Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Sex chair: New age of laziness kinkiness

Jesus, I don’t know why I always end up getting this kind of videos. *long suffering sigh* (Another one here.) I swear I wasn’t looking for an erotic dentist’s chair, nor was I searching for any weird-ass coin-operated shopping center ride. (I wasn’t! Sheesh. Well, heh, not this time at least. :P) Still, my curiosity was aroused enough *ahem* so I just had to do a wee research on it. Here’s a muchos better but verra NSFW version of that demo video.

Dear perverts, meet Dream Love Chair (no shit!), South Korea’s contribution to the Sexual Revolution. I know it looks like something your horny granny would have built because even I can see Dick Van Dyke and Mary Tyler Moore using it, but nah-ah, don’t be fooled, you skeptic heathens. It’s way advance than the Sybian and Angel Wings Sex Chair, or Power Sex Chair and Luvseat!

Switching on the machine prompts the man’s chair to move backward and forward, while the woman’s slowly rotates. The machine has a five-gear speed system, with the fastest promising five thrusts per second. There’s also a pause button to allow time to consider what’s taking place.

Women’s seats on the Dream Love Chair have even more functions. They can rotate in either direction at a whopping 10 different speeds! And the seat also vibrates—at two adjustable speeds!

Hmmm. Perhaps stories like these should have a “pause button” to allow time to consider what I’ve just read. *confused* Er, but really, I’m trying to imagine: FIVE THRUSTS PER SECOND while the woman is rotating/vibrating in different directions at variable speeds??? Hoh ding-ding-ding, daddy! Hell probably has amusement parks like this LOL.

But the main effect is that the machine basically does all the moving for the couple, taking the drudgery out of grinding the pelvis.

Okay, wait, wait. The DRUDGERY? No wonder the birth rate in Japan is declining. :/ In any case there are two things I’m pri-ti sure of: (1) this ultimate fucking machine is invented for lazy fucks (if you’ll pardon the pun) (honestly, HOW LAZY must you be to use it to have sex?!?), (2) I’d probably end up breaking the stupid thing *g* but I’d love to try it.

What? Oh, c’mon—admit it—you’d love to give it a spin too! *hmph* Fuck the old fashion fucking and the parabolic upside down rotating lumberjack sex! Who cares if it takes out the fun in thrusting?! The only drawback I see is the dude won’t have enough blood in his brain to reach down and speed/slow down the naughty nookie knocker when he’s too horny, banging away and yelling, “NIHON BANZAI! NIHON BANZAI! AIYAYAYAYAY!!!”


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14 comment(s):

Anonymous Kristin said...

Good lord. And it goes up and down. LMAO!

10/09/2007 12:50:00 PM  

Blogger Petra said...

You know this could be good for disabled or old people. Though, how much is it? And if it's only available in South Korea or Japan you have to order it internationally. How the heck are you going to explain this chair to custom? LOL!

10/09/2007 03:54:00 PM  

Blogger Isabella said...

This has "injury" written all over it!

Really how lazy one could be to need that to have sex? Watching the video however... look at the woman's expression. Seems like she is really enjoying the chair. LOL!

10/09/2007 08:38:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hell, I'd give it a go ... once! Lol! But only if the guy looked like Raoul ... lol!

10/10/2007 01:32:00 AM  

Blogger Danielle De Barbarac said...

LOL. Perfect just what I need when the bf and I are both tired after work. :P

10/10/2007 08:56:00 AM  

Anonymous Ollenska said...

New power ranger robot? lol

I think it's aimed primarily at the elderly market.


10/10/2007 09:02:00 AM  

Blogger Jordis Juice said...

Yeah baby! Question: no three seaters? :D

10/10/2007 09:09:00 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Give it a go once or twice but I think it's a useless machine. It takes the imagination out of sex! I mean it's just pushing buttons.

10/10/2007 09:58:00 AM  

Anonymous donna said...

my mother already questions my taste in furniture sigh.

10/10/2007 11:40:00 AM  

Blogger Jolie said...

I guess it was inevitable. We have machines like an electric wheelchair or as simple as the coffee maker. It makes sense that they will invent some sex machine, doesn't it? ;)

10/10/2007 02:03:00 PM  

Blogger Jolie said...

Jordis, that's sold separately of course.

10/10/2007 02:05:00 PM  

Anonymous Sarah McCarty said...

More proof I'm getting old. I'm speechless. LOL! But then again, I can't be that old since I'm not feeling the need to replace flexing muscle with a scary looking chair that my past history with technology is guarantees will malfunction at a critical and most likely embarrassing moment!

10/11/2007 07:54:00 AM  

Blogger Petra said...

I have a mental image of having a party and then my guests discovering this sex chair hidden in my storage room or some place. LOL I don't know how I'm going to explain it. It will be a good party topic however.

10/11/2007 02:20:00 PM  

Anonymous Cathy said...

Oh my god ... it looks like something that could dislocate your hips. I seriously hope it has seat belts. LOL!

10/11/2007 11:02:00 PM