Thursday, April 19, 2007

What is under the kilt?

**To play the “The Scotsman’s Song,” click here.

After discussing the appeal of Scots romances, I thought I should talk about what I usually think of when the beautiful nation of Scotland is mentioned: What’s under the kilt? :P Heh. Oh, shut up! Admit it—you want to know too, you dirty pervs!!! *hmph*

Och, there’s something about a strong Scot proudly wearing a kilt that is just, ooh la la, irresistibly sexy. Maybe not as faint-worthy as “OMG, ye so fine I is wettin’ my knickers” hottie in a tux—but still irresistible that if my man wears a kilt, curious lassie that I am, there’s no way I won’t end up exploring it and his broad sword. ;) *ahem* Ohh-kay, why don’t we see first how a Highlander properly dons a kilt:

1 - Reggae originated in the glens of Scotland. Early Highlanders were big fans of Bob McMarley.
2 - Wig (optional) made from haggis hair.
3 - Targe or small wooden shield. The design was inspired by the king himself... Elvis Presley.
4 - Highlanders never shine their shoes as this may reveal what’s under the kilt.
5 - Basket-hilted sword (BHS for short). The warrior used to push a sword through his head just to show how ferocious he was.
6 - Dirk. Used for dicing vegetables preparing salads and opening letters.
7 - Sporran (Gaelic for nut pouch). Most Scotsmen keep money in their sporran because if robbed, at least they enjoy the experience. LOL
8 - Kilt. If a Highlander was to take this off, you’d be shocked! It would stretch 24 feet... the kilt!

D’ye ken our Highlander is the bonniest of laddies? *g* Er, anyway, I was told a real lady wouldna inquire what a lad wears under his kilt but, really, who am I kiddin’?!? So I asked Lance Cpl. Lee Wotherspoon of the Black Watch regimen and he said, “My Scottish pride, lass. And call me Sweetcheeks.” Ummm, Cpl.—I mean, Sweetcheeks—that’s a wee bit vague, dontcha think? :/ But thanks to a strong breeze during the lowering of the British flags at the Cenotaph in Hong Kong, *gasp* I got a clear view of what he really means!

Now, on November 2004, Col. Simon West sat proudly next to the Queen in the front row of the 1st Battalion of the Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders. Dear Col. West, however, hadn’t taken the time to adjust his sporran and kilt, so it flapped about for the world to see! Look at that smile; ye ken he did this on purpose? Naughty boy LOL.

I gotta admit our two brave military men are verra helpful; still, I wanted more proof. Of course it’s to strengthen my hypothesis, not to see more balls! Sheesh. In any case, uber slueth that I am, I lifted kilts of fuckalicious Scots here and there looked for more answers. Aye. And what did I find out? Well, asked what they wear under the kilt, some verra obliging Scots replied in different ways (click links if you REALLY REALLY want to see what’s under the kilt; some are gross, NOT WORK-SAFE!): I still can’t believe it! But good lord in heaven, after all that verra clear pictures of buns and weenies—evidence—even *if* I’d like to think otherwise, I have to conclude that Scots in kilts are INDEED out in the open and therefore always “ready for action”!!! LOL I guess, as Braveheart himself had said, “It’s all for nothing if you don’t have freedom.” Why... I do believe he’s referring to his balls. :P

To end this post (won’t be complete without it), here’s my Scot lovah: Gerard Butler—in a kilt. *g* And since he’s MINE already, just imagine him wearin’ nothin’ under it. ;) (Don’t forget to watch the video! Hilarious kilt stories LOL.)

Labels: , ,

36 comment(s):

Blogger Harlot said...

Here's the lyrics of THE SCOTSMAN'S SONG :P

Well, a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair
And one could tell by how he walked that he'd drunk more than his share
He fumbled 'round until he could no longer keep his feet
Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street.

Ring ding diddle iddle i de o
Ring die diddley i o
He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street...

About that time two young and lovely girls just happened by
One said to the other with a twinkle in her eye
See yon sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt.

Ring ding diddle iddle i de o
Ring die diddley i o
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt.

They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be
Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there behold for them to view beneath his Scottish skirt
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth.

Ring ding diddle iddle i de o
Ring die diddley i o
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth.

They marveled for a moment and then one said we must be gone
Let's leave a present for our friend before we move along
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied into a bow
Around the bonnie star the Scot's kilt did lift and show.

