That if you become a teacher by your pupils you’ll be taught.
As a teacher I’ve been learning, you’ll forgive me if I boast
And I’ve now become an expert on the subject I like most.
Getting to know
- The King and I
Let’s talk about orgasms then. Anyone opposed shall speak now or forever hold their peace or, um, maybe just stop reading and find another blog for the day? LOL *g* I should probably make something clear first: I’m not a sexpert so if you expect me to give some uber techniques to help you sky-rocket off, er, sorry, not gonna happen. You might want to check out Dr. Ruth Westheimer’s site for that, then come back and share with us. :P
I believe that romance novels give women false expectations in many ways. I do think that having heroines come left, right and all the way in between shows us that it is as much our right to orgasm as it is a man’s. As Samantha from SATC said, when you RSVP to a party, you should make it your business to come. It is unacceptable for women to not achieve orgasms during sex—or worse, *gasp* not to have ever had one! (God forbid!) And yet romance books mostly center around women coming with men and almost never by themselves (actually, can’t remember reading about a self-exploratory heroine :/).
Why, I wonder, are men always responsible for the girl’s orgasm in romance books? Isn’t it time we start seeing heroines take a more active role in achieving their own pleasure? Making sure they polish themselves off if Superman looses his powers, is too drunk to come through, burns his tongue with hot soup and is unable to use it for a day or two—or the very common, flies off the handle too early?
Up to a point, I understand it’s easy to hold men responsible because, let’s face it, a good number of them are only concerned in attaining their own orgasms without helping you obtain yours. Fuckers. What’s more, there are Neanderthals who believe things like the G-spot are a myth to make blokes work harder (honestly, boys). The fact is, we somehow forget that sex is between two people (unless you’re in an orgy :P); it’s not something that you do to another person, it’s something you do TOGETHER, not just ONE giving ANOTHER ecstasy.
There was a time I didn’t always “sail on a golden cloud” when I had sex. I questioned whether my then BF was a lousy lover seeing as he left me hornier than a teenager in a strip club. :S I was confused and doubted myself because whereas I was clumsy, he felt wonderful; still, most of the time, I wouldn’t freaking come. *sniff* What was I doing wrong? Why me? Ye gods, why why why?!?
That’s when I started reading and researching the subject, and while in my noble quest realized that most authors and experts always came to the same conclusions:
- thou shall love your body and the way you look
- thou shall treat yourself like an amusement park; it is not “sinful”; it’s normal, fun and quite entertaining *g*
- with practice and optimism, thou shall be able to “soar into an infinity of delight” quickly and easily
Women can’t expect to have orgasms when they’re unfamiliar with their OWN body. If you YOURSELF don’t know what turns you on, how do you expect your partner to know? He probably won’t. This is why I strongly advocate masturbation. When women get to know what works for them their confidence increases. A woman who’s in touch with her body is more likely to grab her lover’s hand/head/throbbing spear of love and put it between her legs in just the right place than someone who doesn’t masturbate. She’ll have no problem reaching there herself with her very own agile hands which will serve a double purpose: reaching the one hundred yard line AND driving her man crazy. *wink*
Anyhoodles, this is what I’m trying to say: if you have difficulty climaxing, go fiddle with yourself LOL. Become familiar with what turns you on. Practice makes perfect and all that. Not only will you enjoy sex more, but your partner will too. What man doesn’t want to feel a woman come? Over his fingers, under his tongue, around his cock... That means, YOU BOTH WIN. So, ladies, if you’re like me and LOVE orgasms, what are you waiting for? Get busy, and get your fingers sticky. ;)
**Refers to a song by The Divinyls