I liked Hook better than I did the heroine, but my favorite storyline in the novel was that of Emma, the hero’s daughter, and Prince Nikolas, the heroine’s Russian cousin. I googled them, and not surprisingly, found that they have their own story which I immediately got as an ebook. *sigh* Good thing
I’ll be getting my ebookwise soon. *g*
Related: Labels: for the love of rakes and rogues
Harlot nagged me forever to write this post after we saw it in a romance bulletin board a couple of months ago. I just remembered about it realizing that the idea of a hero having M/M sex in
Lover Unbound didn’t disturb me as much as it has in the past. Could it be just this one book or am I forever cured? Because I can tell you this is a big NO NO for me. That’s one of the reasons
I loathed Outlander. It has the most disturbing scene I’ve ever read in a romance novel: rape and M/M, really bad combo.
Last year we had a post with our romance no no’s. You know, things that really upset us in books and which we try to stay away from. Now, I want to know which book you’ve read has been the most disturbing to you and why. I want the name of the book and the author because we’re going to trash those books, baby! LOL Well, we don’t have to be that mean, but feel free to trample over any book that caused you to go ICK and kept you from sleeping!
I will not mention Outlander again (but you guys already know how I feel about that aberration called a romance novel!) but will leave you with a review for Stormfire by Christine Monson, which Harlot just luuurves *g*:
Sean Culhane wants to avenge his family and countrymen by kidnapping the daughter of his enemy. Catherine Enderly is kidnapped on her way to school by Liam Culhane. When she arrives at the Culhane’s estate in Ireland, she is immediately beaten (Trollop: brutally) and raped (viciously) by Sean. Soon Catherine is put to work and almost starved to death. Sean soon realizes how beautiful his captive is and decides to make Catherine his mistress (how gallant of him! *snort*). Though at first Sean has to take Catherine by force (rape is what that’s called, btw), he and Catherine soon have an uneasy truce.
Catherine realizes that she can escape by marrying Sean’s brother Liam (what an idiot this woman is). When Sean finds out that Catherine married Liam (who, btw, also rapes her!!!!!), he goes crazy (because he wasn’t before?!?!). Not only does Sean cut off all of Catherines hair (huh?), he rapes her again and gives her to his men (gang bang, anyone?). Eventually, Sean hands over Catherine’s welfare to his mistress who locks Catherine in a cell and starves her. (Huh, again? Or maybe a WTF would be better suited for this part. Oh, and let’s not forget the stillborn fetus she has inside for fucking months!)
When Sean discovers what happened to Catherine he saves her (ohhh, how sweet). Soon, Sean’s hatred for Catherine goads a pregnant Catherine into almost committing suicide (what took her so long? LOL). Realizing what he has done to Catherine, Sean spends years trying to make things up to her. Eventually, they find love but again events come between them. Liam comes back for Catherine and tells her that she and Sean are brother and sister (this is about the part I almost cracked my head open manically hitting myself over and over with the book).
After Liam’s murder, Sean and Catherine sail to France. There, they both must come to terms with their incestuous relationship (UGHH). To save Sean and her baby, Catherine becomes mistress to a French prince and marries a French general in Napoleons’ army (again a mistress?). Sean becomes a solider in the army and after four years returns to Catherine to take their son to America. Fighting their love because they think it is incestuous, they find out that Liam lied about the relationship and live happily ever after.
Labels: contemporary por amor, die outlander die, for the love of rakes and rogues, paranormal oh joy, romance baby
Lately I’m kinda losing faith on something important and for some reason, I find reading medieval romances to be my beacon of light. I suppose it’s all those unforgettable studly knights when chivalry and honor still prevail, causes are noble, quests are fulfilling, and the love of a woman is precious and forever.
There is something about the Middle Ages that is perfect for romance. Castles, pageants, tournaments, bard’s tales and colorful pennants everywhere... Bold knights on their stomping steeds, beautiful damsels/ladies with embroidered gowns and long braided hair, wizards and witches brew ale, dragons are real and a frog could really be a charming prince... Well, you can’t say it couldn’t be! *hmph*
I just started Madeline Hunter’s By Possession; liking it so far. Last week I reread Jill Barnett’s medieval trilogy: Wonderful, Wild and Wicked. (Read them only once years ago and for shame that I’d forgotten how funny these books were.) Then, I read Elizabeth Lowell’s Untamed and yesterday finished Penelope Williamson’s Keeper of the Dream.
