Monday, November 2, 2009

A song in the daylight



A Song in the Daylight
by Paullina Simons
Format: Hardcover, 784 pages
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN-10: 0007305575
ISBN-13: 978-0007305575

Larissa Stark is a beautiful woman who plays many roles in her life: wife, mother, devoted friend. She has everything she ever wanted, until a chance encounter with a stranger changes Larissa′s idyllic existence forever, leading her to question all the things she once believed were true. Faced with impossible choices and contemplating the unthinkable, Larissa struggles with an eternal mystery: how does one woman follow a divided heart?

Spanning the upscale suburbs of New Jersey, the slums of Manila and the desolate beauty of the Australian outback, A Song in the Daylight is a story of the bonds that unite us and the desires that drive us apart.

From the author of Tully and The Bronze Horseman comes another unforgettable novel of passion and heartbreak.

Visit Paullina′s website for more info, including about her book tour in Australia and New Zealand. (Big smooches to all.)

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Thursday, October 30, 2008

And the mullet is gone, my friends...

... Thank god.

I’m looking forward to Angels and Demons more than I was to The Da Vinci Code. The book is far more entertaining and the historical aspects more engrossing. I was very lucky to be living in Rome when I first read this novel so I feel I got to “live” it in a rather real way. At the time, I became obsessed with all that included Vatican history; very educational.



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Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Barack Obama is still too immature to run for president

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I really like Barack Obama. He’s smart, handsome, stands up for what he believes in and is very politically mature for his age—yet, not mature enough to run for president of the United States let alone mature enough to be president of the United States.

I believe he has all the qualities to be a wonderful president someday but right now he lacks the experience, the maturity and, apparently, the diplomacy a leader needs:


Candidates gave varying opinions late Monday night of President Bush’s State of the Union speech, but the two who showed for the speech at the Capitol offered the most telling body language.

Democratic rivals Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama shared the same row in the House chamber and came within a foot of each other just before the president’s speech Monday night. But neither acknowledged the other as Clinton, clad in scarlet, walked toward Obama to greet Sen. Edward M. Kennedy, the liberal icon whose endorsement she had courted only to lose to Obama.

Kennedy shook her hand while Obama, wearing a dark suit and standing between the two, turned away. A doorkeeper caught between it all cringes in a photo that captures the moment.


He should have been the proverbial “bigger man” last night. He’d publically won the endorsement of the Kennedy’s which bear a lot of weight in the Democratic Party. He must have understood that was a hard blow to Hillary, and yet, she went to shake Ted Kennedy’s hand, and he, instead of using the opportunity to greet Mrs. Clinton, turns around and snubs her.

He acted like a petulant child instead of a presidential candidate. I’m pretty sure he regrets this today.

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Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Heath Ledger is dead

What a tragedy. When Trollop told me about this last night I thought she’s just being Evil Trollop and was only joking, particularly when she mentioned he was found naked with pills in whatsherface Olsen twin’s apartment. And then this thing from some “church” came up:




I’d never even heard of this Westboro Baptist Church. According to Wikipedia, it’s a group that condemns lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people, Roman Catholics, Muslims and Jews, as well as populations it believes are supporting the abovementioned groups, including Swedes, Canadians, Irish, British and Americans. They picket gay pride events and funerals, and achieved national notoriety due to its picketing of funeral processions for soldiers killed in Iraq war combat.

Ohhh, what hard-working and dedicated assholes! (I will not link or mention their website; they’ve gotten enough sordid publicity, abhorrent pigs!)

I never wish for anyone to die hanging by the balls in a public square where people took turn to beat him with bamboo sticks, but it’s hard not to when faced with the biggest group of ignorant fuckwits I have ever seen. These disgusting morons sure make Tom’s science fiction tree house church look like an amateur.

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Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Who cares about Cassie Edwards when we can have Paul Tolmé?


I was over at SBTB where they have yet another post about Cassie Edwards and the big plagiarism brouhaha thingy that’s been going on for the last couple of weeks.

Now, I don’t know who she is or what she wrote or if she plagiarized or not. *yawn* What I want to know is: Who is Paul Tolmé? Is he single? And where can I find him? LOL

I love what he wrote in reply to what was “borrowed” by CE from his article “Toughing It Out in the Badlands” to use as dialogue for her novel Shadow Bear (jayzus, this lady needs some help with her book titles):


My story (“Toughing It Out in the Badlands”) is at the center of 2008’s sexiest plagiarism scandal.

