Friday, May 19, 2006

The Da Vinci Code: A movie almost as good as the book

I went into this movie with little expectations, having not found the book to be the orgasmic work of art everyone else on earth did (my theory on this is: most of these people had never read as much as a comic book and so were easily impressed by TDVC) but seeing as it was pleasurable enough—and had some attention-grabbing ideas—I didn’t dislike it either. I had higher hopes for the movie, the book not withstanding; after all, I do love both Tom Hanks and Ron Howard. At least, in my head, the film couldn’t possibly be worse than the novel.

I can now tell you, in some ways it was, and then, in other ways it was even more LOL.

In some ways it was...
  • Tom Hank’s mullet. WHY WHY WHY? People that still wear mullets should be send to concentration camps—or even worse, they should be forced to watch Billy Idol videos over and over again until they learn their lesson.
  • The acting was very mediocre. Audrey Tautou, who plays Sophie Neveu, was giving me a bloody headache. They should’ve had her speak as little as possible. That, or hand out headphones at the entrance to the theater.
  • Perhaps a thesaurus would have come in handy to the screen writers? Surely there are other expressions besides “oh my god!” they could have used in the over 50 times it was said.
  • They cut out the only good/interesting parts of the stupid book. The religious history the book delves into and the theories it presents were completely half-assed and brushed over.
  • People that didn’t read the book (Harlot and those other three somewhere), save yourselves the time and money; you won’t understand a word. This movie was made for people who read, and apparently, know the book by heart. Even I, having read it (two years ago), found myself lost and confused at times.
In other ways it was even more...
  • Paul Bettany, who did the part of Silas the Albino, started as a convincing character, and then became utterly weird and a tad over dramatic. I’m guessing what the movie creators were expecting from his scenes weren’t guffaws and hysterical laughter; but if it was, they did a pretty good job LOL.
  • The only passable looking guy, Remy the Chauffeur, gets fucking murdered. After that, I had nothing to distract me from the humdrum plot and the creepy dark look the film has.
I do want to say this: The Da Vinci Code isn’t BAD when compared to some stuff I’ve seen, and even worse, to some others Harlot has recommended. If you read the book, I suggest you go (maybe not stand in line for an hour, but still go). You will not find yourself bored out of your mind; and at least, in the theater I was in, there were no suicides or self-inflicted injuries LOL. That’s always a good sign. *g*

So, yes, go see it, just don’t expect it to be the work of art the book is. *falling off my chair laughing sarcastically*


19 comment(s):

Anonymous rosalinda said...

Trollop! LMBO!

Now thinking if I should still watch.

5/18/2006 11:52:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Grrr. The only bad movie i told you to watch is that Reese movie! And i specifically said, i haven't seen it yet but that sister liked it! :@

LOL anyway, it's true. Everyone you ask: "what's your fave book?" they'll say THE DA VINCI CODE. :S I agree, LOL. These people had probably read only one or two books. :P I never buy books or watch movies or like songs just because they're popular. I actually like it when things i love aren't a popular one. Somehow, i appreciate them more.

When i heard about TDC, everyone seems to be reading it. And at the time, i coudn't find a copy. Since i have more books on my pile, i didn't bother. Besides, just because everyone seems to have read it, i should too? LOL Especially when Trollop and BF said it's not even that good. Maybe sometime, when i have more time. :P

5/19/2006 12:12:00 AM  

Blogger Angel Jamie said...

uh oh.. i'm afraid i'll be an outcast with this one.. i have to admit i did liked the book (TDC, haven't seen the movie yet), read it jan. 2004 & i liked the intrigue & controversy that was written & how the catholic church would handle this. i was born & raised a catholic, went to catholic school... while i was reading it i was thinking... hmmm, what would the priest from our church would say, what would "sister ____'s" comment about this? *big grin* i am not mocking my faith but i have to admit there are several issues about this religion that is worth an eye roll! with that in mind, i think it's always good to give them (church, religious grps, et al) something to fuss about, get them all riled up! LOL now i think it's been given enough attention, moving right along....

5/19/2006 02:20:00 AM  

Anonymous asha said...


I'm looking forward to see this movie because even though the book is not the work of art everyone said it is (like you perfectly pointed out), I did like it. :)

Great blog ladies!

5/19/2006 09:06:00 AM  

Blogger C Bradshaw said...

Trollop, thanks for the review LOL I'll be seeing this movie most likely, next week. Oh, and you're right about Tom Hank's hair! What's up with that!

5/19/2006 09:41:00 AM  

Anonymous cory said...

I loved the book. I love Tom Hanks. I also liked the movie Amelie and A Very Long Engagement with Audrey Tautou. So, we'll see. :)

5/19/2006 11:11:00 AM  

Anonymous Tisty said...

OK make that four people who haven't read the da V book. I was loant a copy, held onto it for a year, flicked through the pretty pictures, then slipped it back onto the persons book case, pretending I'd returned it aaaaaages ago. I think it was everyones raving that turned me off. I always find that when the whole world is in orgasm about a book, I tend to want to get to the part where we light the cig as quickly as possible.

