Hello, my lovelies. I am here to talk about my latest obsession:
Nip/Tuck.
My god, do I love this show. Sex, depravity, threesomes, foursomes, orgies, cheating, rape, incest, greed, plastic surgery, money, hot men, slutty women, lies, vanity, murder, drugs, more lies and more sex... Really, what’s there not to love? LOL
I specially love
Christian Troy, maybe because he’s an active part of everything I mentioned above and yet there are so many other sides of him. He’s truly an engaging and enigmatic character, not to mention out of this world HOT. I, of course, like
Sean McNamara too, but he pisses me off with all his moral issues; get over yourself, please! And now, a third and almost-as-hot-as-Christian surgeon,
Quentin Costa. *roar* My only problem with Quentin is that he freaks me out a bit; he’s just a tad weird, if you ask me. Also, what’s up with those tight little shirts he wears?
Anyhow, because I’m renting the series and only starting season 3, I’m stuck in 2003 and trying to figure out who the Carver is. Yeah, yeah, I know, you’re probably already acquainted with him/her but bear with me. My top picks are: Matt (though, raping his father? *euww*), Liz (yeah, I know she’s a girl but anyone can own a strap-on), Quentin (it’s those tight little gay shirts and that I’m-a-sick-fuck smile), Julia (just because I hate her!) and Gina (if anyone is twisted in that show it’s her; crazy bitch).
Oh, and anyone else think Julia McNamara is damn fugly? WTF? If my husband were a plastic surgeon I sure as hell would get my nose done and try to lessen those bulgy eyes (you can’t tell in this pic). And surely, if I had all that money, I would have gotten better veneers because those are very pasty and fake looking. How can she even chew with those things? I’m so bloody confused by her attracting so many hot men. She’s a weak idiot that probably scares small children in the street. How is it that no one else in the series sees that?
Labels: celebs crap, mctv
I’m such a geek. If I were anymore excited about the new 90210 series they’d put me in a straightjacket.
Please forgive my vulgar enthusiasm and watch the promo video while I dance a jig.
And yet, nothing beats the intro with the original cast. How could I have thought the girls were so cool? They’re all wearing mommy jeans and hideous bikinis. And don’t get me started on Brenda’s bangs and those absolutely horrid long-sleeved shirts she used to favor.
Should I be embarrassed to mention I still watch the old reruns? :/
Labels: mctv, youtubery
According to my genius calculations, there’s a 50% chance
Jimmy Kimmel was apeshit mad when he found out GF
Sarah Silverman has been fucking Matt Damon *ahem* “on the bed, on the floor, on a towel by the door, in the tub, in the car, up against the mini-bar.” Either that or it’s the other 50% probability: he’s gay and took his opportunity to hump a dude then pass it off as “Now we’re even, you bitch! MWAH HA HA!”
Labels: celebs crap, mctv, youtubery
With all the rumors flying around that
Friday Night Lights, one of the best damn shows on TV today, will get the ax, I got to think about other briiiilliant shows I love that were snatched away like that sicko R. Kelly snatched Aaliyah...
- 5. Boston Public. Dunno why I got addicted to this drama. Perhaps because my high school years were totally fucked up I wished Winslow High and its faculty—including Mr. Guber, the Nazi with a heart of gold—were real. Or, hmmm, perhaps it really was better than The Practice and Ally McBeal.
- 4. Arrested Development. Only 53 episodes yet it “received six Emmy awards, one Golden Globe, copious critical acclaim and a spot on Time Magazine’s 100 Greatest Shows of All Time.” Honestly, why anyone wouldn’t like Michael Bluth and his hilarious dysfunctional family is beyond me.
- 3. My So Called Life. Oooo, the trauma! It was cut off without an ending! Plus, how was an innocent heathen like me supposed to survive teen years without my best gal pal Angela? How oh how was I supposed to survive without lusting after my best gal pal’s boytoy Jordan Catalano??? Anguish, truly truly... *sniff*
- 2. Wonderfalls. I want to be Jaye Tyler when I grow up: unapologetic, cynical, sarcastic to the bone free-spirit who does what she wants without caring what others think. *g* The show is imaginative and quirky and funny and witty and just plain freaking entertaining. (Did you guys notice Kaylee plays Eric’s slutty wife Heidi?)
