Monday, September 4, 2006

The Bitches through the ages: Template evolution

As Harlot mentioned yesterday, we are celebrating our first anniversary this week. Our little blog has changed a lot since it first started; every one of those changes accompanied by torrents of frustrating tears and temper tantrum hissy fits. Some for not understanding how to work with CSS and template programming, many others because of header—usually freaking conceited Harlot demanding to look “pretty” when I’m already busting my chops enough as it is, GRRR!—and then others, because of color coordination and sidebar layouts (you have no idea how hard it is to make ten different colors harmonize with everything else in a site *shudder*).

I’m going to take you guys on a little tour of our template headers throughout the last year. There are some we tried in the beginning that are long gone (or at least we couldn’t find them LOL), and there are others so embarrassing I refuse to share them, (*cough* Nintendo-looking-one *cough*) but the rest are here to illustrate our evolution. Enjoy! *g*


benstiller


Fist up is one of Blogger’s sample templates. We kept that freaky weird Ben Stiller look-alike dude for like 2 hours, until I figured out how to get rid of him. I knew right from the beginning that I didn’t want any of those predetermined templates. They are fugly and completely useless if you want a pretty and unique blog. So freaky dude—or no freaky dude—it had to go... And then came “Nintendo” template thingy; I still have nightmares about that design, ACKK. Thank god I forced Harlot to take it off, like five minutes after it was up!


pinuphoochies


Right after that we had “pin-up hoochies” LOL. I loved that template, and perhaps if we’d known how to work CSS at the time we would have been able to keep it for more than a few days. Thing is, it was completely nonfunctional. It didn’t have archives, recent posts or anything that might be of use in all honesty. So, though Harlot cried buckets at the thought of not having her twat eaten by that swan, we had to let our third template go. *sniff* And yes, I loved my hammer swinging self, though why I was hammering practically in the nude is beyond me. :/


marilyns


I HATED this template and the cliché looking Marilyns in the header. It was so blah with all the grays and light pastels. Weird enough, we actually had this longer than the rest before it. Not sure for how long, but it was at least a month or two. Thank god Marilyn has left the building. Hopefully the door hit her ass on the way out LOL.


pinupskanks


Now, this header made me blow steam out of my ears like a cartoon! This is when we decided to built our own template from scratch (oh what fools we were). I had no bloody clue as to how Photoshop worked for editing pictures so I had to do it all in Power Point, and let me tell ya, it wasn’t easy!!!

First we had to choose from over 50 fucking pin-up skanks, crop pictures and edit colors. Then, there was the fight over who was who; everyone wanted the slut sliding from banister—funny how she looks as if she’s surprised to find herself there LOL. Our template “structure” was a disaster. Our comments would be one huge line and leave the page through sides; as a result you couldn’t read the whole thing. The header would not, for the life of me, center itself and post titles would come out in HUGE weird looking fonts so you couldn’t make out what half the words said. Arrggg. I swear, that’s when I knew Harlot and I would be friends forever! LOL It’s a wonder we didn’t kill each other!


smurfgirls


After spending over a month in the crappy “pin-up skanks” from above (yeah, that thing took me like 50 hours), we only kept it for a couple of weeks while we designed the “smurf girls” header. We luuurved this one; Harlot especially. She went gaga over the girls’ sickly looking blue faces and threw a tantrum, some months later, when I suggested we change the design to healthier looking lassies LOL.


purplespring


And so, there shall be color and light the good lord said—and that way we arrived to my favorite design to date. It was fresh and colorful with tons of pink—which I love—and yet it didn’t look like diarrhea medicine had puked all over it. I especially loved “my” illustration with the funky red top and the cute bangles (I own a set just like it) and thought we’d keep it forever. But as with everything I get bored easily, and for the past couple of weeks had been nagging Harlot about changing header yet again because: a) people keep posting comments along the lines of, “Are there two bitches or four bitches? If there’s only two, how come all the pictures are different?” and so on, and b) for all my complaining and whining, I have come to love working in Photoshop and will take up whichever excuse to design anything in it. *g*

So, during which header did you discover us? Which one has been your favorite/least favorite so far? And what do you predict we’ll have during the course of the next year?

Labels: ,


42 comment(s):

Blogger Harlot said...

First off, i'm not the one who did the "Nintendo" template--YOU DID!!!

