Friday, May 25, 2007

F*ck you and the horse you rode in on origin

Last December I showed you guys how perverted and twisted some of our visitors are LOL. From the blatantly kinky, to the randomly confused and cluelessly horny, to the... er, scary freakos, these people find us with certain query terms that, if analyzed by someone who didn’t know TBB is mostly a book blog, there’s no doubt they’d believe we’re a porn site!

Just take the number one keyword for example: “big cock.” This term ALWAYS appears on our analysis. I’m pretty sure I don’t have a big cock (despite the sailor mouth, I’m 100% girl, you maniacs). I’ve seen Trollop half-naked (she usually has her webcam on and I swear she doesn’t own any clothes; she’s always in her underwear) and unless my eyes deceived me or she knows some fancy taping maneuvers, I’m sure she doesn’t have one either. (Just the way she complains and fusses over her hair makes me sure she’s a girl—or a drag queen, at the very least. :/) Still, each and every day the very popular “big cock” appears on the list: big cock feels good, big cock hurts, big feet/hands equals big cock? Wow, 14 inches! Playing with big cock, sucking it, wanking it... Honestly, I’ve seen enough big cocks to last me a lifetime!!! (No pun intended LOL.)

Anyhoodles, here are some of the terms I gathered that pointed to our blog:
  • things to know when in prison
  • why you always feel smarter after couple of booty
  • the doctor is in
  • how to play hide the salami
  • sweet hot sex and juicy bubble butt
  • im free tonight, pop round you
  • gallery goat love
  • nipples candy fetish
  • benjamin the well hung horse
  • toothless old man oral sex
  • i love skat play but hate the smell
  • husband crossdressing as britney spears photos
  • mr. santa bring me a treat, climb down my chimney ive got something to eat
  • how to say i want to lick you between the legs in spanish
  • five and a half years without sex
  • i wanked him with my dirty knickers
  • i want to eat ketchup and fuck chickens
  • video of woman who tries to take baseball bat up pussy
  • white-pasty faced photo of the sister who had put on too much makeup
  • what will give susan the most intense orgasm she has ever had
  • sex in barn how much joy can you stand
  • ladies buying male pleasure slaves
  • dog licking my vulva
  • daniel radcliffe penis inches
  • sex with farm animals rent ranch for summer
  • italian fongool
  • her grandmother hates my big cock
  • she smothered his face into the crotch of her smelly panties
  • how to milk a cat during sex
  • woman masturbating with gherkin picture
  • tripped over my dog and was knocked unconscious
  • how to win an argument with your wife over cheating
  • hubby takes wife out dogging
  • curlers burned my pubic hair
Look at this screenshot I took the other day:




Seriously, what else is there to say but, yes, we are the “prettiest sexiest bitches” *g* and, indeed, Harlot is hot. *wink*

Labels: , ,


26 comment(s):

Blogger Petra said...

"Sex in barn how much joy can you stand" "curlers burned my pubic hair"

LMAO! I can't breathe from laughing so hard!

5/25/2007 03:08:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

I'm worry about the mental health issues some of the people that find themselves here present :/

things to know when in prison? Don't let your soap slip out of your hands in the shower, and make sure you take plenty of vaseline with you.

the doctor is in? where exactly? What kind of doctor is this? LOL

Is this horse benjamin famous? Never heard of him.

five years and a half without sex was probably not in prison like that other guy, cause I'm sure that one was getting plenty of action! LOL

That guy that wants to fuck the chicken has to be the same one that wants to rent the ranch to have sex with farm animals this summer!!!!!!

And what's up with all these women and dirty underwear? That's just plain sick.

But my favorite is the one that curls her pubic hair! LOL LOL LOL Was she growing it specifically (sp?) to curl it?!?!?! She must be sad indeed then if she burnt her purrty locks off! LOL

5/25/2007 03:32:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Some of these searches are hilarious. My favorite is the burned pubic hair LOL! (It reminds me of Samantha from SATC when she colored her crotch clown red. :P)

Now, the others are plain sick!

