Monday, July 30, 2007

Patience: Me wants more cucumbers

Something verra verra fishy is going on with Lisa Valdez’s Patience. There are no updates on her site; the release date listed for Patience is still August 2006. In case Ms. Valdez is Confunded by the Confundus Charm, it’s July 2007 already! But what boggles the mind is that they keep canceling the release date. First, August of last year, then last May—and now it’s been totally erased from Amazon? WTF?

I actually enjoyed Passion, the first installment in the series and—if this never ending delay continues—the only book by Ms. Valdez. To be honest, unlike many, I’m not loca over Mark and his popular big cock. God knows I’d run away and buckle myself with a chastity belt if he waggled his 10-inch heat-seeking moisture missile in front of me. *shiver* However, I have to commend Ms. Valdez. She pushed the romance envelop with that book—aye, she did. The same way Mark has pushed and pushed and PUSHED himself into Passion that made me squirm and cross my legs real tight while pondering: *gasp* “Is that possible?” *shock* “His throbbing sword of fire made her vajayjay pop?!?” :S

Now, I don’t know what’s going on with Ms. Valdez; there are probably things beyond a writer’s control, but you have to admit, the irony of it all when she titled her second book Patience. Was that her way of cautioning her fans? *ahem* “Ye be warned. Be patient, humans.” Ohhh, ruthless! But that’s nothing compare to the sneak peek that was evilly-planted at the back of Passion.

The excerpt goes like this: Matthew and Patience left a dinner party. They started doing the hula and talking about things that made “Patience’s cunt throb with a deep, almost painful, craving; and the pulsing bud of flesh that always brought her pleasure tortured her now with its burning need for release. Every word he uttered inflamed her more, made her want him more.” I KNOW! But that’s not all! Matthew goes back to the party, leaving Patience naked and tied to his bed posts! *gasp* And then, and then... *breathe* END.

OH. COME. ON. What happened?!? Has Matthew brought a cucumber for Patience to, er, chomp on? (She admits she’d practiced with a cucumber after spying on her maid perform fellatio on their butler. :/) “Rarr... I want more cucumbers, Matthew.” *purrs* What, what in the butt? Ms. Valdez, how cruel! Cruel, I tell you!!!

If I’m reading this right, Matthew is as well-endowed as “big” brother Mark. And with all the mention of that damn cello, Matthew’s towering lance of lurve might not be the only huge instrument that would enter Patience. :S Or, perhaps more cucumbers? *confused* And what about Primrose? When would she experience the delights of zee cucumbers? Hmmmm... In any case, cello, cucumbers or dragon of desire writhing beneath Matthew’s tight-stretched trousers, we wouldn’t know now... would we?


Labels: , , ,

36 comment(s):

Anonymous Angela Low said...

I have been wondering about this myself, I keep asking at the book stores that I go to and they don't seem to know anything themselves.

I have been so looking forward to this book and it is killing me not knowing.

Has anyone heard anything about this?


7/30/2007 01:41:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Angela, i honestly have no idea. I don't know what's going on. It just seems so fishy. Why the continuous delay? And why did they remove it on Amazon? Is the book finished? If not, when is it going to be released?

7/30/2007 02:38:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

This is all Mehhhh to me. This book finally coming out wont change my life, I'll tell you that. I thought Pasion was... good... I guess :/ Just incredibly unbelievable and all that HUGE cock talk/thoughts/conversations annoyed me to no end. Mark your cock is big, SHUT UP ABOUT IT, WE FUCKING GET IT ALREADY!

In any case, whatever is happening with Valdez and the publishers is fishy to say the least. Maybe the had problems with the big cock theory too!

7/30/2007 03:53:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Babe, i know. I don't know why everyone is uber uber gaga over this book LOL. Just saying for her fans, this is cruel.

I know very well the agony of waiting for a book that never comes. And after a sneak peek? Just imagine the disappointment after it was canceled last August, then again this May, and now, not even a release date? :/ It's just all so fishy. Hopefully, Ms. Valdez is alright, wherever she is. (This reminds me of when Judith Ivory disappeared and the next thing i knew she was really sick.)

7/30/2007 04:09:00 PM  

Blogger Isabella said...

There were some rumors about this, like other people boycotting her book so the publisher won't release it. Again, rumors and I have no idea if those are true.

I really liked Passion. I hope whatever it is that's been going on, things get settled for Lisa.

7/30/2007 04:30:00 PM  

Blogger Babz said...

