The Book Bitches

Two very opinionated bitches talk about books and bitch about other stuff too.

WHAT YOU WANT...

Hello, boys, I have pussy feet O.M.G.

And it says it costs $150! holy crap. OMFG. Don't knock it 'til you try it. Holycrap O.O

That's disgusting! BBC: "Crazy" series Loved Paullina's reply. How funny! Oh shut up GGRRRR.. LOL! Congrats to the winners :) Paullina Simons part deux The many faces of Casanova Harlot, have mercy on my poor eyes! Is this guy related to Mr. T? totally priceless! LOL! Ha! Thanks for the laugh. Hi Kristy..I am in Melbourne too! Hello Harlot :-) No one is better than Jerry The Book Bitches FAQ Damn. you two are so pretty!! You two are beautiful. Dammit. Trollop, you're Irish?

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Hello, boys, I have pussy feet

The last two VDs I posted how Singles Awareness Day gets my knickers in a twist—and not in a good way. This year, with a box of ChocNut from my little brother (he’s 17 now with tons of GFs yet he still gives me chocolates *big smile*) and 4 jars of Nutella from my recurrent ex, quite constant BF of the last 3 years, I’m so full of delicious goodness mm mmmm I’ve decided not to have a VD rant; instead, I’m going to give you something to ogle. *g*

You guys know about my lurve for sex toys (like here and here and here and then here and here), most of them for girls. I just realized, I’ve yet to feature something for the boys. (For shame; so sorry, my darling boys...) Nah, I’m not talking about blow-up dolls.** Nope. Gents—and ladies—I present to you, the Pussy Foot...

The SiFeet Pussy Foot is the ultimate fantasy sex toy for foot fetishists. This size 6, 100% silicone foot is cast in pure silicone from a real life actual, beautiful female foot.

The feature that makes the Pussy Foot even better than an actual foot is the pussy located on the sole of the foot. You can passionately fuck the foot in a way you’ve never been able to before. It is the perfect combination of foot and vagina.

I’m not Trollop the Foot Fetishist, but jeezuz, have you seen anything like that?!? It looks like a crossbreed between a diabetic foot with an ulcer wound and a poor woman who stepped on a humongous nail. (She definitely needs a tetanus shot. :/)

Actually, if you ask me, I think this... um, thing, is a loonytrap. Ya know, you order it and—BAM! Dudes in lab coats with butterfly nets and syringes show up at your house and lock you in before you go on a killing rampage! (DUN-DUN-DUN!!!) Er, *ahem* just saying: Beware, pervy heathens.

Wonder what would be the male equivalent of this. A washboard abs torso with a big cock in the middle you can cuddle? Hmmm, wocha think? And would you buy it? Hee. C’mon, admit it. :P

**I have a friend who once told me, and I quote: “When you buy a sex doll, never be tempted to blow it up the whole way, because if you do the vagina will pop out and it’s an absolute bastard to get back in.” LOL Until this day I’ve no idea why he imparted this piece of gem with me but I swear on Trollop’s wooden dildo I don’t have—and don’t fantasize of having!—a blow-up doll. With that said, if you learn nothing else from TBB, take that fact to the grave. *wink*

Labels: bloody vd, cock fetish, holidaze, nutella lovah, sex and the bitches

Sunday, January 20, 2008

BBC: "Crazy" series

I can’t begin to tell you how much I’ve enjoyed these books. It’s been a long time since I was this hooked on an author or on a series. These novels are like crack or cocaine or something equally addictive; like great covered-in-Nutella hot sex. *mamasita*

I know I was supposed to post this last Monday but, come on, it’s only a week late and in my defense:

This week we started the 100 days countdown towards the elections (double the work double the fun for me *g*).
I couldn’t put any of the “Steele Streets” books down long enough to actually sit down and do this. Bad, bad Trollop.
I’ve discovered that there are dozens and dozens of blogs and BBs out there—that I knew nothing of—so I’ve been blog-hopping ~~a lot~~ (bit embarrassed).

These are the first couple of questions we’ll be discussing from: Crazy Hot, Crazy Cool and Crazy Wild by Tara Janzen. If anyone wants to discuss the following books in the series feel free to do so. (I’ve yet to read Cutting Loose so ye be warned, heathens: Any spoilers on Zack are punishable by death!)