I want to eat ketchup and fuck chickens? I know there are sick men out there who actually fucks a horse or a dog *gag* but a chicken?

Her grandmother hates my big cock? Gasp! Did the grandma tried it??

Why on earth would anyone be turned on by a smelly undies is beyond me. Yuck.

How to win an argument with your wife over cheating. Um, YOU CAN'T, YOU CHEATER!!!

5/25/2007 04:19:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

"That guy that wants to fuck the chicken has to be the same one that wants to rent the ranch to have sex with farm animals this summer!!!!!!"

LOL. So true. :P

5/25/2007 04:20:00 PM  

Anonymous Diana said...

OH sweet jesus, I had to go for a glass of water to calm myself after I read that "toothless old man oral sex" sentence, and then it just went down hill from there. ROTFL

I take it the man that wants to learn the spanish term for "licking between her legs" is trying to woo some unsuspecting latina? How romantic!

5/25/2007 04:29:00 PM  

Blogger Danielle De Barbarac said...

LMAO!! I just sprayed coffee all over my keyboard!

Do you think some of these people are looking for fanfic? Nevertheless who wants to read about those. Eat ketchup while fucking a chicken? Smothered his face into the crotch of her smelly pussy?

I have no idea what a fongool is. And what does it mean "hubby takes wife out dogging"? LOL.

5/25/2007 04:42:00 PM  

Blogger Lola Lovegood said...

Warn a girl when you're going to post something like this, I'm not as young as I used to be! LMAO

How to milk a cat during sex? Dog licking my vulva? We should call animal rights on these sick twisted perverts! Who even thinks stuff like this? And what do they mean milk a cat? It can't possibly be masturbate it, can it?

Hubby is behind me reading and can't stop laughing.

5/25/2007 05:19:00 PM  

Anonymous Ollenska said...

Ohmygod. Is it possible to take a baseball bat inside you? Not that I'm going to try...

Scary but hilarious searches. You know bitches, between your sex articles (which I'm very grateful of, and they are all well-written essential references) and Harlot posting eye candy, your blog could pass up for a porno site. lol

Olly

5/25/2007 05:38:00 PM  

Blogger Vanessa said...

RONTFL! This is hilarious. Whoever said the www is full of perverts must be one of those engineers who deal with word searches. That guy who wants to eat ketchup and fuck chicken is one of the sickest things I've ever heard. And dirty knickers, euuuuww.

This is my favorite: sex in barn how much joy can you stand. It rhymes!

5/25/2007 06:14:00 PM  

Blogger QB said...

From the titles of those searches, I think you should just go ahead and change your name from "Book Bitches" to "Skanky Ho Bitches" (You realize that, because I typed it, you're gonna get search hits on it now?)

I had a weird one the other day I'm still trying to figure out "eve dallas bladder", WTF would someone search for THAT?

Now I'm off to see if that searcher found success with "josh-wald, bare naked" Did I mention that Josh Wald and Raoul Bova are at the top of my "Most Wanted Menage" list? *g*

5/25/2007 06:35:00 PM  

Blogger Isabella said...

Curlers burned my pubic hair? LOL! How long could your pubic hair possibly be to be able to curl it?

What is up with the dirty smelly panties? And masturbating with gherkin pictures? Isn't gherkin a cucumber or something?

Tripped over my dog and was knocked unconscious. I bet that's Paula Abdul!

5/25/2007 06:50:00 PM  

Anonymous ~Cassie~ said...

Prettiest, sexiest bitches indeed :) LOL at the terms bitches.

"What will give the most intense orgasm she has ever had" I want to know the answer to this too ;)

5/25/2007 07:09:00 PM  

Blogger Ladybug said...

LOL. Some of these terms are downright freaky. How to milk a cat during sex, dog licking my vulva, sex with farm animals rent ranch for summer... Who are these people?!

I know Harlot is into Italian men but what is a fongool? Skat? Gherkin picture?

Can't stop laughing. LOL.

