Saturday, December 16, 2006

My goodness, we're popular with perverts!

Whenever I check our stats, I never give attention to our keyword analysis. I know there are visitors who find us through search engines using certain words that nevertheless lead them to our blog. But until yesterday, it never occurred to me how funny these searches could be! Hee... Let me show you some examples of what I’m talking about:
  • jamie fraser abusive fuck
  • nancy grace is a hillbilly i hate her!
  • midget bitches fucking tom cruise
  • trollop who spank me hard with a ruler
  • shes a harlot after my own heart
  • sexy, prettiest bitches
  • most beautiful bitches
Some of them are very amusing; some, to an extent, very flattering (most beautiful bitches indeed *batting eyelashes*). But there were also searches that made me laugh like a loon it’s a wonder I didn’t fall off my chair. Especially if you think that, for a book blog, most of them are *gasp* about sex! (Wonder why... *confused* :P)

From the blatantly kinkies...
  • wow cocks larger than 14 inches long
  • cock too big wont fit
  • we wanked each other off
  • since youre tied down ill tickle you
  • eric dane penis and nipples
  • i put nutella on my penis
  • “huge feet” kiss lick toes
  • give me riding seam of jeans orgasm
  • do me and give me hand sexy bitch
To the fucking confused and cluelessly horny...
  • how do women get best orgasm with rabbit
  • how can you become a member of erotic spank without signing
  • cheaters in their marriage guest book 2006 to canada
  • females masturbating on a clothes dryer give you more intense orgasms
  • books on how to please my man like fucking wow
  • best way to masturbate with shower head
  • does it hurt a woman when a mans cock is too long
  • does big feet means big cock
  • what does dirty harlot mean
  • do most women buy thick or average girth dildos
  • when a guy tells me he loves me...make love to me..and eat with me then take me home does that mean hes cheating
To the, er, scary freakos... :/
  • handjob by local doctor
  • hammer down cheating cock
  • fuck you and the horse you rode in on origin
  • smurfs kill the p’s and take their bitches
  • cat licking my sensitive peaks
  • is okay for my dog to lick my vulva
  • kenny south park theme suck my dick
  • bronze horseman with 10 inch cock
  • fab friends book has little people wearing swimming costumes
  • naked pics of nancy grace helmet hair
I know I should be alarmed by some of these keywords but apparently I am sick enough to find them hilarious even if my mother would disown me for writing a blog that has articles on “how to have orgasm sucking italian horse”! LMAO

P.S. Just curious, how did you guys find out about us? *g* For the visitors who had discovered us by a search engine result, please tell us, what word/s did you search for exactly? :P


[Added, 17 December 06]
Look at this screenshot I took last night. See what I mean? And this isn’t even within two hours. “Hagrid dumbledore umbrella sex”? WTF?

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42 comment(s):

Blogger Angel Jamie said...

LOL i can't stop laughing!!! that's so funny! this site can probably pass for a porn site Harlot! LMAO

12/16/2006 01:06:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Hey AJ! How are you? :D

True story: One time Trollop's mom was soooooo mad at us! Why? Well, she searched for our blog and was so shocked when she ended up in a porn site!!! LOL Apparently there's this porn site named book worm bitches or something. LMAO (I adore Trollop's mom. :))

12/16/2006 01:21:00 PM  

Blogger Danielle De Barbarac said...

Naked pics of Nancy Grace? Who would like to see that??? And he/she specifically want with helmet hair? LMAO

How to have orgasm sucking italian horse? Very sick but too funny!!! LOL!

I can't remember how I discovered this blog. But the first time I came upon it, I laughed so hard I immediately bookmarked your page. :)

12/16/2006 01:40:00 PM  

Blogger Modano said...

what a great blog... :) i just came here by the "next blog" button.

12/16/2006 02:23:00 PM  

Blogger circuitmouse said...

Now, THAT was a wry, humourous and far funnier commentary than the expletives I hurled off not too long ago while searching on google for something simple and inane, and getting instead a similar selection of choices... bad enough that businesses large and small are all ring to make sure we see their ads (don't they know that some people are on deadline and need to go right to what they were searching for withOUT the commercials?), I understand that the "business of America is business," and all that... but sheesh!

I guess until a critical mass of internet users go marching up to the offices of the search engines with pitch forks and torches, we can only expect more of the same.

The thought of seeing Tom Cruise getting spanked by midgets might be interesting, though....

12/16/2006 02:50:00 PM  

Blogger Lorelei said...

LMAO! These are funny! But is it wrong I'm not surprised some of these searches end up on your blog? Not that that's a bad thing! I for one am very grateful of your very interesting and fun articles where I usually end up learning a thing or two from. ;)

I discovered this blog from a friend who had sent me your link. I'm very glad she did!

