Monday, May 21, 2007

Eric Bana's HUGE codpiece

I was looking for some Eric Bana pictures—you know, just because *g* (oh, shut up!)—when I found this:

Lordy, am I the only one staring at that enormous penis—I mean codpiece? Honestly, I’ve never seen anything so... big. Tee-hee. Well, I’m not the only who has a dirty mind, you ingrates. *hmph*

Scarlett Johansson struggled while acting with co-star Eric Bana in new movie The Other Boleyn Girlshe couldn’t stop looking at his private parts.

Bana who plays Henry VIII in the movie, had to wear a codpiece for the part a decorative flap used to cover male genitalia in medieval England, and it proved to be too much of a distraction for Johansson.

Johansson, who plays Mary Boleyn in the film, says, “We’d be ready to do a scene and I couldn’t look at anything else. I won’t get over that codpiece for a long time.”

“Eric would use it as a tool. He would rest his hands or a cup of coffee on it. People would even lead him around the set by it.”

I don’t know how I lived without hearing about this juicy news (particularly since it involves EB’s privates) but now that I do, I’m suddenly overcome with the need to get a job on TOBG’s movie set. Could I pritti please apply with the official job title as “Eric Bana’s Harloty Codpiece Holder”? :P Seriously, I’ll be happy to polish EB’s codpiece for him. Ohhh, I can just imagine my days full of EB’s codpiece... choosing between common or “bologna” codpiece, egg-shaped or “huevos rancheros,” be-ribboned or “foofy,” armored or “sausage o’ steel”... ay mama mia... *so far-away look* *sigh*

Er, anyhoodles LOL, since I’m a complete perv, here’s a close-up of EB’s codpiece—just because this is the kind of ooh-la-la delight that deserves to be significantly featured by us Bitches. ;)

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29 comment(s):

Blogger Polly King said...


I'm looking forward to seeing TOBG movie. I had my doubts when they chose Eric as Henry VIII but I am convinced now. Eric is a good actor, and he has a big codpiece. LOL!

This made my day. Thanks for the laugh BBs :D

5/21/2007 01:01:00 PM  

Blogger Isabella said...

LOL! I don't even know what a codpiece is! I thoroughly enjoyed the book, thanks to BBC, so this is one of the movies I'm looking forward to seeing. (Speaking of movies, POTC is this week! Johnny! Yay!)

5/21/2007 02:00:00 PM  

Anonymous ~Cassie~ said...

Hahaha!! I have never heard of this tidbit but it sure was funny. Bolona codpiece, sausage o steel.... no wonder they were towing him around the set by it haha!

5/21/2007 02:30:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

Yowsa! LOL

So men used to walk around with an erect looking member all day? I don't mind Eric Bana with it though *YUMM*

5/21/2007 03:47:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

I just looked at the enlarged pic again, and that looks a lot like a grilled blood sausage!

5/21/2007 03:52:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Oh for the love of god, of all things to compare it with! :@

5/21/2007 04:06:00 PM  

Blogger Jordis Juice said...

"Eric Bana's Harloty Codpiece Holder." LOL. Is it true that during the Middle Ages the bigger your codpiece the better? Imagine if men are still using that thing to cover their penises. Actually, why do they say it is to cover the penis when wearing a codpiece actually emphasizes it?

5/21/2007 04:10:00 PM  

Blogger ames said...

My jaw dropped. I want to be Harlot's assistant, for when she gets tired. LOL

5/21/2007 04:13:00 PM  

Blogger Menchie said...

Can't blame Scarlett for getting distracted -- I wouldn't be able to look at anything else! It looks funny though. :D

5/21/2007 08:31:00 PM  

Anonymous Ollenska said...

I won't be able to help myself and stare as well. How big is that thing that he could rest his cup of coffee on it? :P


5/21/2007 10:49:00 PM  

Blogger Lorelei said...