Ring ding diddle iddle i de o
Ring die diddley i o.
Around the bonnie star the Scot's kilt did lift and show.

Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled toward the trees
Behind the bush he lifts his kilt and gawks at what he sees.
And in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes
Oh! lad I don't know where you've been but I see you won first prize.

Ring ding diddle iddle i de o
Ring die diddley i o
Oh! lad I don't know where you've been but I see you won first prize.

4/19/2007 05:23:00 AM  

Blogger A lady of easy virtue said...

OMG, the picture of the guy next to the Queen is hilarious!

4/19/2007 06:30:00 AM  

Blogger Marg said...

I never get sick of seeing those pictures of Gerry!

4/19/2007 06:54:00 AM  

Blogger Polly King said...

LOL! The song and kilt pictures are funny! The GB pictures are hot and the video is hilarious!

Thanks Harlot, I was in dire need of a laugh :D.

4/19/2007 08:01:00 AM  

Blogger Danielle De Barbarac said...

That's funny! I love GB's kilt stories, and he said his sword got stuck? LOL

The picture of Col. next to the Queen is priceless. LMAO

4/19/2007 09:49:00 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hahahaha... How funny!


4/19/2007 09:55:00 AM  

Blogger Vanessa said...

Oh my god, those men in kilts.... lmao!

There is no sexier man in kilt than Gerry Butler. I love his pics and that Jay Leno interview is funny! I'm still laughing here. Harlot, thanks for the enlightenment, lol.

4/19/2007 10:55:00 AM  

Anonymous Ollenska said...


I never care even if I'm at work and pixs are labeled NWS but this is the first time I was taken aback by a picture, LOL. The "string, I had to tie it up" made me sputter coffee all over the keyboard!

Thanks Harlot. I love the GB pixs and the video is hilarious!


4/19/2007 12:00:00 PM  

Blogger A lady of easy virtue said...

Okay, now that I've heard Gerald Butler's accent and drooled all over my BFs keyboard - DAMN, he is hot! I do indeed understand you now, Harlot !!!

Geeez... Luuuuv the accent!

Oh, and I'll watch "300" 2morrow!

4/19/2007 01:06:00 PM  

Blogger Jolie said...

Ye gods! Some of those men in kilts are nasty, LOL!

Gerard Butler rocks. That part where he's relating what happened in his sister's wedding, LMAO.

A lady of easy virtue, 300 is awesome. ;D

4/19/2007 01:29:00 PM  

Blogger Ladybug said...

Luuuuurv GB's kilt stories! And I love his photos. He's really hot wearing that leather kilt. *sigh*

LOL at the men in kilts!!

Thanks BBs, this made my day!

4/19/2007 03:09:00 PM  

Blogger said...

And in a pink shirt no less.

Nathan Fillion also wears skirts. Although, as far as I know he's Canadian...

Have you seen this site? :D

4/19/2007 04:10:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

LOL! Thanks, Dance.
I gotta say Eric Bana is so hot in TROY i almost forgot Brad's in the picture (i know!). Even if he has ugly teeth LOL, i adore Ewan McGregor; he is so charming. Now, Capt. Reynolds is hot! :P

Lady of Easy Virtue,
Is it owki to call you ALEV as i'm lazy? :P (Ya know, your name keep reminding me of Liz Carlyle's book.)

Have fun with 300. :D May i suggest bring water and popcorn. The first time i saw it, i was overcome with this strong feeling to bite someone, oh LOL. So true though. *blush* Heh.

4/19/2007 04:35:00 PM  

Anonymous Lindsey said...

Oh boy, GB is delicious. He is funny too! I love his kilt stories, LOL.

BTW those kilt pictures are shocking!

4/19/2007 05:32:00 PM  

Blogger Petra said...

"Ye so fine I is wetting my kickers hottie in a tux."

LOL. I love a man in tux. Sigh. But Gerry Butler in a kilt - yummy! Still laughing because of his video. That's a good one.

Can you believe how hairy some of those Scots in kilts are? LMAO

4/19/2007 05:38:00 PM  

Blogger Jolie said...

Dance, that's a good site! Have you guys visited this site? ;)

What's Up Your Kilt?

4/19/2007 05:43:00 PM  

Anonymous Desiree said...

OMG... talk about going commando.
Gerry's video is very funny!
Fun post Harlot :)

4/19/2007 05:56:00 PM  

Anonymous Gun_Wielding_Bitch said...