12/16/2006 04:04:00 PM  

Blogger Lorelei said...

Re: Tom Cruise getting spanked by midgets

I bet he'd like that! What was it that Harlot calls him? "Sociopath midget with god complex"... lol!

12/16/2006 04:06:00 PM  

Blogger Marg said...

I found you when Harlot joined a group I am in!

I don't really get any interesting searches for my blog. Maybe because I'm not interesting! LOL!

12/16/2006 04:12:00 PM  

Blogger Polly King said...

Nancy Grace is a hillbilly. LOL! I think my favourite is: is ok for my dog to lick my vulva? Why of course not, you freak! That's disgusting and you'll probably get infection or something freaky...

I found this site by accident. I was surfing one night, googled a book and I ended up reading this very entertaining blog for two hours. I visit each day since then. Lurv you Book Bitches!

12/16/2006 04:44:00 PM  

Blogger Polly King said...

I forgot to add sucking an Italian horse is more disgusting than letting your vulva be licked by your dog. ACKKKK

12/16/2006 04:46:00 PM  

Blogger Marg said...

They're both pretty bad! LOL!!

12/16/2006 05:37:00 PM  

Blogger Ladybug said...

Yes both bad! LOL!

It's amazing why people would actually search for these things. It really is true that cyber space is full of horny freaks. LMAO!

I found you when I followed a link from another blog and it directed me here!

12/16/2006 05:47:00 PM  

Blogger Aggie said...

I googled book review blogs & selected yours to look at and LMAO and stayed ...

12/16/2006 06:01:00 PM  

Blogger slskenyon said...

The "nutella" one really got me. Whoa.

12/16/2006 06:12:00 PM  

Blogger Nikky said...

wow, there are some real sickos out there... funny tho!

I think I found you by doing the "next blog" button a few hundred times...
So glad I did!!

12/16/2006 06:21:00 PM  

Anonymous Ollenska said...

OMG LOL! Who are these people?!!! I can understand hammering a cheater's cock but sucking an Italian horse? Ewwww...

I found you bitches by googling jane austen books. I laughed so hard reading the post entries. Each posts still make me laugh or bring me a smile that's why I'm still here.

Olly

12/16/2006 06:21:00 PM  

Anonymous Ollenska said...

Slskenyon, I'm pretty sure one way or another the BBs have suggested nutella on your man is the best dessert... lol! ;P

Any relation with Ms Sherrilyn Kenyon, author of dark-hunter books? :)

Olly

12/16/2006 06:24:00 PM  

Blogger Lollie Rose said...

How funny!!! Hehee...

I found this blog by searching Jill Barnett. It was that time you interviewed her. I laughed my ass off reading the rest of the blog I stayed. So glad I discovered you BBs.

P.S. Is there a picture of McSteamy's penis or nipples around here because if there is, where?? What, did I miss something? :P

12/16/2006 06:44:00 PM  

Blogger Danielle De Barbarac said...

"I'm pretty sure one way or another the BBs have suggested nutella on your man is the best dessert... lol! ;P"

I believe they do suggest that! LOL!!

12/16/2006 07:05:00 PM  

Anonymous Andy said...

Hahaha!!!! Found you courtesy of the next blog button. It was the time you posted why women should have vibrators. Fabulous bitches.

~Andy~

12/16/2006 07:42:00 PM  

Blogger Lily Moon said...

Little people wearing swim costumes? What's that mean? That's really sick!

I found you bitches searching romance books. And then there were the eye candy! I was hooked! :D

12/16/2006 07:53:00 PM  

Blogger Polly King said...

Marg, true. Now if you'll do both at the same time, that's definitely the sickest. Image a dog and a horse...what the hell! Oh yuckk! LOL!!!

12/16/2006 08:02:00 PM  

Blogger Lily Moon said...

OMG, Polly, (barf) that's really disgusting! lol

12/16/2006 08:22:00 PM  

Blogger Tine said...

I think it was from the I talk too much review site. Anyhoos, it stuck! :)

12/16/2006 10:51:00 PM  

Blogger Rachel said...

LOL! I'm with Lorelei. I can't say I'm surprised with these searches. I think it's good that some people are discovering you because they want to have more orgasm or have better sex. ;D

I found you by the next blog button. I LMAO and have always come back!

12/17/2006 02:30:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Tine,
What do you mean i talk too much review? LOL


Polly,
A dog licking you while you suck on a horse? Jeez, *gag* that's sick sick SICK!!!


Lollie,
No pics of McSteamy's penis. Damn... Eheh. :P

12/17/2006 03:11:00 AM  

Blogger Jolie said...

How to have orgasm sucking a horse? And here I thought sucking is enough...

Just kidding! LOL

Why would anyone want to see Hagrid and Dumbledore having sex? Euw! And what is umbrella sex?