In the Internet age, every freelance writer fears that his or her words will be appropriated without compensation. First I was angry. Then I had to laugh. To see my textbook descriptions of ferrets in a bodice-ripper, as dialogue between a hunky American Indian and a lustful pioneer woman who several pages later have sex on a mossy riverbank, is the height of absurdity.

Shadow Bear feels a longing in his loins. On page 195, after several false starts to stoke the furnaces of readers, Bramlett and Shadow Bear finally get down to business. They have sex in his teepee on some animal pelts. Hungrily, their sinuous bodies rock and quake until both explode in rapturous pleasure. When the teepee flaps are rocking, don’t come a-knocking.


This about had me rolling on the floor laughing.


That is some bad dialogue. It stands out as clunky and awkward even by the standards of romance novels. That’s because Edwards didn’t write it. I did.

As a victim of plagiarism, I am left wondering how many other works of mine have been purloined? And what does Edwards owe me? Does she owe me anything, aside from an apology and maybe a free, autographed copy of her book with an “attaboy” on the passage in question? My words did not enhance her novel. They were filler. I can imagine frustrated and horny readers cursing the ferrets and skipping ahead in search of the next nipple.


We should hire this guy to write for TBB. I’d pay him with sex *wink* and food. I knew my amazing culinary skills would come in handy one day. *g*


I’m no longer angry with Edwards. In fact, I feel sorry for her. The blogosphere is buzzing with irate calls to boycott Edwards’s books and appearances. According to an interview she did with the Associated Press, she did not know she was supposed to quote source materials. Ignorance of law and ethics is no excuse, however. Plagiarism victimizes writers. It betrays the trust of readers. It tarnishes the craft of writing.

But there is another victim here that has been lost in the discussion: the ferrets.


It’s official: I’m in luurrve! This man is smart, kind, forgiving, funny, sarcastic and freaking hot.

Do you guys think I’d scare him by emailing, and pledging my undying love to him, with an attached naked picture of myself? Maybe I could dress as a sexy ferret; that would surely get his attention!

**Editing to add a small note: People, give this CE thing a fucking rest already. Come on, let’s move on to the next person Romance Land will trash, bash, flame and make online life a living hell for. Are the movers and shakers getting slow or running out of material (if we were only so lucky LOL)?

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Saturday, November 17, 2007

Guilty! Er, for writing poetry?


Can writing poetry be considered a terrorist act?

Samina Malik, the 23-year-old “Lyrical Terrorist”, is the first woman ever to be convicted under the Terrorism Act. What did she do? Well, she downloaded some documents from terrorist websites and then *gasp*:


Malik went all Web 2.0 and posted poems—terrible, terrible poems—on various websites. That’s about the extent of her terrorist activity. But never fear. The judge and prosecutors went the extra mile to give her a notoriety that her very, very bad poetry and infantile fantasies about being a terrorist really don’t warrant.


I too will go a weeeee bit further and say Malik’s poems are very, very terrible and she is a verra, verra, VERRA bad poet. Aye. Just look at some of her poems:


The Living Martyrs, said: “Let us make Jihad/ Move to the front line/ To chop chop head of kuffar swine”.

A second poem was called How to Behead. “It’s not as messy or as hard as some may think/ It’s all about the flow of the wrist,” it read.


Sheesh. And I thought Brit Brit’s “I’m just the girl with the ability to drive a man crazy/ Make him come in my mouth/ Make him my new baby” was bad.

You heathens know I have a thing for poets so you can say I’m a little biased but seriously, dude, poetry is a terroristic act? Me thinks everyone not loopy will say NO, no matter how “very, very bad” the poem is.


If she’d stuck to the style of Tupac Shakur, writing in a crop top and jeans rather than a hijab, none of this would have happened, of course, no matter how eerily similar the poetry would have been.


Whatever. This Malik chick is just a dumb poet. Why can’t people just be dumb poets anymore? They had to be Lyrical Terrorists! Look at Brit Brit. She maybe a crazy fuck but she’s only a dumb poet so no one’s putting her in jail. :/


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Monday, October 29, 2007

Teacher accused of fondling teenage girl

I thought only gay teachers/headmasters/principals did such despicable things. Guess I might be wrong. We’ll have to wait and see as there’s no mention of this woman’s sexual preferences in any of the articles I’ve read. But as Americans are so homophobic, I’m deducing that had there been any insinuations of the teacher in question being gay, it would’ve been all over the headlines already.

We’ll see how this turns out....


Winfrey had tears in her eyes as she asked parents to forgive her for alleged abuse at her girls’ school here. “I’ve disappointed you. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry,” Oprah told parents at an emergency meeting in a packed marquee tent on the school premises.