- 1. Firefly. Hilarious, original, smart, sharp dialogues, fantastic story, lovable characters (yes, even Jayne); there is nothing—NOTHING like it. Yet, with unfathomable stupidity, Fox cancelled Firefly while unoriginal waste-of-TV-space crap are still aired on TV! The injustice, GRRR!!! Now, what I want to know is this: Why hasn’t anybody rubbed two brain cells together and realize that us Browncoats have a boatload of cashy money, which gorram Fox can have—DAMN YOU, FOX!—if only they’ll give us Firefly back?!?
*lesigh* Oh well, back to FNL. You can sign the online petition here or get other “Save FNL” ideas here. As a bribe, here are some Taylor Kitsch pretties. (Have you heard? Taylor is going to play Gambit in the X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Thanks to Dance for this bit.)
Labels: fuckalicious, mctv
This past weekend, I stumbled across an E! “reality” show sponsored by
Marie Claire magazine called
The Last Model Standing.
I can’t seem to find much about it in Google, which makes me think it wasn’t a raving success and yet, I enjoyed it. It was mindless and fun and short (the whole thing happened in one episode; it was great—no milking-it-for-all-it’s-worth like those reality TV shows usually do).
This is
the premise for the show:
Seven aspiring models endure a battle of the body and mind as they compete for a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to jump-start their careers with a layout in Marie Claire magazine.
Now, you think the enduring battle of the body and mind thing was a ploy? Well, it wasn’t. To me they went through one of the worst things I could imagine being willingly subjected to. They had to stand for hours (the last two made it to around 40 hours) with at least one hand on a huge spread of Marie Claire, in high heels and makeup, in the cold evening and under the blazing sun. Sometimes in bikinis, other times in skimpy tight outfits and, in the end, in dresses. Some of the tasks included posing with snakes and balancing martini glasses in top hats. All this sleep deprived, in heels and with one bloody hand in that mag spread.
I kept wondering why anyone would subject themselves to such torture to appear in a freaking magazine. I’d have thrown in the towel after the first hour of blazing sun in high-heels LOL.
So I wondered: What prize would provide me with the resolution to be the last person standing in a similar competition?
I couldn’t come up with much. I have no interest in being famous, no one would be willing to give me the—at least—5 million dollars it would take for me to go through 40 hours of sleep depravation standing in mules; no contest would offer me the presidency to a country. In general, I came out blank. Except, I pondered, for an opportunity to participate in Extreme Makeover. For that, I’d spend a month standing beside that damn magazine cover—or a huge scalpel in this case LOL. Yes, I too am surprised by my shallowness.
What about you guys? What prize would have you entering a similar contest and doing your very best to beat everyone else for that one thing you covet above all others?
Please, no cutsie end-world-hunger-and-eternal-peace answers! It has to be a price you know a program would award you, but it can’t be cash. And no castles, Harlot, because no one would give you your very own castle for standing with your hand on a Marie Claire cover, hmmphh.Labels: kinky lifestyle, mctv
Geesh, the Grammy’s voting grandpas are always out of date. I don’t even recognize most of the nominees (who the hell is Herbie Hascock?) and those that I do recognize pretty sure their songs came out the year I graduated from high school. This is why Brit Brit’s
“Gimme More” didn’t win Album of the Year. Perhaps at the Grammy 2010? Well, it’s possible her album just really really sucked troll balls but what do I know? :/
Anywho, in case you’re wondering, I did see the show last night. Yep. Wanted to see
Amy Winehouse. I love her voice, I love her songs, I love her uniqueness, heck, I even love her beehive. The last couple of months I was disgusted with what she’d been doing to herself, wasting all that talent for fucking drugs. Last night, however, her little dance step cracked me up LOL; her voice sounded thin but, compared to her
fucked up EMA performance, she looked better—and lucid!—and she looked like she’s having fun.
I just have to add this, my fave performance of Wino so far, when she sang “Love is a Losing Game” at the Mercury Awards. God, she’s good. C’mon, woman, get back on track, gain a little more pounds and please, quit crack. Do not let me down!
Labels: celebs crap, mctv, youtubery
I swear everything bad I said about
Matt Damon and how unfuckable and unswoonsome he is, I now take back. (Though, I still think that
Charlie Dillon needs a kick in the nuts!)