I didn't like that "pin-up hoochies". :/ True, i love the pin-up girls but not when i was stuck as the blonde girl with a freaking swan! Ugh. Actually Trollop wanted me to be the redhead but i thought that one was the worse! Who would like to be near a parrot?!? That thing could peck me to death!

Now "Marilyns", oh god, HATED this one. And the gray, one of the colors i dislike, ack.

"Pin-up skanks" i LOVED. And i'm the girl sliding from the banister. :D I got that pic anyway and they all wanted it, hmp.

I really loved the "smurf girls", because i got those illustrations in the first place. And i think they fit perfectly for us--so chic, so pretty. :D And the blue is very different, no one like it anywhere.

Right now, gotta say i LUUUURVE the newest one. :D And no more confusion about "are there two or four bitches". Seriously people, it's there in the sidebar anyway. And i look so pretty!!!! LOL

9/04/2006 08:44:00 AM  

Blogger C Bradshaw said...

Trollop, this is great post, finding out the different looks TBB had before!

I found this blog when the smurf girls were up. I've never seen anything like it and it actually made me laugh when I first saw it. LOL! But it's very funky and unique.

I can't think of what you girls would have next. Maybe some naked men? LOL I'm loving the new one though.

Harlot, do you have issues with birds or something? LOL I love birds!

9/04/2006 09:28:00 AM  

Blogger Lollie Rose said...

I'm new to this blog and just discovered you guys when you had the colored version of the smurfs. I didn't saw the smurfs though. Heheh. The previous header is very attractive and made me peruse your posts and loved it! Hence, I'm still here! I think the best header so far is the one you have now.

I don't know what header you might have next, but I'm pretty sure whatever you two come up with would be fab. Loving this "celebration" stuff going on! Keep them coming! :)

9/04/2006 10:19:00 AM  

Blogger Polly King said...

This is great, Trollop. I agree with you about the blogger sample templates haha!

As I've said from the previous thread, new here and the only header I saw beside what you have now is that last pic. There's something about the poses of those girls that made me stop by and look. Beautiful girls. Suits you and Harlot.

9/04/2006 11:05:00 AM  

Blogger Dakota Cassidy said...

I discovered you with this template, but diff outfits, I think. I, personally, lurve the one with the pinup chicks.

In fact, I was going to see if I could ask someone to crop it and stick my head on the one with the chick with the hammer. LOL

Dakota :)

9/04/2006 11:13:00 AM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

Dakota, send me a pic and I'll insert your head into hammer wielding skank! :P

9/04/2006 12:27:00 PM  

Blogger Petra said...

I discovered you guys with the smurf girls. I agree with Casey, I thought it was funky and different. I like the pinup girls too, LOL, but this one you're using now is the best one so far. :)

9/04/2006 01:16:00 PM  

Blogger Dance Chica said...

I stumbled upon this blog with the last header of the four bitches. I like that one the best out of all the ones you posted. It's very classy and elegant. But I like the newest one too. You guys did a good job of learning how to do all this blog stuff. I still can't do much beyond the basics. lol.

9/04/2006 02:11:00 PM  

Blogger ames said...

I started lurking around here when you gals had the Smurfs banner. LOL

I love the new one you gals have going on here. Very nice! :P

9/04/2006 02:30:00 PM  

Blogger Isabella said...

I discovered this blog with the current header but the older version. Hey, I think the smurfs are pretty cute. LOL

9/04/2006 02:39:00 PM  

Blogger HOTMAMA said...

I had no idea what the hell a Blog was. I came over after seeing the link at fabb, when you did the "men and their footballs". I was hooked! That was the smurf header.

I think all have been sharp, sexy and fun. The newest is definitely the prettiest.. the green adds more excitement for the eye.

I could see you using full body, (legs, shoes, etc...) lounging, jar of nutella in hand....LOL

9/04/2006 02:49:00 PM  

Blogger HOTMAMA said...

I also like the way the new pics have movement (hands, hair) and a design in the clothing. Again, just more excitement for the eye ;)

Very well done!

9/04/2006 02:53:00 PM  

Blogger Danielle De Barbarac said...

I started lurking around this site when you girls have the smurfs. LOL. Pretty cool banner by the way. I like the current headers, they represent this blog accurately: sexy, fun, smart. ;)

9/04/2006 03:24:00 PM  

Blogger Jolie said...

