I’ve been soooooooooooooooo busy with wedding related stuff. We have over 300 guests coming to the wedding, including a bunch of international ones; things are crazy.
On book 5 of HP reread. Loving them all over again. *g*
Photo of my beautiful daughter with her baby cousin on Xmas morning. She’s obsessed with that damn dog!
Labels: holidaze, trollop and harlot’s stuff, under hunky mistletoe
I’m horribly lazy and enjoying my
ebookwise way too much to write a proper post so I’ve decided to copy/paste what I’ve been up to from some comments I’ve posted on FABB in the last few days.
On Xmas Eve dinner:
I cooked for around 40 people; it was crazy!
Cooking hits and misses:
My big miss was a spinach pesto lasagna I got from
Rachel Ray site. *yuck* It tasted WAY too much like spinach and my wonderful pomodoro and roasted red pepper sauce couldn’t compete with the very strong “spinachy” taste. Also, for some reason, my hummus tasted too garlicky. I enjoyed it, but others complained.
Hits: Potatoes au gratin (the YUMMIEST thing I’ve ever cooked) and tabule salad (Arabic salad).
Everything else turned out pretty good and everyone was happy (I think LOL).
On Xmas gifts:- Ebookwise (AWESOME!) plus a $500.00 gift certificate for the ebookwise store (they have a 25% off till Dec. 31st, btw).
- A signed copy of Rachel’s Holiday hardback (one of my favorite books ever) and Addict by CD which I luuurve (this is the third time I’ve gotten this perfume for Xmas).
- Liposuction in Feb. from my parents (this is a dream come true for me *sniff*) and LASIK surgery. (I’ve been having a lot of problems with my contacts lately, to the point that I can’t stand them for more than an hour; have actually stopped wearing them altogether.)
- Harlot sent me a package full of her favorite books which I’ve been reading for days already (ok, so I cheated and didn’t wait till Xmas!). I am LOVING Slammerkin.
On what I’ve been reading:
I really enjoyed An Affair Before Christmas by Eloisa James. I’ll get Desperate Duchesses, the first in the series, now (don’t have a heart attack, series order followers LOL).
EJ combines a lot of the things I love about literature in this book. I found myself thinking I was reading historical fiction or a Shakespearean satire at times, and then, of course, the last part of the book filled with sex and tons of romance. *g* All things I love and can never get enough of. Get this book; I promise, you won’t be disappointed.
I’m starting Karen Marie Moning’s “Highlander” series today. I’ve heard nothing but rave reviews about it; I’m really looking forward to it.
What about you guys, what have you been up to? Remember, anything goes in this thread. *g*Labels: holidaze, trollop and harlot’s stuff, under hunky mistletoe
Starring: Trollop, Trollop’s BF, me, my BF, and our pal, Leo. *g*
Thanks to:
JibJab and their fun fun fun
Holiday eCards.
(If you can’t view our fantabulous card,
click here.)
Have a bitchin’ Christmas, y’all!
Labels: holidaze, trollop and harlot’s stuff, under hunky mistletoe, youtubery
I woke up today and realized it’s December 21st. How the hell did that sneak up on me like that? *gasp* I’m not even half done with my shopping—most of it is online—how will it ever get here on time? *sob*
Another thing that’s worrying me? The Christmas dinner menu.
All three of my siblings are getting married this coming year: my younger brother and sister in January, and my oldest brother in August. We’re having Christmas dinner with all these families and it’s starting to get crazy. They all have different traditions and foods they “just have to eat.” It’s like that Friends’ episode where everyone wanted the different mashed potatoes for Thanksgiving. *sigh*
I fear we’ll have too much food and too many random dishes that don’t go with each other. I keep making organized menus, adding stuff from everyone’s list, and they just change it back to their own traditional menu and erasing the others families’ dishes. It’s funny because they’re all like: “That’s ridiculous; who eats [insert stupid food here] for Christmas dinner?”
I already see myself cooking four completely different Christmas dinners. My mom said we’ll make whatever they all want—which is just fine for her to say because she can’t even boil water, let alone cook some of these time consuming and complicated dishes. *grrrrr*
Labels: holidaze, trollop and harlot’s stuff, under hunky mistletoe
Hola Santa,
I have been a good girl. Well... reasonably good. :/ I can’t be like Trollop who all of a sudden appointed herself as
Brit Brit’s champion. I don’t know what kind of humongous sin she had to atone for or what black magic had been performed on her person but
I’d rather be bad baaaaad baddy bad bad than be sucked in on that voodoo. My bitchy soul will shrivel and die, I tell you!