Labels: celebs crap, mctv, youtubery
Watch this
creepy video on Defamer and then come back here and tell me: What do you reckon
John Travolta was thinking?
a) “Woah,
Cate Blanchett is lovely.” (In the 0.0078 chance he is even looking at her. *snort*)
b) “Cate’s dress is pretty. Hmmm, wonder if it comes in my size...”
c) “Nice beard,
Viggo Mortensen.”
d) “Oh, Mr. Viggo, little Johnny is stayin ali-i-i-i-iiiiive. We’d hildalgo the wild hogs outta ya!”
For the record I think Cate is gorgeous and a fantastic actress. And once, while watching The Two Towers in the theatre , I couldn't help myself and screamed “Aragorn, take your clothes off! Taaaake iiiiittt ooooooooffff!” Some rude bastard threw me out, can you imagine? Hmph.
Related: Labels: celebs crap, fucking around, mctv
Good lord, I never thought I’d see the Golden Globes reduced to a lame press conference—and on CNN! Sheesh. I’m not complaining about the lost of its giant production (who cares about that crap?) but the lost of the circus-like pre-show and funny antics from drunken actors. Also, I would have loved to see
Daniel Day-Lewis,
Johnny Depp and
Javier Bardem accept their awards. Talk about parade of beautiful men... *dreamy sigh* yummily wearing tux! Oh, be still my heart!
Damn the Writers’ Strike! I understand, truly I do, the strike is necessary yada yada but it
deprived me of eye candy! *grrr* cancelled every fucking thing I watch on TV. And even now darling Jon and
The Daily Show is back, it still doesn’t feel the same thing. Why why why do they do this to me?!? *wails* I’m not sure if it will help to have Raoul kiss every inch of my body but my golly, we’ve got to try something!!!
Oh. And I might as well add, on the -98% chance
House writers are reading TBB: Please. I. Want. The. Ducklings. Back. Make Taub meet
The Carver, kill Thirteen with Addison’s disease, give Kumar his own Taj Mahal Badalandabad show or chlamydia—I don’t care how just GET RID OF THE BORING NEWBIES.
Got it? Goody. Now, here’s the list of winners of the sucky 2008 Golden Globes:
MOTION PICTURE
Picture, Drama: Atonement
Actress, Drama: Julie Christie, Away from Her
Actor, Drama: Daniel Day-Lewis, There Will Be Blood
Picture, Musical or Comedy: Sweeney Todd
Actress, Musical or Comedy: Marion Cotillard, La Vie en Rose
Actor, Musical or Comedy: Johnny Depp, Sweeney Todd
Supporting Actress: Cate Blanchett, I’m Not There
Supporting Actor: Javier Bardem, No Country for Old Men
Director: Julian Schnabel, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
Screenplay: Ethan Coen and Joel Coen, No Country for Old Men
Foreign Language Film: The Diving Bell and the Butterfly (France/U.S.)
Animated Film: Ratatouille
Original Score: Dario Marianelli, Atonement
Original Song: “Guaranteed,” Into the Wild
TELEVISION
Series, Drama: Mad Men
Actress, Drama Series: Glenn Close, Damages
Actor, Drama Series: Jon Hamm, Mad Men
Series, Comedy or Musical: Extras
Actress, Comedy or Musical Series: Tina Fey, 30 Rock
Actor, Comedy or Musical Series: David Duchovny, Californication
Supporting Actress, Series, Miniseries or TV Movie: Samantha Morton, Longford
Supporting Actor, Series, Miniseries or TV Movie: Jeremy Piven, Entourage
Miniseries or TV Movie: Longford
Actress, Miniseries or TV Movie: Queen Latifah, Life Support
Actor, Miniseries or TV Movie: Jim Broadbent, Longford (Source)Labels: bitchy mcrant, celebs crap, mctv
Cashmere Mafia will follow the lives of four ambitious and sexy women, who’ve been longtime best friends since their days at business school, as they try to balance their glamorous and demanding careers with their complex personal lives by creating their own “boys’ club” (The Cashmere Mafia) to protect each other and discuss their personal ups and downs as they try to have it all in New York City.
Four girls + NYC does not
Sex and the City make.
