Wednesday, May 17, 2006

I'm not THAT bad, you know

During the last couple of days I’ve been in such a weird mood that Trollop has called me “evil” three times in one day (not counting those I don’t have a proof of, that witch). Let me say that’s quite impressive, with her knows-no-bound patience...

May 10 8:35 PM (on tagboard)
Trollop: Hullo everyone. Dead tired! And Harlot is a slave driver! She will surely burn in hell for her evilness. “Clean the floors Cinderella, wash the ceilings Cinderella, do the dishes Cinderella.” That’s all I hear!

May 10 8:59 PM
Trollop: My tummy hurts...
Harlot: Drink tea.
Trollop: You’re the one doing this to me :@ with your evilness!

May 10 11:38 PM
Trollop: We’re really bad LOL, but you are worse—you evil spawn of satan!
Harlot: I am not! Excuse me but I am devil’s seed.
Trollop: Pardon me LOL.

May 13 12:16 AM
Harlot: To be honest babe, I’m relieved. :S
Trollop: Of course you are. You make ME do all the talking, you evil woman.

May 13 12:13 AM
Trollop: No! We have to be nice LOL.
Harlot: I was nice!
Trollop: Well, you weren’t the evilest bitch of them all, but I’m thinking you make, at least, the top 100 list.

It’s probably because a) we’re both busy preparing interviews for some authors that are going to come over and actually spend some time with me even if I’m with Trollop; b) engaged with either BFs, tiring work, RL stuff; and c) very, very occupied watching MY Raoul *wink* take his shirt off over and over and over again (oh my) and then present us with that oh-so-bitable arse of his.

The fact that my “to be read” pile is growing at an alarming rate doesn’t help either. Not to mention my “to do” list is getting longer, while my “to shag” file is getting shorter (weird). Anyway, since, at the moment, I can’t do anything about my TBR and TSF, I decided to update my TDL instead:

Things I need to do:
  • Go back to finish university, and finally get my degree.
  • Pick up something a hussy friend has so generously send.
  • Talk to post office due to missing packages. Bastards. Grr.
  • Get a hair cut. Not by kitchen scissors and my own two hands. I’m thinking fringe.
  • Catalog new acquired books.
  • Learn how to cook. Pushing microwave buttons doesn’t count.
  • Learn how to live with scary dogs around.
  • Find some new cute undies.
  • Buy new jars of Nutella. For “stock.”
  • Go to gym to get fit. Means more stamina.
Things I want to do:
  • Go to Italy and shag Raoul.
  • Visit Trollop in her tropical island and go salsa. No sushi. No pineapple.
  • Get a rabbit.
  • Get a G-spot vibe.
  • Have an orgasm in a public place. *shy* (I’m being totally honest here, you know! LOL)
  • Watch BF shower, then hop in and join.
  • Get handcuffed and spread with Nutella.
  • Shag Raoul senseless and/or until neither of us can walk anymore.
  • Birthday gift for BF he will never forget.
The first list I actually consider chores; I HAVE to do them. I suppose you can say the second one is my reward for getting the first one accomplished.

For those of you who are thinking I’m PMSing while writing this, you bet your arse I am LOL. I’m emotional, cranky, bitchy and horny—and apparently evil. I’ll find myself thinking up creative ways of how to torture the people who are annoying me, and then, when I cool down, I’ll be dreaming of doing number seven on the second list. Especially when done after number six on the same list... Accompanied with number three, or four, or both afterwards...

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12 comment(s):

Blogger Serendipity said...

Uh...can I have Raoul? That would be a really nice birthday present...I mean even if my birthday is not till next year.

5/17/2006 01:04:00 PM  

Blogger C Bradshaw said...

Harlot, I can relate, I'm PMSing too. Why can't men understand that you need space when you don't want to talk? And when you actually want to talk and been waiting for his call, he won't call at all! GGRRRR!

5/17/2006 01:12:00 PM  

Anonymous noni said...

This is the reason why God created nutella. LOL

5/17/2006 02:09:00 PM  

Blogger Petra said...

LOL Harlot, you are so kinky!

Happy birthday to your BF. I'm sure whatever it is you have for him, he won't forget it. ;)

5/17/2006 08:59:00 PM  

Anonymous Lanie said...

The rate of Nutella consumtion between you and VT, I'm thinking I should buy shares in the company that manufactures Nutella :P

I'd make a killing :D

5/17/2006 10:09:00 PM  

Anonymous mandy said...

Harlot, what are you planning for BF? :P

Lanie, I agree. But I can't blame them. Thanks to these two I became addicted too!

5/17/2006 10:24:00 PM  

Anonymous Trollop said...

I've been eating Nutella like crazy all day. Brother brought me one of those HUGE jars :D YUMMM But you know, the guilt is horrible lol

Lanie babe, I'm a horrible/awful bitch. I've owed you an email forever. Tell me how evil I am, I deserve it :( I promise to email this week :P Plus need to ask you something. Smooches babe.

5/17/2006 10:38:00 PM  

Anonymous ollenska said...

Harlot, you are such a tease! Do share your birthday plans with us! Does it involve, say, a whip and some cream? LOL

5/17/2006 11:03:00 PM  

Blogger C Bradshaw said...

I too can't cook. But me and the boyfriend always eat out anyway. Still, yes, important to learn how to cook.

I saw on tagboard that you gals posted some eye candy for today. What happened?! We need eye candy!!! LOL

5/17/2006 11:21:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Err, no divulging of plans. :P BF could be lurking LOL.

I think i'm more addicted to Nutella now than before. Especially at the moment there's no school, so i have more time at home. Yikes LOL

C Bradshaw, i think i'm hopeless when it comes to cooking. *sniff* Trollop "I-can-cook-anything" even tried to teach me. With all the recipes she's given me (still think this is one of her ways of torturing me :@ and she calls ME evil?!) the only thing i actually made was pesto and some bruschetta(sp?), and that bread even turned out salty. :S It's not my fault really!

5/17/2006 11:38:00 PM  

Blogger Serendipity said...

Harlot, cooking is like Chemistry experiment. If you made good grades there, then you can conquer this too.

5/18/2006 01:06:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...


I AM good with Chemistry! When i was in Engineering school, it's one of my fave subjects.. :S

5/18/2006 01:27:00 AM