Trollop, I love the pinup hoochies! Very cute! I started visiting with the last header. Very chic and in style, very attractive. I remember I came upon a post talking about sexual fantasies with pics of a guy so hot he made me drool and I was hooked! LOL

Why would you replace this banner? I like this one! :P It's my favorite so far. Maybe next time, same kind of illustrations but different poses.

9/04/2006 03:41:00 PM  

Blogger David said...

The Blue ladies ... just a touch scary in a rather odd and wonderful way.

9/04/2006 04:06:00 PM  

Blogger Vanessa said...

Twat eaten by a swan? LOL!

I discovered you guys when you had your last banner. It's very classy and different. I like the new one, definitely the prettiest. I'm thinking maybe next time you'll use shoes or bags, books, or something about shopping. :P

9/04/2006 06:52:00 PM  

Blogger Lollie Rose said...

Trollop, where did you learn how to fix your template? Do you both work with computers or what? I have no idea what those codes are! You and Harlot are always adding stuff and it's great. :P

9/04/2006 07:03:00 PM  

Blogger Lorelei said...

I used that blogger sample before for my blog! LOLLOL I agree, it's ugly. Well, unlike you ladies I don't know anything about CSS or designing a blog.

I stumbled upon here when you had the four bitches banner. That one is very pretty but I think just the two bitches is the best. I also like the new otufits they have. Very stylish.

9/04/2006 07:05:00 PM  

Blogger Lorelei said...

Yes, Lollie's right. That sliding tagboard for one is great!

9/04/2006 07:11:00 PM  

Blogger Jordis said...

I like those pinup girls! LOL Where did you get those? :P But yeah, these new ones are better, discovered you when you had the last four bitches. Very classy. Love it! I think next time you might be having shoes... Or men covered with Nutella. LOL

9/04/2006 07:30:00 PM  

Blogger slskenyon said...

As a new reader here myself, and seeing the progress of your blog, I can say that I most favor the current header, and who knows? You may find that you don't like it in another few months and something else may suggest itself to you. Congrats at the one year mark.

9/04/2006 07:32:00 PM  

Blogger Jolie said...

Yes, I'm with Lollie. Are you two computer programmers? LOL

9/04/2006 07:34:00 PM  

Blogger Lola Lovegood said...

You guys wont believe this, but I first bumped into your site when it had the Marilyn template. There was something about a dead grandfather posted and the blah colors made the blog boring and somber (and wtf was that poem about anyway? LMAO).

Then, sometime during christmas vacation I stumbled back in here and the smurf girls were up there. I didn't realize it was the same as the marilyn blog until I read this post!

The second time around the posts were peppier and the colors much better, though the girls in header did look a bit like aliens LMAO Still, I was hooked!

I love the colors now =) This new template is the best so far. I agree with the others that say maybe shoes, bags, books would look great in the header for next time.

Keep rocking bitches.

9/04/2006 07:34:00 PM  

Blogger Jolie said...

OMG Slskenyon! I thought you were Sherrilyn Kenyon! One of my favorite authors!!! LOL

9/04/2006 07:36:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Skskenyon, David,
Welcome! Hope you post often. :)


Lollie, Jolie,
We're not computer programmers LOL. I wish we were. That would save me at least from frustration wanting to kill Trollop everytime we change template! Grrr.

9/04/2006 07:48:00 PM  

Blogger Lollie Rose said...

Hahaha! So, Harlot, you mean you just learned all that coding by yourselves? Did you use any tutorial or something? BTW, Trollop, I suck at PowerPoint. I didn't even know you can edit pictures there! Well, now I know. :P

9/04/2006 07:57:00 PM  

Blogger Shoshana said...

I love this new template. Hey guys you could have a little business making fugly templates pretty.

I tried this thing where you make a template better....after I almost hammered my 'puter, I know it's time to call it quits for a while.

LOL. I've become a mama-blog. I wanted to be a bitchy blog, but darn it, too many family stopped by. I might just do it anyway and to hell with it.

Love this blog. I need it to make my day...especially those eye-candy.

DH was sooo impressed with Harlot's "The Book of O" review. HE felt the same way.

9/04/2006 08:13:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Shosh,
You mean STORY OF O? Oh, i'm glad David likes it. :D Btw, did you get my email?