I found you BBs through a friend. So glad she told me about you!

12/17/2006 04:14:00 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Book on how to please my man like fucking wow"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

What the fuck? Hahaha...Like fucking wow! Jesus!

Anyway, been a loyal Book Bitch for a year now. Found you from that Judith McNaught forum thing. Heeheehee... ;)

RR

12/17/2006 05:41:00 AM  

Blogger MisbehavinAngel said...

Jeez! These are great. Don't you feel even a little bit ashamed :)?

I just love that blog, found it at the SEP bb.

Love, Sanna

12/17/2006 03:02:00 PM  

Blogger Vanessa said...

How to have orgasm sucking Italian horse? Jesus, that's sick. lol I can't believe someone would want to see Nancy Grace naked!

Found you BBs by next blog button. So glad I did!

12/17/2006 03:11:00 PM  

Blogger Vanessa said...

Umbrella sex? That gotta hurt..!

12/17/2006 03:12:00 PM  

Blogger T-girl said...

OH- MY- GOD! VERY funny! I get a lot of Lezbian's and crossdressers on mine... evidently "T-girl" is a slang that I was not aware of. LOL I like the "fuck you and the horse you rode in on orgin!" I like to see how people are spending their time on the net- it is way to funny. I am going to have to go back and look at mine now, I haven't done that in a while.

12/18/2006 06:17:00 AM  

Blogger Sparkling Cipher said...

I found the site by the Next Blog button. Rarely do I ever come across the same site twice that way, but it brought me here three times in two weeks! And, gosh, who could resist sticking around after reading a little? And that was before I even realized that Harlot posts pics of hot men.

12/18/2006 10:06:00 AM  

Anonymous cfbookchick said...

I found you via a live feed on a friends Yahoo 360 page. I try to spread the wisodm of the BOok Bitches as much as I can and also have a rss feed.

12/18/2006 02:01:00 PM  

Blogger Isabella said...

Hagrid dumbledore umbrella sex? Euw!

I found you through a friend who emailed me your link. That's why I've been sending your link to my other friends!

12/18/2006 02:47:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I manage Google ads for clients, and I was testing various different phrases that include "books" and my ads weren't showing up, and I got frustrated, so I typed in the Google box: "show me my fucking book ads you bastards". And that was how I cam across your site.

12/18/2006 09:03:00 PM  

Blogger Sabby said...

LMAO!!!

I googled "ice cream books" or something about ice cream and books - and voila! I found the best book blog around. And there's an occasional treat of man candy too. So glad I found you bitches!

12/19/2006 08:08:00 AM  

Anonymous Gun_Wielding_Bitch said...

Hello all. It's been a LONG time! Well, speaking of internet usage, I got SMOKED at work over the internet. I was always under the impression (for 2 years now) that during down time at work we could surf the net. LONG story short, I got in big trouble at work after this bitch complained about seeing the word "bitches" on my computer. Yes, it was this site! LOL. So, anyway I had to meet with my boss, then with my boss's boss, an HR rep and my boss again (1 week later) then I had a meeting with the VP of my company the week after that!

Apparently the internet is not supposed to be for personal use, even though I have been for using it for 2 FUCKIN’ YEARS and EVERYONE in the entire company does too, including the SOB that was lecturing me!

Needless to say, I won't be on your site all day anymore :( Those BASTARDS!

12/26/2006 10:57:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...

*Gasp* Say it isn't so! Oh for fuck's sake, who are they kidding? EVERYONE uses the company's internet for "personal" use! And who is that fucker who complained? Stupid bitch :@ probably jealous of you..

GWB, please don't leave us. We'll miss you terribly... :(

12/26/2006 02:05:00 PM  

Anonymous Gun_Wielding_Bitch said...

I found you through Google after I typed in "find me romance recommandations, you BITCH!" because Google was giving me a hard time that day every time I tried to do a search. LOL. I've been around since!

Thanks for all the good recommendations I have received over my time here!

12/29/2006 07:13:00 PM  

Anonymous Gun_Wielding_Bitch said...

P.S.

I'm going no where! And the bitch who ratted me out will be sorry when we get back to work (We are off for 10 days for the holidays)

After I explained eveything to my MALE bosses, which means I stuck out my lower lip (ok, boobs too), they laughed it off so I didn't get in THAT much trouble after it was all said and done, butno more "personal" use of the comp.

P.S. I was one of the last to leave the office and I noticed that some how a beef sandwhich ended up in the bitches garbage under her desk...for 10 days... how did that happen?

12/29/2006 07:18:00 PM  

Blogger Tara said...

I found you guys when you were card carying members of the JMBB!!


lol...Memmories....

2/20/2008 09:50:00 PM