Sunday, July 29, 2007

The most fuckable literary crumpet


I was reading the comments in my letter to the insensitive warts who have defiled *grrr* the sacred name of my one and only uber true love, and I thought, hey, we should have a little survey! :D

Huh? Of course not to gather names of other gits I should run through with my trusted pitchfork, sheesh... but to ask you, luvlee TBB readers, who you think is the HOTTEST, YUMMILICIOUS, SWOONSOME hero you’ve ever yearned to clasp to your heaving bosoms. Aye, the hero soooo fuckable you can’t help but be tempted to rip your corset and pounce on his tight breeches like a starved Cookie Monster attacking girl scout cookies.

I’ll go first. (But you know about him already. :P) I have a list of “to die for” heroes (Alexander Barrington, Phin Tucker, Edward Cullen...) and other honorable mentions—but even if I’m dead drunk out of my wits and couldn’t even talk, I would do my bestest to sign language using my FEET just to let the world know Matt Farrell is MY man. Oh, my love, my darling... I hunger for your touch... He is IT for me. I do, Matt—I doooooooo!!! The father of my imaginary children, the husband of my dreams, the passionate lover who has given me Paradise... *sniffles* Oh, MAAATTHEEEEWWWWW!!!!!

Er, *ahem* where were we? Oh. Right. So what about you? *g* BTW, if you haven’t seen it yet, here’s the top 10 literary crumpets list from the Telegraph. Dunno, might help you heathens decide. :/ (I know this was from last year but it’s the latest one I could find. I operate on my own time here, anyway! *hmph*)


1. Mr. Rochester, Jane Eyre: irresistibly high bastard factor.

2. Sydney Carton, A Tale of Two Cities: cynical romantic who makes the ultimate sacrifice for love.

3. Mr. Darcy, Pride and Prejudice: paradigm of repressed emotion—just add water.

4. Rupert Campbell-Black, Riders, Polo and assorted other Jilly Cooper novels: yestosterone-charged stallion of the shires.

5. Rhett Butler, Gone with the Wind: handsome, dashing and gloriously perverse.

6. Yuri Zhivago, Dr. Zhivago: sensitive soul who loses his love in a cold climate.

7. Tom Jones, Tom Jones: rambunctious combination of virtue and vice.

8. Heathcliff, Wuthering Heights: bad and mad—what more could a woman want?

9. Sharpe, Bernard Cornwell’s Sharpe series: Napoleonic swashbuckler with a gleam in his eye.

10. Daniel Cleaver, Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason: wolfishly seductive, should have got the girl.


P.S. Please, Outlander Nutters, don’t even think of “let’s bombard Harlot with ‘Jamie Fraser is the best hero evaaah’ till her teeth hurt”! *grrr*

**Editing to add (as requested by Babz): Apparently, you are all greedy when it comes to heroes!—like me LOL. :P If you can’t decide which crumpet you’d like to drool over forever ever more, feel free to categorize them. I.e. historical, contemporary, paranormal, etc. ;)

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50 comment(s):

Blogger Babz said...

Oh Harlot you are ebil, bewy bewy ebil.

Do I have to give 10 or just one? If I can only have one, it's a throwdown between :

Jericho Barrons from Karen Marie Moning's Fever series.
Drake Vireo from Katie Macalister's Aisling Grey series.

Do we get to separate, you know, historical, fantasy or contemporary heroes? HOW CAN YOU MAKE ME CHOOSE??

7/29/2007 04:21:00 PM  

Blogger Jordis Juice said...

LOL at that picture but why is Daniel Cleaver in that list?

Now, the best hero ever... I'm with Babz, this is a hard call to make. I love so many heroes that it's hard to choose which one is the best.

Mmmmmm... If I have to choose, I think it's a toss between Derek Craven (Lisa Kleypas' Dreaming of You) and Bobby Tom (SEP's Heaven Texas). Ah too many yummy heroes!

7/29/2007 04:29:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Babz LOL, yes, feel free to categorize them if you please. :P

7/29/2007 04:36:00 PM  

Anonymous Desiree said...

Mr. Rochester is right! Did you see Jayne Eyre on Masterpiece Theatre? It was fantastic!

