Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Delectable nubs of male nipples

Did you ever wonder what the purpose of male nipples is? Yes, I know, nipples serve as a proof that they’re mammals since the distinguishing features of mammals are suckling their offspring and having hair. (Since men cannot breastfeed—euw!—where do bald dudes classify? Reptiles? :/)

But if the male species don’t have a use for nipples, why do they have them then? Is this why, despite Barbie’s unending horror, they were banished from Ken’s chest? (Not that he has a penis either—trust me, I looked!) You know, there are some male horses that share fate with Ken. Stallions, despite being known as sexual beings, do not have nipples.** So, if stallions could be without them, why do men have to have it? Why all that male nipples?

In the world of romance, there’s no doubt of the power of the male nipples. Romance authors have great reverence when it comes to those two throbbing peaks LOL. Not only there are different synonyms associated with it, there are also unending list of adjectives for describing it, things that it can do, and, yep, things to do with it. Uh-hmm. *g* What? You don’t believe me?!? *gasp* Fine, let me show you.


When describing the male nipples, romance authors have a lot of words: coppery-tipped, delectable, erect, hard, protruding, pulsing, swollen, tightly beaded, etc. Some examples are: “delectable velvety nipples,” “tingling, quivering, tight nipples” or “erect, protruding, wet, throbbing dagger-point nipples.” My personal favorite is “sensitive, distended, pulsing, supremely ticklish and tingling, plump nipples.” OMG, that’s a lot of adjectives! LOL Actually, there are many more combinations; I could go on, really. :P


Referring to them as just “male nipples” seems so impersonal. I think they consider it more, er, romantic if you use “throbbing peaks” and “tight buds”? *confused* Anyway, other popular alternatives used by romance authors are: bare tips, heated buds, peaked center, pebbled crests, proud nubbins, quivering/rock-like points, sensitive peaks, shimmering buds, stiff pebbles, thrusting points, tiny rigid nubs, velvet peaks... I swear I’m not referring to a cock!

Things that male nipples can do

You know why the male nipples are special? Because they just don’t “ache,” they “ache with need.” *g* Others include:
  • apices to swell and harden
  • brushed across
  • erection
  • grew large or rigid
  • hardened in empathy
  • peaked
  • puckered
  • rigid with desire
  • rise
  • shivered erect
  • spring to attention
  • swelled
  • throbbed
  • tightening to pebble hardness
  • tingled

Things to do with male nipples

Heh. Now we’re talking. *g* Okay, I’m pretty sure the most common answer would be to “suckle” them. Or they are “sucked.” What’s the difference anyway? Is “sucking” more erotic or sexier than “suckling”? Hmm... I guess so since “suckling” makes you think of a nursing toddler? Oh good god!—I don’t want to think about that while I’m sucking someone!!! Er, *ahem* “licking” is also a popular thing to do to the male nipples. Here are some of the things romance authors make their heroines do to the men’s “aching, hardened nubbins”:
  • captured between her lips
  • caressed
  • flicked
  • gently sucked
  • kneading
  • lashed into hardness
  • licked
  • nibbled
  • pinched the hard little tips
  • probed
  • rasped hungrily
  • rolling his nipples gently
  • rubbed
  • sucked the tortured peak
  • taking it between her teeth
  • taste
  • touched
  • tugging gently
  • wetting his nipple
  • whisked it with her tongue

You know, *tapping foot* after all these euphemisms, I still don’t know the fucking purpose of the male nipples. Of course I know they are erogenous zones but that’s not a purpose. I’m starting to think male nipples only exist so men could continue fending off charges of reptilianism!

**I’ve only read about this fact. Hello??? There’s no way I’m checking out a stallion’s chest, it’ll fucking trample me to death! *shudder* Also have to point out I haven’t seen a bald stallion either. That’s probably why they avoid being called reptiles... :/
***Photos by: Felipe Lessa


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50 comment(s):

Blogger Shoshana said...

Well, this isn't falling eye candy like the snowflakes....it a storm of eye candy!

Male nipples...why they're for making your husband or significant others, or even short-term others heel.

You know..clamps or even lead them by the nipple or else!

Does that make sense? Pinch one and don't let go, and I guarantee you, you get whatever you want...just about anyway.

12/12/2006 12:59:00 PM  

Anonymous Ollenska said...

Men are reptiles? LMAO!

Now I'm wondering too what's the purpose of male nipples. LOL.

I didn't know stallions don't have nipples. What other mammals don't have them? OMG, I can't believe I'm pondering about animal nipples!!!!

Love the eye candy!


12/12/2006 01:30:00 PM  

Blogger Lorelei said...

Oh man, I love you bitches! Great post, excellent eye candy. Really, what more can I ask?

12/12/2006 02:05:00 PM  

Anonymous Petra said...

Fucking blogger!!!!!!

