Saturday, December 9, 2006

It's the most wonderful time of the year

I was supposed to post this the day after my “You Complete Me” article, but since y’all know for the past two weeks we had temporarily lost access of our blog, I didn’t get the fucking chance!!! *hurensohn!* Anyway, *breathe* I thought this little morsel is too good just to be discarded so I’m still putting it up. *hmph* What is it they say, anyway? Better late than pregnant. Er, wait—I think that’s a wrong saying... :/

Where was I? Oh. For those of you who don’t know, LA’s Beverly Center has a grand, uber fun fun fun tradition called Hunky Santa. Yep, that’s right. Instead of the usual red-faced fat old perv, a yummilicious Kringle invites everyone (male, female, dog of any age) to sit on his oh so mighty lap and tell him what they want for Christmas, whether it’s nice or *ahem* naughty. Uh-hmm... *g*

This year, there were nine Hunky Santa candidates. I wanted to ask you guys who you think should win and would love to sit onto, heh. :P But since this is late and they had already announced the winner, I’m just going to post the candidates’ photos and bios, and then tell me, which ones do you think are totally gay? LOL

Hunky Mistletoe
Hello, I’m Hunky Mistletoe and when my dad—old Saint Nick—isn’t looking, I like to sneak a little kiss under the... well, you know what. I’m coming to town so get that mistletoe ready and break out the peppermint candy. I spend the year preparing for the big night by shooting hoops, climbing in and out of chimneys and carrying that big sack full of presents. Vote for me and I’ll bring along my mistletoe.

Hunky Snowman
Hello, I’m Hunky Snowman and I won’t melt if you bring me indoors. Nothing warms my heart more than a sweet smile and a hot toddy. When I’m not shining my sleigh and trying out fashionable new Santa suits, I like to get together with my buddies for some cold weather fun like snowboarding and sledding. Vote for me and I promise to keep you cool this holiday season!

Hunky Snowflake
Hey there, I’m Hunky Snowflake and I’m here to tell you there’s nothing flakey about me. I’m a year-round athlete and the only snowflake that doesn’t melt in the California sun. From the mountains to the beach, I keep in shape by scaling mountains and skiing in the winter and hitting the waves in the summer. I love hanging out at the North Pole during the off season to catch some of that 24-hours sun. Vote for me and I’ll make your holiday unique and cool.

Hunky Kringle
Hi, I’m Hunky Kringle and unlike my dad, I’m a gym rat and fitness fan. I’ve been spending my vacation building my muscles by lifting full sacks of next-year’s presents to lend dad a helping hand. Thanks to my routine of lifting heavy bags of goodies, I’m ready to ring in the holiday season. Vote for me and I might just bring you an extra bag of presents!

Hunky Elf
Hello, I’m Hunky Elf and I’m the one to call when you need help with “some assembly required” toys this season. Before being called back to the North Pole to help his dad, I trained in toy and bicycle assembly. When I’m not busy assembling toys and filling Santa’s bags with toys, I like to get party with the other elves. Vote for me and I promise to bring some elf cheer to your holidays and get your gifts set up.

Hunky Rudolf
Hi! I’m Hunky Rudolph and my keen eye and great sense of direction guides Santa’s sleigh every year. The kind of reindeer games that I like to play are ones we can all join in... basketball, baseball, horseback riding. Try and keep up with me if you can... because I always like to be out in front. Vote for me and you’ll never be lost again!

Hunky Sugarplum
Hello, I’m Hunky Sugarplum and I’m one sugarplum you won’t mind having dance around in your head. I like to keep things sweet and always have a little treat for the good boys and girls. While I do share sweet treats with my list, I keep fit by building toys and delivering presents. Vote for me and I’ll share some sugar treats with you this holiday season.

Hunky Candy Cane
Hello, I’m Hunky Candy Cane and I’m just as sweet as my name implies. When I’m not busy working out and getting ready for the big night, I like to make up my favorite holiday treat... candy cane martinis. Shaken, not stirred! Vote for me and you’ll find these special treats next to your stocking after a visit from Hunky Candy Cane.