The TV talk-show queen has visited her school at Henley-on-Klip near Vereeniging at least twice in the past few weeks, after allegations that one of the matrons fondled a girl and that other pupils had been physically abused.

Oprah gave the girls her personal telephone number, her e-mail address and her postal address so that they could contact her at any time, day or night.

Apart from the matron apparently involved, Oprah sent the principal, a Dr Mzimane, and at least one other matron on leave two weeks ago.

A parent told Rapport on Saturday evening that the abuse had visibly upset Oprah. She had felt guilty because she had trusted the principal and the matron.

“I trusted her (Dr Mzimane). When I appointed her, I thought she was passionate about the children of Africa. “But, I’ve been disappointed,” Oprah said in tears last Saturday.

Oprah’s “daughters” have accused Dr. Mzimane of failing to take action, although the girls had often complained of being grabbed by the neck, beaten and thrown against a wall, and being sworn at.

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Saturday, September 8, 2007

Bitchin' News (09/08)

I miss our “Bitchin’ News” section. Trollop said she’ll try to do it every weekend. (HOLD HER TO HER WORD!) As I type this, she’s out eating some raw fish or gad-knows what vile thing *shudder* so in the meantime, you’re stuck with me and what I deem newsworthy.
  • Verdi’s “Ave Maria” wafted through Modena’s cathedral on Saturday as the world bade farewell to Luciano Pavarotti with a funeral close to his classical roots.

  • Author Madeleine L’Engle, whose novel A Wrinkle in Time has captivated generations of schoolchildren and adults since the 1960s, has died. -*sigh* First Pavarotti, then Sir Butter-Beep (my trusty first evah BOB *sniff*), now her. I feel like genius is slowly leaving planet Earth and all we’re gonna be left with is the litter of Paris Hilton. Xenu forbid!

  • A marijuana dealer telephoned police after armed thieves stole his quarter-pound stash of pot. –*ring*ring* Hello, Mr. Policeman! *gasp* That is the same dumbass who tried to take me to court for being “such a Harlot and stealing his heart” and then had the gall to demand I marry him as payment for damages! What a jackass, I tell ya!
  • Madeleine McCann’s parents named suspects. –Remember this missing British girl? Her parents run an international campaign—with the help of celebrities like J.K. Rowling and David Beckham that raised $2 million funds(!)—to find her. Sheesh. Is this what I have to do to be JKR&Becks’-BFF-slash-instant-millionaire?

  • U.S. Rep. Jim Sensenbrenner, already a millionaire and heir to the Kimberly-Clark fortune, hit it big in 1997 with a $250,000 jackpot in the District of Columbia lottery. Then, last spring, he won $1,000 prize in the Wisconsin lottery, and he won another $1,000 in that lottery last week. –Jeyzuz! Congressman, give us wee folks a chance! When am *I* going to win the lottery? My future pritti villa in Italy full of oh-so-lickable Italian studmuffins are waiting for me, ya know. *sob*

  • Consumers, not just factory workers, may be in danger from fumes from buttery flavoring in microwave popcorn. -Those who like microwave popcorn, READ THIS! Apparently its fumes can cause lung disease. Oh, fuck. What about my favorite microwave canned corn with cheese? :/

  • In October, the online retailer Amazon.com will unveil the Kindle, an electronic book reader that has been the subject of industry speculation for a year. The Kindle will be priced at $400 to $500 and will wirelessly connect to an e-book store on Amazon’s site. Also this fall, Google plans to start charging users for full online access to the digital copies of some books in its database. -Am I the only one who thinks this Kindle is a fug monster? It looks like some hideous apparatus they’d used to torture people in the 80’s... Then again, I suppose it has its appeal. Who in his RIGHT mind would steal such ugliness??? But hey, I’m a shallow fuck who nicked my sister’s iPod because it’s soooo cute! Hee. :P


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Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Post-birthday post with bitchin' news

I’m sad to report that nothing bitchingly bravura happened yesterday for my birthday. (Of course that doesn’t include dreams of my Raoul shagging me senseless till I’m cross-eyed with bliss. ;)) No piña colada-serving hottie for me to ogle, no nekkid studmuffin with a red bow tied on his neck waiting for me to open my gifts either. (The injustice! *sniffles*) I didn’t even see the Perseid meteor shower—and to think it’s supposed to announce my glorious existence in this world... *long suffering sigh*

Yaknow, I think I actually like my birthday last year, especially when I remember how Trollop tried to send me a cheesecake (WITH BDAY ICING, for gadssake). Unfortunately (for her—it’s unending delight for meee! :D), the woman she spoke with on the phone didn’t understand her too foreign accent, hee. It’s a long story that involves the bakeshop’s staff passing around the phone, Nutella, Trollop’s credit card, Trollop screaming and... well, let’s just say when I found out about it I almost died of laughter. *mwahahaha*