Oh, my good Xenu, how do I love KOTD? Let me count the ways... I love it to the depth and breath and... oh, fuck it. Just put it this way: I ABSOLUTELY agree with Julie Garwood when she said that it’s “one of the most beautiful love stories I’ve ever read.” If you won’t listen to me, listen to her. ;)
But truly, what a beautiful, BEE-YOO-TIFUL story. *sigh* It made me laugh (out loud, aye) and cry (like a crazy girl, aye—well, I am that but—ah get with it!) and, ohhh man, I swear I loooooved every fucking minute of it.** It has EVERYTHING I’ve ever wanted in a medieval love story and more. Er, heh, that sounds like a song but true nonetheless. It’s exceptional and exciting, delightful and different, very entertaining, GLORIOUS in every way... It’s one of the best damn books I’ve read in a long time. KOTD is definitely a MUST read.
Now, speaking of Garwood, did you know that her new book, Shadow Music, is a medieval? I haven’t been a good Harlot lately so I don’t know what I did to deserve this but OH MY OH MY OH MY SQUEEEE! :D (Never did like her contemporaries. :/) According to her website (for crying out loud, it’s in flash and fucking hard to navigate!):
Brodick Buchanan, the hero of Ransom will play a key role in the story. Our new hero, Colm MacHugh, is a close ally to the Buchanans, and both Brodick and Colm share a common dislike for the MacKenna clan, especially when it comes to the future of a beautiful woman named Gabrielle.
**I loved Keeper of the Dream so much that it now rivals JM’s A Kingdom of Dreams as the best medieval romance in my harloty heart. Aye. Never thought that could happen.Labels: for the love of rakes and rogues, romance baby
Trollop’s confession of being a hero snob (and proud of it—for shame, I tell you!) reminded me of our talk months ago regarding
Loretta Chase’s
The Last Hellion and
Lord of Scoundrels. (I haven’t read either book—Trollop’s fault, really.)
Basically, she lurves Vere Mallory, the notorious Duke of Ainswood, because, well, he’s pretty. On the other hand, she UNlurves Sebastian Ballister, the notorious (they’re all notorious) Marquess of Dain, because he’s fugly like Britney Spears—who, if you haven’t heard, is now making a comeback with new “songs” that are every bit as horrifying as I’d expected with lyrics like: “I’m just the girl with the ability to drive a man crazy/
Make him come in my mouth/ Make him my new baby.” Yeah. Right. Fucking idiot. For the love of all that is pure and holy, someone brave needs to stab her in the heart with a silver cross!
Oh-ho-kay, where were we? Right. Hero snob. So! Since I’m lazy, hee, here are the screencaps (from my trusty MSGR history :D) of that conversation I mentioned above. (Again, apologies for the typos; Trollop’s in purple, me in green.)
I’m not a hero snob as well, am I? *sniff* Oh, c’mon! That Evil Woman Trollop tells me Sebastian is known as Beezlebub and ugly-UGLEEE like Quasimodo and you expect me to oooh and aaahh over him??? Give me a fucking break!
I’m curious though, because this isn’t the first time I heard LOS is “like, the best romance E-VAH.” I don’t know how romancing Beezlebub Quasimodo can top lovin’ Matt “Harlot’s One & Only Uber True Love” Farrell (MATT. IS. MINE. *glaring*) but hey, to each her own. :P But then again, maybe I shouldn’t factor Trollop’s judgment on this since she’s a shameless hero snob. Hmmm... Now I’m conflicted. :/
Those who have read LOS, is it as bad as Trollop says it is, or is it really the BESTEST romance in the land? Did you like Dain less (or the book itself) because he could give The Elephant Man a run for his money? Promithe, I won’t call you a hero snob (outloud *cough*) if you did... Labels: britney fucking spears, for the love of rakes and rogues, romance baby
The main reason I read romance novels is the fantasy, and I don’t know about you guys, but crippled men who cheat and were raped as children are never part of
my fantasies.
