Saturday, April 21, 2007

No good deed goes unpunished

I woke up early this morning, after a hectic week, to accompany a friend to the airport. As I do every Saturday morning, I washed and blow-dried my hair. This in itself is no small feat! Harlot can testify how frustrating doing my hair has become!!! Since I got here I’ve bought three blow-dryers and none of them effing work because my dorm has some sort of problem with the electrical outlets. This means my dryer works for 2 minutes and then turns off for 5. Add that to the fact that I have more hair than Cousin It and we’re talking a good two hours of hair pulling, heat, throwing around stuff in temper tantrums and creative cursing.

As we’re walking across a park to get to the nearest train station I feel something hit my head. I think someone has thrown a rock at me or something but can’t see anything hit the ground. That’s when I realize a fucking bird has shit on my head!!!!! And it must have been some bird too! Surely along the lines of a Sinornithosaurus because that wasn’t a small piece of poop either, it was something the size of a cupcake!

I spend my morning going all the way to the airport and back with shit streaks on my newly washed and dried hair! Not the morning I imagined. *grrr*

I HATE BIRDS!!!!!!!!!!!!! They should all die horrible deaths; filthy rats with wings!

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18 comment(s):

Anonymous Dreamer said...

Haha, that's hilarious! I like birds, as long as they stay away from my head.

4/21/2007 10:24:00 AM  

Blogger Cassy said...

i hate birds too....

they suck

and just when i walk outside my house....they shit and try to land it on me

4/21/2007 11:14:00 AM  

Blogger Vanessa said...

Poor Trollop! Stupid bird, of all places to poop on. (lol :-P)

4/21/2007 05:07:00 PM  

Blogger Isabella said...

Trollop I love birds! But sorry about your hair. hehe

4/21/2007 06:39:00 PM  

Blogger Jordis said...


But I sympathize Trollop. That happened to me once and I wanted to throw rocks at ithe bird! It doesn't seem fair when you just had your hair done and you have never done anything bad towards any birds of any kind.

4/21/2007 06:44:00 PM  

Anonymous Ollenska said...

Trollop lol! You have beautiful hair. How dare that bird do that to you? :P


4/21/2007 08:01:00 PM  

Blogger Aradia said...

:) Hope that bird gets bird-flu and dies! I sympathize with you, Trollop! The problem is, as much as we can control our hair (or try to anyway) we can not control nature. Last week I had lunch in front of school cafe and it was windy. Three hours later I came home and in the mirror saw that a small branch with a couple of leaves has been stuck in my hair. The embarrassment! I had gone around for a whole three hours with a piece of tree in my hair and no one had bothered to mention it to me! It took me a whole evening to get over my embarrassment! You know that saying “ Sh#@ happens!” ? This is exactly the case! LOL

4/22/2007 02:30:00 AM  

Anonymous witch said...

hahah~ sorry for u.
but i still like birds. ~ ^^

4/22/2007 02:59:00 AM  

Blogger Aggie said...

Hey little Birdie way up there,
dropped a dollop in Trollop's hair,
you laugh and tweet and say you don't care,
'cos you get to poop from anywhere.

But one day she will return the favour,
and her revenge she surely will savour,
flying past you at great speed, will be a boomerang on a lead.
It will knock you off your perch and teach you whose hair not to besmirch!

4/22/2007 06:58:00 AM  

Blogger Petra said...

Sorry about that your bird experience Trollop, LOL. Birds are noisy and unlike a dog or a cat, you can't hug or pet them. They are just in the cage, looking pretty.

Aggie LOL. That's a good one.

4/22/2007 10:58:00 AM  

Blogger My heart runneth over... said...

Hair dryers! fjgjsgjoifhcif!!!!!! I know what you mean!

Diddo! in reagards to the birds! Diddo!

All the best!

4/22/2007 01:58:00 PM  

Blogger Polly King said...

I sympathize with you Trollop. At least it didn't shit on your favorite shoes!

4/22/2007 03:25:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

Oh yeah, you're all full of simpathy! LOL I can hear you smirking/giggling all the way here!

Oh well, gotta tell you, had it happened to someone else *cough* Harlot *cough* I'd be rolling on the floor laughing :P

4/23/2007 03:56:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Heaven help the stupid bird who will shit on me. GRRRR

I FUCKING HATE HATE HATE HATE BIRDS. They are noisy, they do nothing but poop and they can peck you to death!!!

4/23/2007 04:48:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Oh btw, a bird doing his business on Trollop's head, i'm not surprised really. It's called karma. Uh-hmm. That or Mother Nature is telling you to wash your damn hair. :/ Anyway, i'm actually disappointed the bird didn't land dead on her head.

4/23/2007 04:53:00 PM  

Blogger Ladybug said...

Trollop, I sympathize but that's funny! That bird would probably meet its end soon :P

4/23/2007 07:10:00 PM  

Blogger Ladybug said...

"Anyway, i'm actually disappointed the bird didn't land dead on her head."

Harlot, LOL! BTW I've never heard of any bird who pecked someone to death :P.

4/23/2007 07:11:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

My dear Ladybug,
Unless you're uber uber UBER sure no bird has pecked anyone to death, EVER, i'm sticking to my theory. *hmph* Those beaks are deadly, i tell ya!!!

4/24/2007 12:04:00 PM