Monday, June 26, 2006

Miss Manners takes on the blog**


Republishing this article until Harlot posts the BBC discussion, because I think people are NOT LISTENING!

A couple of weeks ago, I discovered that Harlot and I (TBB) are not alone in cyberspace. It seems we’re part of a book blog community that I personally had no idea existed. I mean, yes, I knew about some really popular sites but I seldom visit them; perhaps once/twice a month? And even when I do, some are so repetitive and boring I can’t be arsed to read them LOL. Lets be honest here, how many book covers can you make fun of, until it gets so stale you’d rather crack your skull against a tree than read another “ohhh, look at the freaky shirtless dude and the orgasmic blond in the cover” article? Plus, I’m quite lazy and rather busy (talk about a bad combo LOL).

In any case, I was somewhat surprised to find so many sites on the WWW that review books (mostly romance novels), and though that isn’t at all what we do here (Harlot and I are a bit allergic to reviewing LOL) I was very happy to discover other women out there that I could regard as kindred spirits. For a moment or two I was very pleased, and then... I noticed.

A lot of these bloggers, posters, and even the authors that visit these sites, are incredibly nasty and catty towards each other. I’m embarrassed by their petty squabbles and their nauseating behavior; I think they need to be told a thing or two. And since I’m a meddling bitch, I’ll take on the job LOL.

I refuse to buy books by authors that partake in discussions where there is trashing of fans, posters, and/or bloggers—and even worse, if they (the authors) have started these debates themselves.

No, I don’t expect writers to be perfect, and I completely understand the need to express yourself; but, if you can’t do it in a classy way, then DON’T DO IT AT ALL! Do you think I want to read your books after you’ve called me names, trashed authors I love because they don’t make as much money as you do, implied I’m an idiot because I read ebooks, accused me of being a thief and told me you could give a hoot if I like or dislike your writing because you only write for yourself? Er, just in case you actually need an answer: Nope, you’re not getting a penny richer out of my hard work.

I refuse to buy books by writers who belittle other writers and then proceed to engage themselves in public fights like mud-wrestling skanks! Please, people, you are not white-trash hookers turning tricks in your street corner. You are supposed to be elegant, intelligent women who, I’m sure, have telephones, mobiles and/or email accounts which you can use to call each other any name you want—but WHY WHY WHY do you feel the need to embarrass yourselves by doing it in front of readers who look up to you? You’re not getting my purrty money either!

I will stop visiting sites where the moderators let these authors insult readers, where posters get on each other’s throats, and where I feel the need to have my guard up all the time, because I do not want to be trampled on.

Harlot and I started this blog because we love books and, perhaps, even because there are some we don’t. But be assured, dear readers, we will never allow this type of behavior here. I am happy to say we have never had to erase an out of line comment from anyone. *smile* We have been incredibly blessed with warm-hearted smart fans that can voice their opinions, to either agree or disagree, in a graceful and classy way. But if ever the day comes in which to preserve what we have so painstakingly built, we need to erase, ban, kick-out or do whatever is in our power to do, we will do it with an iron fist—even if it’s to a loved fan, author or blogger.

I hope you will join Harlot and me in this little protest. We need to teach some of these people manners, since they apparently have none!

**Originaly published May 31st 2006
***I am editing to say there are a lot of good book blogs out there that I have come to love, and check every day to see what’s new. I really want to share them with you guys, but I’m afraid to link some and forget others and then I’ll be in a pickle LOL.

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49 comment(s):

Blogger Harlot said...

When i saw some of those posts, to be honest i was shocked. And embarrassed. For the authors themselves, for their fans and for myself who support the romance genre. :(

To attack each other like that (author to author, author to a fan!) and display such cattiness in front of the people who actually support their books just seem so wrong.. It's sad. It's disgraceful.

5/31/2006 11:14:00 PM  

Blogger C Bradshaw said...

OMG! I know what you two are talking about. Someone told me about this site and read the catty exchange of posts between authors and readers!

It's embarrassing. How could the site owners' let it be? Just so they could have more visitors? :( It's no different with selling trashy products. This is just another reason why people will look down on this genre. Sigh.

5/31/2006 11:26:00 PM  

Blogger C Bradshaw said...

Oh sorry I forgot to add, you ladies rock for your willingness to put it out there. Also, that I love it here, a site where I can state my views (even if I'm opposing one) and have an actual discussion on it without resulting in personal attacks. Its nice for a change.

Keep it up ladies.

5/31/2006 11:40:00 PM  

Blogger Helena said...