Hunky Dasher
Hello, I’m Hunky Dasher and when I’m not running and skiing, I like to slow down and enjoy the holidays. The North Pole is a great place for speed skiing but I always make time to help old St. Nick with keeping track of the good boys and girls and checking the lists to make sure everyone gets what they want. I’m super fast at getting my holiday chores done so I can have a good time with the big girls and boys at Beverly Center.

Oh, my. *groan* I think of all them would rather play with each other’s Christmas poles than nibble on my candy cane... :/ Well, in any case, I’m adding the pics of last year’s candidates:

Snowman, Candy Cane

Sugarplum, Mistletoe, Snowflake

Kringle, Elf, Rudolf

What do you guys think? Gayer this year? LOL Actually, I prefer last year’s bunch; I think they’re more kringlelicious than what Beverly Center had baked this time.

You know what, what the hell—I don’t care. I’m taking the straightest, er, hottest looking crumpet of the group and if he could heat up the holiday season for me, then by all means—oh my yummy Hunky Santa, purrty please with Nutella on top, come and slide into my chimney, baby. LOL

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29 comment(s):

Blogger Jordis said...

Hunky Sugarplum and Kringle are gay gay gay!!! LOL

I didn't know about this tradition. How come we are stuck with a fat old Santa when LA is getting these hotties? Some of them might be gay but they are still hot!

I agree that last year's candidates are hotter. I pick last year's Sugarplum as the hottest. I won't mind sitting on his lap. LOL :P

OMG I am so glad you bitches are back!!!

12/09/2006 08:52:00 AM  

Blogger Lorelei said...

"Slide into my chimney." Harlot! lol

Who won? I think Snowman, Kringle and Sugarplum are all gay. I like Candy Cane, I think he's the hottest.

Last year's Santas got better costumes. I like Sugarplum and Snowflake. What I want to know is where did they get their costumes??

12/09/2006 10:26:00 AM  

Blogger HOTMAMA said...

Hee he, there's a definite gay thang going on this year, LOL. Hunky Candy Cane and Hunky Dasher might not be.

Last year's were much more hunky. Does Hunky Candy Cane from last year have weird looking biceps? He must be doing his "curls" wrong LMAO!

12/09/2006 11:51:00 AM  

Blogger Vanessa said...

Heh. This year is definitely gayer. The only I like in there is Hunky Candy Cane, the rest all look gay!

I like Snowman and Sugarplum of last year. What is up with Mistletoe, he looks totally lost in that pic... So who were crowned Hunky Santa this year and last year?

12/09/2006 12:36:00 PM  

Blogger Vanessa said...

Hotmama, I agree about last year Candy Cane's biceps - totally weird! lol!

OMG, I am so glad you BBs are back. :)

12/09/2006 12:37:00 PM  

Blogger Dakota Cassidy said...

Sigh--maybe I'm getting old but none of these guys even make my toes twinge...

It's because I'm old, isn't it? LOLLOL


12/09/2006 12:47:00 PM  

Blogger Polly King said...

No Dakota, it's because they're all gay! LMAO

These Santas don't do it for me but I like their bios. If I have to choose, I pick Hunky Elf's lap.

Last year's Santas are better looking. I like that Sugarplum candy. Yum. I hope he'd won last year. That Snowman isn't bad either.

12/09/2006 01:03:00 PM  

Blogger Jolie said...

Sugarplum is so gay! Dasher too and Kringle! How do these guys get entered in the search anyway? LOL

Last year's Sugarplum is cute, Candy Cane is weird, Elf and Kringle are boyfriends. LOL

12/09/2006 01:15:00 PM  

Blogger Jolie said...

Re: No Dakota, it's because they're all gay! LMAO

So true! LOL!

I think Hunky Dasher won this year (he is so gay)! His pic is the one posted on the Hunky Santa's site.

12/09/2006 01:17:00 PM  

Blogger Polly King said...

How could that Dasher win over Hunky Elf? Dasher looks like a sidekick in a porn movie.

12/09/2006 01:24:00 PM  

Blogger Dakota Cassidy said...

a sidekick in a pron movie. ROFLMAO

DC :)

12/09/2006 01:31:00 PM  

Blogger Jolie said...

Polly, LOL! But Dasher did. Look here, that's him on the photos. :P

12/09/2006 01:48:00 PM  

Blogger Polly King said...

