Switching on the machine prompts the man’s chair to move backward and forward, while the woman’s slowly rotates. The machine has a five-gear speed system, with the fastest promising five thrusts per second. There’s also a pause button to allow time to consider what’s taking place.
Women’s seats on the Dream Love Chair have even more functions. They can rotate in either direction at a whopping 10 different speeds! And the seat also vibrates—at two adjustable speeds!
Hmmm. Perhaps stories like these should have a “pause button” to allow time to consider what I’ve just read. *confused* Er, but really, I’m trying to imagine: FIVE THRUSTS PER SECOND while the woman is rotating/vibrating in different directions at variable speeds??? Hoh ding-ding-ding, daddy! Hell probably has amusement parks like this LOL.
But the main effect is that the machine basically does all the moving for the couple, taking the drudgery out of grinding the pelvis.
Okay, wait, wait. The DRUDGERY? No wonder the birth rate in Japan is declining. :/ In any case there are two things I’m pri-ti sure of: (1) this ultimate fucking machine is invented for lazy fucks (if you’ll pardon the pun) (honestly, HOW LAZY must you be to use it to have sex?!?), (2) I’d probably end up breaking the stupid thing *g* but I’d love to try it.
What? Oh, c’mon—admit it—you’d love to give it a spin too! *hmph* Fuck the old fashion fucking and the parabolic upside down rotating lumberjack sex! Who cares if it takes out the fun in thrusting?! The only drawback I see is the dude won’t have enough blood in his brain to reach down and speed/slow down the naughty nookie knocker when he’s too horny, banging away and yelling, “NIHON BANZAI! NIHON BANZAI! AIYAYAYAYAY!!!”