Trollop’s “The Big Cock Theory” article from last week, has become one of our most debated articles to date. As much as I and many of our readers loved and enjoyed it, both Trollop’s and my BF (and some other male visitors) questioned this figure regarding masturbation:
Average number of times he will ejaculate from masturbation: 2,000.
Apparently, that is tremendously low—low enough to cause some extreme rebuff from the ones who have penises, with a resounding retort that an average male will pass the 2,000 mark way before the end of puberty. I think they saw this as an insult of sorts? Well, honestly, forgive us non-cock owners!
You know, when Trollop was gathering facts and came upon the said stats, we both thought, “2,000? It can’t be that low...” We actually considered altering the figures, but since we couldn’t back them up with surveys and proper numbers (like the others we had presented), we decided to stick with the conducted study (albeit the wanking info being questionable LOL). Besides, we thought that if our readers called us on it, they could give their own opinions, based on their facts or their own reality, then we could all have a good discussion. *wink*
Now, since I’m a kinky bitch, *g* what was I to do but research more about this practice: the so called “joy of self-loving.” Well, you know, just for you guys. After all, what would I do with all that info? :P
According to history:
From the Sumerians, who invented the first written Western language, we find references to the Mesopotamian god Enki masturbating, his ejaculation filling the Tigris River with flowing water.
Male masturbation became an even more important image in ancient Egyptian cosmology... According to one major creation myth the god Atum appeared on the Primordial Mound out of the void of Nu. As the first “thing” in the midst of nothingness, Atum relieved his loneliness by masturbating. His ejaculation resulted in the appearance of the first god and goddess, Shu and Tefnut, who became the parents of all other elements of the world. An alternate version indicates that the god Ptah, architect of the universe, maintains cosmic order through continual masturbation.
OMG, LOL. With these kinds of fables, it’s no wonder masturbation was such a big taboo. Surely they didn’t want people creating rivers and nations left and right so they had to regulate the sperm production! Seriously, wanking-off created the earth??? Oh LOL!
In the 1700s and 1800s, masturbation was first associated with mental and physical deficiencies. In fact, over 60% of medical and mental illnesses were blamed on masturbation. It caused so much fear that *gasp* preventative measures were introduced just to stop it!
Here are some examples of anti-masturbation devices (I swear I’m NOT making this up!):
- Stephenson Spermatic Truss - Patented in 1876, this device placed the penis in a pouch, and then stretched and tied down between the legs, which made erection impossible. Stephenson changed his device slightly 21 years later, adding a metal hood under which the penis could move freely. Any erection would drive the penis against painful spikes.
- Bowen Device - This device was like a cup that was placed over the head of the penis and attached to pubic hair by chains and clips. When the wearer got an erection, the pubic hair would be plucked painfully and the wearer would have to respond.
Thankfully, in the 20th century, the idiots who called themselves specialists finally began questioning the stupidity of linking masturbation to illnesses. In 1948, the Kinsey Report showed that intercourse and masturbation were activities not only for procreation but also for pleasure. It turned many people to thinking that if the majority of the population masturbated, then why should anyone be ashamed of it?
Today, it’s generally accepted that masturbation is a common, safe and normal practice which occurs in some form or other, in most stages of life, from infancy to adulthood, in both males and females. That all the moronic myths aren’t true: it’s not evil nor harmful, it will most definitely not make you blind (Trollop can still see after all), insane, grow hair on your palms—neither is the imbecilic assumption that only the desperate for sex or those too ugly to “get any” are the only ones doing it. Otherwise, most people would be hairy, insane blind oafs!—because most people do it! In fact, many people masturbate throughout their lives whether they have a sexual partner or not.
Actually, watching your partner masturbate can be very, very sexy, and even helpful. A flicker there, a rub here, a stroke in just the right place... Watch and learn, I say. Nothing better than a wanking expert LOL.