12/12/2006 02:25:00 PM  

Anonymous Petra said...

Good lord, why is it so hard to comment?!!! I have to use "Other" just so I could post! Fucking blogger!

Just want to say love the nipple euphemisms and the yummy eye candy! OMG, drool...

12/12/2006 02:27:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This reminds me of a saying my gramma uses all the time to label lazy or stupid people:

Useless as tits on a boar hog.

LOL. I love it.

P.S. I had to use anonymous as well! WTF is the problem. Has been like this since 8 this morning and it's 2 p.m. now.


12/12/2006 03:10:00 PM  

Anonymous Marek said...

Some men speak well of their nipples and all of us are very happy we have them. We would love to retain them even if they don't have any purpose. Ask any boar hog and he'll tell you the same. :) I'm glad you're back Harlot.


12/12/2006 03:20:00 PM  

Anonymous Rachel said...

Very h-o-t!!!

12/12/2006 04:23:00 PM  

Anonymous Hotmama said...

Why *do* men have nipples?
Quite a question and I would honestly like to have a anatomical/scientific answer for! Too lazy to google, lol.

Nice eye'candy
What is up with this *beard stubble* that is so in fashion?? We all know how much that stuff HURTS! And frankly, I had enough already LMAO :P (I happen to think that McDreamy looks ridiculous walking around the hospital with it all the time! sorry, off topic :D )

12/12/2006 08:49:00 PM  

Blogger KimmyGoat said...

There's a book called "Why Do Men Have Nipples?" which was prominently displayed at my local B&N. Turns out it has something to do with the X chromosome. I guess we all start growing nipples before the "distinguishing" parts show up. Question for you all - what do the man nipples grow on? Man boobs?

12/12/2006 09:22:00 PM  

Anonymous hotmama said...

Pecs, Kimmygoat.

12/12/2006 09:39:00 PM  

Anonymous Danielle said...

Kimmygoat, I think I've seen that book too. I like the hints of men being reptiles, very funny. LOL.

HOT HOT HOT EYE CANDY!!! Thanks Harlot!

12/12/2006 11:21:00 PM  

Anonymous Danielle de Barbarac said...

Hotmama, I know stubbles aren't nice to the skin, but I like stubbly men. I think they look very hot. LOL!

12/12/2006 11:24:00 PM  

Anonymous Danielle de Barbarac said...

What's up with blogger? I can't sign in with my account.

12/12/2006 11:26:00 PM  

Blogger Vanessa said...

OMG, I opened the site and what's the first thing I saw? This beautiful guy looking at me like I'm holding his heart. Oh my!

12/12/2006 11:58:00 PM  

Blogger Izzie said...

I've read about this. According to Charles Darwin, the male nipples are not worthless. They're just not fully developed that's why they're not producing milk. LOL

Finally some eye candy! Ohhh, love him! :D

12/13/2006 12:13:00 AM  

Blogger Isabella said...

Hey, where's my avatar?

12/13/2006 12:15:00 AM  

Blogger Isabella said...

Oh there it is. Even my name has changed. What the hell? Oh well, Vanessa, I love that first pic too! Sigh.

12/13/2006 12:17:00 AM  

Anonymous Danielle de Barbarac said...

I see everyone could comment normally using their accounts. How come I'm the only one who couldn't log in? Pout.

12/13/2006 12:19:00 AM  

Blogger Isabella said...

Danielle, I'm not sure but I think it has something to do with using beta.

Btw, I like the look of stubbly men too. LOL

12/13/2006 12:22:00 AM  

Anonymous Polly King said...

What an early Christmas gift! Clarification of the male nipples' purpose and a very hot guy to boot. LOL!

Hotmama, I think McDreamy looks hot with stubbles. ;P I like to look at stubbly men but please don't come near me. They'll give me rashes!

12/13/2006 12:50:00 AM  

Anonymous hotmama said...

Ok, I do like the stubbly beard too, it's uber masculine. But it's been waaaay overdone IMO. McDreamy is NEVER clean shaven is he? One of the reasons it bothers me is because it has become so contrived, a fashion rather than something that might occur naturally, like when my sexy boytoy has been rolling me in the hay all day....and all night :P And finally swaggers off to the kitchen to whip up a fab breakfast ;)

12/13/2006 01:17:00 AM  

Anonymous Jolie said...

Love the eye candy!

Harlot, charges of men being reptiles are not so far from the truth. I've met a lot of cold-blooded bastards to support this theory!!!

12/13/2006 01:37:00 AM  

Anonymous Jolie said...

Hotmama, I agree about stubbles being an accessory rather than a natural thing. Still, I love stubbly men. LOL ;P

12/13/2006 01:38:00 AM  

Blogger Vanessa said...

I like McDreamy's beard. I think he looks sexier with it. ;P What I don't like is McSteamy's beard! Seriously, he needs to shave!!!

