Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Coo-coo kachoo, Mr. Robinson

First off, let’s be clear on this (for newbies): I am no damn expert on anything except my own selfish harloty desires. So before you have another short course of training in the Harlot and Trollop’s Sexual Boot Camp that’s akin to a veritable pu pu platter of sex orientation, let me remind you that everything is given under a fruity martini (with wee umbrella :D) while I’m in the kitchen successfully making a mess and several little fires.

Now, those of you who like older men, say aye. *g*

What? Nay? Liar. :P It’s a known fact women are attracted to older men. I don’t mean a 26-year-old like me dating a 76-year-old geezer who needs Viagra before His Robin and His Merry Men could function OMGWTFBBQ. Dears, that’s not attraction, that’s affliction. :/

I’m talking about women wanting a strong and confident man. In the days of yore, this meant an egg fertilizer who looks more of a caveman than a baboon and could hunt to feed his family while protecting them from saber-toothed cats and giant beavers. Lucky for us, today we now have sperm clinics, butchers and policemen from the zoo! YAY!

Oh, a woman still EXPECTS a man to provide for his family—but in this era of TV soap operas, she now expects her man to be mature, know who he is/what he wants/sure he’s not gay, and provide financial stability and long-term security. Yes yes, these can be found in most men over 18 but more often than not, women correlate older men with the CAPABILITY of providing said traits and an oh-so-pritti Birkin. :D

In favor of the older man. Women want to be wooed, and ohhh... older men KNOW how to do it. I.e.: Instead of inviting you to a friend’s party, they invite you to an out of town concert. Something that most young men wouldn’t think of because they can’t afford it—or their mama won’t allow them, Xenu forbid!

There’s also the fact that older men are more experienced, and with experience comes muchos better performance. *ahem* It’s true: like fine wine, they get better with age... *g* Add his graceful ways, proper grooming, dressing well, that certain hot-hot-HOT sexiness of I-have-seen-the-world-fuck-off, and smelling good whilst kissing you and sitting in his comfortable car. Oi, muuuuy delicioso. ;)

On dating an older man. When I was 20, I dated a 35-year-old guy. He was Mr. Super-Sexy-Smart-Smooth; I was Bounce-Bouncy-Shy. (What? I could be shy! *hmph*) After the first awkward date, we found some common interest and started from there. The fact that he’s a fantastic kisser, mmm mmm... didn’t hurt at all, hee. :P The TRICK is this: (a) Find a common ground that will let your relationship to be successful. (b) If your interests are completely different, heck, just embrace it and RUN with it! I.e.: Instead of pouting that I dunno what he’s talking about, I listened to him—and he did too. We learned a thing or two from each other. *g* Plus, he likes to cook; I like to eat. He likes books; I like to read. He loves oohs and aahs; I... oh, get with it.

The most common dilemma is the negative speculations from gossips around you. But hey, I’m a shameless heathen who doesn’t give a flying fuck what others think LOL. I say as long as you know that YOUR and HIS intentions are inline, then no reason to justify your relationship. If your family/friends think you’re being “weird”, just let them get used to it. Surely if they see how happy he makes you, they’ll be happy for you too. Just—for crying out loud, woman—DON’T DO PDA!!!

How young is too young? Mr. Super-Sexy-Smart-Smooth and I didn’t work. Why? The two decades dividing us and, let’s face it, I was scarcely an adult. Oh, youth! *sniff*

There are 16-year-olds that are being pursued by a much older man and they fall in love with them. I can’t blame them, but do I think it’s right? Hmm... I don’t want to say things like statutory rape, *cough* borderlinepedophilia *cough*, EWW GROSS and PERVERT PERVERT!—but this makes me want to shout, “Drop the creep! Enjoy your youth and date guys closer to your own age!”

