Tuesday, June 6, 2006

NOOOOOOOOOO!

bridget


*Sigh* *double sniff* *groan*

It is no secret to anyone that knows me, above all, those who can read, and/or have no hearing impairments, that I LOVE Bridget Jones. The Edge of Reason is one of my favorite books ever. The part with the little Filipino boy, the rabbits and the wooden balls, had me laughing so hard, a teacher threw me out of class in law school.** It is also no secret that, though excited at first about the Bridget column being revived by The Independent last year, I’ve come to HATE*** this BJ impostor almost as much as I loved the original drunk, chandelier-swinging singleton.

I have stopped religiously following the column, though every couple of months I browse through them just to make sure Bridget hasn’t been abducted by aliens, is carrying Elvis’s offspring or has come out of the closet to reveal that she is really a man that had a sex change at the age of 12 (the column has gotten so ridiculous I wouldn’t put any of these things above Fielding!).

My only comfort was that, surely, that load of bullocks Fielding’s writing now would NEVER be published as a book, tainting the greatness she’d penned before. “Honestly who would even offer to buy that manuscript?” I would arrogantly comment while roaring with laughter. “She’ll have a hard time getting anyone to read past the third chapter of that two-bit soap opera.”

Oh, but I am innocent beyond my years, dear readers, and a bit of an idiot if I might add LOL. Read this!!!!!


Bridget Jones’s Diary author Helen Fielding, who at the age of 48 is pregnant with her second child, has revealed that she is to revive everyone’s favorite singleton, Bridget Jones, in an upcoming book—the third installment in the series.


I don’t think there’s enough space in this world for me and both these Bridgets. One of us will have to be locked away in a white padded cell, and I’m thinking it will be me. After all I’ve no money, and millions of people around the world don’t adore me. *sniff* So yeah, I better get going now... So long everyone, it was nice meeting you all. *sob*

**Yes, I shamelessly sit in the back and read during school lectures.
***Helen Fielding’s brain must have been addled by motherhood or else—she’s a downright idiot trying to foister this horrid creature she claims is Bridget on her devoted fans!

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25 comment(s):

Blogger Harlot said...

Aw, my poor babe.. You want me to make little voodoo dolls of Fielding? Afterwards, of course, i promise to visit you in the loony bin. *sniff*

6/06/2006 08:59:00 PM  

Anonymous lola lovegood said...

NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOO!

Do heroines really have to get pregnant to get their happily ever after?!??

6/06/2006 09:35:00 PM  

Blogger Petra said...

Oh wow. I didn't know about this. I really thought "Edge of Reason" will be the last book, especially after Helen Fielding started writing that weekly column in The Independent.

I too love Bridget and the column has been such a big disappointment. I was shocked when I read that Bridget's pregnant, more so that DANIEL, that bastard, is the father!!!! WHY WHY WHY?

Wonder what will HF do now with Bridget on the 3rd book... Yikes.

6/06/2006 09:38:00 PM  

Anonymous Vixen said...

Errr! Why ruin a good thing? Book 3 can't possible be as good.
Trollop, I'm with you. Edge of Reason was hilarious. I loved the interviewing Mr. Darcy scene. I LMAO reading that.

As for the column, I read it once then saw the whole pregnancy thing and it being Daniel's baby and I decided to never go back. Some stories just don't have to be continued. Can't we just be left to our imagination at this point?

6/06/2006 10:18:00 PM  

Blogger Annie said...

Sounds more like real life - doesn't it?

6/06/2006 11:29:00 PM  

Anonymous Aggie said...

OMG Please no, no, no.

Daniel (aka Hugh Grant) must NOT be allowed to breed.
(I bet they call the baby Damien)

This is worse news than Tom Cruise having progeny. Or Pitty-Patter Brangelina's.

The world is DOOMED!

(I have to leave now and go an overdose on chocolate)

6/06/2006 11:34:00 PM  

Anonymous Tisty said...

Ok, I've had a very board and lonely day trying to get some work done (Unsuccessfully) and I'm going to say something that is v.v.v.v provocative but I'm really not trying to start a flame war.....

I don't like Bridget Jones! I tried god knows. I read some of the original columns and the fisrt book but went WTF?? I mean the general mess of her life i can appreciate (Been there, have the granny knickers to prove it) but it's the whinging that get's me. And the movie was so sweet! YUK. (Though I have to say that the 'fight' sceen did make me laugh)

And she's pregnant. *Shudder* It just doesn't bare thinking about.

Sorry Trollop!!! I hope you can forgive me...eventually....if I bribe you!

6/07/2006 02:04:00 AM  

Blogger C Bradshaw said...

Did Ms. Fielding finally lost it? What was her publisher thinking?

