Thursday, September 7, 2006

About the fabulous Book Bitches *wink*

Once upon a time there was a most beautiful bitch named Trollop. She’d been an avid reader all her life, finishing her first book in the summer between first and second grade, a children’s version of Around the World in Eighty Days by Jules Verne. There hasn’t been a time since then that she hasn’t been in the middle of reading a book or novel.

One day, she came upon a book titled Lady Be Good by Susan Elizabeth Phillips. It was the first time she’d read a romance novel and she absolutely loved it. This got her hooked on romance; however, most books that landed in her greedy little hands were a bunch of bullocks! She desperately wanted to share her frustrations with someone, but the only BB she was part of had a “no bashing books” policy which, though completely understandable, was freaking exasperating.

Enter the uber gorgeous Princess Harlot (that’s me! :D). Like Trollop, she too loved to read ever since she was a little heathen stealing books from her grandpa’s library. She discovered romance novels (through Judith McNaught’s Something Wonderful) almost at the same time Trollop did (both at the age of 21; coincidence, eh?); and like Trollop, she needed a place to vent about the crappy books she had the misfortune to read. Trollop then thought of a solution where the two of them could trash and bash, whine and rip apart any books they hated.

And so, The Book Bitches was created, thanks to Trollop’s endless babble about this or that book that “sucks so bad I’m seriously contemplating slicing my wrists instead of continuing to read this crap.” The original idea of purely reviewing—*cough* trashing *cough*—books all the time was discarded shortly after the blog first started. TBB is now a place for the two of them to talk about books, movies, TV shows—life in general, really, and there is, of course, tons of sex talk. It’s like having their very own shrink, without the exorbitant fees. *g*

Total number of posts: 334

First post: Our first article was posted on September 7. During that first month we only had 4 posts, in which the first 2 didn’t count because one was “test” and the second one a poem. It was Trollop’s “Holy Guacamole!” post on September 11 that really started us off.

First book review: “Holy Guacamole!” A very funny review, if I may so myself, of Sherrilyn Kenyon’s dreadful novel, Fantasy Lover.

First movie review: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. The other two are about In Her Shoes and The Da Vinci Code. There’s also one discussing whether or not the movies are as good as the books they were adopted from.

First eye candy: Harlot’s “Is there anything yummier than men who can cook?” But if you count Trollop’s review of one of People’s articles, then it would be “Trollop does sexiest men alive.”

First Bitchin’ News: November 30

First Book Watch: Every Breath You Take

First book cover snark:Books and their cover.” We only have three other posts of this kind anyway LOL: “Secret babies,” “The good, the bad and the fugly” and “Clinch covers.”

Total comments: 5615

First comment ever: That didn’t come from both of us LOL, was from Serendipity! Posted under Harlot’s “As a matter of fact...


Bored Bitchy Angel said...
My thoughts exactly! Hope the room is sound-proof! Big O should come with a big Scream!
11/07/2005 07:36:08 PM


Actually, were we to count anonymous readers, the very first comment would have been this one posted in “Bad books by good authors: Linda Howard”:


Anonymous said...
Sarah’s Child is the worst book written by beloved author Linda Howard. Can’t understand why people like this book. The hero refuses to be involved w/ heroine’s pregnancy in anyway. Well except for the conception. What an asshole. And Sarah should be on waiting list for those in need of a spine. They deserve each other. Gosh I feel so much better now...
10/19/2005 02:06:53 PM


Post with the most comments: We DON’T love a good fight as much as the next blog LOL, but sometimes you’ve no other choice but to put on the gloves and defend yourself. Hence, our infamous post that made hell freeze over at a particular BB *snort*: “Ding Dong, the bitch is dead.” (Trollop’s fun “Ch-ch-ch-cheating” post came a close second.)

Day with the most visitors evah: May 21, Sunday, 2389 visitors. We kid you not! Well this was the time when Harlot invited some *ahem* friends over to play with us. However, their idea of play was different from ours LOL. We actually had to ban some of them (told you about Harlot and her “ideas” yesterday!).

