Wednesday, August 8, 2007

What what in the butt?

I was talking to Trollop’s dad a while ago and he mentioned some exercises that will ease back pains. You see, my poor babe’s back is hurting again (god knows what trollopy things she’s been doing :/) and since I’ve been told by insensitive ingrates that my massages feel like karate chop-chops, *hmph* I thought I’d google some helpful stuff.

Now, listen here, you dirty-minded heathens. Before I continue, I want to make something clear: my intention is PURE and TRUE (truly, truly!) and it’s nothing but to help Trollop out; I SWEAR... I have nooooo idea how or why I ended up looking at bizarre butt plugs!!!

I highly advocate masturbation and the use of BOBs, buttt since I’m not into butt plugs—and anyone who even thinks of inserting something up my cutie little (at least that’s the rumor ;)) bottom will be kicked out of my bed—I never gave any thought about them. It never occurred to me that there’s a complete wacky world of butt plugs out there for me to discover LOL.

Honestly... devil, pony, fox, peacock tail butt plugs? Hee. *g* There’s even a Celebrity Butt Plug! (“Hurry up, luv. Insert Brad Pitt up my arse...” *batts eyelashes*) And what about that Extreme Anal Jewelry, the butt plug of the rich and famous? I heard the “size, shape and weight of this beauty have made all of the other plugs obsolete.” :P BUTT, ohhh, here are my, er, favorites:



According to Subby Hubby—who I truly believe is utterly reliable (his name rhymes, ya know; I’m putty in poet’s, um, hands :/)—Anal Ring Toss is the bestest...


My wife and i bought this and we love it, she put it in and me and my friends threw a couple of rings. After that i put it in and her friends played, with a slite twist, my hands were tied to my feet, they bet money on who would win, and they had a steel studded paddle. In the event of anger, my ass functions as a anger/stress reliver.



You: Sweetiebuns, it’d be kinda hot if you dress as a pig, with piggy ears and piggy nose and curly tail and then crawl around...
Pig Lover: Yeah?
You: Mm-hmm. The Pig Tail Butt Plug alone would make me hot. Fuck me all piggy. Snorting. And then I can huff and puff and blow you. *rarr* I mean... *oink*oink*



Is your lover dying to do the bunny hop for you? Why, whatcha waitin’ for? Get the Bunny Tail Butt Plug and he/she will surely hop like a floppity, hoppity, rabbity bunny! Besides, isn’t this like THE CUTEST butt plug evah? Seriously. Say it isn’t so and I’ll call you a liar. :P




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26 comment(s):

Anonymous Ollenska said...

OMG hahahaha I couldn't breathe from laughing! The video is hilarious and that Hubby Subby... lol

I have to admit the bunny butt plug is cute. I'm not into butt plugs either but nonetheless, it is very cute.

Oink oink. lol! Thanks for the laugh BB.

Olly

8/08/2007 02:24:00 PM  

Blogger Pepper-Anne Doty said...

Oh. My. God.

That stuff is just freaky! Seriously...a butt plug that looks like a pig tail?!?! I don't understand the anal thing...sort of grosses me out, but hey, to each his own, right?

8/08/2007 02:48:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

my back hurts in a way that its even painful to type and even read, so I might not have gotten this right, but my dad told you to look up butt plugs to help with my horrible back ache?!?!

Will go have pain killes now.

Babe, my msgr is crazy again. Skype me.

8/08/2007 03:29:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Of course he did not. *rollseyes*

His remedy: exercise.
Mine: (well, what google told me) butt plugs, apparently. :/ So babe, which one do you prefer? I'll get you one, for your back of course.


Pepper,
I know! Then add the piggy ears and snout, and.. ack. Well, if that gives you loads of orgasms, um, good for you i suppose. :P


Olly,
I don't know what's up with Subby Hubby but i have a feeling he loves it LOL.

8/08/2007 04:06:00 PM  

Blogger Vanessa said...

OMG! The pig tail is a little disturbing. The anal toss ring is funny I guess and the bunny one.... ok it's cute. But even if it is cute, no butt plug for me please!

8/08/2007 05:12:00 PM  

Blogger Rachel said...

OMG! The video was hilarious!!

The buttplugs, cute but.. errr no thanks. I'm curious though, do they sell these babies with matching animal ears? *G*

8/08/2007 05:23:00 PM  

Blogger Rachel said...

You know BB, I only find out about things like this (as ridiculous as they are sometimes) through your blog. You are the best. Rock on ladies.

8/08/2007 05:26:00 PM  

Blogger Mailyn said...

I'm with you on this one, nothing is going up my ass. Ever. Funny, my cousin, his gf and I were just having this discussion last weekend. She said it was OK and that she liked it and I just couldn't get past the pain. Not once did she reassured me that it wouldn't hurt so yeah, I'm not convinced I'm ever trying this. Besides, there are already tons of other fun things to do. LOL.

8/08/2007 05:33:00 PM  

Blogger Petra said...

LOL. I think my husband will have a heart attack if I ask him if he wants a butt plug.

How is butt plug comfortable? Really, I'm curious because just the thought of something up my ass makes me wince. It must be very painful.