I’ll post my answers in the comments section and I want to encourage you guys to add your own questions as well when you comment. *g* And yes, I’m making you guys do my work but my brain is too addled by hot men and fast cars at the moment to form coherent sentences.

Favorite hero and favorite heroine. Why?
Favorite secondary couple.
Do you think there is any way J.T. Chronopoulos could come back from the dead and have his own book? And here we’re going to play a little something I like to call: “Let’s pretend this is a soap opera and tell me how you’d stage J.T.’s comeback.”
Hottest sex scene.
Which of the chop-shop boys do you think is best equipped to be featured in the next installment of “The Big Cock Theory”? *g*

Labels: bitches book club, nutella lovah

Friday, January 18, 2008

And the winners of our Jennifer Donnelly, Paullina Simons raffle are...

Sara - The Winter Rose (WOOHOO!)
Vampireprincess - The Bronze Horseman (HURRAH!)
Lollie Rose - Road to Paradise (YAYAYAYAY!)

Thanks to everyone for participating. As for the three lucky chickies, email me where you want the book send with “Raoul loves Harlot forever and evah” on the subject line.

I still can’t believe we just had Jennifer Donnelly and Paullina Simons here on TBB. Jennifer and Paullina had been so gracious and such a good sport—and very patient with me too, heh.

I particularly cherish Paullina’s hand-written emails to me (no idea how she does that). I even printed some of it and placed it between the pages of my TBH copy. (Yes, yes, I’m a dork.) The other night with my heathenish ways, I told Paullina that her “tiny house” claims and gazillion of shoes problem didn’t change anything: I’m still holding her to her promise to name a character after me. To my horror, she replied:

SERIOUSLY, CAPS LOCK DOESN’T FULLY EXPRESS WHAT I FEEL. I MIGHT FINALLY HAVE TO KILL TROLLOP!!!

Labels: fun and games, nutella lovah, the bronze horseman’s harlot

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Paullina Simons part deux

Paullina, tell us about your new novel, Road to Paradise.

Since Tully I have been fascinated by coming of age stories, and since coming to America, I have been fascinated by America.

Tully was all about one place, Topeka Kansas, but in Road to Paradise I wanted to explore a different geography.

What if you didn’t know where your place was?

I had for a long time wanted to do a road trip story but with girls. That story has been done to death with men, and probably with good reason, because girls are a lot more vulnerable on the road, but it is this very vulnerability I wanted to explore—two young girls, Shelby and Gina, reluctant travelers, once best friends but no more, set out right after high school from east coast to the west, on what they believe is a two week journey. Shelby is going to find her mother who abandoned her and whom she hasn’t seen in many years. Gina is going to California to stop her BFF from marrying someone else. Shelby is a planner, a list-maker, and Gina is more of a fly-by the seat of her pants kind of gal. On the way, everything they know about themselves and have come to believe is turned on its head, and nothing is as they have expected or planned after they do the impossible and let a hitchhiker into their little car, who changes the path of their journey and their life.

Road to Paradise begins:

“Do what you like, Shelby Sloane, the bartered bride said to me, smiling like an enigma, just remember, all roads lead to where you stand. Back then I said, what does that mean?

Now I knew.”

Road to Paradise, among many things, is my love song to America, my adopted country, and to the shameless questions of youth—questions that can only be asked in a free country, questions youth doesn’t want to ask, but still desperately wants answers to.

Who am I?

Where is the place on which I stand?

Do I fit?

Who will love me?

Am my myself capable of love?

What is love?

I tell people you write historical fiction because of the TBH trilogy. Then I’ll remember that you don’t write a specific genre. Tully is a saga, Red Leaves is a crime mystery, Eleven Hours is a thriller, The Girl in Times Square is a contemporary love story, Tatiana’s Table is a cookbook. What similarities do they have that make them PS novels? What do you think makes your books different from others in their genre?