Now, Santa, this has been a verra wacky year for me so I’m thinking it’s more than fair I get what I want this Christmas. For a while I considered pushing you to finally make Prince William into HRH, Harlot’s Royal Honeybunch. But, I now realized, I could never really be Mrs. Prince William because... *long suffering sigh*
my Raoul WILL die (oh, he needs and loves me so!). So, um, for uber true love... goodbye oh-so-shiny castles... *sniffles*
You see what I’m willing to sacrifice for love?!? And I’m willing to sacrifice more if you’ll give me what I’m asking for! That’s right, Santa. I’m willing to sacrifice my wants and needs—a Bugatti Veyron 16.4, one of my love slaves named Eduardo Corrochio, shopping spree in Paris, my very own pritti yacht (you know how much I love shopping and boats *sob*)—all that for the goodness of gazillions and gazillions of people in the world!
I only want one itty, bitty, tiny simple thing: I WANT YOU TO MAKE THAT HOPPING WARTY POT TO FOLLOW J.K. ROWLING AROUND AND MAKE HER LIFE FULL OF DRAGON BOOGIES.
Now, hear me out, Santa. I don’t want the hopping pot to trample that blast-ended witch. Just torture her some, pinch her a bit (if the pot’s toes can do it), clang-clang-clang her from here to kingdom come till her ears are bleeding and she finally sees her big-big-BIG folly and make The Tales of Beedle the Bard AVAILABLE FOR EVERYONE and not just for those rich sons of banshees who have £1.95m (US$3.98m). For charity, my hopping foot! She just likes to see me suffer!
Santa, you might think I always wish JKR harm but, truly, it’s only when she’s not playing fair. I swear on the statue of Babbitty Rabbitty, that witch and those Amazonians are in cahoots together. You’d think a book I covet but can never evah evah have is enough torture already but nooooo... They have to rub it in my face by posting tons of TOBTB pics on their site *GRRR* including reviews of each of its fairy freakin’ tales! For Voldemort’s nipples, I refuse to be beaten by such nasty, cruel maniacs!
Rudolph knows I tried to do this in a peaceful manner—GOOD Harlot that I am—but it didn’t work. I’ve written JKR several times but I dunno if she’s gotten my letters because those smart-asses at the PO claim “Sadistic Evil Witch” is not a real address. Honestly, it would have been nice had they mentioned that before I spent $199.98 on postage. :@
What I’m trying to say is, this is really important, Santa. Think of all the kiddies and HP fans who are counting on me. Oh, I get warm and hopeful (and what else are the holidays supposed to be about if not hope?) with the thought of the hopping pot pestering JKR and she bawls like a baby—goody!—and it drives her crazy *MWA HA HA HA* till she gives in. Imagine, me and my own copy of TOBTB hopping off into the sunset happily ever after together forever... *far away look, dreamy sigh*
I’LL. BE. WAITING.
Sincerely naughty,
Harlot
Related: Labels: bitchy mcrant, fucking around, harry potter nutter, holidaze, under hunky mistletoe
Tired of listening to “
Deck My Balls” and “
O Come All Ye Perverts”? Suffer no more! Here’s an ultra catchy Christmas carol by The Wet Spots. C’mon now, let’s all sing together! “Just fist me, this Christmas...” :D
Labels: holidaze, under hunky mistletoe, youtubery
Is this how parents are educating their kids now a days? Scary!
GIANTmicrobes. We make stuffed animals that look like tiny microbes—only a million times actual size! Now available: The Common Cold, The Flu, Sore Throat, Stomach Ache, Cough, Ear Ache, Bad Breath, Kissing Disease, Athlete’s Foot, Ulcer, Martian Life, Beer & Bread, Black Death, Ebola, Flesh Eating, Sleeping Sickness, Dust Mite, Bed Bug, and Bookworm (and in our Professional line: H.I.V. and Hepatitis).
Each 5-to-7 inch doll is accompanied by an image of the real microbe it represents, as well as information about the microbe.
They make great learning tools for parents and educators, as well as amusing gifts for anyone with a sense of humor!
