Tuesday, May 23, 2006

I pity the fool

Unlike every pimply youth in the world, children between the ages of 8-12, horny old perverts and my BF, I never thought Britney Spears was: a) talented, b) pretty and/or, c) smarter than a raisin. There has also been, of course, the miniscule fact that for a singer, she can’t sing worth a damn. So yes, you’ve deduced correctly: I’ve never liked HER much. Now, her BODY is a whole other matter.

I remember the first time I saw the video for “I’m A Slave for You,” I was dumbstruck—and in such a jealous rage I almost combusted from the unfairness of it all! How could anyone be blessed with such a gorgeous body? To me, she looked like every woman should: slim and toned but with enough amount of curves in the right places so as to not look like a starving crack-head. And her abs? It is my belief they were chiseled by the gods themselves. *sigh*

I would go to bed every night bartering with the Lord, “Please God, if I wake up with Britney’s body tomorrow morning, I swear I will give a whole year’s salary to the poor.” Never happened (well, you’ve only to look at me to realize that LOL). I think, perhaps, my measly wagers where of little consequence to both God and the poor—especially because I AM the poor—so in reality I was going to keep the money myself LOL. Or maybe I was actually expected to diet AND exercise to look like her? *snort*

I don’t want to be mean, or hurtful or cruel (you see, that’s because I’m actually a very good bitch), but what the fuck has happened to her since then?** Is it the marriage to that gold-digging loser? Is it the fact that she’s been non-stop pregnant for the last two years? Or is it that, like most of us, she took her blessings for granted and lost them? Because if the latter is the case, she surely has enough money to get that amazing body of hers back! Come on, Britney, close that mouth and move that ass—get a lipo if you have to. You might also want to consider not giving birth every couple of months? Having a body like yours is the only reason I get up every morning. I expect you to get it back as soon as the next baby is out, and pretty please, stop buying your clothes at Salvation Army stores. Surely you can do better. DO NOT LET ME DOWN!

BTW, is anyone else starting to really pity her? It looks like her body isn’t the only messy thing in her life.

**Please save yourselves the hate mail. Yes, I am shallow, evil and twisted; and according to previous hate mail, the “seed of the devil.” LOL

Labels: , ,

29 comment(s):

Blogger Karen Scott said...

Pure trailer trash. This indeed proves that falling for the wrong guy is hazardous for one's health. Look at Whitney and Bobby.

5/23/2006 07:55:00 PM  

Blogger prunella jones said...

Britney didn't really look like that. That's the magic of airbrushing, baby.

5/23/2006 09:10:00 PM  

Blogger paint my cheeks red said...

omg is that her butt? lol

there is a god after all :)

5/23/2006 09:10:00 PM  

Anonymous Tazza said...

In a word ..........skank!

5/24/2006 12:34:00 AM  

Blogger Hamish and Leesha said...

And its not even as if you can she has been so busy looking after her child to take care of herself!!


5/24/2006 12:51:00 AM  

Blogger Hamish and Leesha said...

oops.. I meant to say "And its not even as if you can SAY....."


5/24/2006 12:52:00 AM  

Anonymous vanessa said...

Oops I did it again...

What a stupid bitch Britney is.

5/24/2006 01:08:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Never liked Britney. That voice. Yuck yuck yuck! For a "singer" she definitely can't sing. A woman being choked while trying to call for help sounds better than her.

5/24/2006 01:20:00 AM  

Blogger Serendipity said...

Motherhood is cruel to the body. It doesn't have to stay that way though...witness Kelly Ripa, and even I at after 3 children. All I had to do, work out regularly with a Nazi trainer. Oh, and 60 bucks per fucking hour of torture.

What happened to Britney? That's puzzling. She can afford a trainer, and a nanny while she's at the gym...so it must cost alot physically to be married to an asshole fuckwad.

As to talent...she's laughing all the way the bank. Talent-less that she was. Then again, money isn't everything.