All he needs is a mustache and he's all set. LOL

12/09/2006 02:01:00 PM  

Anonymous karamia said...

So, these guys are almost hot, except that they aren't. I keep looking them over thinking that I missed the hot one, but no. They are totally gay. And I am LMAS, most could be sidekicks in a porn!!

"slide into my chimney"? I love it..

12/09/2006 05:48:00 PM  

Blogger Aggie said...

The only remotely normal looking one is Hunky Candy Cane ... it must be those terrible Elf Genes affecting the rest.
Hunky can fiddle around with my stockings as much as he likes ... wait, no, as much as I like ... lol

Well, it's eye candy ... but not as we know it ...

12/09/2006 06:35:00 PM  

Blogger Vixen said...

Last year's were definitely better. But what the hell, I'm not going to turn away some eye candy.

12/09/2006 08:31:00 PM  

Blogger Danielle De Barbarac said...

I agree, last year's were better. I'd sit on this year's Candy Cane's lap though, LOL.

I definitely need new glasses. I thought last year's elf was Mario Lopez! LOL

12/09/2006 10:19:00 PM  

Blogger Ladybug said...

Danielle, gasp. You do need new glasses! LOL! That can't be darling Mario!

I choose Hunky Candy Cane and Hunky Elf. The rest look very gay, especially Dasher!

Santas of last year have less gay thing going on. LOL. I like their costumes. I think Snowman has Tom Cruise's smile, but I pick Sugarplum. Cute!

12/09/2006 10:43:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Sidekicks in a porn LOL! I think Dasher looks like Yzma's muscleman Kronk in Disney's Emperor's New Groove.. :/

Last year's winner is Sugarplum. I think all their costumes look fab! Last year:

Beverly Center has partnered with the Film & TV Costume Design Program at The Fashion Institute of Design & Merchandising/FIDM, a private specialized 2-year accredited co-ed college that offers Associated of Arts Degree Programs that lead to careers in the Retail, Fashion, Textile, Graphics, Interior Design, Digital Media, and Entertainment Industries.


12/09/2006 11:21:00 PM  

Blogger C Bradshaw said...

Damn... I forgot they did that!!! This is fun. I would've voted for Hunky Candy Cane. Dasher does look like Kronk! LOL

Last year's Snowman is a cutie. I pick him above the rest. If I've been in LA at the time, I would have been at Beverly Center every night to sit on his lap to whisper what I want into his ear. LOL

12/09/2006 11:38:00 PM  

Blogger Rachel said...

OMG! Hunky Snowflake looks exactly like my boss! LMAO

Except for Candy Cane, most of these guys send the gay alert. Last year's candidates are better. "Slide into my chimney, baby". LOL!

12/10/2006 12:30:00 AM  

Anonymous Rez said...

Hahahaha..I remember the hunky santa! Such a fun thing that the Beverly Center does...

12/10/2006 12:34:00 AM  

Blogger Shoshana said...

Dakota...I'm with you! it because I'm old or just sleep-deprived?

Still...Dasher might be gay, but at least he's nice to look out.

Sorry knickers are dry.

12/10/2006 12:44:00 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Harlot, any pictures of you sitting on hunky santa's lap? ^.^

12/10/2006 02:11:00 AM  

Blogger Lily Moon said...

Anon, LOL!

I pick Hunky Candy Cane. As for last year's candidates, Sugarplum honey!

12/10/2006 02:21:00 AM  

Blogger Petra said...

What a fun tradition! I think these guys are too gay looking LOL! Anyway, my choice is Hunky Candy Cane. :P

Dasher won? I can't believe anyone would vote for him. He looks weird...

12/10/2006 09:38:00 AM  

Anonymous Ollenska said...

Oh boy, I may have to take my list to Santa this year after all... ;P


12/10/2006 12:20:00 PM  

Blogger Lollie Rose said...

My goodness, these Santas sure look better than the fat ones. Well two little girls give me two very good excuses to go check hunky Santa out. Hehehe... ;P

12/10/2006 03:48:00 PM  

Anonymous Gun_Wielding_Bitch said...

I wouldn't be disappointed if theses were under my tree... or if I was under them ;)

Ut-Oh, Sorry Santa, I'm honestly trying to not to be naughty!

12/12/2006 03:17:00 PM