I mean, sure, this is what I’m getting all my friends for Xmas (Harlot is particularly fond of the
Mad Cow one, seeing as she
is one and all) but they are all over 18. And, in all fairness, I’m not giving them anything they’ve never had before LOL.
Labels: kinky lifestyle, under hunky mistletoe
If you think Christmas season comes too early—TOUGH. Dude, for Rudolph’s sake, ’tis a season to be jolly! Fa-la-la-la-la. Stop complaining and just suck up to Santa and he might finally give you bigger boobies.
Look at me and Trollop; just because we’re naughty bitches doesn’t mean we’re not doing our part this Christmas season. Nope, not lying. Or my elf’s name isn’t Cutie Chilly-Helper and Trollop’s not Tumbleflump Bunny-Tummy.
Oh, I wish I were lying...
Watch our little video here and you’ll see.
Really, good luck finding anything bitchingly uber cuter than us. *g*
To get your elf name,
click here. To elfify yourself or your kids or your BOB,
click here. Do share and post your links here so we can all see. Have fun! :D
Labels: fun and games, holidaze, trollop and harlot’s stuff, under hunky mistletoe
I just got home from a wake. I should be grieving for a life lost, but whilst I was sitting there for two hours waiting for my mom to finish catching up with yet another unknown aunt, I couldn’t help but think of some things:
- How much I hate going to any gathering where old relatives would be present. “Did you gain weight, dear?” “Where’s your boyfriend?” “Goodness, child, what do you mean you’re not getting married?”
- Even with my very sweet letter to Santa, he still hasn’t brought me the gift I want. UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE. (He said he’s still looking!!! *grrr*)
- Dreaming about Nutella cheesecake is not funny when I am gaining weight as I breathe. I know it’s the bloody holidays but that’s not an excuse to eat non-stop! Not even when said cheesecake was being fed to me by a yummilicious Greek god. *pause* Wait. *thinking* Er—no, fatty! (Though the yummilicious Greek god is verra welcome. Heh. :P)
- I did an incredibly stupid stupid STUPID thing this Christmas which I’d promised myself I will never EVER do. And I can’t stop thinking about it. :S Oh god... *cringe* Trollop will strangle me.
- Just because a certain someone has an emotional range of a teaspoon DOESN’T MEAN I HAVE IT TOO! *seethes* Fucker.
- Thinking of interesting things someone could do with leftover Christmas ribbons and bubble-wrap and scissors. 1) Strip me naked. 2) Coil bubble-wrap around me, from underarms to shins. 3) Tie ribbon around my waist to prevent me wriggling. 4) Grab me, listen to my squeals of delight while he pop the bubbles. 5) Cut hole in bubble-wrap. 6) Have his uber wicked way with me. Oh my...
- What’s the best book I’ve read this year, worst book, books I’m looking forward to... Harry Potter and the Deathly Horrible Title Seven definitely top that list.
What about you? Any thoughts you want to share with us? What about your best and worst books of 2006? Or books coming out in 2007 you can’t wait to get your hands on?Labels: holidaze, kinky lifestyle, nutella lovah, under hunky mistletoe
The uber perfect kiss under a pear tree...
So, how did you guys spend your Christmas? *g*
Labels: fuckalicious, holidaze, under hunky mistletoe
Most of you pervs (eheheh :P)—just kidding!—I really mean lovely, bee-yoo-ti-ful readers, *g* have seen this funny video already. But for those of you who haven’t:
Read the rest of my ode to BOB here:
“Come fly with me, let’s fly, let’s fly away...” You might also want to read its sister article:
“Are men afraid of vibrators? They shouldn’t be!” Very helpful/informative piece, I was told. *huge smile* (Why yes, I’m lazy so sorta reposting them LOL. Seriously, verra busy! Don’t know about you guys but I’m fucking swamped!!! In between meetings, I’m either stuck at uber horrific traffic, cramming shopping, or preparing something Christmasy! Aaaaaahh!!!)
P.S. Rebelheart, thanks again, gorgeous. YOU ROCK. One of the best Christmas gifts I’ve received. *sigh* I think I’m in love... *g*
P.P.S. I’ve set up a lot of goodies for everyone! *wink* Look out for them starting on the 26th. Till then! *smooches*
Labels: fucking around, fun and games, holidaze, under hunky mistletoe, youtubery
Oh, for fuck’s sake. Just received a Christmas gift from “one of my friends”...