You know, Trollop and i thought we should sell templates LOL. Of course this was months ago when she was less busy and i was less lazy. :/


Lollie,
It's just Trollop and me. We just tried things up, trial and error. Tried and tried and tried and freaking tried! *sigh* There were times i really wanted to smash her with a pot, really. Like Trollop said, it's a wonder we didn't kill each other!

9/04/2006 08:27:00 PM  

Anonymous Ollenska said...

Trollop, Harlot, very impressive! I don't know anything about blog designs but I'm guessing it involves a lot of work. I've been coming here since the smurf banners. I think that one is pretty cool. :P Though the colored version is better. Prettier. ;)

Olly

9/04/2006 09:01:00 PM  

Blogger Angel Jamie said...

i found you guys when u still had that "sickly blue faces" heading! lol but ugly colors or not i loved ur blog so i stuck! my favorite is the present one, very pretty! i still love you and your site guys btw, but sorry i haven't been posting often.. CONGRATULATIONS!!

9/04/2006 10:21:00 PM  

Anonymous cageyness said...

hello ladies, er...bitches. i'm new here and am so pleased to have found you. i've already emailed all my girlfriends with numerous links and may just join in your BBC reading this month if i can catch up in time. your header is truly what caught my eye right off the bat. i especially love the delicate prints on the clothes of the first and third ladies--wish i could buy them somewhere.

9/04/2006 10:59:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Hi Cageyness, welcome!
Oh, thanks! Everyone is welcome to join our BBC. ;)

You know, i too would love to have that green backless dress, am thinking i'll look fab in it. :P

9/04/2006 11:07:00 PM  

Blogger Rachel said...

I'm pretty sure I saw that Marilyn template before, though I'm not sure if it's you ladies. Oh I like the hoochie mamas! LOL Can I please have that when I finally get my own blog? :D

9/04/2006 11:09:00 PM  

Blogger Aggie said...

I found you when you were blue smurfs. V. cute. But I much prefer the latest.
You have to mix it up to keep it interesting, so good going gals.

9/05/2006 04:29:00 AM  

Blogger Seal&Vito said...

The latest

9/05/2006 06:22:00 AM  

Blogger Gun_Wielding_Bitch said...

The latest is the greatest. I LOVE IT!

9/05/2006 08:14:00 AM  

Blogger Vixen said...

OMG, Finally. LOL, blogger, or just this blog (given that I can post everywhere else but here) hates me.
Almost had a breakdown from not being able to comment, lol.

Um, now I forget what I was going to say.

Oh, I think I started popping in here when the bitches were smurfs. I just remember linking from Trollop's post on fabb and getting hooked. Like no place I'd ever been.

I love the new header, def. the best yet. And I REALLY like the bitches hair in this one. It really looks like a lot of time was spent on getting that just right. Very impressive. Now if you could hold a class on blog templates I'd be very greatful :)

9/05/2006 08:19:00 AM  

Blogger Sparkling Cipher said...

I've lurked for only a couple months, so the header with the four different pics is the only one besides the current I've seen. I think it looks fantastic. The pictures are beautiful and classy and chic - and suit you wonderfully.

I'm hopeless and cowardly when it comes to designing, especially with computers, so I've stuck with a blogger template that I hate. But at least it was the one I found least ugly.... You have my respect and admiration for doing such a great job on this.

9/05/2006 09:23:00 AM  

Blogger Ladybug said...

HAHAHAHA! I used to have that Marilyn template. I agree with you, very blah. I've only been coming here for a few weeks, didn't see the previous banners. The one you have now is the best. Great job!

9/05/2006 02:29:00 PM  

Blogger Lily Moon said...

The header with four different girls is the one that got me to this blog. When I saw it I thought very classy and pretty.

Great job with the current header, it's my favorite yet. You and Harlot look very chic. Love the dresses too!

9/05/2006 04:18:00 PM  

Blogger Mailyn said...

LOL! OMG, some of those were scary! :-P

But props to you guys for doing it all yourselves. :-)

9/05/2006 07:43:00 PM  

Anonymous Angela Low said...

Started coming here during the smurf girls if I remember right.
Came over to check you all out from FABB.And come over when ever I can which is not as much as I like anymore. But hope to have more time soon.
You ladies are WONDERFUL!!!!!!!!!

Angela

9/06/2006 07:12:00 AM