You gals may be The Book Bitches, but you're Classy ones.
'Tis easy to be a mad mud slinging cow in this world - but the really hard thing is to practice grace and dignity.
So in a graceful and dignified way ... here's mud in their eyes!

6/01/2006 12:03:00 AM  

Anonymous Ollenska said...

Such a shame for authors to act that way. And the site owners' actually letting it! I'm with you VT, I stop visiting those sites already. And I'm not buying those authors' books too.


6/01/2006 12:08:00 AM  

Blogger kinky courtesan said...

Hussy and I decided that Judith McNaught's Perfect is perfect for next months book club... happy ending and all!! haha.... please??? ok it doesn't really matter so long as the ending is really happy and there isn't a giant masacre!

6/01/2006 12:27:00 AM  

Blogger HOTMAMA said...

Not fair!! For those of us NOT in the know lol. Give us a little, teeny, tiny hint.........Please ;)

6/01/2006 12:28:00 AM  

Anonymous kat said...

I also don't know which site are we talking about lol. Still, I don't think I would want to be part of that or read it.

I'm with you Book Bitches. And kudos to you both for having a blog where people can give their opinions without fear of being attacked.

6/01/2006 12:36:00 AM  

Anonymous vanessa said...

Yes please! For us who don't know, tell us what happen!!! Just a snippet here and there. ;)

6/01/2006 12:55:00 AM  

Blogger Bill said...

Nothing like an author who treats their fans like a bank roll to turn you off. In a different vein, when I was a younger man than I am today I used to read Anne Rice and Anne McCaffrey novels. Until one bright and sunny day, browsing the archives of sci-fi fan-fiction, I stumbled across a big warning message saying fan-fiction using the characters of these authors was not allowed, due to fears of litigation from the authors in question.

Turned me right off, and I never touched those authors again - which wasn't that difficult considering the downward spiral Anne Rice's books had taken over the years. The message of course is: treat your fans with respect, because without them you'd be pounding the pavement selling double glazing.

6/01/2006 04:42:00 AM  

Blogger Marg said...

I hate how easily online discussions generate into real bitch fights. I made a comment as such on a blog one day and was told that it was entertaining. Personally I don't find it entertaining, it puts me off completely. I can still read a book and enjoy it without reading all the other crap that appears to be going on all the time!

I hate confrontation...big time!

6/01/2006 05:57:00 AM  

Blogger Petra said...

I couldn't believe it, how catty these authors could be. And in public! It's disgusting how they acted.

The way I see it, no way these authors are seeing my money again. Too bad I actually like one of them. :(

On the other side, this is why I love it here. I agree with Helena. Trollop and Harlot, you may be Bitches LOL, but I've never been more comfortable stating my views anywhere else in the net but here. Good job, ladies.

6/01/2006 06:02:00 AM  

Blogger Petra said...

By the way, re Kinky Courtesan's comment. Are we really going to have Judith McNaught for the next BBC? I have to reread LOL. Actually I would prefer a new author, but if it's JM, I have no complains. :D

6/01/2006 06:08:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Bill, i'm not a fan of fan fiction but i agree with you. :) Why can't they take it after J.K. Rowling, the decade's most successful author.

There are a lot of fans who write Harry Potter stories and publish them on line. But JKR understands the need of some of her fans to explore the stories more. I even read that she's flattered by all of it. Of course, as long as those fan fiction authors are not making a profit out of her characters LOL, that's fine. Which is fair and right. Protection of the fans agains exploitation is still the most important.

6/01/2006 06:40:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Wow. Thanks you guys. :) Trollop and i are really happy that our readers feel that way about us and our blog. *sniff*

(Since i don't want to type it again and because i'm a lazy bitch LOL totally copying what i previously said from an old thread. :P) -

"As you can see, Trollop and i have filthy mouths too. :P But, we do mind rudeness and we won't tolerate it here on our blog. We work damn hard to make this blog as friendly/comfortable as possible for our readers. Maybe no one can love this place as much as Trollop and i do, but we expect our visitors to respect the other posters and be civil with one another.

Here on our blog, we do not alter or delete comments we don't agree with (except annoying spammers or from crazy fucks). No one will ever be bashed or trashed for having an opposing point of view. Nor will bashing or trashing of other POVs be tolerated.

We welcome and respect all comments and opinions. All we ask is for visitors to do the same thing too."

6/01/2006 06:56:00 AM  

Blogger MotherReader said...

