Saturday, February 10, 2007

Bitchin' News (02/10)

  • Senator Barack Obama plans to formally announce his candidacy for president Saturday.
  • Smith’s death unexplained after autopsy. Anna Nicole Smith does not appear to be a victim of foul play, according to preliminary results of an autopsy performed Friday. -Did you see Rosie talking about Anna hours before she died? What about Prince Von Anhalt (Zsa Zsa Gabor’s hubby) claiming he might be the father of Anna’s baby? Goodness, this is turning into a Spanish telenovela. Next thing we know there’s an evil twin sister involved... Poor Anna, may she rest in peace.
  • The 49th Grammy Awards will take place live on Sunday, Feb. 11, at Staples Center in Los Angeles and will be broadcast in HDTV and 5.1 Surround Sound on the CBS Television Network at 8 p.m. (ET/PT). For a complete list of nominees, click here. -Geesh, the Grammys’ voting grandpas are always out of date. Take James Blunt’s “You’re Beautiful” (the most inaptly wedding song EVAH) as an example; why the fuck it’s nominated this year is beyond me. Pretty sure it came out the year I graduated from high school. :/ This is why even if Justin Timberlake brought sexy back, *snort* I doubt his “FutureSex/LoveSounds” would win Album of the Year. Um, maybe on 2009?
  • Two teenage brothers each were sentenced to 10 years in prison for torturing a puppy by cooking it in an oven. -When I discovered my sisters’ plan to torture me by getting a dog, (not a puppy but a bloody DAWG; honestly, how could they do THAT to me?!!) I had a fucking panic attack. (I still hyperventilate whenever I think about it. *sniff*) I know full well I’d DIE when it arrives—either death by asphyxiation or the damn thing would sick on my pretty throat. Neither option is appealing to me; as you can see, I take death verra seriously! But, would I do that? Hmmm... that’d take care of the dog... er, of course not! Despite what you hear, I’m not THAT evil, you sick sick vile minds!
  • Bangkok, Thailand—It’s been billed as the “meal of a lifetime,” a 10-course dinner concocted by world-renowned chefs for the most discriminating palates and—at $25,000 a head—the fattest wallets. -$25,000 for a meal? WTF? What kind of foods do they serve anyhow? Imperial beluga caviar and belon oysters with the most amazing foreplay serve *ahem* by uber yummilicious naked chefs? :P I better get at least a thousand crème brulee of mind-blowing orgasms that will fly me to the moon as my dessert after that! LOL
  • Canada-based Books By You says it sells thousands of personalized romance novels each year with titles such as ER Fever and Pirates of Desire, where the reader is the star. It is not Bronte, but customers are going crazy for the novels that make them the main characters. -Oh, my good god. *groan* I already hate Valentine’s Day enough without gifts like this. Though... I guess it’ll be fun to read something like:

    “Jamie! Not here!” Trollop said, squirming away and pushing her skirt down again.

    “Are you tired, my Vicious?” he asked with concern. “Dinna worry, I won’t take long.” Now both hands were at it, rucking the heavy fabric up in front.

    “No!” Trollop replied, all too mindful of the twenty men lying a few feet away. “I’m not tired, it’s just—” She gasped as his groping hand found its way between her legs.

    “Lord,” he said softly. “It’s slippery as waterweed.” (TEE HEE)

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26 comment(s):

Blogger are you asking me to dance? said...

Hehe. That quotation is sure to set someone off (and not in a good way, I'd imagine).

I guess we Canucks have nothing else to do all winter but make our own fun with personalized novels.

2/10/2007 12:18:00 PM  

Blogger Isabella said...

I feel sorry for Anna and the baby she left behind. This is all a mess. Even in death controversies follow her. Her son's death last year was messy too, if I recall it correctly. And what will happen to her baby? I think everyone is after the money that's why they are trying to get hold of the baby. Well maybe except for this Von Anhalt seeing he's a prince and all...

2/10/2007 12:22:00 PM  

Blogger Ladybug said...

LMAO! Trollop and her slippery waterweed. LOL!

Sorry about that Trollop :P You have to admit it's funny...

2/10/2007 01:14:00 PM  

Blogger Dakota Cassidy said...

God, those bastards. I can't believe they'd do that to a poor, helpless animal and then to top it all off, threaten some little kids.

I adore animals--love them all and it hurts my heart that crap like this goes on.

Those freaks are serial killers in the making.

Gawd.

Dakota :)

2/10/2007 01:47:00 PM  

Blogger Polly King said...

LMAO about Trollop. :P

Obama. As much as I like Obama, I don't think he should run. He is not ready. It's not that America is not ready for a black president, especially when said candidate is as charismatic as this guy, but his legislative record is too short. That's why Hilary didn't run in 2004 and why she shouldn't this coming election. And if he loose, that would be a black mark against him. Voters tend to see a candidate who lost an election as a "used politician". He should wait for 2012.

2/10/2007 01:55:00 PM  

Blogger Vanessa said...

Love the Trollop quote, lol!

I wonder who attended this meal of a lifetime. That's a lot to spend for a meal. I can travel to Europe with that money!

2/10/2007 03:17:00 PM  

Anonymous ~Cassie~ said...

I can't believe Anna's dead. Last year her son, now her...

