Monday, November 20, 2006

Dis-fucking-claimer

Oh good god. Someone actually complained that Trollop and I don’t review books. I’m sorry, but last time I checked this is still Trollop’s and my blog. If you don’t like what we do, for fuck’s sake, go forth and seek other sites! Honestly... In any case, for the new readers, please, let me clarify some stuff:
  • Yes, this is The Book Bitches blog, and yes, we do talk about books here. But there are a lot of ways you can talk about books than just by reviewing them. What we do is... well, different. Let me show you some of our *ahem* fine articles: “The Big Cock Theory,” “A Dirty Mind is a Terrible Thing to Waste” and “His Ever Throbbing Manroot.” (Or just peruse our favorite posts scrolling on our ticker, that box on top of our purty tagboard. *g*) As The Brainwash Café team has said about us: “Here, you can find articles on nearly everything all written with, hmmm... lets say a ‘unique’ style...” See, we’re unique. *big smile* (I like those guys! :P)

  • We don’t have the fucking patience to give “blow-by-blow reviews” of books; that’s boring for us. We don’t even read other people’s reviews LOL (I like Mrs. Giggles though, she’s wicked). Huh? Oh, for the love of god! I’m not saying we’re above bloggers who review books! I’m afraid Trollop and I don’t have the talent to do what they do. Anyhoodles, recommendations are welcome and I’ll always trust Trollop’s suggestions. Still, everyone has his/her own preferences. I mean, some novels I love, Trollop fucking hated. (She even trashed some of them. *GRRR* Evil, evil woman!!!) Likewise, some of her beloved novels ended up in the bottom of my book shelf *bwahahaha* where dust bunnies rule, not to be seen again. *evil grin* We have different tastes in reading but there are times we couldn’t agree more how a bloody book should die horribly. Of course, that’s just us. Those who prosper and enjoy writing book reviews, good for them, really. As for you, dear readers, if you’re looking for such reviews, like I’ve mentioned, please feel free to find other book blogs. There are a lot of them.

  • We don’t have the interest, time, and tolerance to seek gossips about authors. We can’t spend our time searching for “juicy” tidbits about the literary world, not even the romance genre (we’re busy and fucking lazy). What I’m saying is, we are not in tune with what’s happening in different authors’ personal lives. Actually, we’re usually the last ones to find these tittle-tattles! We are self-centered bitches who don’t give a flying fuck about others’ flights *le sigh* (unless it’s uber importante :P). Of course when we happen to come across said topics and/or feel compelled to talk about scandals (or this and that author fighting idiotically in public, etc), I promise, when we do have something to say, you WON’T miss it. It’s just, we believe things like... finding your way to more orgasms are more important and helpful to book lovers such as ourselves. Think of Cosmopolitan than of People. *wink*

  • As much as we talk about books, sex stuff and men will always be part of this blog. I’m proud to be a woman who celebrates her sexuality *batting eyelashes* and appreciates God’s gift of yummilicious men. (Oh, thank the good lord for the yummilicious men!) I did notice that after we started posting eye candy, other book blogs started posting theirs too. That’s good, I think, more hot studs for us LOL. Of course I believe my collection of lovemuffins is still the UBER best. *g* (Why yes, I’m shameless.)

  • We’re foul-mouthed heathens and we fuck proudly. If you’re easily offended, go read the Daily Word or something.

  • Despite the rumors someone started, Trollop and I are not Playboy playmates. (Would be fun though.) And no, for the last time, Trollop and I are not lovers. Jeez... Though, you know, she says she’d become my lesbian cherry pie if I needed her to. Heh. (Jealous, are ya? *g*)

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41 comment(s):

Blogger Lollie Rose said...

OMG, who actually complained about that? I find it funny that some people have the time to write hate mail to others. Although sometimes I am tempted to send some authors exactly that. :P Hehe. Anyway, one of the reasons why I love this blog is because it's different from other book blogs. So ladies, forget complains like that and keep up the good work!

11/20/2006 12:02:00 PM  

Blogger Dakota Cassidy said...

Thank GOD you all don't look into authors private lives.

You might find out I'm really a man. LOLLOLLOLLOL

Hey, girls!

DC :)

11/20/2006 01:30:00 PM  

Blogger Vanessa said...

This blog is part of my every day. I always look forward to your articles because it's fun and funny and warm at the same time. I agree with the brain wash cafe team, you gals are unique. ;) You Book Bitches rock!!!

PS - Love that hate mail. I LMAO! Nancy Grace? OMG LOL

11/20/2006 01:32:00 PM  

Blogger Vanessa said...

Hey Dakota!

OMG, you're a man??? I know there's something fishy about you. LMAO :P

11/20/2006 01:34:00 PM  

Blogger Petra said...

Thank God for you Book Bitches. You never fail to bring a smile to my face. Great job, girls!

11/20/2006 02:17:00 PM  

Blogger Polly King said...