Honestly... GAAAAAAHH!!!!! *shudder* And it’s
humongous!Gotta say though, I think this...
The Outlandish Companion (outlandish indeed!) is the perfect evah gift for
Outlander fans. (I ken there are a lot o ye out der—admit it!—ye Fraser lovers!!!) So if you’re not yet finish with your Christmas shopping and have a friend or family member who’s chokingly uber gaga over Jamie and her adulteress bonnie lassie, you might want to consider this, er, amazing *cough* companion guide.
Och nay, really, it has all the wee treasures(?)
Outlander aficionados would drool for: synopsis of all the books in the series, complete characters’ list, family tree, horoscopes (huh? *trying to stifle laughter* heh :P), comprehensive glossary, fully explicated “Gabaldon Theory of Time Travel.” (WTF? LOL!) There are also FAQs, biblios, tips, personal stories, all about the author’s research and much more! Hmm... how come
The Bronze Horseman and
Harry Potter don’t have this kind of crap? :/
Anyway, are you guys finish with your Christmas shopping? Cripes, I’m not done yet, I’m not done yet!!!
P.S. I think Gabaldon looks verra cute on the back cover. *g*
P.P.S. I CANNOT BELIEVE I’m sorta plugging this bloody book!—oh, for the love of god!
Related:Labels: die outlander die, holidaze, under hunky mistletoe
Hola Santa,
It’s me again, the “dirty wench.” How are the elves? No, no... as promised, no pastry gifts from me, *rolls eyes* but you better tell Barnaby as he keeps asking me for cookies. He said something about being a Secret Kringle to a pestering snowman. Er, kinda confused about that, actually. :/
Santa, I hope I caught you in a very jolly mood because, um... I’m sorta gonna ask something biggie this time. I know I still haven’t been nice this year (I swear I’m trying—really, really!) but remember, you promised me a gift each Christmas. Yep. Now, since my fervent wish of being the woman who finally bore Brad Pitt a child is viciously snatched away from me by a pillow-lipped vampire, and unless you finally realized giving me Prince William as my honeybunch majesty is a fantabulous idea (seriously, it is!—I swear,
I’ll even learn how to do his laundry!—I bet that Middleton wench can’t do that! *hmph*), I know exactly what I want this year...
Last night as I was walking in a no-snow ground, every where I fucking—oh, sorry—freaking look, there were couples everywhere the hearts floating around would have made Trollop gag. But while I glanced at their stupidly smitten faces, I felt like... *sad* *squirms* everyone but me is in lurve... :( Dunno why, it never bothered me before... but now... well, now it kinda does. That’s why this year, could you purty please, with Nutella on top, I want you to deliver my uber true love in a big red bow.
I know being single during the holidays has its own perks. I don’t have to spend a lot of money and get fussy finding “that perfect gift”; I could buy something purty for myself instead! I could go Christmas shopping non-stop without hearing a whiny “Baby, do we have to go in there?” I could even decorate my tree in purple and pink bows and no one would groan and complain that it’s too girlie! *hmph*
I don’t have to watch the bloody Christmas football games. Rather, I’d sit down with a warm hot choco or eggnog and watch a studful movie like Troy or a marathon of Grey’s Anatomy. (I get warm inside just thinking of almost naked yummilicious bronzed warlords or McSteamy!) I have more time to spend with MY family and MY friends. I’d have dinner wherever I want and spend Christmas HOWEVER I want—instead of pretending having fun with people I don’t even know out of obligation. I’d even kiss whoever I bloody want under a mistletoe!
Still... I’ve thought about this and, despite all that, I have concluded that with my true lurve on my side, I’d be a better person. Mm-hmm. (Isn’t that what you want, Santa?) First, I won’t be as cranky. Blinding orgasms have a way of soothing even a cantankerous Harlot. See the logic? This leads me to my second conclusion: I’d be muchos happier! Much, much more! A good man brings out the best in every woman, I’ve been told. :P I guess it’s also good I’d be occupied I won’t have too much time to think of Trollop.**
Alright then, I have a few requirements. You see, Santa, I’m being helpful so you won’t have difficulty scanning some jackasses. (Of course if you’d fetch me my own Matt Farrell, then you won’t have any more problems! :D)
Santa, focus, this is verra important! Are ya focusing?!? Okay. I want someone as “dirty” and as passionate as me. More so, if you please. Someone intelligent, sexy, fun, charming, supportive who will no doubt be forever faithful to me. (If he’s uber rich that’d be nice too LOL.) He won’t wake up one day and realize I’ve gained some weight or won’t complain that I can’t cook/bake, is a plant-killer and sometimes hates things that bark, meow, tweet and moo. :/ Of course I am the object of his undying devotion and every desire. I mean, he wants me so badly, with every fiber of his being, so absolute is his wanting he’ll ache with it. I don’t need someone who follows rules, I want someone who bends them for me—and ONLY for me.