7/29/2007 04:55:00 PM  

Anonymous Desiree said...

I just mispelled the title of one of my favorite books. Jane Eyre.

7/29/2007 05:00:00 PM  

Blogger Vanessa said...

Harlot, you crack me up. lol

What about Marc Chastain of Linda Howard's Kill and Tell? Oh! Ranger from Janet Evanovich's Plum series! What a man!

7/29/2007 05:32:00 PM  

Blogger Danielle De Barbarac said...

I'm surprised no one has mentioned Mark from Lisa Valdez's Passion. :P

7/29/2007 06:31:00 PM  

Blogger Jordis Juice said...

Danielle, admit it, you only like Mark because of his big schlong. ;)

7/29/2007 07:03:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Ohgod, Mark and his famous big cock LOL. We have a couple of posts dedicated to him actually. ;P

The big cock theory
His ever throbbing manroot

7/29/2007 07:07:00 PM  

Blogger Danielle De Barbarac said...

I am hurt you think I am that shallow. Mark has other endearing qualities! It is not just his big penis :P

7/29/2007 08:03:00 PM  

Blogger ...dance? said...

1. Dean Winchester (yes, so awesome, he counts too)
2. Jack Morgan (Kate Shugak series by Dana Stabenow)
3. Scott Summers (do comic books count?)
4. Robin Hood
5. Calvin O'Keefe
6. Ian Murray, the younger (Outlander series)
7. Tor (The Hero and the Crown, Robin McKinley)
8. Mel (Sunshine)
9. Ben Stirling (The Keeping Days series)
10. Nat Eaton (yes, still him)

... Was I only supposed to pick one?

7/29/2007 09:11:00 PM  

Blogger Menchie said...

Ooooh! Love this post!

Here are mine:not in any particular order

- Adam Black and Dageus from karen Marie Moning's highlander series.
- Phin Tucker from WTT and Cal from Bet Me
- Mark from Passion

It's freaking difficult to choose!

7/29/2007 09:27:00 PM  

Blogger Lorelei said...

I don't understand why Mr. Darcy is so popular. He's a bit of a cold fish if you ask me. I prefer Captain Wentworth over him.

Other heroes I love:

-- Llewelyn Farr (Here Be Dragons)
-- Rhett Butler (Gone With the Wind)
-- Batman (comics is still part of the written world)
-- Jamie Fraser (Outlander, me running away from Harlot!)

7/29/2007 09:42:00 PM  

Blogger Lorelei said...

Dance, you are cheating! I know there are Charmed and Buffy books but are there Supernatural books?

Menchie, I have yet to read Karne Marie but I keep reading about this Adam Black. Her books are paranormal, yes?

7/29/2007 09:47:00 PM  

Blogger Pepper-Anne Doty said...

Conner Ford in Nicholas Evans' The Smoke Jumper. He is described as not so good looking, but to me there is just something about a man with big muscles that sky dives into forest fires to put them out!!

7/29/2007 09:51:00 PM  

Blogger mallymoodle said...

Argh! I couldn't decide who I liked *best* but here's a basic list

Daemon & Saetan (Black Jewels Trilogy) - yes, I'd do the Father-Son combo in this case :P
Mark Darcy (Bridget Jones) - much more human than Mr Darcy
Dean Winchester (Supernatural) - doesn't matter if there are books or not, he's in the list!
Cal Morrisey (Bet Me) - charm boy
Alexander Barrington/Belov (TBH trilogy) - yes even when he turns bastard in TSG, I forgive him everything!
Batman/Ranger - They are the same person!
Simon Basset (The Duke and I) - mathematics geek
Mark (Passion) - big schlong...I'll give it a try!
Edward Cullen - *sigh*
Leonidas, King of Sparta - oooh, spartan men...

Hell, that was hard to choose

7/29/2007 10:55:00 PM  

Blogger mallymoodle said...

Oh shit, how could I forget Alain Montclair (The Suitor)?!?!

7/29/2007 10:56:00 PM  

Blogger Menchie said...

Lorelei,
Yes, KMM's Highlander series is a paranormal. Adam Black makes my toes curl!

