The Book Bitches

Two very opinionated bitches talk about books and bitch about other stuff too.

WHAT YOU WANT...

Loved Paullina's reply. How funny! Oh shut up GGRRRR.. LOL! Congrats to the winners :) The many faces of Casanova Harlot, have mercy on my poor eyes! Is this guy related to Mr. T? totally priceless! LOL! Ha! Thanks for the laugh. Love the dance! LOL Ahahahaha! Too funny! LOL! I love the dance.

Happy Holidays! You got some really cool moves! Lock the door and turn the lights down AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Too freakin funny! XD even without sound it was funny! This had me rolling, OMG. Too funny. LMAO HYSTERICAL Love is blind... as a bat Ohh, how adorable :-D Sorry! That should be commissioned. Hahaha....I love this! Thanks Harlot! SWEET! Hilarious! We put the spring in Springfield

Friday, January 18, 2008

And the winners of our Jennifer Donnelly, Paullina Simons raffle are...

Sara - The Winter Rose (WOOHOO!)
Vampireprincess - The Bronze Horseman (HURRAH!)
Lollie Rose - Road to Paradise (YAYAYAYAY!)

Thanks to everyone for participating. As for the three lucky chickies, email me where you want the book send with “Raoul loves Harlot forever and evah” on the subject line.

I still can’t believe we just had Jennifer Donnelly and Paullina Simons here on TBB. Jennifer and Paullina had been so gracious and such a good sport—and very patient with me too, heh.

I particularly cherish Paullina’s hand-written emails to me (no idea how she does that). I even printed some of it and placed it between the pages of my TBH copy. (Yes, yes, I’m a dork.) The other night with my heathenish ways, I told Paullina that her “tiny house” claims and gazillion of shoes problem didn’t change anything: I’m still holding her to her promise to name a character after me. To my horror, she replied:

SERIOUSLY, CAPS LOCK DOESN’T FULLY EXPRESS WHAT I FEEL. I MIGHT FINALLY HAVE TO KILL TROLLOP!!!

Labels: fun and games, nutella lovah, the bronze horseman’s harlot

Friday, January 11, 2008

The many faces of Casanova

I used to think our readers secretly despise Trollop that’s why they’re not showing themselves. I understand; she’s a bit despicable really. :/ It can’t possibly be me because, let’s face it, I’m uber adorable. But now—after only a teeny-tiny fraction of delurkees *sniff*—I’m beginning to think the real reason is because our readers are composed mostly of Nutella-covered hot men! *gasp* Could it be? *hand-on-mouth shock* *drools breathlessly*

Even as my mind begins to wonder a world full of such glorious creatures (oh so my fantasy!) for the sake of delurking, fine: I will TRY to keep my hands to myself and curb the desire to lick Nutella off of you. What say you?

I guess I just have to wait who is man enough to talk to me. ;)

Now, for those of you who have delurked, I thank you, my lovelies. In return for making my and Trollop’s day (also to encourage the other ladies and men lovers who have yet to say “hola hermosas”) here’s an abundance of eye candy. Do let me know which one makes you tingle from your scalp to your little toes. Enjoy... *g*

Labels: fuckalicious, fun and games, nutella lovah

Friday, November 23, 2007

Santa's trollopy-harloty little helpers

If you think Christmas season comes too early—TOUGH. Dude, for Rudolph’s sake, ’tis a season to be jolly! Fa-la-la-la-la. Stop complaining and just suck up to Santa and he might finally give you bigger boobies.

Look at me and Trollop; just because we’re naughty bitches doesn’t mean we’re not doing our part this Christmas season. Nope, not lying. Or my elf’s name isn’t Cutie Chilly-Helper and Trollop’s not Tumbleflump Bunny-Tummy.

Oh, I wish I were lying...

Watch our little video here and you’ll see.

Really, good luck finding anything bitchingly uber cuter than us. *g*

To get your elf name, click here. To elfify yourself or your kids or your BOB, click here. Do share and post your links here so we can all see. Have fun! :D

Labels: fun and games, holidaze, trollop and harlot’s stuff, under hunky mistletoe

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Suzanne, Promises Linger and Caine's Reckoning winners!

So sorry this was delayed. I’d like to elaborate as to how it all happened where a penis the size of a tree trunk played some part, but that would take a lotta my time. Just believe me when I say it’s all very confusing and it’s all Trollop’s fault—blame her!

Anywho, without further ado, let’s give it up for our lucky winners:

Winner of Michael Betcherman’s Suzanne: Gabrielle (WOOHOO!)
Winner of Sarah McCarty’s Promises Linger: Carrie (HURRAH!)
Winner of Sarah McCarty’s Caine’s Reckoning: Karamia (YAYAYAYAY!)