This is the 21st century, dude needs psychiatric help if he’s 30+ (mid-20) and seriously consider having a relationship with a 16/17-year-old. Age ISN’T nothing but numbers when YOU’RE A FUCKING TEEN AND HE’S TWICE YOUR AGE. I think any man who gets involve with a girl so young has demons in his closet; he’s either immature or has low self-esteem, Tom Cruise syndrome (crazeee midget with a god complex), a control freak, under-achiever, in an early mid-life crisis, emotionally confused, PERVERT PERVERT, or all of the above!

Now, I won’t say your feelings aren’t real. It may be real to you—and who’s to say he’s not sincere? But truth is, THAT’S NOT ENOUGH. You HAVE to consider: Why can’t he relate to women his age (or at least 10 years younger)? What does his being older mean; does he control you or take charge in some other way? What about his exes; *alarm* are they all teens as well?

You might say, “Judgmental Harlot, harrumph, what about those in their 30’s dating someone in their 50’s?” The simple answer: life experience. A teen can’t claim he/she has finished school with a stable career and lived as an adult. Basically, a teen—no matter how mature—is just starting life while a 30-something-person’s is already in full boogie, or, er, tango.

After 11 years of dating, I’ve deduced... ALL boys are the same LOL. Younger men, older men, they all want to get between your legs and dance to the tune of shaking the sheets. (C’mon, I DARE you to deny it. *g*) They only differ on HOW they get to it. Younger men are eager, sometimes too sweet like a little seal pup you want to clobber. Older men, ah... they’re like crossword puzzle: complicated, tricky and you’re NEVER really sure you got the right answer.

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15 comment(s):

Anonymous Hussy said...

The truth of the matter is, no matter how smart a guy is (I married a magna cum laude guy), all they really want is between the legs...especially if they can't have itfor one reason or the other.

Dare I say they sound like littl puppies with that begging noises?

I like an older guy, but simply because boys mature at a much slower pace than girls. To get one at my emotional maturity, Ihave to marry one 8 years older than I am. Otherwise, I might have to mother him too and I have no patience for that.

9/04/2007 05:06:00 AM  

Blogger Té la mà Maria - Reus said...

hello, kiss regard from Reus Catalonia

9/04/2007 09:11:00 AM  

Blogger December/Stacia said...

Yes, yes, yes. I keep trying to tell my hubby that, having just turned 35, he's entering the very sexiest years for a man. He refuses to believe me but it's totally true. I've never understood the real appeal of younger men (yeah, I get the looks, and I guess the stamina) but men those age aren't sexy like a mature man is. IMO, anyway.

9/04/2007 09:12:00 AM  

Blogger Rachel said...

LOL! Harlot, you crack me up!

My boyfriend is 9 years older than me and I relish the fact that he is older. When I met him, I was very impressed with his manners and the way he carried himself. I never saw that on the younger men I used to date. I also liked the way he smelled. :-)

Older men are more attentive, they give more splendid gifts, they are more secure. They know what they want. What's not to love?

9/04/2007 09:25:00 AM  

Anonymous Ina said...

Hi. You gals have a great sense of humour. On older men: I'm 24 and my man is 49. Throw in his child from a previous relationship and we've got a heck of a situation going on. However, we're very much in love, and his child is involved equally. The sex we have is amazing, but it's a lot more than this - we have fun together, we enjoy each other's company. It is awful, the looks we get in public, but that's part of the deal and you either accept it or you don't. Sure when I'm 50 he's probably kicking the bucket at 75 but if you get a good 2 decades of genuine love in a wonderful relationship, what more can you ask for? That's life.


9/04/2007 10:58:00 AM  

Blogger Lord Kobol said...

Nice blog, and cool design, like Kirai's one!

Besos from Spain :-)

9/04/2007 11:19:00 AM  

Blogger Vanessa said...

Good post. Once I was involved with a man 12 years my senior. I think there is nothing wrong with dating an older man, if you feel that you are great together and he loves your company and you his.