This is an excellent blog. Articles are simply great. There are things about books, authors, movies, the "UBER BEST" eye candy, and where else can you read an inspiring article like an ode to BOB? ;P People get along, even new posters and I just love looking at that pretty header. LOL. You rock, Book Bitches!

11/20/2006 03:19:00 PM  

Blogger Polly King said...

I forgot. If it's not for your constant posts of Harry Potter and the urging of some of the ladies here, I wouldn't have been pushed to read the books. And what a fantastic ride it was!

11/20/2006 03:24:00 PM  

Blogger HOTMAMA said...

The Bitches know we LUB them like crazy!

And right up top in the side bar it says "talk about books and bitch about other stuff" Nothing about reviews! Go to amazon for god's sake!

I'd like to take a few lines and also thank TBBs for pushing the SK Dark Hunter books. They literally opened a whole new world to me that I was formerly opposed to (vampire stuff) and led me to the JR Ward stuff too :D

Dakota, my DH has mention that possiblity, about anyone online!

11/20/2006 04:16:00 PM  

Blogger Vanessa said...

I agree about the DH books. :D Thank TBBs for pushing those books. It's one of my favorite series now. (I can't wait for the next one!)

Hotmama, I just got a JR Ward book. :) These vampire books are very addictive, lol.

11/20/2006 04:24:00 PM  

Anonymous Ollenska said...

I think everyone here will agree, TBBs are the best!

Harlot, speaking of eye candy, can we please have a couple of hot pics this week? ;P

Olly

11/20/2006 04:28:00 PM  

Blogger HOTMAMA said...

Vanessa, wait til you read LOVER AWAKENED! Sooo intense! You're reading them in order, I hope. ( I'm anal about that, lol)

Yes they could be copied from SK but I still love them. They're not quite as complicated or creative as SK which was fine for me.

11/20/2006 04:33:00 PM  

Blogger Lorelei said...

This is an awesome blog. I always come here knowing I'll have a treat no matter what. We lub you BBs! And thank you for all the wonderful articles :D.

11/20/2006 05:16:00 PM  

Blogger Gun_Wielding_Bitch said...

What?!? You don't review books? I'm so fucin' outta here! I mean, Christ in gym shorts, isn't that what all blogs that mention books do, review?

P.S. I love that we fuck proudly!

Fuckin'-A-right, man...lol
GWB

11/20/2006 05:23:00 PM  

Blogger Lorelei said...

OT - Anyone excited for Tranksgiving? I won't be with my family this year but I'll be celebrating it with friends. I love love love this holiday!

11/20/2006 05:25:00 PM  

Anonymous Lindsey said...

It doesn't say in your abouts that you review books. Some people are so dense. lol

Frankly, I'm tired of gossipy reader blogs. Most of them are just malicious and are doing nothing but bringing down the genre. If you read some of those bloggers, they think they're better than the authors or authors owe them something. WTF? They wouldn't have their blogs if it's not for the authors.

Harlot and Trollop, thanks for the fantastic articles...YOU ROCK!

11/20/2006 05:54:00 PM  

Blogger Vanessa said...

Yes, we should all fuck proudly! lol

Hotmama, I have DARK LOVER. That's the first one, right? I'm anal about reading in order too, lol.

Lorelei, I love Thanksgiving. It's my fav holiday! Sometimes I think it's better than Christmas, lol. I'm so happy that this time the boyfriend is spending the holiday with me. And he'll finally meet my family!!!

11/20/2006 06:09:00 PM  

Blogger Sabby said...

OMG, The Book Bitches ROCKKKK!!!!

P.S. Thanks again for the vibrator post. My husband loved it. hehehe

11/20/2006 06:19:00 PM  

Blogger Shoshana said...

You go Harlot!

YOu must not hold those feelings inside...go on...let it go!

11/20/2006 06:25:00 PM  

Anonymous tinker bell said...

Coming out of lurkdom. I think the reason this blog is amazing is because you are different. Unlike other blogs about books, you don't normally review books, you make them more interesting and fun.

Thanks for the awesome articles and the best eye candy. ;) Indeed, you are the fabulous book bitches.

11/20/2006 06:47:00 PM  

Blogger Lily Moon said...

You book bitches rock! You know we love you! I myself would be very very very sad if you two leave the blogging world. TBB blog is one of my every day fix and it's amazing how much I've learned from you two. And not just about books. ;P Let's not forget all the laughs you girls have given us. Thank you ladies.

11/20/2006 09:05:00 PM  

Blogger Lollie Rose said...

"I'd like to take a few lines and also thank TBBs for pushing the SK Dark Hunter books."

Speaking of DH books, are we still discusing the books because I just finished the series. Loved it, loved it, loved it!

11/20/2006 09:22:00 PM  

Blogger Danielle De Barbarac said...

This is a wonderful blog and it's successful because of its entertaining posts. Book reviews, bleh. You can get those anywhere. Even Amazon has it. I don't care about malicious gossips fanned by even more malicious bloggers. That's not why I read someone's book anyway. I'd rather have articles written by two very cool chicks that have the talent to make any topic interesting. From books, to authors, to chocolates, to laundry, to movies, to sex, to wanking, to BOB. LOL.