So codpiece is like the Scots' sporran? I heard they put coins in there :p

5/21/2007 11:01:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Lorelei, i thought you were kidding! I know they put coins in their sporrans but in their codpiece??? Apparently they do, and other stuff including snuff LOL. (Where exactly is the opening there? :/) Here's from Wiki:

At first, the codpiece was entirely a practical matter of modesty. Men's hose were typically very snug on the legs and open at the crotch, with the genitalia simply hanging loose under the doublet. As changing fashions led to shorter doublets, the codpiece was created to cover the crotch. Alternate versions of the origin of the codpiece exist.

As time passed, codpieces were shaped to emphasize the male genitalia and eventually often became padded and bizarrely shaped. They also often doubled as pockets, handy carrying places for a variety of items such as coins and snuff. In England in the latter half of Queen Elizabeth I's reign, the codpiece and doublet merged into the "peascod" doublet, and the codpiece faded from fashion.

5/21/2007 11:34:00 PM  

Anonymous Lindsey said...

Harlot, you crack me up. Yes, yes, yes to Eric Bana... his arms and his accent... big codpiece and all.

5/22/2007 12:49:00 AM  

Blogger Jolie said...

They should have at least shown Natalie Portman's pretty face. Or is she looking at Eric Bana's codpiece?

5/22/2007 03:18:00 AM  

Anonymous Luci said...

Oh LOL this is so funny. You can't help your eyes being magnetised straight there :)

5/22/2007 04:45:00 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...


I bet men used to make up the largest pods they could and get all the ladies hot and bothered and then when they removed them, there were just little weenies for real! Lots of crestfallen women's faces afterwards! lol!

5/22/2007 06:28:00 AM  

Blogger Petra said...

LOL! That's funny! Do you think during those time men thought, "Mmmmmm, what should I wear today to emphasize my codpiece... Oh no, not that! How ridiculous! That doesn't go well with my beautiful codpiece!"

5/22/2007 08:50:00 AM  

Blogger The Sarah said...

I will buy the BF a codpiece today!

And what a wonderful thought... Him walking into the bank where he works with a codpiece and a suit.

Yay to codpieces!

5/22/2007 09:21:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Sarah, LOL. Did you guys know there's a "Bring Back the Codpiece" campaign? :P

5/22/2007 10:21:00 AM  

Blogger Jordis Juice said...

The equivalent of the codpiece may be a brassiere for women.

Women's clothing has been the primary focus of fashion magazines, talk shows, costume history, and controversy. But what about men? All men have had to be excited about is the length and width of their ties.

Bring back the codpiece! LOL!

5/22/2007 10:48:00 AM  

Blogger Vanessa said...

OMG, this is hilarious! Harlot, I can't believe you even had a close-up picture of.... of it! Only you Book Bitches :D

Bring back the codpiece and let's all be distracted! Lol

5/22/2007 11:19:00 AM  

Blogger Danielle De Barbarac said...

LOL so funny! I'll stare too if I were Scarlet ;)

5/22/2007 12:50:00 PM  

Blogger Petra said...

There's actually a campaign to bring the codpiece back? LMAO!

5/22/2007 07:38:00 PM  

Anonymous Allyson said...

My side hurts from laughing! I love Eric Bana. This makes me love him more hahaha...!

5/22/2007 08:11:00 PM  

Blogger Ladybug said...

This is so funny! I think my favorite is the sausage o' steel, not that I've tried them on, LOL.

5/23/2007 08:49:00 AM  

Blogger Jolie said...

This picture makes me laugh every time I see it! LOL

5/24/2007 03:41:00 AM  

Anonymous Amanda said...

Chuckles. That was hilarious.

5/24/2007 09:58:00 PM  

Anonymous Andy said...

OMG, hahaha that was funny!

5/31/2007 07:14:00 PM  

Blogger barelyscottish said...

Sorry to burts your bubble but that's a man purse :p

6/14/2010 01:45:00 PM