7/29/2007 11:15:00 PM  

Blogger Duvy said...

Okay, this post appears to be yet another reminder that I need to read more! I've barely heard of any of these men (or books for that matter!)

I'm havin a hard time thinking of anyone to list. My opinions of heroes are mostly dependent on if they've been portrayed in a movie. Otherwise, I just haven't run into anyone that makes me want to drool all over my books.

Granted, Edward Cullen (*sigh*) sounds like a helluva catch (I bought and finished New Moon in 2 days!), but I mostly just love reading about the interactions between him and Bella.

I suppose Severus Snape (even though he's not the *real* hero of HP) if only because of his irresistible snarkiness.

And, wlel, Dorian Gray in The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Let's face it, old world + immortal = mmmmmm. Even more so if I get to see him played by Stuart Townsend (GOD I love goatees)!

Guess I'm just an illiterate heathen who needs someone here to convince me to buy more books :D

7/30/2007 05:29:00 AM  

Blogger Duvy said...

Oh God, how could I have forgotten Gilbert Blythe. Every time I read about him I totally swoon in my seat. I want T_T

7/30/2007 05:35:00 AM  

Blogger Jolie said...

I see you ladies have included Edward Cullen. Somehow I feel a little embarrassed that I covet this 17-year old boy, LOL. He is unbelievably hot and so dreamy but way too young for me. We live in a cruel world. (sniff)

So I have to say...

Mark Darcy - Bridget Jones' Diary
Royce Westmoreland - A Kingdom of Dreams

7/30/2007 06:29:00 AM  

Blogger Jolie said...

Pepper-Anne, I like Nicholas Evans but I was disappointed with Smoke Jumper. I thought The Horse Whisperer was much better.

Duvy, Severus Snape? LOL. I guess I can see the attraction ;). He made me cry. Incredibly loyal, loved Lily all his life... I'll pick Bill Weasley though or one of the twins.

7/30/2007 06:36:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Danielle,
What endearing qualities are you thinking of? How he's good at, er, using his cock? :P


Dance,
I knew someone would mention Nat Eaton. :P His on my list too but i might have to agree with Jolie on this one. I mean, i feel it's itty bitty wrong of me to lust after such young men! Yeah, Edward is the exception since he's not really 17, isn't he?


Lorelei,
I have to agree with this. Mr Darcy is a cold fish. Plus, he can't even decide if he really likes Elizabeth or not! He did wonderful things though, and it's all because and only for her. I suppose that makes up for it.

7/30/2007 07:11:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Pepper-Anne Doty,
Welcome. :D Not a fan of Nicholas Evans. :/ Neither of Nicholas Sparks. Here's why.


Mallymoodle,
Father-son combo? Please tell me not at the same time LOL. Never heard of the Black Jewels trilogy or The Suitor? This is good, i'm getting some recommendations as well.

I loooove Cal. There are times i like him more than Phin because, really, he's the best. I just love the way he loves Min. *sigh*

I love Batman too. The eternal dark knight; what's not to love. Though i fear every woman who falls in love with him gets her heart broken in many many ways, continuously... :(

I love Simon!


Duvy,
What can you say about New Moon? Have you read the first chapter of Eclipse already?

Snape? LOL! I suppose he is, er, a catch. I mean, extremely loyal, faithful and a one-woman man. And i do love sarcasm and a bit evilness. *blush* Heh. ;P

Dorian Grey? Isn't that a movie? First Dance cheats with Dean, then Mallymoodle, then you! We're talking about books here, people!

7/30/2007 07:24:00 AM  

Anonymous Angela Low said...

Douglas from The Sherbrook Bride

Cal Bonner From NBBM By SEP

Mark From Passion

Trevor Sheridan from Lions and Lace

And Yes Trollop He is MINE
Calder Hart from The Deadly Series

Kell Kreiger Hidden Agenda's

Clint McIntyre Dangerous Games

And because I'm becoming a Prev in my old age or is it just from visiting here LOL.
TWO men yes I said TWO men John McCoy And Jethro yes I said Jethro Riggs From Lora Leigh's Forbidden
Pleasure.

Angela

7/30/2007 07:48:00 AM  

Blogger Babz said...