Trollop, hope you feel better soon!

8/08/2007 06:16:00 PM  

Blogger Alexiev said...

Que lindas images... y que buenas cosas tenes... Great Blog...

Best regards...

Saludos desde Buenos Aires...

http://www.alexiev.com.ar

8/08/2007 06:30:00 PM  

Anonymous Kristal said...

Like other sex toys, it takes time to get used to butt plugs. With some patience and a good lubricant, it can be very satisfying. Some people even wear it comfortably for hours, even out in public. It's all about control -- satisfaction for the wearer knowing he has achieved control; satisfaction for the master knowing he has the ability to control.

Word to the wise: lubricant.

- K -

8/08/2007 06:48:00 PM  

Blogger Lollie Rose said...

OMG. LOL!

Anal sex isn't for me. It grosses me out. How could it be sanitary when one of the most disgusting thing from a human's body comes out of there? Iiiick

8/08/2007 07:54:00 PM  

Blogger Tara Champagne Dean said...

Now personally that kind of thing isn't for me. But, power to you if you like it.

Girls, if your boyfriend is pressuring you to do this sort of thing, let me give you a little piece of advice that I learned at Sex Week when I lived in Campus. IF HE WANTS TO STICK SOMETHING IN YOUR BUTT, HE BETTER SURE AS HELL BE WILLING TO HAVE SOMETHING SHOVED UP HIS BUTT! Fair is fair, right?

That video though made me laugh soooo hard! He reminds me of someone from my old job...ha, ha. So that is even more hilariouis to picture.

Instead of pin the tail on the donkey it's pin the stick up the ass of the donkey...:P

8/08/2007 09:24:00 PM  

Blogger Aradia said...

Just one word: Iiiiiiiiiiick!
why should anyone want to have a tail? Even a cute bunny tail?

8/08/2007 11:05:00 PM  

Blogger Duvy said...

Okay, yes, I will admit that the bunny tail is cute, but the others just kinda make me wanna cover my bum and run for the hills. Just looking at them gives me the chills, and not in the good way. It just seems so uncomfortable! >.<

8/08/2007 11:23:00 PM  

Blogger QB said...

Ya know, I just read one of those useless trivia lists and it said that a pig's orgasm can last up to 30 minutes.

So maybe the piggie plug idea isn't that far-fetched, huh?

:D

8/08/2007 11:54:00 PM  

Blogger December/Stacia said...

How strange and out-of-control is your life, that your husband and his friends put a stick in your butt and force you to kneel while they toss rings over it.

I would think it was a BDSM thing but then she and her friends did it to him.

Imagine getting that phone call.

8/09/2007 05:02:00 AM  

Blogger Jordis Juice said...

I'm with December. I just cannot believe anyone would let themselves be humiliated like that, to insert a butt plug in your ass and then let your husband's FRIENDS toss rings over it. Gaah!

The bunny tail made me smile. LOL Am I sick? :P Though behind the fluffiness, it is still a butt plug and there is no way I'm inserting one inside me.

Laughed my head off with that video!

8/09/2007 07:57:00 AM  

Anonymous karamia said...

Oh Good Lawd, I had tears from laughing. Who are these people that do this stuff?

And Jordis---"to insert a butt plug in your ass and then let your husband's FRIENDS toss rings over it. Gaah!"

LMAO, Instead of playing washers or lawn bowling at your next bbq with friends, pull that game out! Would certainly give the neighbors something to talk about.

I cannot beleive the things on this blog sometimes ;) Hilarious

8/09/2007 01:42:00 PM  

Anonymous ~Cassie~ said...

OHMYGOD I can't stop laughing. Thank you for this :-)

8/09/2007 05:54:00 PM  

Blogger Lily Moon said...

OMG! LMAO!

Is there a wolf butt plug for Jacob Black? I am still peeved at what he did.

8/09/2007 07:29:00 PM  

Anonymous Katriona said...

HAHAHA You girls are hilarious (-:

8/10/2007 11:21:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Lily, LOL! I think Dance might have an issue with that. :P

Tara said it; if he wants to put something up your ass, he better be ready to shove something up his. But gah, nothing is going up mine. Evah.

Katriona, thanks and welcome. :)

8/11/2007 09:49:00 AM  

Anonymous Ollenska said...

I can't get over how funny this video is. lol

Olly

8/11/2007 05:52:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

how would all you know that hurts----------(0.o)(XD)PS. it wouldn't hurt if you didn't you a freakishly huge buttplug. You can buy smaller ones and tha'll be much more comfortable and will be orgasmic just buy one bout 2" in with and 4" in length, and go to town with it. You'll thank me later if you aren't sure about this, get a waterballon lube it, insert and fill it up inside of you, it feels great and then you know your max size + a great sensation don't forget lube (patrollem {visene}jelly works great if u don't want to go to a sex shoppe) and + who hasnt stuck a finger in there ass?

6/25/2008 01:53:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

i want to comment im a male and i love my plug...lube its what you need and if my girl will take it there then ill let her do me in return...i feels good.

8/14/2008 08:34:00 PM