Hmm... I think that’s it. That’s all I want really, just for me under the Christmas tree. Something all mine. And if he comes with a big red bow—oh joy, much better. *sigh* I’ll be waiting!
Sincerely naughty,
Harlot
**I can’t really expound on what it is Trollop’s doing to me. All I can say is she’s driving me awfully nutty lately and she’s doing it deliberately. :/ The thing is, I don’t think she’s aware of how much she’s killing me... :( Pretty sure I told her I take dying very seriously... Ti voglio bene, babe.
***I thought you should know. Remember JKR, that sadistic witch we visited last year? She’s doing it again, Santa! Honestly, waiting for HP7 is doing irrevocable damage to my sanity. Not only that! I’m afraid she’d finish Harry off using blast-ended skrewts or something uber uber UBER VILE. Really, she’s nasty like that!!!Labels: bitchy mcrant, fucking around, harry potter nutter, holidaze, under hunky mistletoe
I was supposed to post this the day after my “
You Complete Me” article, but since y’all know for the past two weeks we had temporarily lost access of our blog, I didn’t get the fucking chance!!! *hurensohn!* Anyway, *breathe* I thought this little morsel is too good just to be discarded so I’m still putting it up. *hmph* What is it they say, anyway? Better late than pregnant. Er, wait—I think that’s a wrong saying... :/
Where was I? Oh. For those of you who don’t know, LA’s
Beverly Center has a grand, uber fun fun fun tradition called
Hunky Santa. Yep, that’s right. Instead of the usual red-faced fat old perv, a yummilicious Kringle invites everyone (male, female, dog of any age) to sit on his oh so mighty lap and tell him what they want for Christmas, whether it’s nice or *ahem* naughty. Uh-hmm... *g*
This year, there were nine Hunky Santa
candidates. I wanted to ask you guys who you think should win and would love to sit onto, heh. :P But since this is late and they had already announced the winner, I’m just going to post the candidates’ photos and bios, and then tell me, which ones do you think are totally gay? LOL
Hunky MistletoeHello, I’m Hunky Mistletoe and when my dad—old Saint Nick—isn’t looking, I like to sneak a little kiss under the... well, you know what. I’m coming to town so get that mistletoe ready and break out the peppermint candy. I spend the year preparing for the big night by shooting hoops, climbing in and out of chimneys and carrying that big sack full of presents. Vote for me and I’ll bring along my mistletoe.
Hunky SnowmanHello, I’m Hunky Snowman and I won’t melt if you bring me indoors. Nothing warms my heart more than a sweet smile and a hot toddy. When I’m not shining my sleigh and trying out fashionable new Santa suits, I like to get together with my buddies for some cold weather fun like snowboarding and sledding. Vote for me and I promise to keep you cool this holiday season!
Hunky SnowflakeHey there, I’m Hunky Snowflake and I’m here to tell you there’s nothing flakey about me. I’m a year-round athlete and the only snowflake that doesn’t melt in the California sun. From the mountains to the beach, I keep in shape by scaling mountains and skiing in the winter and hitting the waves in the summer. I love hanging out at the North Pole during the off season to catch some of that 24-hours sun. Vote for me and I’ll make your holiday unique and cool.
Hunky KringleHi, I’m Hunky Kringle and unlike my dad, I’m a gym rat and fitness fan. I’ve been spending my vacation building my muscles by lifting full sacks of next-year’s presents to lend dad a helping hand. Thanks to my routine of lifting heavy bags of goodies, I’m ready to ring in the holiday season. Vote for me and I might just bring you an extra bag of presents!
Hunky ElfHello, I’m Hunky Elf and I’m the one to call when you need help with “some assembly required” toys this season. Before being called back to the North Pole to help his dad, I trained in toy and bicycle assembly. When I’m not busy assembling toys and filling Santa’s bags with toys, I like to get party with the other elves. Vote for me and I promise to bring some elf cheer to your holidays and get your gifts set up.