Honestly, this preview looks like a cross between
SATC on a high dose of Prozac and Kathie Lee Gifford’s personal life. I loved
SATC because it was fun and light and made fun of itself and the life the girls led. No matter how serious the topic, there was always a smile on your face as you watched. This
Cashmere Mafia show looks like it’ll have you slicing your wrists open half-way through an episode.
This is a dirt-poor man’s
SATC. No drool-worthy guys, no to die for outfits, no LOL story lines, no smart-ass funny comments. No Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte or Miranda.
Whoever said this was the new
Sex and the City is blind, deaf and dim-witted or never watched the show.
Labels: mctv, youtubery
Amy Winehouse is in serious need of help.
I am speechless. I am without speech!
I still don’t get what the audience at the MTV Europe Music Awards was clapping for. My guess is most of them didn’t speak English and had no idea she slurred and gibberished her way through the song. I see no other explanation for it LOL.
At least we can be sure she doesn’t lip-synch!
UPDATE: Harlot here. :P Had replaced the dead link; video after the jump as it’s slowing the page load. Go watch, while it’s still available.
Labels: celebs crap, mctv, youtubery
I think
Bill O’Reilly is NUTS.
Returning to his theme that violence was inevitable he brought up John Lennon. “John Lennon is in the ground,” he pronounced. So now his viewers were able to connect O’Donnell, progressive bloggers, and Democratic candidates with crazed assassins.
The King then bellowed, “This is gonna stop!!” He then issued a warning to Mark Cuban. “You push that movie. I’m your worst nightmare.”
So Mark Cuban is not permitted to publish a documentary stating facts because O’Reilly will become his worst nightmare? *snort* Cuban could buy and sell Bill ten times and not even cringe. Idiot.
I wonder if he has any idea how demented and obsessed he sounds. This dude is not right in the head and should not be allowed to be on TV.
I don’t want to be close-minded or anything, but people this stupid should be taken to public squares and beaten with pong sticks.
Video of O’Reilly’s ambush on Rosie
here. Video of Crazy Fuck O’Reilly’s show
here.
Labels: bitchy mcrant, celebs crap, mctv
Why is National Geographic doing this to me? WHAT HAVE I EVER DONE TO THEM? *sob* I don’t understand how they could show this guy on TV and say he’s a vampire when we all know vampires are hot, sexy, immortal and rich.
They do NOT have bad browned teeth, wiry beards, or long dirty nails and greasy hair. And they sure as hell aren’t hideously repulsive.
Who is this man and why is he trying to provoke my death through an embolism?
I need an aspirin.
Labels: mctv, paranormal oh joy, youtubery
I am still unsure who this
Kim Kardashian chick is or what she does (anyone want to enlighten me?). What exactly is she famous for? I don’t think she’s all that pretty and JFC, she has the most disgustingly obscene ass I’ve seen on a slim woman. WTF did she put in there, a small child?
Anywho, what I can’t believe is she just turned 21. That has to be a joke, right? This girl—and I’m not trying to be mean or anything (who am I kidding? LOL)—looks like she’s in her late late 20’s. She also looks like a dude in drag.
Am I the only confused one here?
UPDATE: Editing to add some Kardashian Humongous Ass pics for Karamia. Take a deep breath and go
here and
here.
Labels: celebs crap, mctv
What are they doing with my beloved
Sex and the City? Who is this hideous old hag in that nightmarish dress with that fucking feather in her hair? I don’t get it, what the FUCK is
Sarah Jessica Parker wearing in this picture, and when did she turn into my grandmother? WHY WHY WHY are they doing this to me?
On a much happier note,
Chris Noth AKA Mr. Big AKA John, looks just as hot as evah. *g*
Related: Labels: bitch at the movies, celebs crap, mctv
Patrick Dempsey is not my go-to stud when I’m thinking of hot hot hot, and I would probably choose
Dirty McSteamy over him (not that I’d kick McDreamy off my bed ;)). Yet there is something about Patrick... with his gentlemanly ways... and those eyes, oh, those eyes... remind me of dancing barefoot on the beach with a man in a tux who smells oh so heavenly, mm mmmm... *sigh*
Now, Patrick is the cover for
Entertainment Weekly’s annual photo issue, which includes a 10-page portfolio of his McDreaminess. Here are some snippets:
At his lowest point, Dempsey’s search for himself even landed him in the pages of a J. Crew catalog. “It was fun to fulfill that kind of [preppy] role. It was just one of those things that was helping to change my image.”