I know this isn't precisely your audience, but for what it is worth, the kids lit bloggers are VERY nice to each other. We link to each other's posts, we make nice comments, and when a new person joins the block, we give them a shout-out. I've even organized a 48 Hour Book Challenge for the weekend of June 16th (rules on my site) and all my peeps are playing. In fact, if you guys want to have a 48 Hour Romanceathon in solidarity, go for it.

You are one of the few adult book blogs that I link to because you are always funny and interesting. Plus, I like the hot guys featured here.

6/01/2006 10:18:00 AM  

Anonymous jordis said...

I can't believe this is happening. Such disgrace.

6/01/2006 10:44:00 AM  

Anonymous Die Hure said...

I'm confused, why are are those women topless and how come that is a turn on for men? UGHHH Lord knows what stuff you can get from that mud!

I don't know the authors that say those things, but I would not buy them either. I was member of some other bords before, but not anymore because they are very mean sometimes, and I don't like it. I like it here now :)

6/01/2006 11:24:00 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who are the authors you're refering to VT? I wouldn't want to buy them either.

I would also like to take this as a window to voice something I should have said already. In this blog, even if the topic is controversial, like that time you did that expose, LOL, it didn't get out of hand. (well here it didn't, but there, hell froze over LOL). Of course there were angry posters, LOL but you two kept it straight. I was afraid to post then even as anonymous but now I want to say, Harlot and VT, you did such a great job. Keep it up.

- G

6/01/2006 12:27:00 PM  

Blogger Lorelei said...

I've been part of some BBs before that have such horrible members. I left those of course. Then there are the blogs that are no different. Posters attacking other posters, authors attacking other authors and other posters as well(!) and the moderators or blog owners just let them... I have to admit at first, I read some of their exchanges. But then I stopped when I realized it's just too much. It's embarrassing and I thought I don't want to be part of that. Two of those authors have books that just came out and I didn't buy them. Even if I was planning to before that happened.

Trollop and Harlot, so far you've done such a great job. You are both intelligent, witty, and classy women and I think (and I really hope) that you two would be able to maintain the fun this blog always has. :)

6/01/2006 12:43:00 PM  

Blogger T-girl said...

Now I am curious! WTF did I miss???? LOL I feel like that kid in little league... you know the one: He is the one who has no natural talent, no learned talent, he missed half the practices and now his mother dropped him off late for the game! LOL WHAT IS GOING ON??? I always need new authors to ban, there are only like 500 on the list because their writing is so poor as is! LOL Dang it, I am a gossipy bitch who has been out of the loop for a few months, hook a sister up! LOL Did my cajoling work???? Well I tried!

I have to say I love you ladies! Your blog is always fun no matter the subject, even when I do not agree or like the subject, you always make my opossing opinion ok to have... even when I am wrong... wait! NO! YOU are wrong! I see you are brainwashing here also! LOLOLOLOLOL

Hugs, T

6/01/2006 12:47:00 PM  

Blogger Lorelei said...

Hot Mama, I just saw your comment on the shoutbox. I prefer typing on the comment section so I hope it's okay if I answer through here. :)

It's no secret so I'm sure Harlot and Trollop won't mind. The ones I was referring to are Laura Lee Guhrke (with Jaid Black) and MaryJanice Davidson (with other authors and posters). It's a long story. And both are really stupid if you think about it. Bottom line is (Trollop has clearly stated it already), they shouldn't have acted like that.

6/01/2006 12:55:00 PM  

Blogger HOTMAMA said...

Could be, it was all an act to generate entertainment, excitement, even laughs in private? Maybe someone who read them could give their impression?

6/01/2006 01:33:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Hullo ladies :)

Regarding the authors involved, i honestly don't know all of it LOL. I don't really go around on a lot of book blogs as i really don't have time LOL. Lorelei, i don't know about that MJ Davidson one, but i do know about the Laura Lee Gurhke, PC Cast and some other athors who i swear i'd never even heard of before.

But you know guys, this is not really the point of Trollop's article. As you can see, LOL, this is not news already. This happened like a week ago? The thing is, they were attacking each other! It's too embarrassing for grown women to be acting like that, more so for authors. Especially if you think they did it in front of their fans. :S

6/01/2006 01:47:00 PM  

Blogger HOTMAMA said...

For myself, I'm compelled to offer a meak apology to my fav BB Trollop (you're my fav too Harlot lol) regarding my harsh (for me anyway) comments about the "huge cock" blog and beautiful Mark in PASSION. The blog was fab, as usual. I was just being very sensitive about one of my fav heros. :P (It's been bothering me, calling you "so predictable", and it was just a bitchy thing to say)

I'm finding that my comments need to be carefully worded so as not to offend sometimes. Maybe more people need to consider that??