Contemporary novel: Cosmo Richter from Suzanne Brockmann's Hot Target. Navy SEALS anyone?
Historical: Sebastian St.Vincent from Lisa Kleypas' Devil in Winter.
Fantasy/paranormal: Er, still can't decide between Jericho and Drake :/
Movie world: Gerard Butler. Seen this man when I was 15, and I was lost.
TV: Craig Ferguson. Now don't look at me that way. Yes I have a thing for Scots, who doesn't?

Honorable mention: Eric Bana and Adrien Brody.

7/30/2007 03:40:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

You are all cheating! Actors are not included! LOL

Fine. Well, i only want my Raoul. But, um, if he'll let me, top picks: Gerry Butler and Aragorn in the LOTR movies. *sigh*

Angela, i looove dirty Calder. Oh my.

7/30/2007 04:20:00 PM  

Blogger Isabella said...

Jamie Fraser! LOL! And Jason Fielding (Once and Always).

7/30/2007 04:36:00 PM  

Blogger Danielle De Barbarac said...

Speaking of Diana Gabaldon, has anyone read her newest book Lord John and the Brotherhood of the Blade? What about the second one? Lord John and the Hand of the Devils?

7/30/2007 06:14:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd tap Ranger from the Plum series! Hot, military, hispanic, alpha-male?!? OMG, I'm drooling and want one of my very own.

P.S. That is why I'm starting to hate the Plum series. Quit with the mind fuck of getting so close to Ranger getting a piece then backing off before he does! While Janet is at it, why not sit a fat kid in a room with floor to ceiling junk food and tell him not to touch it! Crazy bitch.

GWB

7/30/2007 06:15:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ok, yes to Edward Cullen and I'm surprised no one said Acheron "Ash" Parthenopaeus!


GWB

7/30/2007 06:39:00 PM  

Blogger Ladybug said...

Sam Starrett! From the Trobleshooter series, and Zsadist from Lover Awakened.

7/30/2007 07:12:00 PM  

Blogger Ladybug said...

LOL GWB, you're right about Janet! Actually, I think the Plum series has to end already. Let Stephanie and Ranger to be together and everyone would be happy.

7/30/2007 07:15:00 PM  

Blogger Babz said...

Ladybug, I almost picked Sam Starret instead of Cosmo, really I almost did, but it came down to which book I like more, and Cosmo's it.

And WHY are actors not allowed, Harlot?? >:( In that case, hands off my Gerry! lol

7/30/2007 07:40:00 PM  

Anonymous Ollenska said...

I totally agree about Heatcliff. Bad, mad and yummy.

The best hero for me: Luke Costello on Marian Keyes' Rachel's Holiday. Thanks to BBC, I was introduced to this wonderful man!

Olly

7/30/2007 07:53:00 PM  

Anonymous Ollenska said...

Oh yes, Ash! Thanks GWB. How could I forget him? Him too. lol

Olly

7/30/2007 07:55:00 PM  

Anonymous Kirstin said...

What about JR Ward's BDB boys? I love Zsadist ^.^

7/30/2007 08:06:00 PM  

Blogger Lorelei said...

Everyone likes Ward's Brotherhood. I think SK's Dark Hunters series is so much better. With that said, add Zarek and Ash on my list! :)

7/30/2007 09:46:00 PM  

Blogger mallymoodle said...

Hi Harlot

The Black Jewels trilogy are by Anne Bishop. It's more fantasy than romance but there's a strong romance theme. AAR (if you read their reviews) gave the books B, B+, A. I'm not sure if I'd do Daemon (main hero) and Saetan (his father) at the same time...tag team? :P

The Suitor is by Sandy Hingston. Alain is a charming asshole with a heart of gold. Apparently people either loved or hated it.

7/30/2007 09:51:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

Ladybug,

Sam Starret?!?!?! Please say it isn't so *sniff* I read that book under false pretenses; people kept saying Sam was hot and like the best hero ever so I was curious and read it... And....errr... well.... errr... mmmmm....he was so not!

