Thursday, April 26, 2007

Most beautiful people of 2007

Did you guys see People’s Most Beautiful People of 2007? Who the fuck are they kidding? Except for Arwen from LOTR (who is an uber elf immortal princess!) no one has such even and glowing skin! Stars without makeup, my ass! (*cough* Air-brushed. *cough*)

I don’t have the issue (which hits stands today, with Drew Barrymore gracing the cover) so all I know from the list are the ones posted on People’s site. Now, I have to agree Patrick Dempsey is hot (oh, McDreamy *sigh*) and I’ve always thought Katherine Heigl is beautiful (I first saw her in that stupid but charming flick LOL, My Father the Hero). Eric Bana and Wentworth Miller are just, what can I say, fuckalicious. However, some people that made the cut are awfully blah: Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Garner *yawn* and Jennifer Lopez *euww* (“Jennifer” curse?). I was surprised Carrie Underwood is included, still, it’s not as disturbing as THIS:

Scarlett Johansson. I actually laughed when I saw this very cheap-looking photo. Is this how they’re FINALLY going to convince me that Scarlett is really “it”? Seriously? Seriously?!? *snort* For years now they’ve been relentlessly shoving it down my throat that this woman with very annoying voice is beautiful, even declaring that she’s sexier than Angelina Jolie. I mean, REALLY, over Angelina Jolie? Good god, lads... I feel comfortable enough in my femininity (lacking as it is) to say that if I had to stand next to Angelina for more than thirty seconds, I’d spontaneously grow a penis!!!

In any case—besides the fact that it’s laughable and a fucking insult that this DULL and horrifyingly untalented fake-looking dollie would EVEN be considered hotter than Ms. Jolie—Scarlett and her unchanging facial expression (robot, I swear) would bore me to death even if she’s hanging naked from a pole while breathing fire in tune with “Livin’ la Vida Loca.” Ack! (Nice rack though LOL.)

Pete Wentz. Ummm, I’m sorry but who the hell is that?

Reese Witherspoon. I love her movies, especially Sweet Home Alabama; ohhh, Josh Lucas... *sigh* Now he’s beautiful, yum yum yum... Er LOL, where were we? Right. :P Anyway, Reese is just adorable and charming, such a lovely lady, really—and ScarJo can learn a lot from her talent-wise. Not to mention, I sort of admire the way Reese didn’t do a break-up-with-hubby-and-forget-I-have-kids-to-skunk-around stunt when it’s so easy to do it like Britney Spears. She’s as graceful as ever, keeping it and her legs together, never displaying her snatch in public, and she still has all her pretty hair! No bald idiot here who thinks she can deceive me by wearing stupid wigs!

I have to say this, however: Reese is getting way thin right now that she is too skinny for her chin. I mean, just look at that photo... chinny. :/

Matthew McConaughey. I know he is far from being ugly, I KNOW. It’s just, aside from his weird last name, which, for the life of me, I cannot spell—he never did it for me. :/ Well, have you seen him lately? He looks like a high hippie looking for his lost bongo or something. Gross.

What about you, what do you think of this year’s list?



23 comment(s):

Blogger Lorelei said...

OMG! Harlot, that's funny! I think Scarlett is pretty but you are right about her voice. And definitely NOT sexier than Angelina Jolie.

I saw Helen Mirren made the cut. I think she's beautiful for her age. She looked awesome during the last Oscars show.

4/26/2007 09:48:00 PM  

Blogger Danielle De Barbarac said...

Harlot, Matthew is hot!! Those pics are bad though....

I love the way you talk about Scarlett and Britney, LOL. I have nothing against Scarlett, I'm actually looking forward to The Other Boleyn Girl but I don't think she is that pretty.

Pete is from the band Fall Out Boy ;).

4/26/2007 10:27:00 PM  

Blogger Danielle De Barbarac said...

People's website only shows 15. Who else made the list?

4/26/2007 10:28:00 PM  

Blogger Polly King said...

Harlot, LOL!

Eric is looking pretty hot in that pic. Why did they choose Drew Barrymore as this year's most beautiful? I noticed that People base their list on popularity (i.e. someone who has a popular tv show or a new movie) not exactly on the real beauties of Hollywood.

I agree about the "cheap-looking" Scarlett pic. LOL. Matthew does it for me (:P) and Reese is a sweetheart.

4/26/2007 10:38:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmm, not impressed with Scarlett ... that looks as if she is trying to be a Marilyn Munroe lookalike in that drreadful phote. Can't stand Matthew MC .. another one with an annoying little voice.
I agree about Helen Mirren ... the ones with true class stand out no matter what their age.
I don't think any of the guys are that remarkable!

4/27/2007 01:10:00 AM  

Blogger Aradia said...

My vote goes to Halle Berry, Katherine Heigl,Eric Bana and Helen Mirren; Truly beautiful people. But as you said about Scarlett. no way! Cheap is not beautiful! as for the three Jennifers, they are good actresses but not beautiful in the classic sense of the word.

4/27/2007 03:07:00 AM  

Blogger A lady of easy virtue said...

I will have to admit, I might "sponateously grow a penis" standing next to ScarJo... but I totally agree, Harlot, she is nothing against our infamous Angelina!