Most talked about book: Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling
Most bashed about book: Outlander by Diana Gabaldon
Most talked about sex stuff: Cock size, masturbation and sexual fantasies *g*

Little things:
  • Trollop’s favorite posts are The Bitchin’ News, though she seldom writes them (they are very time consuming).
  • Harlot edits all the posts to make them “pretty” and eye-catching.
  • Trollop edits all the posts for grammar and sentence structure.
  • Harlot gets all the pretty pictures added in the posts because Trollop is lazy to search and usually gets the ugly ones.
  • Trollop works on editing pictures and headers.
  • Harlot has taken over most of the template changes (Blogger hates poor Trollop!).
  • Trollop got her name from a Girlmore Girls episode where Lorelei is using a lipstick by the color of “Vicious Trollop.”
  • Harlot got her name because it sounds better than “Trollop.” :P
  • Trollop has a list a mile long of posts she wants to write about, but never gets to work on them and the list keeps growing and growing and growing.
Harlot: YOU list them? I have my own list but I also have to make sure I’ll make a list for Trollop. Seriously, she looses everything!—and she actually blames me when I “forget” what it is SHE should be writing about! Grrr.

Trollop: We don’t have a schedule for posts, or which of us has to post a specific day. We sort of play it by ear. I show Harlot all my works in progress but I only get to see hers when they are already finished and drafted. Grrr. It takes me a couple of hours to write most articles, and a bit more if I have to do research. Harlot writes a post in all of 5 seconds, and before I edit them, I have to tell you, they’re freaking LONG! How she does it is beyond me; takes me a fucking hour to write a paragraph LOL.

The Book Bitches started with four members: Bawdy Babe, Harlot, Tart and Vicious Trollop as contributors. Later on, two of our mates left us because of real life commitments; therefore, there are now only two fabulous bitches left: Harlot and Trollop. *wink*

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25 comment(s):

Blogger Jordis Juice said...

Oh wow, great post! And there's one of my favorite old articles, secret babies. I laughed my ass off reading that one! LOL

Good job, ladies!

9/07/2006 08:44:00 PM  

Blogger C Bradshaw said...

I agree with Hotmama, FABULOUS synopsis! It's also good I discovered some old posts that I didn't get to read before this. Like that Ding Dong one. Wow, had no idea. LOL (Trollop, I love In Her Shoes! Both book and movie! :D)

Great job, girls!

9/07/2006 09:30:00 PM  

Blogger C Bradshaw said...

By the way, for Jennifer Weiner fans, she has a new book just released the other day. "The Guy Not Taken". I'm trying to get a copy myself. LOL

9/07/2006 09:32:00 PM  

Blogger Serendipity said...

Awww, that brings back memory about that "Don't hold back" comment during you know....

9/07/2006 09:34:00 PM  

Blogger Serendipity said...

Outlander is a great book, Harlot is just too lazy and emtional to finish it!

Harlot, like I keep telling you, finish the damn book and you'll like it..damnit! :P

9/07/2006 09:44:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Jordis,
I love that post too! Too funny!


Hotmama,
Would love to be a writer LOL. But my grammar is far from perfect, not to mention my horrendous spelling! Also don't think anyone would buy a book from an author named Harlot. *sniff* Besides, what would i write about, cock size and masturbation? Er, hmm.. :P


Casey,
Thanks for that! Trollop loves JW. :) You know, just realized, have yet to see that movie!


Serendipity,
I shouldn't have posted that. *blush* But at the time, S didn't kow about blog, and no one's visiting yet! Oh well.. LOL

9/07/2006 09:45:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Serendipity,
I skipped some parts really. It's just too gross! And LOATE that Fraser. :/ But i finished it, don't know how LOL. Anyway, i am not reading it again!

9/07/2006 09:47:00 PM  

Blogger Dakota Cassidy said...

OMG--I just spent an hour deep into that JM post thing. Good GRAVY. Don't do that to me!!

I could not pull myself away. This makes me a goddip monger doesn't it? LOl. I mean, really--does it get any more Spinger-like than those bunch of poopy heads?

LOLLOL

Nice overview, girls!

Dakota :)

9/07/2006 09:53:00 PM  

Blogger Danielle De Barbarac said...

Great insight into how this fab blog started and some stats too. :D I forgot how much I love those naked chefs. LOL

Thanks Harlot and Trollop. You girls are the best! :D

9/07/2006 09:54:00 PM  

Blogger Dakota Cassidy said...