Am I the only person in the romance world who haven't read Passion?

I blew all my money on summer movies, anybody willing to send me a copy? lol.

But yes I understand how frustrating it can be. Karen Marie Moning writes one book a year, and it's KILLING us the fans.

7/30/2007 04:47:00 PM  

Blogger Isabella said...

Babz, Passion is good! The book is steamy, with graphic language and scenes but very romantic. And Mark.... *swoon*

I really hate it that Patience was cancelled. Really looking forward to reading that book :(

7/30/2007 05:13:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

RE: other people boycotting her book so the publisher won't release it

Boycotting it?!? How come?

7/30/2007 05:55:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Babz, email me. You too Gabrielle! Where are you?

7/30/2007 06:05:00 PM  

Blogger Danielle De Barbarac said...

The first cancellation, I was a little peeved. The second one, I was just mad. Why, Miss Valdez? Why, Miss Valdez's publishers? And no explanations!

I hope Miss Valdez accepts this as a compliment because the truth is people are waiting for her book and we all want to read it. But it's not coming, isn't it?

7/30/2007 06:10:00 PM  

Anonymous Kirstin said...

That was funny :-) Anyway I've been wondering about this myself. Ms Valdez needs to update her site.

7/30/2007 07:07:00 PM  

Blogger Ladybug said...

I read that she was having trouble with some fans who kept sending her hate mails. About what, that I don't know.

7/30/2007 07:08:00 PM  

Anonymous Ollenska said...

Harlot! lol

What's going on with Lisa Valdez? Is that true about the hate mail? I didn't know... and why would they boycott Lisa's book?

When there is a really good writer, a favorite author whose books I always look forward to reading, I sometimes worry that he/she would stop writing. What will happen to my favorite characters? Imagine this: after HP6 was released, JKR decided that she didn't want to continue writing anymore. I would go MAD!


7/30/2007 07:49:00 PM  

Anonymous Kirstin said...

Hate mails? Because of Passion? After all, it's her only book.

7/30/2007 07:57:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

It was on her site that she got hate mail because of Passion, Patience was supposed to come out last month then it was moved again to who knows when, and on top of that its an even longer wait til Primrose :( oh and did anyone else notice on her site that its a 4 book series? wonder who the 4th book is going to be about.

7/30/2007 09:24:00 PM  

Blogger Lorelei said...

Poor Lisa Valdez. I don't understand why anyone would write her hate mails. If I didn't like a book, I won't write its author about how much I hated his book. I would not buy his books anymore though.

7/30/2007 09:41:00 PM  

Blogger Lorelei said...

Anonymous 9:24, I noticed it as well. LV intends this series to have 4 books. I was thinking the 4th one would be Charlotte's story, the sisters' cousin.

7/30/2007 09:42:00 PM  

Blogger mallymoodle said...

I remember hearing a while back that LV suffered depression due to the reaction to Passion which affected her ability to work.

While I can understand that this book isn't for everyone, I can't understand why anyone would go to the trouble of writing hate mail to an author.

And I am soooo going to buy Patience and watch Matthew force everyone who cut him to suck on his big cock!!! (Hopefully not literally)

7/30/2007 10:01:00 PM  

Blogger Dakota Cassidy said...

Hey, girls!

It's been awhile and I'm sorry, but it's been nuts :)How are ya? What's new?

OMG--someone sent her hate mail?

I'm always so sorry to hear stuff like that. We have enough crap out there without sending angry mail about a BOOK.

A BOOK, people. Becoming emotionally involved is terrific for the author and the reader, but going off yer rocker over it and sending hate mail, or posting hateful things is going too far.

it's a BOOK. Yikes :)

DC :)

7/30/2007 11:13:00 PM  

Anonymous Tess said...

The website has her book listed with a release date of MAY 2008.

7/30/2007 11:22:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

Hi DC! :)

When is your new book coming out?

So true about books being just books. Same thing with movies, how do people go crazy and become treckies and other sorts of things. :S I don't think I have too much pasion b/c I can't be bothered to be a fan girl of anyone/anything. Either to love or to hate...

7/31/2007 04:55:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...

So it's May 2008? Why was it canceled last May btw?

Maybe it'll be that guy (forgot his name), the shipping heir, the one who likes Passion.

I think hate mails are pointless. Funny, but pointless. A person was affected by your work to actually write you a hate mail? Or, er, some people just have too much time on their hands. :/ Oh imagine the amount of hate mails JKR must be receiving everyday from those nutters. :S

7/31/2007 07:26:00 AM  

Blogger Rachel said...