5/24/2006 01:27:00 AM  

Anonymous nika said...

I want to say I'm sorry for Britney, but man, I'm just laughing. What an idiot.

5/24/2006 01:29:00 AM  

Anonymous hehesnort said...

I can't really say I feel sorry for Brit. I mean she let herself go to shit and it's her who is sticking with that fuck up of a husband she has. She is simply trash. I don't know if anyone saw that show of hers but she's just a pig. At least Whitney fucked up with drugs, Brit fucked up with babies, and that's sad because that poor kid has to grow up with those two for parents (that is if child services doesn't take them away first)

5/24/2006 01:43:00 AM  

Blogger C Bradshaw said...

Trailer trash. And that husband of hers... EEUUUWWWW

5/24/2006 01:47:00 AM  

Blogger Isabella said...

OMG that's just sad.

LOL, funny pictures though. Yes I'm a bitch too.

5/24/2006 03:00:00 AM  

Anonymous pixi said...

So much for the weight loss goals. Maybe this time Britney can use the stretch marks from her last pregnancy to add to the overall image of her exposed white-trash midriff during this one. Can't wait to see the cutoffs again. Nothing's hotter than trashy shorts on a pregnant woman.

5/24/2006 03:06:00 AM  

Anonymous jordan said...

Did you guys see Britney on David Letterman the other week? She announced her second pregnacy to Dave. Even Anna Nicole Smith looks better than her.

5/24/2006 04:17:00 AM  

Anonymous horny old goat said...

Any word yet on who is the father of this baby?

5/24/2006 07:02:00 AM  

Blogger lenguadefuego said...

ella no puede tener esa cola!!!!

5/24/2006 08:59:00 AM  

Blogger Petra said...

LOL horny old goat, that's funny!!!

5/24/2006 11:50:00 AM  

Blogger Lorelei said...

I'm not sure which is the bigger laughing stock, Tom Cruise or Britney Spears. What do you think? Sigh. And I used to love Tom.

5/24/2006 01:43:00 PM  

Blogger Gun_Wielding_Bitch said...

I can't feel bad for anyone who had the opportunity to have it all and stood by and helped it all go to shit. Her husband has to be laughing at all the shit he gets away with and her ex has to be laughing even harder.

I DESPISE the baby voice she uses when she is interviewed. I want to grab her by the throat and tell her like I do my 12-year-old sister, "You're a big girl, so talk like it!"

5/24/2006 02:57:00 PM  

Blogger Aggie said...

Ewwww Ugg Boots

5/24/2006 06:43:00 PM  

Anonymous turkey said...

All I have to say...is that she is the ugliest, stretched-out pregnant lady I've EVER seen. I bet she stinks up the maternity ward when she pops one out. Wash your vagina!!

5/24/2006 10:10:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh well what can I say...she's Britney afterall...aka the baby killer for now...motherhood is scary indeed...

5/25/2006 05:50:00 AM  

Blogger Sexy Sadie said...

Turkey: Brit consider herself too posh to push heslef, I bet she had a KZ.

5/25/2006 10:35:00 AM  

Blogger Amélie McBeal said...

I love my ass now

5/26/2006 10:38:00 PM  

Blogger NiVeK said...

yeah Britney definitely has a body of devil. USED TO. now she is pregnant AGAIN... oh god, when wil my HOT Britney be back?

5/27/2006 05:09:00 AM  

Blogger Mantis said...

I think Brit is an amazing woman... She deals with persecution daily and yet has not become bitter, or weak like most women.

5/27/2006 09:12:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Mantis, yes, must be hard to be under all that scrutiny. I don't care really LOL but if Britney is the amazing woman you say she is, then she should take care of herself. Also not endanger her child. :S

Anyway, welcome Mantis and all the other new posters. Hope you guys visit often. :)

5/27/2006 09:39:00 AM  

Blogger R2K said...

From hot to not...

5/29/2006 10:08:00 PM