12/13/2006 01:46:00 AM  

Blogger Lollie Rose said...

"I've read about this. According to Charles Darwin, the male nipples are not worthless. They're just not fully developed that's why they're not producing milk. LOL"

They say male nipples would be fully functional given the right hormones. What does that mean? If men would subject themselves to hormone therapy they would be able to properly use their nipples??

Thanks for the eye candy Harlot! Love it!

12/13/2006 01:59:00 AM  

Blogger Lollie Rose said...

Vanessa, I'm with you about shaving McSteamy. Seriously. I would love to do it myself. Heh.

12/13/2006 02:01:00 AM  

Blogger lisa said...

nipples or no nipples, this boy is doing fine.

12/13/2006 02:09:00 AM  

Blogger Vanessa said...

Lollie, hands off! I'm shaving McSteamy whether it be his face or other wise!!!


12/13/2006 02:09:00 AM  

Anonymous Jordis said...

This post reminds me of Chandler from friends. He used to have an extra nipple. LMAO. I've never seen a person with an extra nipple really, but that would be freaky I think ...

Love the eye candy!!!

12/13/2006 02:11:00 AM  

Blogger are you asking me to dance? said...

I can verify that stallions (or geldings, for that matter) don't have nipples, or at least none that I've ever come across. We joke sometimes that some horses have "boobs", but if male horses were to have nipples, I'd think they'd be closer to the hind legs, where the teats are on mares, or on the belly like female dogs (I'm pretty sure male dogs don't have nipples, either).

I did have a horse almost go completely bald once, but that was because he picked up some sort of skin condition or virus that luckily cleared up after a few weeks, and all his hair grew back after a few more weeks.

As for humans, I think we all start out as female - it's the "default" until the Y-chromosome kicks in, if I remember correctly from Bio class.

Lovely eye-candy, and I'm glad to see you're back!

12/13/2006 04:24:00 AM  

Anonymous Jolie said...

A friend said that the reason why stallions don't have nipples is because there's no more room for them since the mare's nipples are located toward the tail end of the body. I think Dance could verify this. I'm jealous, I would love to have horses. :)

12/13/2006 11:25:00 AM  

Anonymous Polly King said...

Re: Harlot, charges of men being reptiles are not so far from the truth. I've met a lot of cold-blooded bastards to support this theory!!!

Jolie, very true!

12/13/2006 11:47:00 AM  

Blogger C Bradshaw said...

Harlot, Barbie doesn't have nipples either. LOL

Lurv the eye candy. He's hot!

12/13/2006 12:02:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

I like stubbly men. Oh god, Colin Farrell anyone? True, i easily get beard burns :/ but is it weird that there are times i like those? LOL They can be very irritating though...

Didn't know male dogs don't have nipples too... LOL Oh, btw, i just got Stephanie Mayer's TWILIGHT. :D I let my sister read it first and she absolutely LOVED it she already ordered the second book. Thanks for the recommendation!

Honestly haven't seen a person with more than two nipples. That would freak me out! LOL

12/13/2006 01:17:00 PM  

Anonymous Danielle de Barbarac said...

If you have an extra nipple and you're lactating, would that extra nipple produce milk too? OMG, that's just weird!

12/13/2006 02:20:00 PM  

Blogger Isabella said...

Danielle, that's just not weird, that's gross!!!

12/13/2006 02:44:00 PM  

Anonymous Andy said...

Rawrr... Who is this guy? He's gorgeous!!!

12/13/2006 04:52:00 PM  

Blogger are you asking me to dance? said...

Jolie - I don't know why male horses don't have nipples, except that they don't need them and I'm really not sure where they'd go. I'd google for the information, but I'm afraid of what the search results will yield.

Harlot - I'm glad your sister enjoyed Twilight. It's one of those books where I don't actually like or have a few issues with some of the parts of the story (especially if I think about them a lot), but as a whole, it seems to work out quite well - enough that I recommend it everyone (LOL) and I'm looking forward to book 3, which is not out for another 10-11 months. (Have you read Peeps by Scott Westerfeld? It's another YA vampire book, though very different from Twilight.)

I've never seen anyone with an extra (or missing) nipple. I think the asymmetry would freak me out too.

12/13/2006 06:44:00 PM  

Blogger Milan Loka said...

Was Amazing.

12/13/2006 10:25:00 PM  

Blogger Jolie said...

Milan Loka, lub your name. ;P

Dance, my friend said the same thing! Well actually he said that if stallions have nipples they would be very near his penis. That would look weird and turn off the mares now, wouldn't it? LOL

I hope you don't mind me asking, how many horses do you have? Do you race them? What do you do with them exactly? Sorry, I'm nosy. LOL :)

12/14/2006 12:14:00 AM  

Blogger Aggie said...