I write about things that touch upon my heart. Sometimes it’s a girl in Topeka, Kansas. Sometimes it’s murder. Sometimes it’s the isolation and terrors of pregnancy. And sometimes it’s first love. The similarities are always a certain real-time feel to them, the fullness of dialogue, the flood of emotion, the twisting of conflict that makes choices difficult if not impossible, and a touch of Russian over-the-topness.

(SKIP THIS PART IF YOU’VE YET TO READ TULLY.) Your debut novel, Tully, is like a storm. No, make that a hurricane. It builds up to this climax, lifts you from your feet and then drops you in the ocean to drown! Oh, Tully... I believe Jack is Tully’s uber true love. Why did you have her end up with Robin?

I’m not sure I can answer that in just one sentence. Will there be a spoiler alert for those who haven’t read the book yet?

Sure thing. *SPOILER, SPOILER, SPOILER ALERT!* Ye be warned, heathens!

Here goes. Tully chose to stay with Robin because he was the right choice. The point for her from the beginning was to find her life, her happiness in the place where she did not ever believe she could find either. And Jack was not Tully’s uber true love. Jennifer was.

Oho-kay. THAT I never considered.

Is there a favorite scene amongst your stories? A story that you had the most fun with, the most difficult time, or derived the most satisfaction from writing? Did you model any characters from someone you know in real life? How about the situations they’ve been in? Something you have experienced personally and just had to write about?

This can’t possibly be ALL question number 11. There are like seventy questions in there, all requiring a page to answer.

Heh! :P So sorry, I got carried away—I’m too excited! Actually, if it were up to me I’d ask you just about every question under the sun: from how you got into writing, how many mansions you own—WHEN CAN I VISIT?—to how many pairs of knickers you have and which ones drive your hubby wild. *rarr* But then I realized I should just settle with making this interview different while trying to pretend I’m a professional instead of a gushing cuckoo fangirl. How I failed on the latter... :/ Well, answer any questions you like then...

I will bravely try. I have many many favorite scenes among my eight novels and my cookbook. I love the 50 anniversary scene with the alternate universe in the cookbook. I love Tully falling in love with Jack at Lake Vaquero, I love Spencer and Kristina’s first “date,” I love Lilly falling in love with Spencer at Yankee Stadium. I love Lazarevo in TBH, escape from Sachsenhausen in T&A, and Bethel Island in The Summer Garden. I love the Dinner at Bobo’s scene in the Summer Garden. I love Reno in Road to Paradise. And St. Louis.

I have great trouble and great fun with all my stories. Because the number of drafts required for me to craft a story into something readable is like a number from a horror movie. Tully was draining to write, so was Lily, so was the trilogy. Nothing was harder than the trilogy.

As far as modeling after real people, yes, no, a little from everyone, nothing from anyone, most from me, much made up, some experienced, mostly imagined, felt, seen in the heart.

Are you working on another book right now? Can you tell us what is it about and will you be naming a character Harlot? :D I think you should! Shura would agree! Maybe even if it’s just a beloved cute pet bunny. Or, maybe, you could include a scene with Nutella-covered hot men: my biggest weakness. *drool* At least I’d know you’re thinking of me...

Ha. Okay, in the next book, there will be a Harlot who loves Nutella. Will it be okay if the Nutella-loving harlot is actually both? And yes, I’m starting work on a new novel.

Both Nutella-lover and a harlot? Of course it’s okay; I am that after all, heh. *ahem* Just so you know, with our readers as my witness, I will hold you to your word. *big tacky neon sign flashing here!* DON’T FORGET, PEOPLE; LOOK FOR ME IN PAULLINA’S NEXT NOVEL! SHWING!

Still grinning like an idiot, eheheheh... Erm, is it true you’re writing the screenplay for TBH movie? I have to admit I’m not very keen about the idea of a TBH movie. There is NO WAY it could do the book justice. I fear the movie would butcher the story or a particular scene I love and then I’ve to do the right thing and murder the director. :S Regardless, which actors would you like to see play the characters in the movie? And what will you wear to the premiere? A strapless D&G or a seductive Versace? Perhaps a hot Betsy Johnson with your hair in braids?

You’re right, no movie would or could ever do the book justice. Still, it will be valiant to try, and I shall, this year.