What a sexy accent

4/19/2007 06:23:00 PM  

Blogger Lily Moon said...

I think I love you Harlot. The GB pictures are great and I love, love, love, love the video!!!! His accent is so sexy and he is so cute and funny I just want to hug him right now!

The pictures of kilted men are a little scary, lol.

4/19/2007 06:46:00 PM  

Anonymous ~Cassie~ said...

That's hilarious! Don't you just love his accent? Right now I can't get enough of Gerard Butler. He is sooooo fiiiiiine.

4/19/2007 07:39:00 PM  

Blogger Rachel said...

Should there be a reason for kilts to be in fashion again, it's Gerard Butler.

I love the kilt stories, very funny!

4/19/2007 09:01:00 PM  

Blogger Miss L said...

ha ha! there's a man I work with (in a state law enforcement/safety agency) who often wears a kilt. very odd, he wears it with a denim button-down. unfortunately, he's no GB :/

4/19/2007 10:35:00 PM  

Blogger A lady of easy virtue said...

Harlot, darling,

you can call me whatever you like! ;o)
My name's Sarah, try that if you can remember. Or just Lady, even though nobody that knows me in person would consider calling me a lady - LOL.

I'll bring coke and lots of popcorn to "300" tonite - and my BF, who is a strong guy and I'm sure he can handle a couple of bite marks...

Have a great weekend, BBs!

4/20/2007 03:59:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Miss L,
I hope you ask him what he wears under the kilt. :P

Of course i'll remember. ;) You too, have a good weekend. Easy on the biting; surely the BF will love it LOL. Ok, i should get ready as i'm going out!

4/20/2007 04:42:00 AM  

Blogger Jordis said...

LOL. I read somewhere that the it is military regulation for soldiers in the Highland regiments to wear nothing under their kilts. :P

Gerard Butler is freaking hot!

4/20/2007 05:17:00 AM  

Anonymous luci said...

The pics are hilarious. Oh my gosh, the one next to the queen!!!

4/20/2007 10:02:00 AM  

Anonymous Luci said...

The GB clip was HILARIOUS!! He's so cool. My two year old came up on the chair behind me to watch it too.

I have tears in my eyes!!

Love Jay Leno by the way. The classic was right after Hugh Grant got caught with the Brown woman and Grant was promoting his film Nine Months, and the first thing Leno tells him after he sits is: "What the hell where you thinking?"

4/20/2007 10:09:00 AM  

Blogger Lorelei said...

That was funny! I'm still laughing. Ha ha!

"The large sword. And you still don't know which one I'm talking about." LOL!

4/20/2007 12:10:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Eww, some of those pics are awful ... but some are hilarious. Gosh males are ugly buglys really! lol! Excepting GB of course ... hes pretty cute! Video is funny.

4/21/2007 04:33:00 AM  

Blogger Menchie said...

i just love love love GB. There is nothing he can do that can turn me off...well, except if he really is dating Naomi Campbell.

4/21/2007 06:54:00 AM  

Anonymous Rosalinda said...

Ha ha! That was funny!

4/21/2007 07:30:00 AM  

Blogger Shoshana said...

Is it a requirement that if one wears a kilt, they must wear a ladies blouse too?

Isn't GB's top a girl's top?

4/21/2007 09:15:00 AM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...



That's exactly the same thing the BF said! LOL

I, on the other hand, could care less about what he's wearing. I'd actually rather him naked and in bed with that big sword *wink*

Never understood the appeal of this guy till now! But as they say, good things come to those who wait. Errr, if that's applicable in this case LOL

4/23/2007 03:38:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

BF said the same thing! Honestly, a kilt is NOT a skirt and just because it's pink doesn't mean it's a girl's shirt! Besides, Gerry can carry this look anyway. *hmph* Anyway, whatever it is he's wearing, i'll help him take it off of him. Heh. ;)

4/23/2007 05:00:00 PM  

Anonymous Ally said...

OMG! HAHAHA! I'll never forget those men in kilt photos ... Gerry Butler is fabulous. What a sexy accent!


4/23/2007 07:09:00 PM  

Blogger Anika said...

Oh who cares what he's wearing he looked delicious, and the accent has my 'knickers wet'.
Don't despair, we are all pervs just like you, I have wondered what those Scots wear under their kilts many times. Thanks for the pictures, they were great.

4/29/2007 10:45:00 AM