Men are slimy reptiles? Yes, well, I suspected it all along ... lol
I'm getting steamed up over that nice bit of eye candy - I like the look of that snake ...

12/14/2006 03:41:00 AM  

Blogger are you asking me to dance? said...

Jolie, I have two horses, both geldings. I used to show a lot in the hunter/jumpers (like the show jumping in the olympics, only a lot smaller. The hunters are based more on performance or style than faults; it's more subjective, like figure skating (complete with judging controversies), but not as popular (or an olympic sport)), but with university and all, I've scaled back quite a bit. I could talk about horses all day :-).

So, I looked up mammary glands and horses, and found out that rats and mice don't have nipples either (Wikipedia didn't say anything about dogs...). Apparently they simply (or not so simply) don't form teats. Not sure of the science behind it, though, or what mares would think about it. LOL.

12/14/2006 03:46:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Men are slimy reptiles. LOL You know, everytime i consider posting eye candy i remember you. Weird.. :P

(Really, you have a verra long name! :P) My sister just got NEW MOON! :D Hardback this time as it's not yet available through other format.

I'm going to start TWILIGHT later. Have to admit, despite your rec, not sure if i should read it LOL. I mean i stopped reading YA books a loooong time ago already. However, i found out at the bookstore i frequent that SM's books are soooo in demand you have to reserve them for months to get a copy(???). *gasp* I thought that could only mean the book is fab. Heh. Thanks again for the rec. Wouldn't even know of the book if you didn't mention it. :)

P.S. Thanks for the nipples info. LOL Hmm, should also mention i hate rats and i'm afraid of horses. I'm a wimp really. :/

12/14/2006 04:06:00 AM  

Blogger are you asking me to dance? said...

Harlot, I love YA books, of all kinds, but Twilight apparently wasn't written for YAs specifically (it was one of those "accidental" books that wasn't supposed to get published at all; Stephenie Meyer was writing it for her sister, IIRC), and there seem to be a number of adult fans (like the Harry Potter fandom), from what I gather from the Twilight Lexicon site; I think a number of them are also Potter fans, so there might be some similarities between the series - I wouldn't know, not having read HP.

I'm not very fond of rats either. But some of them, if locked up or not running around loose in the house, are kind of cute.

PS. Sorry about the name. I was very new to this whole blogging thing when I came up with it. And, now, I'm not sure how to change it.

12/14/2006 03:30:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...


Good god, first Polly, then GWB, now you??? What is going on?!? :/

Please read HP. I swear, the books are verra, verra excellent. They're uber fantabulous really! They are soooo good, i've read them and listened to the audio format like a gazillion times. LOL. (Not kidding about always listening to HP audios. It's so good, i listen to them when i'm getting ready for a meeting, getting dress or something. Lub Jim Dale!)

I've mentioned it already that if there's only one book series i think everyone should read, it's the HP books. Dance, you have to read HP!!! Before the 5th movie! :P

P.S. I don't think i've encountered a "cute" rat. *shudder* Even Mickey Mouse looks weird. LOL

12/15/2006 02:51:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Oh yeah, forgot. About your name, i think it's great really. I lub to dance. Heh. It's long though and i'm not complaining! Just lazy to type you see, :/ and don't know if you mind me calling you just "Dance".

Btw, in case you want to change your name, it's easy. Sign in on your Blogger/Beta account. On the Dashboard, click "Edit Profile". Under "Identity" you'll see "Display Name". Just enter whatever you want. :D You can also add your photos through there. Hope that helps!

12/15/2006 02:56:00 AM  

Blogger are you asking me to dance? said...

Oh, believe me, I've tried getting into HP. By all accounts they should be books I like, but I can never seem to get past the first few chapters (or remember what happened).

I'll put them down to go eat or study or something and not remember to pick them up again, which is most unusual for me. And I say "them" because I've started all 5 or 6 books, thinking that maybe starting in the middle of a series (as I am wont to do) would jump start it for me. Hasn't kicked in yet.

I would like to read them, if only to know what all the fuss is about. Might have to give the audio books a try. I've seen I think the first two or three movies, but I've been told they don't do the books justice (my brothers are avid fans).

PS. Thanks for the info about the blogger and name changing. And I have no problems with people shortening it :-) .

12/15/2006 03:12:00 AM  

Blogger Jolie said...

Dance, wow, I'm impressed. :) I don't think there's a possibility of me having horses one day, sigh... unless of course I snare a multi-millionaire who would say yes to my every whim and fancy. :P

I hate rats!!!

12/15/2006 09:32:00 AM  

Blogger Lorelei said...

Dance, the movies are a treat for HP fans but they are nothing compared to the books!

If you're going to read Harry, I think it's better to read them in order. After each book, it gets better. :)

12/15/2006 11:41:00 AM