5/25/2007 11:27:00 PM  

Blogger Aggie said...

lol! lol! lol! Bunch of freaks!

Now I wanna know what an Italian Fongool is???
aka Raoul???

5/26/2007 12:40:00 AM  

Blogger Mailyn said...

Just stopping by to say hello. Have you gals seen POTC3 yet? It rocked!

5/26/2007 03:09:00 AM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

Mailyn,

Getting ready to leave for the movies as we speak!!! So excited. Of course I'll have to go on my own *sniff*

Anyhoodles, off I go. Review for sure when I get back, and bbc too you lazy wenches! :P

5/26/2007 04:42:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Hey Mailyn, how are ya? As a matter of fact getting ready now, going out to watch it with Trollop. ;) I'm glad to hear it rocked! Ohhh, i really hope it's uber good..



RE: fongool and gherkin

My Raoul is definitely NOT fongool!!! (Aggie *grrr*) According to Urban Dictionary, fongool is:

Italian-Americanised mispronunciation of the phrase "Va'a fare in culo" (literally "go do it in the ass") often shortened to "vaffanculo", or just "fongool". :/

Now, gherkin is that veggie they use to make pickles. But it's also a slang for "small dick". ;P Okay, i have to go now, BF is waiting, late late late! BBC later!!!! *besos*

5/26/2007 05:00:00 AM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

LOVED pirates!!!! More on that later.

I've been wondering how some of these sickos find us because I dont ever remember taling about pubic hair and curlers :S The scat thing I remember commenting with Dakota once on comments and I once wrote in a post that Orlando Bloom looks like he has sex with farm animals in his spare time. But, really, some of those are just too odd, the milking cat during sex and dirty underwear, I can asure you I don't condone the use of smelly knickers during sex LOL

5/26/2007 10:39:00 AM  

Blogger Jordis Juice said...

Based from that, it seems that sex with animals is a current topic on this blog. LOL

Sick perverts! LOL

5/26/2007 06:45:00 PM  

Blogger Lorelei said...

Lol! Good one bitches. From the toothless old man giving oral sex, I couldn't stop laughing! Jesus, some of these are very sick!

5/26/2007 09:55:00 PM  

Blogger Polly King said...

Ha! I learned a new word today: fongool :P

Sick keywords but thanks for the laugh bitches. Curlers burned my pubic hair, LOL!

5/26/2007 11:14:00 PM  

Blogger Aggie said...

LMAO at meaning of Fongool. No definitely not Raoul .... HaHaHa!

5/27/2007 12:45:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Uh-mm. Raoul definitely not Fongool!!! (Ack, i can't believe it rhymes!)

5/27/2007 01:12:00 AM  

Blogger Jolie said...

Oh now I get Aggie's fongooling discussion comment on the previous thread. LOL. I thought, what the hell is a fongool?

I love this BBs. Still laughing! The chicken freak, milking of cat, the hubby dogging, sex in barn is too fun... that's too many freaks with animals!

5/27/2007 07:18:00 AM  

Anonymous potenta said...

maybe it's my genes... :)

I'm a 41 year old woman and althow i enjoy having sex with my housband, i'm disapointed for the fact that i've NEVER had an orgasm. I hear that for many women it just comes natural , but sadly it isn't my case.

Althow i know many women have the same problem, and my comment is of no surpise to anyone, i want to do my best and find a solution.

I've been thinking that maybe my housband isn't as tender and loveable as he should, but curiosity has never pushed me so far as to cheat on him with another man. Should i? Could change be a solution?

I've tried all sorts of pills and aphrodisiacs, but nothing so far...

If you have any advise, please reply to this comment. I've just started posting for a couple of days, so i'll be checking in often :)

Thank you!

Potenta

2/26/2010 04:04:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Hullo Potenta,

Please go here: http://thebookbitches.blogspot.com/2010/02/help-need-advice.html

I have asked our other readers who still visit for advice. Please be patient and wait for replies seeing as they don't visit every day now that we have stopped blogging. Take care.

2/26/2010 07:02:00 PM