I haven’t thought about casting, but someone tall and dark and young for him, and someone little and cute and blonde for her.

I’m not a D&G kind of gal, and Versace pasties won’t work for me the way they did for JLO. Perhaps Carmen Marc Valvo with Zanotti strappy sandals?

Oooh, fabulous choice.

For our silly questions: have you been naughty or nice last year? Did Santa give you what you wanted last Christmas? What are your new year’s resolutions and/or wishes?

I’ve been excellently both this year. Santa has given me more than I’ve ever hoped for. I’m hoping to finish my TBH screenplay, get biker thighs, finish the next book, kiss my kids a hundred times a day despite vociferous protests.

What are the two things you should never do in bed? *g*

Eat potato chips and snorkel.

Good advice LOL. Paullina, thank you so much for your time. I’d also like to take this opportunity to thank you for your work, and for writing one of the most magnificent, exquisite, GLORIOUSLY EPIC love stories ever told.

Anything you’d like to add?

In conclusion I’d like to say that my main prayer from the time I was little and dreamed of being a writer, through to the years I started writing, to The Bronze Horseman and beyond was this: Please God, let somebody out there feel about this story, these people, this book, half of what I felt when I was writing it, please let this THING move, affect somebody, please let it make SOMEBODY out there cry. Please.

Isn’t it nice to know there is a God?

And thank you.

Labels: author interview, nutella lovah, the bronze horseman’s harlot

Friday, January 11, 2008

The many faces of Casanova

I used to think our readers secretly despise Trollop that’s why they’re not showing themselves. I understand; she’s a bit despicable really. :/ It can’t possibly be me because, let’s face it, I’m uber adorable. But now—after only a teeny-tiny fraction of delurkees *sniff*—I’m beginning to think the real reason is because our readers are composed mostly of Nutella-covered hot men! *gasp* Could it be? *hand-on-mouth shock* *drools breathlessly*

Even as my mind begins to wonder a world full of such glorious creatures (oh so my fantasy!) for the sake of delurking, fine: I will TRY to keep my hands to myself and curb the desire to lick Nutella off of you. What say you?

I guess I just have to wait who is man enough to talk to me. ;)

Now, for those of you who have delurked, I thank you, my lovelies. In return for making my and Trollop’s day (also to encourage the other ladies and men lovers who have yet to say “hola hermosas”) here’s an abundance of eye candy. Do let me know which one makes you tingle from your scalp to your little toes. Enjoy... *g*

Labels: fuckalicious, fun and games, nutella lovah

Monday, January 7, 2008

For the love of the Bitches, come out, come out, whoever you are...

This time last year was National Delurking Week. No idea if anyone is doing it again this year on such a global scale, but I thought seeing as our dear visitors have been so lazy to comment lately, *sniffles* I’d make this our own personal delurking week. That’s right! It’s your once-in-a-year chance to finally make my and Trollop’s day; see, even my Raoul thinks you heathens should do it.

Okay, I’m going to make it a challenge: for every TBB reader who delurks in this thread, I’m going to post one yummilicious eye candy, uh-hmm (you know I have tons of that, even some for the boys and girls who likes girls *g*). And yes, as long as you’re not a verra handsome man covered in Nutella, I promise not to bite. ;)

Please don’t be shy, if you have read TBB for months or just started coming by, feel free to introduce yourself. It’d be nice to hear more than just “Harlot, you sexy minx, you’re bestest over Trollop.” That would surely make me smile but, really, post whatever you like. Maybe tell us who your favorite authors are, or what would you like to see more/less of on our blog (features, navigation you’d like us to add?), or if you dance in the showers or you sing when you’re having orgasm—or any gossip! You have inside info that Casey dude isn’t really the father of Brit Brit’s lil sis’s not-so-secret baby? Do tell! Heh. Oh, and let me know if you’re interested in having BBC discussion this month or February.

Gotchabaguse? Goody. Happy delurking!

Labels: blog buggery, nutella lovah

Monday, October 29, 2007

No one is better than Jerry

I love Jerry Seinfeld. Actually, that’s not quite accurate. “Love” is too weak a word to describe my feelings for Jerry. To give you the full picture I’ll tell you that I love Seinfeld more than I love chocolate and more than I love Nutella—and even *gasp* more than I love Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups—and I REALLY LOVE Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. Shocking, I know!