GOSSIP MONGER. for crap's sake!! Good hell, I cannot type without my nails. LMAO

DC :)

9/07/2006 10:03:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love reading the posts from the past couple of days. It's as if I'm an honorary bitch now =) knowing all these little tibits that you ladies are sharing.

Trollop can you give us that list? Maybe we can help you with your research! ;)

9/07/2006 10:03:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

OMG Dakota, if you've only seen when it's happening at the time, it was TOTALLY INSANE!!! Trollop and i will never be part of something like that again. (She said she'll shave my head if i get us into that big of a trouble again. :S She's evil!) It's just we didn't have a choice. And we only defended ourselves in front of everyone. Oh well. I just look at it this way, we actually took on a whole BB (of a popular author to boot--are we crazy or what? LOL) and for a short time, that post of ours made some changes over there. People behaved LOL. Not sure what they're doing now though. :/ Don't care really. LOL That's their problem already. :P

9/07/2006 10:04:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Yeah yeah, but you'll die having fun. :P

9/07/2006 10:27:00 PM  

Blogger Dakota Cassidy said...

Hotmamma, I have my own code of LIFE. LMAO. I have to get my nails done or I'm simply not up to par. I can't type without them. LOL

VT and H--holy smokers, that was something and it's always good to stand up for yourselves. It's very important--especially when it comes to your buds in life :)

DC :)

9/07/2006 10:38:00 PM  

Blogger Lollie Rose said...

Great synopsis, ladies. It's great reading all these details about the blog. Trollop, love that SK review and the clinch covers. Heh. And that masturbation post, loved it Harlot. Really, BBs, thank you for all the hours of fun and entertainment.

Dakota, goddip and spinger? Heh. :P

9/08/2006 12:47:00 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh thanks for the stats guys!

LOL, so that's where VT gets her nickname from!

And LOL about most bashed back! Poor Diana Gabaldon...when will she learn? She apparently hasn't read your comments re:her godawful series because she keeps writing those books! *g*

9/08/2006 05:10:00 AM  

Blogger Vanessa said...

Thank you ladies, great synopsis. This blog is part of my everyday life. I always count on you to brighten things up, and you always do. Wonderful job through out the year. :)

9/08/2006 08:43:00 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great job! Like Aggie said, this shows all the hours, days, and a year of entertainment and laughters you have given us. Thank you, girls. You BBs are the best.

Olly

9/08/2006 09:36:00 AM  

Blogger Girlie said...

Harlot, I am on your post! Yeah! Really? I am going to go and celebrate now!

9/08/2006 10:16:00 AM  

Blogger Isabella said...

Great synopsis. Trollop, I knew I've heard that name somewhere! :P Harlot, I love making lists too, it's a compulsion of sort. LOL. Love the little tidbits, showing how you two run the blog. Thanks BBs. :)

9/08/2006 10:25:00 AM  

Blogger maximo said...

ladies, i'm so sorry. i meant to call. really! but i just got so wrapped up in other stuffish.* do you think you could ever forgive me?



* no need to thank me!

p.s.--seriously, what about the former other two of you? whatever happened there that sounds like blogospheric juiciness! i kid you not, my memory looks like the scrapbook of a jilted lover who's cut the heads off the pics of the ex. enquiring minds want to know, you know?! (just kidding. i'm just being nosey. unless there was some lesboeroticism involved--in which case, spill!)

9/08/2006 10:27:00 AM  

Blogger Lily Moon said...

Great synopsis. This is good especially for new visitors like me. I have to admit I never peruse archives and have never seen many of the old posts. I really liked the "Secret Babies" lol! Trollop, I agree with you about TBVC. I think Angels and Demons is a better book anyway. Harlot, love your masturbation post - so true lol. :P Thanks BBs. You girls rock!!!

9/08/2006 10:43:00 AM  

Blogger Ladybug said...

I love this synopsis. It shows how fab this blog is and how it has grown throughout the year, just keeps getting better and better. Thank you Trollop and Harlot for all the laughs and please, for all our sakes, don't stop bitchin'! :D

9/08/2006 11:13:00 AM  

Blogger Ladybug said...

CB, I just ordered "The Guy Not Taken". Love JW! And Harlot, you should see the movie. Good chick flick. LOL

9/08/2006 11:16:00 AM  

Blogger Polly King said...

Great synopsis!
Thanks BBs.

9/08/2006 03:39:00 PM