I will keep my comments on jamie fraser to myself seeing as I'm in the minority here and fear being stoned to death LOL

Now for my men:

Cal from Bet ME
Calder Heart from the Deadly series (that guy is so fucking intense pun very much intended LOL)
Phin Tucker from Welcome to temptation (rawrrrrr H.O.T. hot)
Ian Thorton from Almost Heaven: He's almost as rich/cute/adorable/sexy/wonderful as Matt is. Luuurve him and how he saves Elizabeth (who is an idiot!) :)

7/31/2007 04:41:00 AM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

Ladybug,

Sam Starret?!?!?! Please say it isn't so *sniff* I read that book under false pretenses; people kept saying Sam was hot and like the best hero ever so I was curious and read it... And....errr... well.... errr... mmmmm....he was so not! LOL

I will keep my comments on jamie fraser to myself seeing as I'm in the minority here and fear being stoned to death LOL

Now for my men:

Cal from Bet ME
Calder Hart from the Deadly series (that guy is so fucking intense pun very much intended LOL)
Phin Tucker from Welcome to temptation (rawrrrrr H.O.T. hot)
Ian Thorton from Almost Heaven: He's almost as rich/cute/adorable/sexy/wonderful as Matt is. Luuurve him and how he saves Elizabeth (who is an idiot!) :)
And of course, Matt Farrell, but that goes w/o saying seeing as I mention him in half my post and comments :P

7/31/2007 04:48:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Am i the only one who doesn't like those idiot BDB K-Fed wannabes???

Mallymoodle, thanks. I'll check it out. :)

7/31/2007 08:09:00 AM  

Blogger Lollie Rose said...

Trollop, how could you hate Sam? I love him... and Ian Thornton from Almost Heaven, hot!

7/31/2007 10:46:00 AM  

Blogger ...dance? said...

Am i the only one who doesn't like those idiot BDB K-Fed wannabes???

Hee! I can't take them very seriously at all. So the hotness factor just goes way down, even though they're supposed to be hot.

Dorian Grey? Isn't that a movie? First Dance cheats with Dean

I'm pretty sure Dorian Grey was in a book first -- "The Picture of Dorian Grey" by Oscar Wilde?? Does that ring any bells? (I didn't just make that up, right?)

And Dean Winchester so counts! He reads!

Speaking of Diana Gabaldon, has anyone read her newest book Lord John and the Brotherhood of the Blade? What about the second one? Lord John and the Hand of the Devils?

I didn't think they were out until August or September (possibly November?).

7/31/2007 04:42:00 PM  

Blogger Babz said...

LOL Trollop. I guess my defense for liking SB is because her book is one of the 1st romance I ever read. I agree the story is sometimes confusing and it goes on.. and on.. and on.. which is why I read one book and I take a break. A looong break.

I nod heartily to your opinion about Sam though - no offense to anyone who likes him, I myself do, he was attractive in many books but then his own book.. sizzled. I don't get Alyssa too, really I don't. all I can say is, you sleep with a guy consciously, take responsibility, don't go crying in the morning. And she enjoyed the sex too!! I don't. Get her.

And everybody back off - any vampire with the initial Z is mine :D

7/31/2007 05:28:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Dance, LOL love that pic! You know i don't think Dean is reading, he's just looking at some naked girl's picture. :P I miss Supernatural...

Anyway, i'm thinking i should write a post about these BDB freaks but, oh well.. let's see. And you're right about Dorian Gray! But Duvy said the movie not the book. Duvy only likes him because he's played by Stuart Townsend!

7/31/2007 07:38:00 PM  

Blogger Lily Moon said...

Edward Cullen!!!

8/01/2007 05:23:00 PM  

Blogger Jolie said...

Speaking of Bridget Jones, any news about the third book? I thought Helen Fielding is writing another book about our favorite spinster.

8/02/2007 08:58:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I liked the BDB but I didn't like these super old, yet super young looking/hot guys with the slang. Hello! They are not from an urban setting, why act like it!

S. Kenyon's Hunter books are better.

GWB

8/03/2007 05:20:00 PM  

Blogger Lily Moon said...

Why do people keep comparing BDB with Kenyon's Dark Hunters? Are these books the same? I'm excited for Devil May Cry!

8/03/2007 08:52:00 PM