For the luckless non-winners, don’t fret, my luvlees. :P Michael offered you heathens some discount on his stories. Discount for Daughters of Freya, discount for Suzanne.

As for you, my three winning chickies, please email me the addy where you want your book send with “Harlot is BESTEST over Trollop the Tree-Hugger” on the subject line. You might want to include some photos of nekkid, gorgeous Italian men with your contact info. *g* No duck cock, please!

Thanks again to everyone for participating. Till our next raffle... *besos*

Labels: fun and games

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Lock the door and turn the lights down

Labels: cock fetish, fucking around, fun and games, youtubery

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Love is blind... as a bat

I’ve ranted about Stephenie Meyer’s Eclipse like a religious fruitcake hell-bent on abolishing infidels and the Trollops of the world but that doesn’t mean I’ve stopped loving Edward Cullen. Oh, Edward... oh, Edward... *dreamy sigh* Er, heh. What I’m trying to say is, even if I hated Eclipse—H.A.T.E.D. *GRRR*—with its stupid Interview with the Vampire meets Dawson’s Creek meets fucking Wuthering Heights Edward-Bella-Dog-Love-Triangle, I still found Patrick McDonell’s Mutts Twilight-themed Halloween comics verra, verra awwdorable. *g*

Yep, ya heard right: Twilight comics, yay! It progressed the whole week of last week featuring a bird and a bat named Bella and Edward. I KNOW. Talk about oh so cute, huh? :D

Well, I think they’re very cute, even if each day I couldn’t help but wonder if Jacob’s going to show up and ruin everything by eating Edward. Stupid dog. Dunno if wolves eat bats... :/ Or maybe Jacob would be another birdie—since he’s still human and the same species as Bella—like a woodpecker! Wacky species, birds, uh-hmm... Also, wonder if Patrick is implying that Bella and Edward are just waaaay different to ever be accepted togedah forevah no matter how troo their lurve is... Yeah, yeah, I’m 26 and have been analyzing these things. (Shut up. *hmph*)

Anyhoodles, here are the comics, enjoy (or not—if you don’t get the references :P).

Labels: and so the lion fell in love with the lamb, fun and games, i heart ya, paranormal oh joy

Monday, September 24, 2007

Just when I thought I couldn't possibly like Matt Damon...

Trollop showed this to me like a month ago and I just remembered to post it. Oh, I do love the Bourne movies and I absolutely love a man with a sense of humor.

I suppose, well, um... Fine. Matt Damon isn’t that bad, I think... :/

Erm, ANYWAY—moving on!—be honest, isn’t Guillermo muy guapo? ;P

The 305

Labels: bitch at the movies, fun and games, mctv, youtubery

Sunday, September 2, 2007

"Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk), at home as in the tavern."

After watching Raoul do things with his mouth, *wink* I ended up watching these and laughed myself silly!!!

(Most of the videos are only about 30 seconds long so try to watch them all. Have fun.)

I don’t drink Carlton Draught but Kevin Kavendish is my new hero. :D

Ah, men... how they fuck up romance... and then have the gall to tell you at least beer stains wash out! Ugh. Honestly...

I’m still not sure which is more apparent: that women are capable of such atrocious actions, or that men are really such uncivilized baboon idiots.

Poor dude can’t get a break, hee.

This is a stupid ad LOL, because it doesn’t have anything to do with beer at all but that opportunistic bastard made me laugh. :P

“You’re takin’ one for the team, so your buddy can live the dream. Wingmaaaaan!” LOL The song is hilarious. My favorite part is the look on the wingman’s face as he salutes his buddy. Priceless.

Of all the beer commercials I have seen, this one is the BEST. Simply faaaabulous. Brilliant use of “Fortuna Imperatrix Mundi” (“Carmina Burana” by Carl Orff), one of the most magnificent music ever made.

Now for you, dear drinkers, cheers!—and may beer deliver you from hangovers. For thine is the beer, the bitter and the lager. Forever and ever, Barmen.

Related:

Labels: fucking around, fun and games, youtubery

Sunday, August 26, 2007

We put the spring in Springfield

Hola, chicos and chicas! Here are the Simpsonized images you guys have emailed us. Thanks muchos muchos to all who shared; ohhh, TBB readers are the BEST. *sniff*

Seriously, I’m like a proud harloty bunny. Don’t we look like we put the spring in Springfield? :D As Belle of the Maison Derriere would say, *ahem* *sings* “We’re the sauce on your steak, we’re the cheese in your cake, we’re that little extra spice that makes existence extra-nice!” LOL. Hit it, Homer!

**“We Put the Spring in Springfield” is an Emmy-winning song in which Homer and Bart attempt to save the town’s burlesque house. :P

Lollie Rose and Duvy