Hunky RudolfHi! I’m Hunky Rudolph and my keen eye and great sense of direction guides Santa’s sleigh every year. The kind of reindeer games that I like to play are ones we can all join in... basketball, baseball, horseback riding. Try and keep up with me if you can... because I always like to be out in front. Vote for me and you’ll never be lost again!
Hunky SugarplumHello, I’m Hunky Sugarplum and I’m one sugarplum you won’t mind having dance around in your head. I like to keep things sweet and always have a little treat for the good boys and girls. While I do share sweet treats with my list, I keep fit by building toys and delivering presents. Vote for me and I’ll share some sugar treats with you this holiday season.
Hunky Candy CaneHello, I’m Hunky Candy Cane and I’m just as sweet as my name implies. When I’m not busy working out and getting ready for the big night, I like to make up my favorite holiday treat... candy cane martinis. Shaken, not stirred! Vote for me and you’ll find these special treats next to your stocking after a visit from Hunky Candy Cane.
Hunky DasherHello, I’m Hunky Dasher and when I’m not running and skiing, I like to slow down and enjoy the holidays. The North Pole is a great place for speed skiing but I always make time to help old St. Nick with keeping track of the good boys and girls and checking the lists to make sure everyone gets what they want. I’m super fast at getting my holiday chores done so I can have a good time with the big girls and boys at Beverly Center.
Oh, my. *groan* I think of all them would rather play with each other’s Christmas poles than nibble on my candy cane... :/ Well, in any case, I’m adding the pics of last year’s candidates:
What do you guys think? Gayer this year? LOL Actually, I prefer last year’s bunch; I think they’re more kringlelicious than what Beverly Center had baked this time.
You know what, what the hell—I don’t care. I’m taking the straightest, er, hottest looking crumpet of the group and if he could heat up the holiday season for me, then by all means—oh my yummy Hunky Santa, purrty please with Nutella on top, come and slide into my chimney, baby. LOL
Labels: fuckalicious, holidaze, under hunky mistletoe
Thank you to the over 6,000 readers
that have visited our site in the last six weeks.
You are the reason we write,
you are the reason we work everyday to be better.Have a bitchin’ Christmas!!!Labels: holidaze, under hunky mistletoe
Hola Santa,
It’s me again, Harlot, or “that dirty wench” as I’ve heard you refer to me. Now, I can’t lie and say I’ve been nice this year; like I’ve told you before, I develop an unbecoming eye twitch every time I try. But since we’ve agreed, as long as I don’t send you any more pastries like the ones that hospitalized the elves (I still maintain my innocence about this dumbfounding accusation!), you give me one gift each Christmas. Fair enough.
I’m still mourning Brad Pitt’s continuous descent to ugliness *sob* (am pretty sure Angie is sucking his blood). I know you still won’t give me my very own pretty castle (*cough* cheap bastard *cough*), or deliver me Beckham with a shiny red bow tied to his naked luscious self (Santa, that stick Victoria is a selfish bitch!—you better not give her anything else!). So this year, am not asking for much.
I’ve wanted this since July, thought it looong and hard... You see I like things that are long and hard so maybe... —Err, where are we? Sorry, got kinda sidetracked with the long and hard thought. As I was saying, for this year, I just yearn for one simple thing, and I covet it more than anything: I WANT TO BITCH-SLAP J.K. ROWLING UNTIL SHE COMES TO HER SENSES! THAT SADISTIC EVIL WITCH!!!
Now, hear me out, Santa. I won’t actually draw blood or anything, just, maybe smack her till she comes to her wits. I get all warm inside just thinking about it, this thought fills me with hope—and what else are the holidays supposed to be about if not hope? And I’m not thinking only of myself (I’m all heart you see); this is for the millions of Harry Potter fans across the world. Rudolf, for one, would agree.
Just look at this: “Realistically, I don’t think I’m going to be able to do real work on it until next year. I see next year as the time that I’m really going to write seven.” Vicious, isn’t she?
First, she made us wait three—THREE FREAKING YEARS for book 5! Then, TWO YEARS for book 6!!! Oh come on! If she doesn’t see herself writing HP7 until next year, when will she finish it then, huh? She needs to tie a lot of loose strings and this “uninterrupted me-time” crap isn’t helping. So I’ve concluded that she’s either too lazy to write, and/or having fans loose their minds while waiting for her books is her idea of fun. She’s doing this deliberately to torture us, I tell you!
