Monday, February 12, 2007

Claws?!?

Lately, I’ve been in the mood for a paranormal. Seeing as I love me some hot immortals—especially vampires—I decided to hop over to Amazon and see what they had to recommend. I’ve already told you how much I love Amazon and the Amazonians, right?

I found a list called “Humor, Love and Vampires” which included the DH books, and so I got another series this Amazonian recommended: “The Immortals After Dark” series by Kresley Cole. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have read too little of A Hunger Like no Other to tell you whether it’s good or bad, but what I can tell you is, so far, the hero is a perverted brute with claws!!!

Yes, you read right, the dude has fucking claws! I am horror-struck just by the thought of this. When I first read this sentence I was dumbfounded:


He flicked his claw down her blouse and sliced it and the flimsy bra beneath open, then slowly brushed the halves past her breasts.


I’m sorry, am I supposed to find this, er, sexy? Forget about the fact that he just met her, she has no idea who he is, thinks she’s getting raped and he rips her shirt off with his claws? I am obviously missing something here!

Note: For those of you who aren’t getting the picture, this is the definition for claw, and a photograph just to get your imagination going LOL. Also, keep in mind that there’s a scene where “Birdy” uses his claws to jerk off in the shower. *ACCKKK*

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37 comment(s):

Blogger ...dance? said...

Dude needs a manicure. :D

Maybe they were going more for Wolverine-type claws? Or the Beast in B&B? Because those two are pretty sexy (well, cute, in the Beast's case).

2/12/2007 06:29:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Jaysus, i'm sorry but WTF? And why why WHY do you have to post that disgusting claw pic? You know i fucking hate birds, you maniac!!!--Ohgod, now i'll probably get a bad dream about this.. :S

2/12/2007 06:32:00 PM  

Blogger Petra said...

Trollop LOL LOL! Are you serious? The hero has claws? I want to think of Wolverine as Hugh Jackman is really hot but still, I don't think Wolverine will use his claws to spank his monkey. Ouch, that gotta hurt. Only a deranged idiot would do that I reckon...

2/12/2007 06:49:00 PM  

Blogger ...dance? said...

I don't think Wolverine will use his claws to spank his monkey.

Oh, ouch, no. But to tear off Scott- er, someone's clothes? I could see that.

2/12/2007 06:58:00 PM  

Anonymous girly said...

Dude takes "scratching one out" literally. LOL

2/12/2007 07:01:00 PM  

Blogger Petra said...

LOL. I agree Dance.

Oh, I just realized that's Cyclops in your picture! :) The actor who played him in X-Men movies, I forgot his name, is also hot. Young, but hot.

2/12/2007 07:02:00 PM  

Blogger ...dance? said...

James Marsden. :) He was also Richard White in Superman Returns. And the jilted fiance in that Nicholas Spark's movie (the title of which escapes me at the moment). Poor guy never gets the girl. Although, I think he's in his 30s...

The Cyclops in my avatar is from Whedon's Astonishing X-Men (which I can't recommend enough ;) ).

2/12/2007 07:15:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Oh, poor Cyclops, he never gets the girl... Though i'll prefer Superman, Noah and Wolverine too, heh. :P

2/12/2007 07:18:00 PM  

Blogger Danielle De Barbarac said...

OMG, LOL! I've yet to read Kresley Cole and I don't think I'll be reading this book now. I'm not into claws, sorry. :P

2/12/2007 07:27:00 PM  

Blogger Chaeric said...

What claws soooooooo not sexy

2/12/2007 07:44:00 PM  

Anonymous Ollenska said...

"Scratching one out". Lol, I was going to say that.

Trollop, I have never read Kresley Cole but some of my friends have recommended her to me. But now I'm thinking a hero who jerks off using his claws... OUCH.

Olly

2/12/2007 07:52:00 PM  

Blogger Lorelei said...