For the life of me, I can't understand why anyone would write Lisa Valdez a hate mail. If you don't like her book, stop reading!

I think it's the publisher's fault. There are more fans than hate mail senders anyway. I for one will buy Patience.

7/31/2007 09:33:00 AM  

Blogger Lollie Rose said...

What's the fuss all about? What is so special about this book? What is so graphic? The language? The sex scenes? But most romance books are graphic, aren't they?

Most romance novels today are very sexy and steamy, I don't see any difference. Even erotica is becoming more and more mainstream.

I would be more pissed off if the romance I'm reading did not end with a HEA because when I read a romance, I expect to get a happy ending, ever after please.

7/31/2007 10:44:00 AM  

Anonymous Rosalie said...

I've yet to read this book but heard a lot about it. One of the best books I've read this year is Nalini Singh's Slave to Sensation. That book has it all: alpha hero, strong heroine, great paranormal story, hot sexy romance, and external conflict. How does Passion compare?

7/31/2007 12:07:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

Item on Rosalie's description SOLD! LOL I am sooooo getting that book! Sounds absolutely fab and it includes everything I like: alpha hero, strong heroine, great paranormal story, hot sexy romance, and external conflict.

7/31/2007 01:37:00 PM  

Blogger Dakota Cassidy said...

hey, VT!! The book comes out in Feb 08. I FINALLY got the cover and I'm so happy with it. it perfectly depicts the book :)

Um, I have to wonder if people put as much passion into something like say, saving the whales or whatever, if we wouldn't all be better off.

I understand loving a book. I understand identifying with the characters and becoming a part of their world while you're READING the book. I don't understand bashing it, sending hate mail if you're disastisfied with it, or getting crazy over it.

but then, really, what do I know? LOL

DC :)

7/31/2007 01:42:00 PM  

Blogger Jordis Juice said...

The negativity of the fans affected Lisa's creativity. Well, that's what I've been told.

You have to ask though, why did the publisher cancel Passion's release? A lot of people are waiting for that book, who cares if others didn't like the series. The point is to release the book for those who want to read it - and I think it's safe to say they outnumber those who didn't like Lisa's work.

7/31/2007 05:10:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Jordis, yes. That's why i can't help but wonder (particularly when LV isn't talking about it) if there are some legal issues behind it. :/ Hopefully not. For her fans, who are all waiting for Patience and Primrose, i really hope she's well.

7/31/2007 07:34:00 PM  

Blogger Petra said...

Poor LV. I can't believe they're not releasing her books because of some detractors. I hope all this negativity won't totally stop her from writing. She has a lot of fans who love her.

7/31/2007 08:43:00 PM  

Anonymous Pamela said...

I am SO bummed about this. I loved Passion and after reading Patience's excerpt I got more excited to read the second book. It has been 2 years since Passion was released. If the publisher won't release the book, maybe Ms. Valdez will go to another publisher to print her books.

8/01/2007 02:40:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Pamela, is it really the publisher who has a problem? Everything is still blurry i think. Because if those hate mails are the only reason why they canceled Patience twice, frankly, i think that's a very stupid reason to do so.

8/01/2007 03:34:00 PM  

Blogger Jolie said...

I just hope Lisa Valdez is all right. My thoughts are with her. And yes please, more big cock. LOL

8/01/2007 08:13:00 PM  

Anonymous Minnie said...

I am saddened with what's been happening with Lisa Valdez. I know she had some personal stuff going on in the middle of writing Patience, but after the last cancellation, no new release date has been given. (though I saw the release date of May 2008 on a few stores) Has anyone heard from her? Is she still writing Primrose?

8/02/2007 10:05:00 PM  

Blogger Vanessa said...

Has anyone tried to contact Lisa Valdez? I emailed her and got an auto-reply saying she is working on Primrose.

Some people are speculating that there are legal problems. Maybe she is trying to get out of her contract with her publisher. I'm not familiar with such dealings but whatever it is, I can only hope things will be allright with her and soon.

8/03/2007 03:23:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Minnie, Vanessa,
I have no idea if she's still writing Primrose. :/ An acquaintance who attended the RWA in Dallas said that people are hushed up about Lisa Valdez. Well, if there are legal issues involved, i can understand her silence. I wish her well.

8/03/2007 05:15:00 PM