Keep up the good wirk, BBs!

11/20/2006 09:28:00 PM  

Blogger Danielle De Barbarac said...

I mean WORK! LOL

11/20/2006 09:29:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Aww, you guys.. you are the best. The veryveryvery BEST. *sniff*

I was just ranting. Had a horrible day and then some idiot just pissed me off. Didn't expect to receive such GREATGREATGREAT LOVIN' from everyone. Oh wow.. we have the best readers! :D We lub you too. *sniff*

Now, admit it, you lub me more than that heathen Trollop! *glaring eyes*

11/20/2006 10:24:00 PM  

Blogger Isabella said...

"I'd rather have articles written by two very cool chicks that have the talent to make any topic interesting. From books, to authors, to chocolates, to laundry, to movies, to sex, to wanking, to BOB. LOL."

My sentiments exactly! Well said, Danielle.

Harlot, we can't love you more than Trollop. She'll kill us!

11/20/2006 10:59:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

With what? Her killer laundry skills?? No eye candy for you, Izzie!!!

11/20/2006 11:11:00 PM  

Blogger Rachel said...

I've always thought you book bitches are amazing. No book reviews needed, we don't want those anyway. This blog is fantastic as it is. :) Rock on, ladies!

11/21/2006 12:05:00 AM  

Blogger Aggie said...

Book Reviews ... what the hell are those? I come here for the gorgeous man reviews and the humour.
You can get any old boring book review anywhere ... go away if that's all you want. We promise not to miss you. Bye now.
Rock on BB's - we like you just the ways you are.

11/21/2006 02:40:00 AM  

Blogger Tisty said...

Bitches, I read your blog because it makes me smile. I read the odd review only blogs, but they very rarely make my day a better place to be in. You guys however do!!!!

So just keep doing what you do.

PS sorry I'haven't commented for a while , but my computer is in the middle of the floor in bits and covered in paint clothes. I'm stealing this moment, quite liteally LOLOLOL

11/21/2006 03:44:00 AM  

Blogger Jolie said...

C'mon on now, we don't want a blog full of book reviews. We want The Book Bitches who provide hours of smiles and laughs by posting interesting articles that makes our day. Rock on bitches!

11/21/2006 09:50:00 AM  

Anonymous Ollenska said...

This blog always makes me smile. I already read this post yesterday and yet it still made me smile now. Yeah even if you're ranting Harlot, LOL. (Love the Nancy Grace hate mail too! LOL!!!)

Harlot, don't forget the eye candy this week. ;P

Olly

11/21/2006 10:38:00 AM  

Blogger Lorelei said...

Tisty, are you renovating? During Thanksgiving?

Yes Harlot, eye candy. You said last week there are more of Fernando. I won't mind if it's him again. ;D

11/21/2006 10:55:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Tisty, where have you been? We miss you!

Ladies, i'll see what i can do with Fernando. *ahem*

11/21/2006 11:07:00 AM  

Blogger Lorelei said...

Harlot, I don't care if he's not even naked. Even half naked i'll take. :P

11/21/2006 11:17:00 AM  

Blogger Ladybug said...

I come here for the laughs and the fascinating posts. No one has those posts like this blog. I even learned some things here and there. :) And there's something about the coloring of this blog that's just inviting. Book review? Pfft. You rock, book bitches!

11/21/2006 11:29:00 AM  

Blogger Vixen said...

LOL, I can't believe someone actually complained about that. Thank God you guys don't do reviews. There are millions of books out there, you guys reviewing even a few of them could take time away from all the other fun/sexy/interesting things you have going on here. Although, I'm sure you could turn a book review into something quite intersting!

I have to go with Hotmamma and say thanks for getting me hooked on SK's DH series. Who knew that I would love this vamp world? I'm not so far in the series but I'm working my way through them and loving every minute of it.

As always you ladies rock!

11/21/2006 11:50:00 AM  

Blogger Danielle De Barbarac said...

Re: Although, I'm sure you could turn a book review into something quite intersting

I'm with Vixen. I think Trollop's review of Kenyon's Fantasy Lover is a good review. And Harlot's post about books that need to die a horrible death. Both direct and very funny too. ;)

11/21/2006 12:51:00 PM  

Blogger Jolie said...

Did Harlot just added that "Dirty Mind" article? Anyway, I love that post. Awesome comments ;D

11/21/2006 10:06:00 PM  

Anonymous Karamia said...

Ladies, it's your blog, you do what ever you want with it; just don't ever change it, okay? And for God's sake, don't stop putting up the eye candy. That would mean I actually would have to search it out on my own, and I'm fucking lazy, too!

11/22/2006 01:12:00 AM  

Anonymous Desiree said...

This is a AWESOME blog. Keep it up book bitches!

11/23/2006 12:59:00 PM  

Blogger Sabby said...

Very true. I don't know why I find this post so funny... hehehe... Keep up the good work book bitches!

11/28/2006 01:06:00 AM