2/10/2007 04:01:00 PM  

Blogger Danielle De Barbarac said...

LOL. Loved the Trollop-Outlander quote. ;P

So true about the Grammys. As much as I adore U2, I think they always win even if some albums/artists performed better than them. I also don't think Justin will win, though the Dixie Chicks will.

Anna...it's just horrible. What waste.

2/10/2007 04:22:00 PM  

Anonymous Tinkerbell said...

I agree with Dakota, those kids are serial killers in the making! I'm glad they got sentenced for doing that. Even when I was a kid I love dogs...

Loved the Trollop quote!! :-D

2/10/2007 04:30:00 PM  

Blogger Lorelei said...

OMG, laughing out loud here about the Trollop quotation! Trollop, I didn't know you have that much love for Jamie :p.

Too much going on with Anna's case. Some say there's foul play, some say it's suicide, overdose, there's even one where she drowned in her own vomit. What a waste indeed, just terrible.

2/10/2007 04:49:00 PM  

Blogger Lorelei said...

By the way Polly, I agree with you about Obama. I actually think he is brilliant but he should have waited.

2/10/2007 04:50:00 PM  

Blogger Marg said...

Ah Jamie........sigh. LOL!

2/10/2007 08:43:00 PM  

Anonymous Lindsey said...

LMAO about the Trollop quote!!! FYI, I love Jamie Fraser! (running away from Harlot, lol)

Lindsey

2/10/2007 09:42:00 PM  

Blogger Jordis said...

Anna, such a waste. And she's so young too. I didn't know about that Prince. OMG, what a scandal.

What is wrong with people and they cook dogs? It's not only cruel and sadistic, but why would you cook a dog???

Love the Trollop quote and the hot chefs, sigh, are always welcome. LOL

2/10/2007 10:13:00 PM  

Blogger Rachel said...

I really like Sen. Obama... let's wait and see.

I only watch the performances in the Grammys but I don't care about who win or not. What I'm looking forward to is the Oscars. :)

2/10/2007 10:22:00 PM  

Anonymous Ollenska said...

"Are you tired, my Vicious?" LOL

Loved your commentary Harlot. i like the bitches news :)

Olly

2/10/2007 10:33:00 PM  

Anonymous Ollenska said...

bitchin' news, I mean. Well our lovely bitches giving the news lol, same thing. :P

Olly

2/10/2007 10:34:00 PM  

Blogger Sabby said...

Wrong timing for Rosie, but she didn't say anything bad about Anna anyway. About VonAnhalt's claims to have fathered Anna's daughter, how humiliating this must be for Zsa Zsa! One thing for a wife to find out her husband is cheating on her but for it to be publicized like this?

Those two boys who cooked a dog should have been whipped. As for the meal of a lifetime, I don't care even if Brad Pitt and Matthew McC are the ones serving me my meal, there's no way I'm paying $25,000 for it!

Loved the Trollop/Outlander quotation. LOL!

2/10/2007 11:26:00 PM  

Anonymous ~Andy~ said...

ROFL! Love the Trollop quote!

I was shocked when I heard about Anna. After what happened to her son, it's just horrible ...

The naked chefs are making me hungry for something more than food. LOL!

~Andy~

2/10/2007 11:38:00 PM  

Blogger Jolie said...

Jamie and Trollop??? GASP :P

I think a personalized romance novel would be a good gift for Valentine's. I'd like one with my name on it. LOL.

2/11/2007 12:08:00 AM  

Anonymous Nozomi said...

That has got to be one of the worst things Jamie has said. D: A personalized romance novel would make me laugh, but it'd be so unrealistic.

2/11/2007 12:10:00 AM  

Blogger Jolie said...

Exactly Nozomi. LOL. I would be laughing like crazy reading a book like that. I wonder if they ship in other countries... I'd really get one just for fun :P

2/11/2007 12:17:00 AM  

Blogger Lollie Rose said...

Poor Jamie, he always gets picked on by the BBs. But I totally loved the quote anyway. LOL!

I'm not sure about the personalized romance novel. That would be weird...

2/11/2007 12:22:00 AM  

Anonymous Mikal said...

Oh gad, "slippery as waterweeds" ???

I am chuckling. Giggling. I would die if someone said that to me. Actually, I'd probably giggle and totally ruin the "mood."

With that said, I wouldn't want a damn personalized romance book (aagh!) and I feel sorry for Anna Nicole's baby. And her too, but more for her child.

2/11/2007 05:25:00 AM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

Oh good god, I think I'm going to loose my lunch after reading that! *ACKKKKKK* That Jamie is a sick twisted abusive pervert!

a) who in their right mind gets horny in front of 20 men and tries to have his way with a woman who doesn't want to just because "he wont take long?" and b) sleek as a waterweed? He sure knows how to charm the pants off of an unwilling woman! LOL LOL LOL

2/11/2007 09:20:00 AM  

Anonymous Gun_Wielding_Bitch said...

$25,000 a head?!? For that the uber hot chef should be the ones eating, not me, if you catch my drift *wink* and I'm talking for a month, not one night.

WATER WEED. You slay me VT!

I hate award shows because I dont't get the voting systems and they never pick who deserves it.

2/11/2007 09:56:00 PM