So you can’t truly blame me for being on the crazier side of nuts about Bee Movie opening this weekend. The last movie I was this excited about was Pirates of the Caribbean, which was wonderful. It’s good to have something to look forward to. And yes, I’m aware of how sad my life sounds LOL.

Labels: bitch at the movies, celebs crap, nutella lovah, youtubery

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

The Book Bitches FAQ

Welcome, bee-yoo-tiful reader. We hope you have a fantabulous visit. Don’t be afraid to say hullo, we don’t bite—unless you’re a gorgeous naked man covered in Nutella. ;)

We’re foul-mouthed heathens and we fuck proudly. If you’re easily offended, go read the Daily Word or something. Gotchabaguse? Goody. Let’s proceed.

TBB is a thousand shades of awesome! :D How did it come about?

Once upon a time there was a most beautiful bitch named Trollop. She’d been an avid reader all her life, finishing her first book in the summer between first and second grade, a children’s version of Around the World in Eighty Days by Jules Verne. There hasn’t been a time since then that she hasn’t been in the middle of reading a book or novel.

One day, she came upon a book titled Lady Be Good by Susan Elizabeth Phillips. It was the first time she’d read a romance novel and she absolutely loved it. This got her hooked on romance; however, most books that landed in her greedy little hands were a bunch of bullocks! She desperately wanted to share her frustrations with someone, but the only BB she was part of had a “no bashing books” policy which, though completely understandable, was freaking exasperating.

Enter the uber gorgeous Princess Harlot! Like Trollop, she too loved to read ever since she was a little heathen stealing books from her grandpa’s library. She discovered romance novels (through Judith McNaught’s Something Wonderful) almost at the same time Trollop did (both at the age of 21; coincidence?—I think not!) and like Trollop, she needed a place to vent about the crappy books she had the misfortune to read. Trollop then thought of a solution where the two of them could trash and bash, whine and rip apart any books they hated.

And so, The Book Bitches was created, thanks to Trollop’s endless babble about this or that book that “sucks so bad I’m seriously contemplating slicing my wrists instead of continuing to read this crap.” The original idea of purely reviewing—*cough* trashing *cough*—books all the time was discarded shortly after the blog first started. TBB is now a place for the two of them to talk about books, movies, TV shows—life in general, really—and there is, of course, tons of sex talk. It’s like having their very own shrink, without the exorbitant fees. *g*

How long does it take you to write a post? Do you have set days of the week for posting? There used to be four BB; where are the other two? Did Harlot scratch their eyes out for lusting over Raoul?

Harlot: Just so you know, for MY Raoul—if I must—I will beat the crap outtaya! I may be tiny but I can kick and chop-chop like the best of karate kicker choppers out there! AYE! *hmph*

Trollop’s favorite posts are The Bitchin’ News, though she seldom writes them (they are very time consuming).
Harlot edits all the posts to make them “pritti” and eye-catching.
Trollop edits all the posts for grammar and sentence structure.
Harlot gets all the pretty pictures added in the posts because Trollop is lazy to search and usually gets the fugly ones.
Trollop works on editing pictures and headers.
Harlot has taken over most of the template changes. (Blogger hates poor Trollop!)
Trollop got her name from a Girlmore Girls episode where Lorelai is using a lipstick by the color of “Vicious Trollop.”
Harlot got her name because it sounds better than “Trollop.” :P
Trollop has a list a mile long of posts she wants to write about, but never gets to work on them and the list keeps growing and growing and growing.

Harlot: YOU list them? I have my own list but I also have to make sure I’ll make a list for Trollop. Seriously, she looses everything!—and she actually blames me when I “forget” what it is SHE should be writing about! :@

Trollop: We don’t have a schedule for posts, or which of us has to post a specific day. We sort of play it by ear. I show Harlot all my works in progress but I only get to see hers when they are already finished and drafted. *grrr* It takes me a couple of hours to write most articles, and a bit more if I have to do research. Harlot writes a post in all of 5 seconds, and before I edit them, I have to tell you, they’re freaking LONG! How she does it is beyond me; takes me a fucking hour to write a paragraph LOL.

