Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Let's burn books to promote literacy ha ha ha

Hi Prospero’s Books owner, Tom Wayne!

Seriously, Tommy, you are an E-D-IOTT. Burning BEEzillion of books to protest “decline in reading”? I don’t get it, y’all. Well, Kevin said I usually miss the point but what’s that stupid pimp knows anyway? Y’all thinks I’m soooo dumb but HA! HE AIN’T GETTIN’ ANY OF MY MOOLA!

But back to my point, Tommy, I’m missing the point here. REALLY. Burn books to PROMOTE reading? Oh, I’m totally CONFUSED, y’all! Not a good thing coz that makes me drop my kiddies or my nuggets or my panties!

I ain’t reading a book even if y’all put my wig on it anyway. Not even if Justin got it for me. TOTALLY, y’all. I only buy magazines that say I’m Queen Bee and y’know, people LOVE me and IDOLIZE me so that means people ain’t buying books too. Besides, I heard on the radio where y’all play my hit songs that books are SO DEAD so it’s like, NO POINT in burning them. That’s like, double kill, y’know. Tee hee. Get it? DOUBLE. KILL. HA HA HA HA! Seriously, it’s not like people still read coz watching TV is funner, y’all, and many people are illegitimate anyway or whatever that word is for those who can’t read.

Anyhow. Y’all burning the WRONG books anyhow. Those ain’t even popular like the “Bible” or “Moby’s Dick”. What I’m sayin’ is that if y’all need a book sparkling to get attention y’all need a book from someone POP-U-LAR. Like a Queen Bee. Get it, Tommy? Ok. That means ME, in case y’all slow like my stupid new nanny. So. Yeah. I’ll write a book and call it “Make Him Come In My Mouth” and it’ll be like Harry Potter!!! AND THEN Y’ALL CAN BURN IT. :D

Ok? So, bye. Sloppy kisses.


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15 comment(s):

Blogger Harlot said...

This is probably the STUPIDEST THING i've ever heard this year (or at least in the top 5). Not Britney's letter, sheesh. The book burning TO SHOW the importance of books. Honestly. Fucking idiots.

9/04/2007 04:09:00 PM  

Blogger Petra said...

Loved Britney's letter! :P

Anyway, I know burning books is usually done to prevent people from reading them, but burning books because people won't read them? Errr, that's a new one, and a very stupid one.

Don't tell me there are no libraries in Kansas City that will take those books?

Of all the stupid ideas... seriously.

9/04/2007 05:17:00 PM  

Blogger Aradia said...

I'm way confused here, dud!
Should I laugh at the letter or should I cry that some idiot burned books?
Is that letter real? Brit is so illegitimate (whatever those people who can’t write are called) !!!!!!!
Very funny. Tanx Harlot, I needed a good laugh! :-D

9/05/2007 02:03:00 AM  

Blogger Jolie said...

WHAT AN IDIOT. Britney and that Tom dude. People are reading less so he burn books as a PROTEST?

Take them to half price bookstores or ebay and sell them! This guy is losing it!

9/05/2007 04:46:00 AM  

Blogger Jolie said...

I feel sorry for Britney that she was pictured like that. Her face - OMG! Perhaps she had mistakenly eaten baby poop thinking it was chocolate.

9/05/2007 04:55:00 AM  

Blogger Isabella said...

OMG! I'm as dumb as Brit because I don't get it either! Why are they burning those books? I'm all for making people read but burning books to push them in that direction... like Brit, I'm totally missing the point.

(LMAO at that letter!)

9/05/2007 05:39:00 AM  

Anonymous Angelray said...

Hahaha Britney's expression is priceless!

9/05/2007 07:16:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...

This REALLY disgusts me. He's one of those fuckers who need to be shot, not in the head but in the leg or something so he'll fucking remember! What's the sense in burning the books? And he did it to save some money? WTF?

If he's considering the cost of storage space, DONATE THE BOOKS YOU FUCK! There are plenty of libraries, schools, salvation armies, etc, that would GLADLY have some if not all of those books. To think there are many people/places who are in need of books!

This is like extortion really. Nothing but to generate sale in a barbaric way. Take advantage of people's affection for books by threatening to burn them if no one "adopts" them--meaning BUY them from him the jackass--and THEN pass it as a fucking PROTEST to advocate literacy. Who the fuck is he kidding???

9/05/2007 08:08:00 AM  

Blogger Jordis Juice said...

LOL! That was funny!

Anyway, I guess it's better than burning people because they won't read books or in this case they won't buy your books. :P

9/05/2007 09:14:00 AM  

Blogger Jordis Juice said...

"Perhaps she had mistakenly eaten baby poop thinking it was chocolate."

Jolie, that is disgusting! LOL

9/05/2007 09:15:00 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't really keep books. Once I read them I pass them on to my friends or donate them. If some of it ends up getting burned, so be it. People burn junk all the time.

9/05/2007 10:08:00 AM  

Anonymous Lindsey said...

I too do not like this. As they say, burn books today, burn people tomorrow.

No book is completely without any use or worth. If you are so selfish, why not recycle? I would never consider burning books especially when I could find them a new home.

9/05/2007 11:43:00 AM  

Anonymous Mary said...

I see a different story here than you. Books are destroyed all the time, though usually by publishers and not booksellers since booksellers can usually return books they can’t sell. In order to make warehouse space, publishers routinely destroy their unsold (i.e., unsalable, unwanted, unremainderable) inventories. Of course, they do so by "pulping" them rather than burning them, and so few know. Authors are spared the shame, and editors the demoralization that comes from such apparent failure and waste. In this sense, books are no different from other commodities: they are often overproduced.

The story I see here is an old story: brick-and-mortar bookstores are a dying business and brick-and-mortar used book stores are already dead, with a few exceptions.

9/05/2007 02:26:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Those people are publicity hounds my online book swapping site offered to go with a truck and pick all the books they didnt want and redistribute among the website members and they did not reponds. They just want publicity for the store!

9/06/2007 03:30:00 PM  

Blogger Nicole V Lozano said...

I don't disagree with a single thing said above. Except...whether it's to bring attention to a cause or publicity to his store, he has certainly done a good job of getting attention. Newspapers, TV, online, hell even he has all of you talking about it... must be something to be said for that.

9/06/2007 11:25:00 PM