Tuesday, May 23, 2006

I pity the fool

Unlike every pimply youth in the world, children between the ages of 8-12, horny old perverts and my BF, I never thought Britney Spears was: a) talented, b) pretty and/or, c) smarter than a raisin. There has also been, of course, the miniscule fact that for a singer, she can’t sing worth a damn. So yes, you’ve deduced correctly: I’ve never liked HER much. Now, her BODY is a whole other matter.

I remember the first time I saw the video for “I’m A Slave for You,” I was dumbstruck—and in such a jealous rage I almost combusted from the unfairness of it all! How could anyone be blessed with such a gorgeous body? To me, she looked like every woman should: slim and toned but with enough amount of curves in the right places so as to not look like a starving crack-head. And her abs? It is my belief they were chiseled by the gods themselves. *sigh*

I would go to bed every night bartering with the Lord, “Please God, if I wake up with Britney’s body tomorrow morning, I swear I will give a whole year’s salary to the poor.” Never happened (well, you’ve only to look at me to realize that LOL). I think, perhaps, my measly wagers where of little consequence to both God and the poor—especially because I AM the poor—so in reality I was going to keep the money myself LOL. Or maybe I was actually expected to diet AND exercise to look like her? *snort*

I don’t want to be mean, or hurtful or cruel (you see, that’s because I’m actually a very good bitch), but what the fuck has happened to her since then?** Is it the marriage to that gold-digging loser? Is it the fact that she’s been non-stop pregnant for the last two years? Or is it that, like most of us, she took her blessings for granted and lost them? Because if the latter is the case, she surely has enough money to get that amazing body of hers back! Come on, Britney, close that mouth and move that ass—get a lipo if you have to. You might also want to consider not giving birth every couple of months? Having a body like yours is the only reason I get up every morning. I expect you to get it back as soon as the next baby is out, and pretty please, stop buying your clothes at Salvation Army stores. Surely you can do better. DO NOT LET ME DOWN!



BTW, is anyone else starting to really pity her? It looks like her body isn’t the only messy thing in her life.

**Please save yourselves the hate mail. Yes, I am shallow, evil and twisted; and according to previous hate mail, the “seed of the devil.” LOL

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19 comment(s):

Blogger Karen Scott said...

Pure trailer trash. This indeed proves that falling for the wrong guy is hazardous for one's health. Look at Whitney and Bobby.

5/23/2006 07:55:00 PM  

Blogger Prunella Jones said...

Britney didn't really look like that. That's the magic of airbrushing, baby.

5/23/2006 09:10:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

In a word ..........skank!

5/24/2006 12:34:00 AM  

Blogger Leesha said...

And its not even as if you can she has been so busy looking after her child to take care of herself!!

~Leesha~

5/24/2006 12:51:00 AM  

Blogger Leesha said...

oops.. I meant to say "And its not even as if you can SAY....."

~Leesha~

5/24/2006 12:52:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Never liked Britney. That voice. Yuck yuck yuck! For a "singer" she definitely can't sing. A woman being choked while trying to call for help sounds better than her.

5/24/2006 01:20:00 AM  

Blogger Serendipity said...

Motherhood is cruel to the body. It doesn't have to stay that way though...witness Kelly Ripa, and even I at after 3 children. All I had to do, work out regularly with a Nazi trainer. Oh, and 60 bucks per fucking hour of torture.

What happened to Britney? That's puzzling. She can afford a trainer, and a nanny while she's at the gym...so it must cost alot physically to be married to an asshole fuckwad.

As to talent...she's laughing all the way the bank. Talent-less that she was. Then again, money isn't everything.

5/24/2006 01:27:00 AM  

Blogger C Bradshaw said...

Trailer trash. And that husband of hers... EEUUUWWWW

5/24/2006 01:47:00 AM  

Blogger Isabella said...

OMG that's just sad.

LOL, funny pictures though. Yes I'm a bitch too.

5/24/2006 03:00:00 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did you guys see Britney on David Letterman the other week? She announced her second pregnacy to Dave. Even Anna Nicole Smith looks better than her.

5/24/2006 04:17:00 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Any word yet on who is the father of this baby?

5/24/2006 07:02:00 AM  

Blogger lenguadefuego said...

ella no puede tener esa cola!!!!

5/24/2006 08:59:00 AM  

Blogger Lorelei said...

I'm not sure which is the bigger laughing stock, Tom Cruise or Britney Spears. What do you think? Sigh. And I used to love Tom.

5/24/2006 01:43:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ewwww Ugg Boots
Ugggggghhhhh

5/24/2006 06:43:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh well what can I say...she's Britney afterall...aka the baby killer for now...motherhood is scary indeed...

5/25/2006 05:50:00 AM  

Blogger Sexy Sadie said...

Turkey: Brit consider herself too posh to push heslef, I bet she had a KZ.

5/25/2006 10:35:00 AM  

Blogger Kevin said...

yeah Britney definitely has a body of devil. USED TO. now she is pregnant AGAIN... oh god, when wil my HOT Britney be back?

5/27/2006 05:09:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Mantis, yes, must be hard to be under all that scrutiny. I don't care really LOL but if Britney is the amazing woman you say she is, then she should take care of herself. Also not endanger her child. :S

Anyway, welcome Mantis and all the other new posters. Hope you guys visit often. :)

5/27/2006 09:39:00 AM  

Blogger High Power Rocketry said...

From hot to not...

5/29/2006 10:08:00 PM