TBB started with four members: Bawdy Babe, Harlot, Tart and Vicious Trollop as contributors. Later on, two of our mates left us because of real life commitments; therefore, there are now only two fabulous Bitches left: Harlot and Trollop. ;)

Related:

Who in Xenu’s pants is Tucker?

Short answer: Not campaigning for some wanker; “Tucker for Mayor: More of the Same!” is our post continuation link.

Long answer: We luuuurve Jennifer Crusie’s Welcome to Temptation like sick freakos love sex in a barn (probably with fongool orgasm :/). We love its hero, Phin Tucker; its witty and funny story, the uber hot sex and, yes, Phin’s incredibly charming campaign slogan “Tucker for Mayor: More of the Same!”

Instead of “Ohhh, more, more, MORE!” (words that belong to our love slaves *wink*), whenever we have a long post, we’re going to use Phin’s funny slogan as a post continuation link. Particularly if said post includes tons of photos and/or videos. That way, our pages won’t look cluttered and it’ll be faster to load, yay!

Related:

What in pickling gherkin is BBC, and how can I join it?

Bitches Book Club (BBC) was officially launched on March 2006 (sounds like a space shuttle :/). Anyone that has read the book can participate, FREE, no charge, really really—though, if you want to send us some money, please, by all means. *g* Just answer the damn questions; the more people that join, the more interesting and diverse the discussion will be!

Every first day of the month, a book selection will be announced. Discussion begins the last Monday of the same month (unless announced otherwise). Usually, there are approximately 5-6 questions per book (we do not want our readers typing answers until their poor wee fingers fall off). Some of the questions will be posted when the “Book Selection of the Month” is announced, so participants can mull them over while they read. The rest will be posted when discussion officially starts, yay!

Discussion and comments are recorded on archives for further perusal. If you want to add something even after the discussion is over, please feel free to do so.

Isn’t this a readers’ blog? Why do you keep talking about sex? Why so few book reviews? Where are the juicy author gossips and the stupid catfights, dammit!?

If you don’t like what we do, for fuck’s sake, go forth and seek other sites. Honestly... In any case, let’s clarify some stuff:

a) Yes, this is The Book Bitches blog, and yes, we do talk about books here. But there are a lot of ways you can talk about books than just by reviewing them. What we do is... well, different. Here are two posts as examples: “The Big Cock Theory” and “His Ever Throbbing Manroot” (or just peruse our favorite posts scrolling on our ticker, that box on top of our pritti chatbox). As The Brainwash Café team has said about us: “Here, you can find articles on nearly everything all written with, hmmm... lets say a ‘unique’ style...” See, we’re unique. :D (We like those guys!)

b) We don’t have the interest, time and tolerance to seek gossips about authors. We can’t spend our time searching for “juicy” tidbits about the literary world, not even the romance genre (we’re busy and fucking lazy). We are not in tune with what’s happening in different authors’ personal lives. Actually, we’re usually the last ones to find these tittle-tattles! We are self-centered bitches who don’t give a flying fuck about others’ flights *le sigh* (unless it’s uber importante, heh). Of course when we happen to come across said topics and/or feel compelled to talk about scandals—or this and that author fighting idiotically in public, etc—promithe, when we do have something to say, you WON’T miss it.

c) We don’t attack authors. Meaning, we don’t call them bad, uglee oompa loompas. Their book is another matter, however. If we feel that one’s book is gad-awful and deserves to melt in a huge pot of boiling undiluted bubotuber pus—we will say that, of course. As for the stupid catfights, see “WTF? Why did you delete my comment?”

d) As much as we talk about books, sex stuff and men will always be part of this blog. So never fear, you dirty pervs. :P We are proud to be women who celebrate their sexuality and we do appreciate God’s gift of yummilicious men. *g* (Ohhh, thankee lord for the yummilicious men!)

Trollop, are you going to run for office? If so, will you admit to reading romance novels publicly?

Stay tuned, and why wouldn’t I admit it?

Harlot, did you really dump Brad Pitt?