I find that I get along much better with men 2-5 years younger. Also, I find younger men look better. ;)

I think it depends on the couple. The boyfriend is a year younger than me and we have been together for 6 years now. We get along just fine and I would not trade him for anything in the world.

9/04/2007 11:36:00 AM  

Blogger Jolie said...

LOL. I'm in my 30s and I like men in their 40s. I have never liked guys my age. I like a mate that's into life, traveling together and building a solid financial future. If his sex drive hasn't changed in the last 20 years, much better.

What I didn't like about younger men was their affinity for hanging out at bars or just always hanging out with their buddies. I also find younger men to be less cultured, less attentive and usually very unstable. I never liked that and I don't want to waste my time.

9/04/2007 11:53:00 AM  

Blogger Isabella said...

Oh, I like older men. They are sexier than younger guys, more understanding and let's not forget stable and capable of buying you good gifts. LOL :P

9/05/2007 05:46:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Welcome. Hope you'll join us often. :)

I actually find older men more attractive, hee. I mean, like i said in the post, i dunno, they have that grace about them, the way they carry themselves... and oh man, i can't believe i'm saying this but i actually like those little flecks of gray hair. Look at MY Phin. :P And i think not all lines are bad, since some of them show that you like to laugh. Another example is Gorgeous George. I like him more now than when he was still doing ER. ;)

9/05/2007 08:20:00 AM  

Blogger Jordis Juice said...

I like older men but I can't imagine myself with someone 20-30 years older than me.

I once dated a guy 11 years my senior. At the time, he made any other guy around me appear inferior because nothing could come close to how good he felt. I never regretted anything we had together.

All I can say is that don't let your friends' perception affect your relationship if you really like him and his intentions are true.

9/05/2007 09:31:00 AM  

Anonymous Lindsey said...

Harlot, lol. Good post. I married a man 6 years older than me. Not the prototypical older man but sometimes he complains that he is getting older and that makes him worry that I will leave him for a younger man (he is joking). Hubby is now 41 and I always tell him 'stop being silly. If I leave you, where will I get the unbelievable sex from?' :-)

9/05/2007 12:07:00 PM  

Blogger December/Stacia said...

Oh, no, I agree older men look better too. I just mean in terms of young beefcakey guys.

In general older men are more handsome, more distinguished, better groomed, and more appealing all around.

9/05/2007 01:40:00 PM  

Blogger kinky courtesan said...

I'm 20, boyfriend is 30. He has 4 children, 2 of which live with him. I absolutely love what I have with him and the 2 children I know. I had a REALLY bad co-dependant relationship and didn't really know what a real relationship was. I'm learning now and it feels good. I'm happy to have more emotional stability, even though he is currently going through a divorce and the bitch is crazy (ie trying to break into his house when he isn't even there and she has no reason to be there). They have been separated for about 2 years and shes been engaged that entire time (yes cheating was a huge factor... duh) Anyways.... I love what I have and its really ganna suck if it doesn't work out but I'll live and learn from it. I kinda like playing the mom role. And its without 9 months of baby belly and labor!

9/06/2007 03:12:00 AM  

Blogger Duvy said...

Ok, first off. *HUG* Thank you for the posty!! ^_^ Also, not dead I swear, but just been having a really up and down kinda month. Coincidentally revolving around an older guy. XD

I totally agree that relationships where one person is much younger/older than the other can work as long as you can find things in common. IMO, the more things you don't have in common, the more chances you have to learn things you wouldn't otherwise be able to.

And, in addition to being experienced in life, sex, etc, there's also the hope that by the time they're in their 30s, for example, they'll have most of their shit together in terms of what they're looking for in a relationship and having a steady job or at least a good idea of where they want to go in life career-wise.

The only down side to dating an older man might be that he's looking to really settle down with kids and all. If that's what you're looking for, too, then awesome, but otherwise it might become a problem if you're just not ready for it.

9/15/2007 01:22:00 PM