6/01/2006 01:51:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...


It wasn't just one post, one site. These things happened in different sites and with different authors.

For one, there was an author that wrote the vilest things about her fans. I don't read her, and never will; she's classless and tactless, and acted like an ass and then pretended it was all a joke! When readers called her on it proceeded (sp?) to trash them some more!!!!!!!!! And then the mud-wrestling began, with all the topless, trashy authors and fans in there.

And then there were the ones asking each other to show their tax statements to the public, to see which one makes more than the other. Jesus, talk about embarrassing!

And some others I probably don't know about...

6/01/2006 01:54:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...


No need to apologize babe :) I wasn't offended at all LOL I know how passionate we all get about our fave books :P Harlot was ready to scratch my eyes out after I told everyone I hated alexander LOL *hiding again* jiji

6/01/2006 01:56:00 PM  

Blogger juanabanana said...

Hi was hoping someone knew where Bawdy Babe is. Good friend of mine but seems to have disappeared. Any news? juanita

6/01/2006 02:09:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

Fearing Harlot, will copy/paste my tagboard comment about this post here. She's so freaking anal about this stuff LOL

Harlot named some of the authors on comments. I don't even know most of them tbh but I sure as hell not buying them now. It appears this has been happening for quite some time, and I've known about these things for weeks. Thought they would die down, but instead some more keep popping up! So embarrassing!

I want to say, this post is not to attack anyone, but for authors, fans and bloggers to see that their actions do bother some, and put them off their sites/books. Of course me not buying their books means nothing to them, but I'm still doing it.

6/01/2006 02:19:00 PM  

Blogger Serendipity said...

Petra...McNaught is great huh!

So Bitches, are you going to have a McNaught for BBC?

6/01/2006 02:32:00 PM  

Anonymous marge said...

OMG! I just bought the new Laura Lee book! Ack.

6/01/2006 02:36:00 PM  

Blogger Karen Scott said...

I can't imagine who you're talking about in your first paragraph, re the book covers. *g*

As for authors slagging each other off in public, I guess it'll always happen, because some people are just not as clever as they should be. The whole 'Picklegate' incident was a scream, and yes, I found the slagfest rather entertaining. But I'm kinda sick like that.

I must admit though, I prefer to observe the various shenanigans, then discuss on my own blog, rather than wading into the shitfest that generally ensues. I can be as confrontational as the next person, but I tend to let loose on my own blog rather than take over somebody else's. It's much more fun that way.

6/01/2006 03:50:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

Karen babe,

It's actually b/c of your blog that I know about most of these things LOL I love your writing and the spin you've given to these "discussions"

IMO it's good that you address these in your own turf instead of playing in the mud in those other sites :P Plus, everyone is nice and civil in your blog :D

Actually, I Also thrive in confrontation LOL. it's just no fun when it's with stupid people *sigh*

As for the book covers *cough* I'm sure I don't know what you mean LOL *wink*

6/01/2006 04:00:00 PM  

Blogger Danielle De Barbarac said...

I've never heard of Laura Lee Guhke. Not that I'm going to buy her books now, LOL.

People I've met here are from different countries, from different cultures with different opinions and still, even when people disagree with each other, no one gets catty. I love this blog. :)

6/01/2006 04:44:00 PM  

Anonymous turkey said...

What is wrong with these authors? Surely they didn't think this won't come back and bite them im the ass.

6/01/2006 10:08:00 PM  

Anonymous andrea said...

That's such a very shitty way to do, these authors acted like uneducated people. They're trying to cover it now, the thread's gone. Kinda too late, don't you think? Everyone saw it already and people never forget crap like this.

6/01/2006 10:32:00 PM  

Blogger Rachel said...

The birds were right. Some people have them. Some people don't. In this case, brains, class, and fans who will buy their books again.

6/01/2006 11:18:00 PM  

Blogger Isabella said...

That mud wrestling is funny. LOL

Very appropriate. :P

6/01/2006 11:58:00 PM  

Anonymous sylvia said...

Ms. Guhrke is clearly the one who's in the wrong here. She doesn't know the facts, therefore she shouldn't have argued in the first place. She actually thought she knew better than Jaid Black, head of EC, when it comes to EC's income and success. Oh my, that's just stupid.

6/02/2006 12:33:00 AM  

Blogger C Bradshaw said...

And then she proceeded by saying earning $60,000 a year through writing is of no consequence. LOL

6/02/2006 01:49:00 AM  

Blogger Dakota Cassidy said...

riiiiiiing--ring-a-ling-a-ling "Hello, Sanity, this is Relieved..."

