I remember the first time I saw the video for “I’m A Slave for You,” I was dumbstruck—and in such a jealous rage I almost combusted from the unfairness of it all! How could anyone be blessed with such a gorgeous body? To me, she looked like every woman should: slim and toned but with enough amount of curves in the right places so as to not look like a starving crack-head. And her abs? It is my belief they were chiseled by the gods themselves. *sigh*
I would go to bed every night bartering with the Lord, “Please God, if I wake up with Britney’s body tomorrow morning, I swear I will give a whole year’s salary to the poor.” Never happened (well, you’ve only to look at me to realize that LOL). I think, perhaps, my measly wagers where of little consequence to both God and the poor—especially because I AM the poor—so in reality I was going to keep the money myself LOL. Or maybe I was actually expected to diet AND exercise to look like her? *snort*
I don’t want to be mean, or hurtful or cruel (you see, that’s because I’m actually a very good bitch), but what the fuck has happened to her since then?** Is it the marriage to that gold-digging loser? Is it the fact that she’s been non-stop pregnant for the last two years? Or is it that, like most of us, she took her blessings for granted and lost them? Because if the latter is the case, she surely has enough money to get that amazing body of hers back! Come on, Britney, close that mouth and move that ass—get a lipo if you have to. You might also want to consider not giving birth every couple of months? Having a body like yours is the only reason I get up every morning. I expect you to get it back as soon as the next baby is out, and pretty please, stop buying your clothes at Salvation Army stores. Surely you can do better. DO NOT LET ME DOWN!
BTW, is anyone else starting to really pity her? It looks like her body isn’t the only messy thing in her life.
**Please save yourselves the hate mail. Yes, I am shallow, evil and twisted; and according to previous hate mail, the “seed of the devil.” LOL