You've got to be kidding Trollop! LOL. Who in her right mind would let a clawed freak near her? Moreover, who in his right mind would touch his willy with a claw???

2/12/2007 09:39:00 PM  

Blogger Rachel said...

I've read this book. Trust me, the claw thing is the least of what's wrong with this book.
.
.
SPOILERS
.
.
I like paranormals but this book is over done (and a little stupid frankly). The hero is a werewolf/vampire. The heroine is a half vampire half valkyrie. What's worse, none of the characters are likable. There's also the fact that he kidnaps her and threatens to rape her. Not my cuppa tea.

2/12/2007 10:43:00 PM  

Anonymous Lindsey said...

That's got to be a joke... Why would anyone jerk off using a claw? lol

Lindsey

2/13/2007 12:37:00 AM  

Blogger kinky courtesan said...

mmmm.... whats wrong with claws???? AHHHH yeah that would freak me out to... pfft.... some writers just are weird... like that Dakota Cassidy girl.... now shes a crazy girl.... did you hear what she said to her homeowners association???? i mean.... pfft.... i mean.... yeah i don't know what i mean.... LOVE YOU DAKOTA!

2/13/2007 01:48:00 AM  

Blogger Jolie said...

Claws are soooo not sexy! Well, except for Wolverine. Though as wild as Logan is I doubt he uses his claws during sex.

By the way, that claw picture is nasty!

2/13/2007 08:32:00 AM  

Blogger Polly King said...

Oh, ouch. I also don't want to think what's in his menu for a "good" foreplay... poor heroine.

2/13/2007 11:00:00 AM  

Blogger Mailyn said...

OK, so I think it's sexy but then again I've been told I'm the weird one. Come on now, Wolverine can use his claws on me any damn time he wants! LOL

2/13/2007 11:00:00 AM  

Blogger Ladybug said...

I'm with Petra. Wolverine wouldn't use his claws, but even if he's Hugh Jackman no way I'll let myself be clawed. I'll be screaming my head off and not in ecstasy that's for sure!

2/13/2007 11:29:00 AM  

Blogger Vanessa said...

Lol. Wolverine is hot, but please... no claws!

2/13/2007 02:16:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

Finished this book today.

There was no real chemistry between the characters. Yes the sex/foreplay was hot (when I could forget about the claws) but there was just something misisng.

Heroine spend the book being either an idiot or a bitch and hero was a brute (even if he did grow on me later on). Also, he had sex with her in werewolf form (their first time!) ICKKKK!! And he kept thinking about how HUGE his cock was and how he would rip her apart. Kind of freaked!!! LOL

My problem with the immortals in this book is that everything seems a bit too perfect and they keep beding rules to so everyone can have bizzare HEA's. It just doesn't seem believable; they don't behave as they should I guess.

Don't think I'll be reading the rest of the series *sigh*

But will move on to that J.R. Ward bad boys in the night or what have you series.

2/13/2007 03:26:00 PM  

Blogger ...dance? said...

"But will move on to that J.R. Ward bad boys in the night or what have you series."

I call it the one with the Awful Names. ;-)

2/13/2007 04:15:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

Are they bad dance? Kind of had enough bad paranormal with that last book. Don't think I could take another one so soon LOL

2/13/2007 04:33:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Everyone seems to be reading JK Ward. I was gonna buy some of the books but then someone said that her characters speak and dress like hip hop losers. OH YUCK! *barf* This is why i still haven't read her and waiting for Trollop to try her first. If the books are bad, Trollop can suffer for both of us. :D

2/13/2007 04:44:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

Hip hoppers? Oh god *groan*

I'm a poor student I can't afford to waste money on Eminem and lil' Kim falling in love! LoL

Now, give me a well dressed character and a good story and I'll use my grocery money for books. I'd, for example, starve for Matt Farrell, and Rick Addison *sigh*

2/13/2007 04:49:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

I told you that! But what did you do? Listened to a faceless Amazonian and you wonder why you end up getting freaks with claws!