LOLLOL. Thank GOD someone addressed this.

Oy, I can't tell you how much I hate that kind of blog crap. I love a good controversy, we all do. However, I don't love it when authors are mean to each other and it happens far more often than you'd think. But there are a handful of folk who aren't like that. It doesn't always have to be about the competition.

Sometimes, authors who are more successful want to share a piece of their pie. hell, they offer you a fork.

Those who bash and malign are insecure and hate the new trends that have hit romance enough to strike out via what they know best. The written word.

Sadly, words on a blog are subject to interpretation and like with your books, not everyone'e gonna love your opinion :)

Dakota :)

6/02/2006 02:56:00 AM  

Blogger T-girl said...

HotMama- THANK YOU!!! I was starting to think I needed to come out of my little black hole a little more! LOL Not a LLG fan to begin with there and have no read the other author meantioned!

Dakota- I could not agree with you more. You a have a great way with words, thanks for putting it into a way that not only was short and consise- I lack that talent, if you had not noticed- but very true!

Hugs all, T

6/02/2006 03:05:00 PM  

Blogger T-girl said...

Just posting to correct myself... Sorry Lorelei I did you wrong, for some reason I thought HotMama answered my question!

Also I checked out the authors you meantioned and litterally came upon a blog that catagorizes ALL of this BS, not just with these authors but others as well. It is like her whole damn blog and life is about these little tiffs... swear to God, NOTHING but drama on it! WTF? And I thought I had no life! Tell you what Bitches, you all just made my whole year, I NOW know that my lack of life issues are NOTHING compared to some, in fact kind of made me want to stay in my little hole for a bit longer!

6/02/2006 03:26:00 PM  

Blogger Petra said...

I used to like this blog by, I thought was a smart person who state her opinions but not in a rude way. That is, until a week ago. She had a point in the beginning but then went overboard. I guess it's her right as it's her blog, but she should have cut her losses when she realized (as I'm sure she did) that she was wrong. If she can dish out shit, then she sure as hell can take some shit back.

This shitty thing going on in book blogs is just sad. :(

6/26/2006 09:33:00 AM  

Anonymous Karen Scott said...

Petra wrote:
"but she should have cut her losses when she realized (as I'm sure she did) that she was wrong."

Actually Petra, I don't believe she was wrong at all. You shouldn't presume to know what other people are thinking.

Sorry girls, I just had to pop in and clarify that point, because that's the second time I've read that particular paragraph this week.

6/26/2006 12:38:00 PM  

Blogger Dakota Cassidy said...

Aw, H and T--you guys ROCK.

There's a line that's crossed a lot in the blog/e-world. I think it's the anonymity of it all. When you communicate with your fans via a medium like the Internet I think you forget who YOU really are sometimes.

I've met folks who were nothing like they were in e-mail. Folks I didn't think I'd like, but did in the end because we had some face time. Hence, I try really hard not to pass judgment. The biggest mouths online are sometimes the meekest mouses in RL and vice versa. LOL

However, the slug fests online are aplenty and they're ugly. I'm all for voicing your opinion if you don't like something. I'm guilty of speaking my mind on my blog too. I do it with humor and I do it anonymously. I usually give an overall op on the situation as a whole if I feel an injustice occurred. I only wish I could impress upon those who bash that it's just not funny if you have to resort to cruelties to make your point and the Jerry Springer show is kinda nineties. LOL

I stay out of the mud-slinging for the most part. But that doesn't mean an errant mudball doesn't nail me in the head without warning. LOLLOL. And in the end, I just stop going where the mud wrestling matches keep breaking out. Cuz really, I can't afford to get mud in my hair. LMAO

Dakota :)

6/26/2006 01:47:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...


That's fine babe. Everyone has a voice here as long as they do it nicely like you just did :)

So, you're going to LA? Never been there. SOOOOOOOOOOO ENVIOUS! :p

6/26/2006 02:01:00 PM  

Anonymous Kristine said...

Such a shame with all these cat fights, meanness, maliciousness happening, all unnecessary. Bloggers. Authors. And all women. Sad thing, really.

6/26/2006 05:06:00 PM  

Blogger Petra said...

Karen, I'm sorry about that. I have my opinion and you have yours. No matter what, it's good to express them nicely, don't you think? And out of respect to Trollop and Harlot, I'm not bringing anything into their blog. I'm just saying that rudeness and meanness should never be tolerated, especially not in your own home.

6/28/2006 07:07:00 PM