That freaking Independent column should never ever be associated with the books. It ruined Bridget! Now this third book will KILL HER!!!

6/07/2006 06:22:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...

I loved the first two books and the first movie. The second movie, albeit having its own charms, sucked. I'm thinking the third book would be a stinking fest.

Bridget pregnant with Daniel's baby? In the first place, why did Helen let Bridget go back to Daniel again? It's an established fact he's an asshole! Bridget knows this and yet she still chose to be with him?? That makes Bridget a moron!!! I'm sorry but that is not the Bridget we all love and adore.

6/07/2006 07:36:00 AM  

Anonymous Sylvia said...

Am I the last person on earth who have yet to read Bridget Jones?

I did love the movie though, even the second one. I thought Renee was so lovable as the corky Bridget, you can't help but cheer for her and Mark Darcy. :)

6/07/2006 08:42:00 AM  

Anonymous Vanessa said...

Are we supposed to say hurrah?

WHERE THE HELL IS MARK DARCY?!!!

6/07/2006 09:45:00 AM  

Blogger Danielle De Barbarac said...

OMG thank you. Where is Mark Darcy? Helen suddenly wrote him out! What's up with that? And what about Bridget? She has totally changed. :( Such a waste of a good thing. Helen should have left things as they were in "Edge of Reason."

6/07/2006 10:37:00 AM  

Blogger Danielle De Barbarac said...

Oh by the way, funny pic you have there Trollop, LOL. I also want to say, I think Rene did such a great job playing Bridget.

6/07/2006 10:40:00 AM  

Blogger Lorelei said...

I miss Mark Darcy. He's a main character in the column, books, movies, and then suddenly he's gone! You can't do that! For 10 years he's been there! And now, WTF? Such a stupid thing to do, Ms. Fielding. And don't let me start with the new Bridget. This is why many fans are very disappointed. Trollop is right. That is a Bridget impostor. The column is not the same. Fans are better off without it.

6/07/2006 12:37:00 PM  

Anonymous marge said...

I've read before that Helen Fielding found it very tiresome to be considered as the spokeswoman for a generation of hopeless women in search of love. Maybe that's the reason for all the changes?

6/07/2006 01:27:00 PM  

Blogger T-girl said...

AMEN SISTER!!

I LOVE, love LLOOOOOVVVEEEEE BJ and there is no reason to change it. I am one of those stupid puriest on this one subject let me tell you! So scoot over darling, we have some bonding to do in this 8 by 8 padded room, because I am right there with ya!

6/07/2006 10:41:00 PM  

Anonymous stephanie said...

I agree with the others. I don't recognize this Bridget. And why leave Mark Darcy out when he was the reason the diary started in the first place (Mr. Darcy of P&P) is absurd! But really, who would want this idiotic Bridget? Mark should be counting his lucky stars to be rid of her.

6/08/2006 03:20:00 AM  

Anonymous stephanie said...

Note to Mrs. Fielding: Elizabeth Bennet did not end up with Mr. Wickham.

6/08/2006 03:21:00 AM  

Anonymous turkey said...

I have a question for the women. Why are you taking Bridget Jones seriously?

6/08/2006 04:53:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Turkey, Bridget's not a role model. But whether you're a single woman or not, you can identify bits of Bridget in yourself. Deep down, to some extent, at one point or another, we are all alcoholic, incompetent and/or obsessed with unsuitable men. Not to mention, underneath our clothes, our entire bodies are covered in scales. ;)

6/08/2006 07:25:00 AM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

B/c Bridget is a generation icon for many women. Women, who, until she came along, felt alone in their singleness and troubles with men and life in general. She showed many of us that it's ok to be exactly who we are and even have a sense of humor about it. I think she will stay in the hearts and mind of females all over the world for a very long time. :D

6/08/2006 07:50:00 AM  

Blogger Rachel said...

It's because whether single or attached I think everyone can associate with certain elements of Bridget.

Harlot is right. Bridget is not a role model; she's an archetype. We are her and she is us. She's a singleton, she's struggling with her career, her vices, her choices, her self-esteem. She'd like a nice boyfriend and a smaller bum. She'd like to be happy. She is us.

6/08/2006 08:38:00 AM  

Anonymous Vixen said...

And also (I second the above comments) she makes you laugh. A good laugh can do great things!

6/08/2006 08:41:00 AM  

Blogger Isabella said...

I LOVE LOVE LOOOOVE Bridget! Never read the column though as I've heard it's awfully bad. No chance I'm reading it now, LOL.

6/08/2006 09:43:00 AM  

Anonymous passiflora said...

I don't identify with Bridget at all. I'm more like Fucky Shaz, but without the fags.

6/08/2006 08:41:00 PM