Thursday, June 22, 2006

20 things I hate about Trollop

How exactly do I hate Trollop? Oh, let me count the ways...

I hate that she leaves chats without saying goodbye. Grrr.
I hate that she does things for people who can fucking do it themselves! (I DESPISE those fuckers who keep popping up and asking her for stuff. What? Too stupid to think/do it yourselves?!?)
I hate that she doesn’t know how to let go, worries about things she knows she has no control of. (Comes with wanting to be a dominatrix, I suppose.)
I hate that she can cook anything—and I mean anything—even when she’s not prepared and there’s not enough time.
I hate that she lives far away from me.
I hate that she works too much.
I hate that she gives too much.
I hate that she gives the best advice.
I hate that she is usually right.
I hate that she has the ability to make me worry when I’m the Queen of I-Don’t-Care Land.
I hate that she knows what I’m thinking, even before I say what’s on my mind.
I hate that she knows what I’m feeling, even when I say “I’m okay, babe,” she knows it’s a lie.
I hate that she is nice to people who don’t even deserve her smiles.
I hate that when she’s sad, she makes me sad too.
I hate that she can make me laugh even when I cry.
I hate that she doesn’t always see the great things in herself.
I hate that compared to what she has achieved I haven’t done enough out of my life.
I hate that she makes me want to be a better person, and I’m forced to do it too because if I don’t, I’ll look like a loser when we stand side by side.
I hate that, no matter what happens, even without me, she’ll always do fine.
I hate that, even with all the breath, smiles and tears of all my life, I’m only going to be second best Book Bitch, yet still makes me love her with all my might.

Labels:


27 comment(s):

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

Babe, no matter how many nice things you say about me YOU ARE NOT GETTING RAOUL!

Now, I do admit that I sometimes sort of forget to say goodbye in chats lol or leave for a long time and then come back :P It's just, I dunno, I forget!

And I don't go around helping everyone, just sometimes people need my help and well, I don't really mind doing it.

I have to admit, I do give the best advice :D and I'm sorry but I do see the great things about myself i.e. great boobs :P

And pleeaaseee, you've achieved a lot! Aren't you the Phils oral sex guru? I'm not even in the top ten here in the island LOL

You know I love you babe, though you did erase my "idiot" post and ruined the other post I had planned for today arrrggg (we really need smilies here).

6/22/2006 01:09:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Oh babe, i forgot to include this. Should be 21st on my list:

I hate it when you think Raoul is yours, when we both know he is MINE, you evil woman!!!

6/22/2006 01:37:00 PM  

Blogger T-girl said...

LMAO! HARLOT- You will NEVER be second best in my book! From where I am standing you are right there side by side! "I love you man!" (what movie was that from? Probably some bad 80's flick...)

I have to say she DOES do the chat thing and NOT just to you. You will be going along fine, talking away and all of a sudden NOTHING! Just silence, you can call out, you can "buzz" her and still... static... then she comes back as if she did not miss a moment and half the time mid-sentance so you have to think back to figure out wtf you were talking about. Maybe she has narcalepsy and doesn't know. LMAO I have found that just not chatting with her does the trick. LMAO JUUUUUUST kidding! Speaking of which I need to catch one of you here soon, never an easy feat since I have been trying since like 1982 I think to catch you. I have what we discussed like six months ago for you! :) (yes you really DO need smilies, I feel like it is 1997 EM in here! LMAO)

6/22/2006 01:53:00 PM  

Blogger Danielle De Barbarac said...

Awww, Harlot that's wonderful. Trollop, I hope everything went okay with your thing this morning. :)

6/22/2006 02:03:00 PM  

Blogger marcos said...

Hi, i love your blog.. and there´s one thing that i wanted to ask for a long time: when i first started reading this blog it was 4 of you.. what happened? where are the others.
Un abrazo
Marcos

6/22/2006 03:53:00 PM  

Blogger Dakota Cassidy said...

aaawwwwww. That was lovely and a nice change for me to see a blog with some positive ju-ju's.

Know what I hate about her? That she's so damned cute. LOLLOL

But I kinda dig her too :)

Dakota :)

6/22/2006 04:04:00 PM  

Blogger C Bradshaw said...

Awww that's lovely. :)

Trollop, hope things are better. :D

6/22/2006 04:26:00 PM  

Blogger Vanessa said...

Awwwww...

I think you're both lucky to have each other. It's not everyday you find someone you "hate" this much. LOL ;)

6/22/2006 05:08:00 PM  

Blogger Jordis said...

Longer, brighter days ahead for all of us. And here's to your friendship, Harlot and Trollop - friendship like yours are gold.

6/22/2006 05:15:00 PM  

Blogger Lorelei said...

Oh, that's lovely. :)

Cheers to you both!

6/22/2006 06:43:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

I have to make my own "what i hate about Harlot" post (I had one planned for today called: Harlot appreciation day but that witch beat me to it arrgggg!). Have I told you guys how much I love my little bunny killer? LOL

6/22/2006 07:59:00 PM  

Blogger Petra said...