Dempsey’s metamorphosis from McDorky to McDreamy didn’t really get under way until 1999. “I went and did other things, like starting a relationship that was loving and nurturing.”
When it finally came time to try out for McDreamy’s scrubs, playing the wounded-buck role felt like second nature. “Grey’s was a really good fit at the right time. And when the McDreamy catchphrase caught on, I was like, ‘Wow, this is really quite something.’”
“I’d like to see him marry Meredith,” Dempsey says of Dr. Shepherd’s romance with the will-o’-the-wisp resident played by Ellen Pompeo. “All the relationships on the show are deeply flawed, but I think there should be a healthy one to be found somewhere.”
Entertainment Weekly’s annual photo issue hits newsstands on Monday. More quotes here.
Related: Labels: celebs crap, fuckalicious, mctv
Bram Stoker, Anne Rice and Joss Whedon be damned. Moonlight is a vampire saga determined to play by its own rules.
Right from the start of tonight’s pilot episode, prime time’s newest blood-sucker, Mick St. John (Alex O’Loughlin), dismisses most of the genre conventions that have been handed down through the ages. Garlic? It doesn’t repel him. Holy water, crucifixes and wooden stakes? Not so scary. Instead of a casket, our undead dude sleeps in a freezer.
This offbeat approach might give you the false impression that you’ve tuned into a sassy supernatural thriller bursting with creative ingenuity. Unfortunately, Moonlight soon loses its playful oomph and unravels into something that is inert, boring and, at times, almost painful to watch.
Perhaps that shouldn’t come as a shock. Moonlight has been a troubled production since it was picked up by CBS. The pilot underwent extensive rewriting and most of the original cast was given the boot. Along the way, executive producer David Greenwalt (Angel) bolted.
In some ways Moonlight is an adventurous show for CBS, a network known for playing it safe. On the other hand, it’s really just a crime procedural with fangs—a crime procedural that can’t even muster an intriguing case out of the gate. Don’t blame O’Loughlin. An Aussie import, he floats through the show with a relaxed charm and unassuming demeanor. He’s engaging enough, but the shallow script never brings his character fully to life.
Another problem: He shares no real chemistry with Myles, who comes across as wooden as the stakes that fail to faze Mick. Of course, she’s also hampered by the kind of starchy dialogue that will have you yearning for the witty wordplay of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Labels: mctv, paranormal oh joy, youtubery
Trollop showed this to me like a month ago and I just remembered to post it. Oh, I do love the
Bourne movies and I absolutely love a man with a sense of humor.
I suppose, well, um... Fine.
Matt Damon isn’t that bad, I think... :/
Erm, ANYWAY—moving on!—be honest, isn’t Guillermo muy guapo? ;P
Labels: bitch at the movies, fun and games, mctv, youtubery
I swear nothing would make me happy like a bearded trippy wobble than to
stop mentioning Britney Spears but JFC this loopy bitch is everywhere! She’s either flashing her kitty, endangering her kids, assaulting folks with umbrellas, drinking like a fish, hopping with imaginary bunnies—hand on her wig so it doesn’t fall off—gasping for air as her lungs are full of nicotine. Now, I didn’t see the VMAs last night but gawd almighty!—I laughed my fucking head off at this article! (Yeah yeah, I’m a shallow evil Harlot.)
Somewhere, Kevin Federline is laughing. An out-of-shape, out-of-touch Britney Spears delivered what was destined to be the most talked about performance of the MTV Video Music Awards—but for all the wrong reasons.
Kicking off the show Sunday night with her new single, “Gimme More,” Spears looked bleary and unprepared, much like her recent tabloid exploits on the streets of Los Angeles. She walked through her dance moves with little enthusiasm. She appeared to have forgotten the art of lip-synching. And, perhaps most unforgivable given her once-taut frame, she looked embarrassingly out of shape.
Even the celebrity-studded audience seemed bewildered. 50 Cent looked at Spears with a confused look on his face; Diddy, her new best friend, was expressionless.
Some comeback. Breathlessly hyped by MTV as the evening’s most anticipated performance, it became the most shockingly bad of the night. (AP)
Labels: britney fucking spears, celebs crap, mctv, youtubery