I'm not into main characters who speak like "hip hoppers" or whatever you call them. And dresses that way too. :/ Oh god... They keep saying JR Ward's books are hot. Well, i'd rather have my Matt Farrell without a hot sex scene than a hot book with a hero who will remind me of Britney's ex.

2/13/2007 05:06:00 PM  

Blogger ...dance? said...

The names are horrible, but the books overall aren't too bad, if you can get past the naming conventions and some of the silly, silly things the boys do (such as the slang/hip hop in which they speak). I don't recall any of the women speaking that way.

Also, I prefer the friendships between the guys in the story - it's rather male dominated (oh, the hoyay), and I'd almost say anti-female (it skirts that line, but hasn't really crossed it) - to the romantic pairings, but the romance is for the most part works well, too (and no claws! Just teeth :D).

I didn't love the books, but they don't make me want to throw them against the wall either, and I'd read the next one in the series. I did end up skipping most of Zsadist's (see what I mean about the names?) back story, though, and just read most of the sillier/lighter bits. I haven't gone back and re-read them, but I think they'd hold up as mostly fun reads/guilty pleasures. I think they work better if you don't try to think too deeply about them, and skim wherever you come across something that bugs you ;-).

One paranormal that I quite liked was Nalini Singh's Slave to Sensation. Heroine is from a race of people who are trained pretty much from birth not to have any feelings, while the hero, a shape-shifter, is the opposite, relying on his feelings to keep him alive and thriving on connection with others. They're brought together and stuff happens. One thing I really liked about it was that the h/h didn't spend too much time fighting each other; most of the conflicts were external, instead of something like the hateful Big Mis/lack of communication plot device, and the resolution worked for me. I'm looking forward to her next book.

2/13/2007 05:14:00 PM  

Blogger Rachel said...

Ok, I didn't like Kresly Cole but JR Ward- I love her! I'm actually waiting for Lover Revealed!

BBs, Dance is right. You gals should at least try it (or Trollop should as Harlot suggested lol). If you can get pass some silly things, you'll love the series. :)

2/13/2007 09:49:00 PM  

Anonymous ~Cassie~ said...

"I'm actually waiting for Lover Revealed!"

Me too Rachel. I love JR Ward's brotherhood series.

Now, claws ... I like Wolverine, does that count?

2/13/2007 11:45:00 PM  

Blogger Jolie said...

I have yet to read JR Ward too. So there are no claws in her books?

Mmmmmm...

Why am I suddenly disappointed? LOL

2/14/2007 07:20:00 AM  

Blogger Petra said...

Ok I just remember this. Didn't one of the DH, Zarek I believe, has claws?

2/14/2007 09:33:00 AM  

Blogger Lollie Rose said...

I don't think Zarek used his claws to "spank his monkey" LOL and if I recall it correctly, he didn't use it with Astrid either.

2/14/2007 03:33:00 PM  

Anonymous ~Cassie~ said...

I love the Kenyon's dark hunters and Dance with the Devil is one of my favorites in the series. I don't remember Zarek having claws though.

2/14/2007 10:23:00 PM  

Blogger ...dance? said...

Here's an amusing review of Lover Revealed that's pretty much how the other books come across to me, too.

2/16/2007 12:05:00 PM  

Blogger Isabella said...

I just thought of Catwoman. Doesn't she have claws too? And men think she's sexy!!

2/17/2007 08:01:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kresley Cole's series is very good so far, as for the claw thing I actually didn't pay much attention to that..now JR Ward's series is amazing, one of the best paranormal series I have read in a long time

2/18/2007 11:08:00 PM  

Anonymous Saam said...

I just like Kresley Cole's books for their over-the top characters. It cracks me up the way the Valkyries are always shrieking at each other! You might like No Rest for the Wicked better.

I agree with dance? re the Ward series - I loved Bam's take on it!

2/20/2007 07:19:00 AM