Harlot, that's very lovely. Trollop, hope you're fine. Dakota's right, such a nice change from all the book blogs that either let things get out of hand (well I guess it's her right to be stupid as it's her blog), or those who call themselves smart when all they do is make fun of book covers and fucking mantittie (which stopped being funny a LOOONG time ago), and then of course the one that trashes mercilessly but isn't willing to take the smallest amount of criticism.

6/22/2006 08:04:00 PM  

Blogger Aggie said...

Aww you two ... so sweet!
I love you two bitchin' at each other. Makes me laugh alot. I know someone who does that for me too. Wouldn't be without it. Friends are soooooo precious. Take care of each other you two.

6/22/2006 08:22:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

Dakota,

After your comment I went and checked to make sure that our fun/informative/eye-candy posts outweigh our bitchy ramblings b/c in all honesty that seems to happen in other bb's/blogs saddens me.

Bitchin' is good fun, but when that is ALL you do (hurt, trash and make fun -even if it is in a fun/snarky way) I believe you lose something as a person and I'm pretty sure people (even those who adore you at the moment) will get tired of the negativity and end up turning away from you.

I think there is so much talent (Harlot and I weren't blessed with much of that LOL) going to waste by negative and useless posts in the book blog** community. Yes, those are fun and enjoyable, and we do some ourselves, but there are also so many other interesting topics that would be fun to discuss. I don’t know, just my opinion I guess.

Anything in excess is bad.

**I am not referring to any blogger/blog in specific, but to random posts I’ve read in the last month or so, since I discovered the other book sites. There are some wonderful blogs out there with great stuff, but most of the ones I’ve seen have these horrible bloggers/authors/readers cat fights which I think get a bit out of hand LOL.

6/22/2006 08:28:00 PM  

Anonymous Lola lovegood said...

Trollop,

You can cook anything? Anything at all? What about lobster/shrimp lasagna in a white wine and parseley sauce? LOL Had that in Jamaica once and have tried to make it mysekf to no avail!

Harlot,

I am sure Trollop hates you too! ;-)

Petra,

I know who the mantittie people are, but who are the other two? Curious... (if it's top-secret or will start a fight it's better if you don't tell me) :-)

6/22/2006 08:32:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

I didn't know we have a Harlot appreciation day. *sniff* And i am not a bunny killer!!! Grrr


Lola,
Trollop can even make a bread with that loster/shrimp lasagna (YUM!) of yours. From scratch. Bruschetta(sp?) even if you want. Uh-hmm. ;)

6/22/2006 08:38:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

Petra,

I would like to respectfully ask you not to mention the sites you are refering to :) I do hope that's ok.

Lola, It's not top-secret I'm sure you'll find them yourself LOL but I'd rather not bring our blog into any of it. I love a good fight as much as the next guy LOL but only when it's something that it's really worth it to me, or when I've no choice left at all (i.e. our Ding Dong post :P).

BTW Lola, did you start the HP audiobooks? I'm almost finishing the series; started HP6 today :D

6/22/2006 08:39:00 PM  

Blogger Petra said...

I won't, Trollop. To be honest, it's sad. Oh well. Anyway, this is why I love this blog. You two are bitchy but always fun. You and Harlot are very classy and smart not to let things get out of hand. Keep it up, ladies.

6/22/2006 09:00:00 PM  

Blogger Dakota Cassidy said...

yeah, you guys are really classy :)

DC :)

6/22/2006 09:10:00 PM  

Blogger Rachel said...

Awwwww.... so sweet! A great friendship always deserves a celebration. So for you both and this wonderful blog, big salute!

BTW Trollop, I love bruschettas. :D

6/22/2006 09:14:00 PM  

Blogger HOTMAMA said...

Harlot, what a lovely tribute to your Trollop and your friendship. It's almost poetic, the way you've expressed yourself here :)

I've been in awe of both your's and Trollop's talent (you're quite rich with it you know!) and your relationship since coming here.

Ok enough sucking up lol!

Did you ever make homemade ravioli Trollop?? I probably make the best meatballs in town, I have to say lol ;)

6/22/2006 10:21:00 PM  

Anonymous Lucy said...

Hola! Greetings from Chile.

Great blog.

6/22/2006 10:21:00 PM  

Anonymous Vixen said...

Harlot, this was great post.

Re: cooking. Trollop have you tried that portabella/feta/pasta dish I emailed you?

HM, will you share your meatball recipe?

6/23/2006 12:03:00 AM  

Blogger HOTMAMA said...

Vixen, this is becoming like a telepathy thing LOL! After I posted about the meatballs I thought, if someone asks for the recipe I DON'T HAVE ONE! LMAO

I'll email you with basic ingredients, but one of the secrets is ground pork and veal, no beef. Nothing is measured though :P

6/23/2006 01:10:00 AM  

Anonymous hehesnort said...

Great post. T-girl..."I love you man" got really mainstream after Wayne's World came out :)
~hehe

6/23/2006 05:32:00 AM  

Blogger HOTMAMA said...

Wasn't "I love you man" also from a beer commercial?

6/23/2006 12:29:00 PM  

Blogger T-girl said...

YES! THAT is what I was thinking of, it was a Miller (may have been Coors though not sure) commercial I think back in the 90's!

Thanks guys! I need all the help I can get!

6/23/2006 02:36:00 PM