I hate romance novels with imperfect characters. Any mention of
body parts that are missing, horribly disfigured or not working properly and odds are I’ll put the book down right away or take an immense dislike to it on the spot. Harlot says I’m a hero snob—and maybe I am—but what exactly is attractive about a poor, down on his luck guy who’s left eye is missing and has a wooden leg? Call me shallow if you want—and I know most will—but heroes on that side of “real” totally ruin the romance for me.
This is one of the only things Harlot and I
bitch slap each other silly over cordially disagree on (that and
Shunra cheaters). All her favorite books—which she has not only recommended but also bought and shipped to me—have hideously maimed guys. That, or they are poor—and honestly, I don’t know which is worse!
That man from
Gaelen Foley’s
Princess, for example, was raped by a priest or something equally nefarious when he was a wee lad. Hated the book.
The other one (what was that book again, Harlot?)
with the hero that was trying to capture a thief and was in love with a “lady” who then ended up being the thief LOL. He had a badly crippled hand. Now, there was a scene (or two?) in which he masturbates. UGHHH! I had nightmares for days about his wrinkled crippled fingers groping his penis. Something right out of
Tales from the Crypt!
And today, what can I tell you? I started reading the “Crazy” series by
Tara Janzen and what do I find as I begin
Crazy Hot? A hero that limps and has some sort of shoulder problem. Please shoot me now or be kind enough to tell me this is a temporary condition and I won’t have to hobble my poor self through this book.
And I had such high hopes for this series. *sniff*
Related: Labels: bitchy mcrant, contemporary por amor, for the love of rakes and rogues, romance baby
Something verra verra fishy is going on with
Lisa Valdez’s
Patience. There are no updates on her site; the release date listed for
Patience is still August 2006. In case Ms. Valdez is Confunded by the Confundus Charm, it’s July 2007 already! But what boggles the mind is that they keep canceling the release date. First, August of last year, then last May—and now it’s been
totally erased from Amazon? WTF?
I actually enjoyed
Passion, the first installment in the series and—if this never ending delay continues—the only book by Ms. Valdez. To be honest, unlike many, I’m not loca over Mark and his popular big cock. God knows I’d run away and buckle myself with a chastity belt if he waggled his 10-inch heat-seeking moisture missile in front of me. *shiver* However, I have to commend Ms. Valdez. She pushed the romance envelop with that book—aye, she did. The same way Mark has pushed and pushed and PUSHED himself into Passion that
made me squirm and cross my legs real tight while pondering: *gasp* “Is that possible?” *shock* “His throbbing sword of fire made her vajayjay pop?!?” :S
Now, I don’t know what’s going on with Ms. Valdez; there are probably things beyond a writer’s control, but you have to admit, the irony of it all when she titled her second book Patience. Was that her way of cautioning her fans? *ahem* “Ye be warned. Be patient, humans.” Ohhh, ruthless! But that’s nothing compare to the sneak peek that was evilly-planted at the back of Passion.
The excerpt goes like this: Matthew and Patience left a dinner party. They started doing the hula and talking about things that made “Patience’s cunt throb with a deep, almost painful, craving; and the pulsing bud of flesh that always brought her pleasure tortured her now with its burning need for release. Every word he uttered inflamed her more, made her want him more.” I KNOW! But that’s not all! Matthew goes back to the party, leaving Patience naked and tied to his bed posts! *gasp* And then, and then... *breathe* END.
OH. COME. ON. What happened?!? Has Matthew brought a cucumber for Patience to, er, chomp on? (She admits she’d practiced with a cucumber after spying on her maid perform fellatio on their butler. :/) “Rarr... I want more cucumbers, Matthew.” *purrs* What, what in the butt? Ms. Valdez, how cruel! Cruel, I tell you!!!
If I’m reading this right, Matthew is as well-endowed as “big” brother Mark. And with all the mention of that damn cello, Matthew’s towering lance of lurve might not be the only huge instrument that would enter Patience. :S Or, perhaps more cucumbers? *confused* And what about Primrose? When would she experience the delights of zee cucumbers? Hmmmm... In any case, cello, cucumbers or dragon of desire writhing beneath Matthew’s tight-stretched trousers, we wouldn’t know now... would we?
Related: Labels: cock fetish, for the love of rakes and rogues, romance baby, some like it hot