Not only that. Someone asked her if Harry would die in book 7. And you know what she said? “Am I going to finish Harry off? I cannot possibly tell you that, I’m sorry.” What the hell does that mean? First, she had the gall to actually kill Sirius, then Dumbledore. Now, she might kill Harry too? What the fuck—sorry, heck does she want?!? She’s a nasty, cruel maniac!!!
I don’t know about you, Santa, but think of all the tormented reader’s souls. At least think of the poor children! This kind of mental anguish isn’t good for developing young minds: very stressful and traumatic. I know for a fact that all the waiting for the previous books affected me. Imagine that, Santa!
Now, you might think I’m being a little harsh, but JKR deserves no less! She doesn’t play fair and that’s just plain mean. See, Santa, this is really important. We need to act now or next thing we know, she’s declaring Dudley is the real boy wizard, the one with the real power to kill Lord Voldy!
Will wait for reply with date and time you will be taking me to JKR’s mansion. I bet they have great cookies, so there’s something in it for you too.
P.S. My friend Trollop asked to include her wish here. She’s a heathen, so she thought you might discard her letter without opening it. I know you’re very generous (*ahem* at least with others!), and besides, her wish is sorta like mine: she wants to whack that idiot Fielding woman in the head and beat her until she brings the REAL Bridget back. Thalia is killing her!Labels: bitchy mcrant, fucking around, harry potter nutter, holidaze, under hunky mistletoe
Anyone that knows me, can tell you that my one obsession—besides shoes, clothes, lingerie, sex, books, chocolate, vodka martinis with two olives, men and movies (yikes, there seem to be quite a few LOL)—is
Seinfeld, the greatest show in television history.
One of the things I enjoy most about this show is that episodes don’t end with family/friends gathered around a living room laughing like a bunch of halfwits, discussing the usually stupid and moronic lessons they’ve learned in the previous half hour (in typical sitcom fashion). The
Seinfeld four had bad things happen to them, did worse things to others, and never learned a single damn thing.
“The Strike” is one of my favorite episodes. I love the idea of a holiday in which: we’re not expected to skip around with a fake smile glued to our faces, being forced to buy presents for people we hate, and having to be polite to carolers who wake us up at the crack of dawn, and then have the fucking gal of expecting to be invited in for a cup of cocoa.
So for all those people who hate Christmas, here is a fun (if a bit weird LOL) alternative:
The origin* (according to Frank Costanza):
Frank: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way.
Kramer: What happened to the doll?
Frank: It was destroyed. But out of that a new holiday was born... a Festivus for the rest of us!
Kramer: That must’ve been some kind of doll.
Frank: She was.
The Festivus celebration includes four major components:
- The Festivus Pole. The tradition begins on December 23rd, with a bare aluminium pole, which Frank praises for its “very high strength-to-weight ratio.” During Festivus, an unadorned aluminum pole is displayed. The pole was chosen apparently in opposition to the commercialization of highly decorated Christmas trees, because it is “very low-maintenance.”
- Festivus Dinner. The Festivus dinner menu is flexible, but it should be filling non-holiday comfort food (no turkey, duck, goose, ham or pork). The televised dinner featured what may have been meatloaf or spaghetti in a red sauce; alcohol is optional.
- The Airing of Grievances. At the Festivus dinner, each participant tells friends and family all of the instances where they disappointed him or her that year.
- The Feats of Strength. The head of the family tests his or her strength against one participant of the head’s choosing. Festivus is not considered over until the head of the family has been pinned to the ground. A participant is allowed to decline to attempt to pin the head of the family only if they have something better to do instead.
Fun/informative Festivus links:
*The Festivus idea came to the show through writer Dan O’Keefe. His father, Daniel O’Keefe, had invented a Festivus holiday in 1966, including many of the features later included in the Seinfeld episode.Labels: holidaze, kinky lifestyle, under hunky mistletoe
Some of these yummy
Santas look gay, which makes me think they won’t be allowing us near their Christmas pole (dammit!). Still, they are way cuter than the fat guy who shouts “ho ho ho.” *g*
If any of these studmuffins will be delivering me presents, then, by all means... slide into my chimney, baby! LOL
Labels: fuckalicious, holidaze, under hunky mistletoe
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