Pete Wentz??WTF????
I absolutely LUUUUUUUV his band FallOutBoy, but he is sooo very and obviously GAY! Seriously, I saw him in concert in Cologne a while ago... Undescribable. I mean, HELLO? He plays a Louis Vuitton-guitar...

4/27/2007 04:35:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...

There's such a thing as a Louis Vuitton guitar? I didn't know that! LOL I don't know this Pete really, but if he's gay, doesn't matter. A lot of gay people i know are very good-looking. And they really know how to dress! But this guy, er, really? Beautiful? :S

Oh btw, i don't think we can be friends! You like ScarJo???!!!! *hmph*

So true. Cheap is not beautiful. Yuck.

Aggie and Lorelei,
I agree about Helen Mirren; she looks great. And i love her dress in the Oscars! :D This reminds me, have to see THE QUEEN.

Have no idea who else made the list. I was going to ask the same thing.

I'm with Polly about the "popularity" theory. Did you guys see they included the Victoria's Secret models? And it was said they were shocked--i repeat that, SHOCKED that they're included. Honestly...

4/27/2007 05:09:00 AM  

Blogger Jolie said...

I love Sweet Home Alabama! Josh Lucas is delicious. Is Scarlett still dating Justin Timberlake?

I like this Eric Bana pic. It makes me imagine him as Henry de Tamble. With Rachel McAdams as Clare, I think TTW movie is going to be awesome.

4/27/2007 06:36:00 AM  

Blogger Jolie said...

Scarlett is NOT sexier than Angelina! What a blatant lie!!!

4/27/2007 06:39:00 AM  

Blogger Rachel said...

Lol Harlot!! I think Angelina is one of the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, I would probably "grow a penis" too if I stand close to her. ;)

MM doesn't do it for me either. He looks greasy.

4/27/2007 11:19:00 AM  

Blogger Ladybug said...

"This woman with very annoying voice... I'd spontaneously grow a penis" Ha ha! You have a way with words Harlot. I disagree about Matthew though - I love that guy!

P.S. Who is Britney kidding with all that wig and hat?

4/27/2007 11:38:00 AM  

Anonymous Malicious Strumpet said...

Hey, where's the Wentworth pic? He's just ridiculousl hot. And the People pic of him is great (those oh-so-haunting eyes).

I'm a bit torn about Scarlett - I thought she was great in the Justin Timberlake video (I'm obsessed with that song).

I'm dissappointed by not seeing more fresh faces on the website list, though. As far as I'm concerned all the Jen's have been on the list so many times before. Couldn't they come up with some fresher faces?

Eric and Patrick are fantastic, though!

Anyway, t

4/27/2007 12:52:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Hey MS!
Okay, i added Wentworth's pic. ;)

4/27/2007 01:31:00 PM  

Blogger Petra said...

It's funny how People came up with their list. Not very reliable IMO. Didn't they include Kirstie Allie last year? I have nothing against her but come on!

4/27/2007 02:54:00 PM  

Blogger Vanessa said...

I'm on the fence with Scarlett. She's not bad but that picture looks cheap. And she's not sexier than Angelina.

Katherine Heigl is very pretty. Halle Berry, Helen Mirren, Patrick Dempsey, Wenthworth Miller. They should have repelaced the 3 Jennifers with fresh faces.

4/27/2007 05:07:00 PM  

Anonymous Ollenska said...

Lol Harlot. Where is Kate Walsh from Grey's Anatomy? And what about Gerard Butler??!! I'll pick GB over Patrick and Eric!


4/27/2007 06:17:00 PM  

Anonymous Malicious Strumpet said...

Harlot, you rock! I loooooooooove Wentworth. Sigh.


4/27/2007 06:23:00 PM  

Blogger Jordis said...

I love McDreamy and Wentworth Miller is gorgeous! Olly is right, where the heck is Gerry???

4/27/2007 06:42:00 PM  

Blogger Lily Moon said...

Wentworth Miller is so hot! They should have included more younger actors like the two Superman, Tom Welling and Brandon Routh. The guys from Heroes and Friday Night Lights!

4/27/2007 07:03:00 PM  

Blogger Menchie said...

so not impressed by matthew mc-whatever. he doesn't hold a candle to gerard butler in my book. and agree with scarlett -- she's looks ordinary.

4/28/2007 12:34:00 AM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

I don't mind Scarlett J., I don't think she's sexy or even that pretty but I do think she's very talented (acting).

Mathew M. errr, well, I dunno. I'm sure that at some point I thought he was "cute" but no more than that.

I used to think Reese was hiddeous, and being honest here she's neither pretty nor has a great body. But she is classy and has very good taste. She makes the most of what she does have. Plus she's a great actreese.

What I cannot believe is that they have Drew B. on the cover. For crying out loud that woman wouldn't even be pretty in the real world,let alone movie stars! She looks like she had a stroke and half her face is paralized. Plus yikes she has a really ugly body.

4/28/2007 07:05:00 AM  

Blogger Lollie Rose said...

Why People chose Drew as this year's most beautiful is beyond me. She has the worst profile!!

4/29/2007 06:53:00 PM