I probably will go and see the movie, but mainly because I like Paul Bettnay (Master and comander *drool* I'll just block my ears if he is too odd) and Ian Mckellem (respect man. One of the hardest working British actors.)
I'm such a shallow person. And I don't care :-P

5/19/2006 04:05:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Tisty, me too! LOL I mean i too am shallow and i don't care. Like i mentioned, i get dicourage to read a book when every freaking people seem to be ecstatic about it--even those who haven't even read it yet. :/ Not a fan of Paul's though but i do like Ian McKellen. He's Gandalf. LOL

5/19/2006 05:48:00 PM  

Anonymous Karen said...

Saw the movie. I have to agree with you Trollop. VERY disappointed. Don't waste your money!


5/19/2006 07:54:00 PM  

Anonymous pia said...

i cant believe this is a ron howard film. i love his movies but this, da vinci code is a mess! wrong casting, bad editing and just too fucking confusing. what's up with sophie neveu? she's irritating and useless. blech.

5/19/2006 07:59:00 PM  

Blogger Jim said...

Dan Brown touched our collective Jesus nerve when, using an incredible imagination, he put together a fictional story based so closely on historical fact that Maylasia (I think it was Malaysia) banned it, and Christians and Catholics world-wide are meeting and discussing what to do about it. Brown said, "everyone knows the best Hollywood offers writers is disappointment, but this time they got it right." If he liked it, I choose to respect the intelluctual property he crafted, as well as that crafted by Ron "Opie" Howard. We saw the movie this afternoon. I liked it, but movies are never as good as the book they come from. It isn't possible. I thought Ian McKewan stole the show, Tom Hanks was flat and Audrey was wonderful eye candy. Having been to all the locations (except Rosslyn Chapel), including Newton's tomb in Westminster, I got the thrill I wanted watching them stand in the spots I've been.

5/19/2006 10:02:00 PM  

Blogger Radmila said...

I'm with you on not understanding what the big deal is.
I read the book, only because of the hype, and through people's descriptions of the story, thought it sounded interesting.
It started with promise...and then,
I must admit that I found the book far fetched, and pretty boring. I had to skip entire paragraphs because the writing was pedestrian and trite.
I slogged through the book and really didn't care about how it ended or the characters.
I am astounded that this mediocre piece of pulp is getting so much hype.
I think that it's pretty sad commentary if this is what grabs the attention of most people.
The idea that some people actually think that the Catholic Church and Opus Day are that organized is laughable.
Try getting 12 people to agree on a meal, much less control the faith of thousands...please.

5/19/2006 10:41:00 PM  

Blogger Aggie said...

I saw it today and found it got very unbelievable in the finish. All that weird stuff with Sophie's supposed grandfather and yet shes still supposed to believe he does it all to protect her. Excuse me while I snort loudly! And all those weirdo Priory of Sion peeps at the end - including dear ol granny - if they were my inheritance I's run a mile and say get stuffed the lot of you. Then they end up right back where they started? Nah! The book was a good desperate and dateless night blob, but the movie is laughable.

5/20/2006 02:26:00 AM  

Blogger rebelheart said...

The book is crap,a very well structured commercial operation.It didn't take much time confutate all the theories in it...anyway I don't wonder that it had so much success,the theme is definitely charming,and most of people who liked it don't read more than a couple of books a year.Anyway I'm going to see the movie,Tom Hanks is one of my favorite actors in the end...and I'm bloody curious to see what they got out of it!

5/20/2006 04:58:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Welcome to all the lovely new people. Love the comments. :D Hope you guys post often!

5/20/2006 07:36:00 AM  

Anonymous Vixen said...

I am one of those other 3 who haven't read the book. Just about everyone I know has told me to read it and I just can't get the motivation to do it. DH keeps telling me to read it and continues to point out the book on the bookshelf along with a matching copy that was given to me by friend. They're both collecting dust. LOL. I know, I know, I should give it a shot. But seriously, put down my romance? UGH the sacrafice! LOL

Harlot, which Reece movie did you rec that Trollop didn't like? just curious :)

5/20/2006 11:40:00 AM  

Blogger AngryMan said...

Are you saying that you hate Ron Howard? You hate Opie Taylor and Ritchie Cunningham, is that what you are saying? You, mam, are a terrorist! :)

5/20/2006 11:59:00 AM  

Blogger Karen Scott said...

I have TDC on my TBR. It's going to be a long time before I read it. Hype totally kills things for me, whether it be books, movies, music, etc.

I do think though that the daggers were out for TDC before it even premiered.

Not for one minute did I think that the machete-wielding movie critics would publicly claim to love the movie version, it's way cooler to use long drawn out words to describe how crap it was.

I think I'll wait till it comes out on DVD, by then, the hype should have died down, and I'll be able to enjoy it with an open mind.

On the other hand, I'm going to be running to the pictures to see X-Men when it releases over here *g*

5/20/2006 01:32:00 PM  

Anonymous Gina_Marie said...

I think that you hit the nail on the head with this review. I enjoyed the movie... but movies are rarely better than the book.

5/22/2006 04:56:00 PM