Yes.

Who is Raoul? Who are Julio, Guido, Jack Koff and Gaylord Dookie?

Raoul is Harlot’s EXCLUSIVE LOVE PROPERTY forevah and eevaaaaah and that is the truth and nothing but the truth so help me Xenu and his Galactic Confederacy!!!

Now, *breathe* the others are Trollop’s Studasauruses:

Julio and Guido

Jack Koff and Gaylord Dookie

WTF? Why did you delete my comment?

a) You’re acting like a jackass, saying something offensive or disrespectful. We ask TBB commenters to be civil and nice. Flaming, belligerent debates, too nasty sarcasm are not welcome. Yes, at times we break these rules ourselves—sarcastic bitches that we are—but we live here.

b) You’re saying something that’s got nothing to do with the post the comment is made upon.

c) You’re being an ackflibbit. Damn, man! Speak a da Inglish!

d) We will NEVER allow vile type of behavior here. We have been incredibly blessed with warm-hearted smart readers that can voice their opinions, to either agree or disagree, in a graceful and classy way. But if ever the day comes in which to preserve what we have so painstakingly built, we need to erase, ban, kick-out or do whatever is in our power to do, we will do it with an iron fist—aye, even if it’s to a loved reader, author or blogger.

What is the purpose of the chatbox?

Chatbox is exactly that, a box for CHATTING. Or for some announcement, or when Harlot is missing again and Trollop is stuck in her gad-forsaken office where she has no MSGR. Chatbox is NOT the place to put in your comments. Sheesh.

Yo, I emailed you. How come you haven’t replied yet, you snobby bitches?!

Erm, apologies, we’re busy and fucking lazy. Or Trollop is somewhere flirting and Harlot is frolicking with Raoul. This is your chance to send us hate mails, heh. :P But please know that we do read every email we receive and we do think of you. Aye, really really!

Yoo hoo... Would you like to trade links?

Sorry, but no. In case you’re temporary blinded by our beauties, :P we don’t even have a blogroll. We’re self-centered bitches, aye. (We link people on our posts, though.)

Truth be told, Trollop wanted a blogroll but Harlot, ever the selfish one, didn’t want one. :/ (Well, it looks fugly and very cluttery! *hmph*) If we link someone, we have to link eeeeveryone so as to not hurt anyone’s feelings and that’s gonna be a list from here to freakin’ kingdom come! By then it’d be pointless because folks RARELY ever click a verra long blogroll (yep, we tested it), not to mention linking should be about quality and not reciprocation.

If you’d like to link us, we’d love that, thank you. Sounds hypocritical since we don’t trade links? Not really. As Bacchus puts it, a link is a compliment; a link exchange offer is a sneaky way of saying:

“I don’t really like your site enough to link to it. If I did, I’d already have your link up. But, even though your site isn’t worth linking to, I’ll do it anyway... if you’ll link back.”

Hubba hubba! Where did you find the picture you just posted? What’s the name of that scrumptious eye candy?!

Harlot: Since I’m the one who often post eye candy I’ll answer. Frankly I’m verra tired of this question—oh anguish, truly truly. *lesigh* If we have the source/link of something, we mention it. Every. Fucking. Time. Seriously!

Pictures are tricky, though. If you don’t see a link, it’s because I DON’T have one. I’ve been a perv downloading dirty stuff from the internet long before my blogging days. At the time it’s always been right-click-and-save, ya know? Now, in some cases, the link is in the freakin’ picture already.

As for the names of the studmuffins I’ve posted, honestly, dude, most of them I DO NOT KNOW. Please, oh please don’t hound me like a dog with a bone and piss me off; chances are even if I know it, I won’t say anything. Uh-hmm. I’m ebil like that. Sorry. Google, itz yoor frend.

Will you pritti please email me some porn/eye candy?

Fuck no. Google. Jeyzuz...

I’d like to put a button link to your blog on mine. Do you have one I could possibly use?

Sure, darlin’. You may use these:

**Any modification regarding FAQ-y stuff, changes will show in this section of the blog.

Labels: blog buggery, i am the uber best and you know it, nutella lovah, trollop and harlot’s stuff