1. Reality TV show that you can watch for hours on end?
We use our TV for watching DVDs and the occasional old skool VHS tape but we don’t have it hooked up to cable. This wasn’t any sort of grand statement against the medium or anything, I just never bothered to contact the cable company when we moved here. As such, I don’t watch any reality TV shows regularly, though my husband and I have totally gotten into Lost on DVD, which means that we’re having heated debates (“WHAT’S IN THE HATCH???”) that the rest of the world was having like, two years ago.
But not having a TV at home has had an odd affect on my viewing habits. Instead of elevating my tastes, I’m seduced by the crassest, most barrel-scraping reality TV shows imaginable. My in-laws own a huge HDTV equipped with a satellite network of more than 300 stations, and when I couch in front of it, I don’t discriminate. On my last visit, I got totally sucked into an all-day marathon of Monique’s Charm School. And the other night, I stayed up past my bedtime so I could watch those skanks battle for Brett Michaels on Rock of Love. I was mad at myself for not having it in me to stay awake late enough to watch the second episode of Scott Baio is 45... and Single. (I had watched the first episode for free at home via iTunes. Oh man, Erin Moran. Time has been so very unkind. And is it me, or does Henry Winkler sound like the um... anti-Fonz?) Fortunately for me, I wasn’t around for the premiere of two Coreys trainwreck because I would have watched it and I would have loved it.
2. CD you sing to in your car?
I always play music when I’m writing. In the acknowledgments page for Fourth Comings, I thank Justin Timberlake for “brining the sexy back during the intense revisions phase.” I am not joking about this. Justin Timberlake (solo, not with *NSYNC, though occasionally with other artists like Snoop Dogg on hip-hop collaborations) got me through those rewrites. For four weeks, it was all JT all the time. I even listened to JT in the car on the way to and from picking my son up from school, and it wasn’t long before he was singing along with me. Fortunately, my four year old misheard the words and sang, “I’m bringing sexy back/(yeah!)/Those other truckers don’t know how to act...” instead of the real, X-rated lyrics. This was almost as priceless as when he decided to sing Amy Winehouse—“They tried to make me go to rehab and I said NO! NO! NO!”—at the library. Or this other time.
3. Snack food that you would eat in bed?
I don’t eat in bed. The bed is for reading, sleeping, and intimate activities with one’s partner. That said, I need chocolate every day, usually after lunch. If I don’t get my hands on some Snickers minis, or those Ghiradelli dark chocolate squares with caramel in the middle, I go mental. I can’t concentrate until I get my fix.
4. Musical that you have always wanted to star in?
I always wanted to be Rizzo in Grease.
5. Car that you ogle?
I don’t ogle cars. At best, I really could care less about cars, and at worst I despise them. My husband has been driving the same tiny teal Ford Escort that he bought with his first grown-up paycheck ten years ago. I drive a dinged up Honda Accord that we bought when I found out I was pregnant. We will continue to drive these cars until the engines drop out or the wheels fall off or the motors wheeze and die when we stick the keys in the ignition. Status cars mystify me.
6. Websites you visit every day?
Bluefly.com. I do almost all my clothes shopping online. If you see me at an event and you like my dress, I can almost guarantee I bought it at a steep discount on Bluefly. My mother taught me to never pay full price for anything, which was torture in seventh grade and I rilly, rilly wanted that Forenza sweatshirt at The Limited. But now I appreciate her shopping savvy. I love bargains. I love bargains to the point where I’m kind of tacky about it and if you tell me you love my dress at an event I’ll say, “I know! I got it on Bluefly! The suggested retail price was $300! I got it for $99! I’m awesome! High-five me!”
Gawker.com. I have a love/hate relationship with Gawker. Sometimes the snark is good for a belly laugh. Other times the snark just turns my stomach, especially if I know the target of the snark personally. And yet, I keep coming back. I have similar-yet-different love/hate relationships with Star magazine (tacky but entertaining) and the NYT Styles section (annoying but annoying in a way that sometimes amuses me).
Gofugyourself.com. I want to go out for drinks with Heather and Jessica. Hilarious. And they are as obsessed with 90210 as I am.
7. Something you’ve always wanted to do but are to embarrassed or nervous to try?
While I’m very well traveled throughout the United States and have visited Mexico and the Carribbean, I’ve never been anywhere in Europe besides a three-day weekend in London. (Sidebar: My college a cappella group, the Clefhangers performed on the QEII from NY to London. We opened for BINGO. Just to clarify, that’s the game with the numbers and letters, not an obscure boy band. BINGO opened for Regis Philbin.) I was way too poor to go in college, even backpacker-style. Then I started working and didn’t have nearly enough vacation days. Then I quit my job, but was busy writing my books. Then my husband and I planned—and canceled—a trip to Spain that would have departed two weeks after 9/11. Then I had a baby, who is now a very active pre-schooler whom I can’t imagine bringing on a Trans-Atlantic flight. I am very embarrassed about my lack of international travel. It makes me feel so... uncultured or something, especially since many of our friends are the types who think nothing of hopping on a plane and jetting to say, Burma for a holiday. I’m determined to visit a friend in Norway in 2008. But I have my fifth book to write....
This brings this guest bitching to its end. Thanks for having me.