Anyhoodles, I have tons of book related news that’s gonna be boring if posted individually yet informative enough not to be discarded. Besides, I miss our “Bitchin’ News” section so here goes *g*:
  • Stephen King, who wrote a moving pre-7/21 goodbye letter to the end of the Harry Potter series, *sniff* takes a spoiler-filled look back at HP7 and reflects on why no review did it justice, and whether kids (and their grown-ups) will ever read the same way again.
  • First Lady Laura Bush and daughter Jenna are writing a children’s book about a mischievous boy who likes to do everything but read. Hopefully, this boy at least knows the old saying in Tennessee—I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee—that says, fool me once, shame on—shame on you. Fool me—you can’t get fooled again. Er... you know what I mean. :/
  • Ever wondered which author has Trollop’s chicken-scratched penmanship? :P Check out this collection of author autographs.
  • BBC is developing a *gasp* $50 million live-action adaptation of Rudyard Kipling’s The Jungle Book. Goodness me, are they going to dress Mowgli with diamond studded g-string or something?
  • Loved Khaled Hosseini’s The Kite Runner? Here’s the trailer for the upcoming film adaptation:

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Saturday, February 10, 2007

Bitchin' News (02/10)

  • Senator Barack Obama plans to formally announce his candidacy for president Saturday.
  • Smith’s death unexplained after autopsy. Anna Nicole Smith does not appear to be a victim of foul play, according to preliminary results of an autopsy performed Friday. -Did you see Rosie talking about Anna hours before she died? What about Prince Von Anhalt (Zsa Zsa Gabor’s hubby) claiming he might be the father of Anna’s baby? Goodness, this is turning into a Spanish telenovela. Next thing we know there’s an evil twin sister involved... Poor Anna, may she rest in peace.
  • The 49th Grammy Awards will take place live on Sunday, Feb. 11, at Staples Center in Los Angeles and will be broadcast in HDTV and 5.1 Surround Sound on the CBS Television Network at 8 p.m. (ET/PT). For a complete list of nominees, click here. -Geesh, the Grammys’ voting grandpas are always out of date. Take James Blunt’s “You’re Beautiful” (the most inaptly wedding song EVAH) as an example; why the fuck it’s nominated this year is beyond me. Pretty sure it came out the year I graduated from high school. :/ This is why even if Justin Timberlake brought sexy back, *snort* I doubt his “FutureSex/LoveSounds” would win Album of the Year. Um, maybe on 2009?
  • Two teenage brothers each were sentenced to 10 years in prison for torturing a puppy by cooking it in an oven. -When I discovered my sisters’ plan to torture me by getting a dog, (not a puppy but a bloody DAWG; honestly, how could they do THAT to me?!!) I had a fucking panic attack. (I still hyperventilate whenever I think about it. *sniff*) I know full well I’d DIE when it arrives—either death by asphyxiation or the damn thing would sick on my pretty throat. Neither option is appealing to me; as you can see, I take death verra seriously! But, would I do that? Hmmm... that’d take care of the dog... er, of course not! Despite what you hear, I’m not THAT evil, you sick sick vile minds!
  • Bangkok, Thailand—It’s been billed as the “meal of a lifetime,” a 10-course dinner concocted by world-renowned chefs for the most discriminating palates and—at $25,000 a head—the fattest wallets. -$25,000 for a meal? WTF? What kind of foods do they serve anyhow? Imperial beluga caviar and belon oysters with the most amazing foreplay serve *ahem* by uber yummilicious naked chefs? :P I better get at least a thousand crème brulee of mind-blowing orgasms that will fly me to the moon as my dessert after that! LOL
  • Canada-based Books By You says it sells thousands of personalized romance novels each year with titles such as ER Fever and Pirates of Desire, where the reader is the star. It is not Bronte, but customers are going crazy for the novels that make them the main characters. -Oh, my good god. *groan* I already hate Valentine’s Day enough without gifts like this. Though... I guess it’ll be fun to read something like:

    “Jamie! Not here!” Trollop said, squirming away and pushing her skirt down again.

    “Are you tired, my Vicious?” he asked with concern. “Dinna worry, I won’t take long.” Now both hands were at it, rucking the heavy fabric up in front.

    “No!” Trollop replied, all too mindful of the twenty men lying a few feet away. “I’m not tired, it’s just—” She gasped as his groping hand found its way between her legs.

    “Lord,” he said softly. “It’s slippery as waterweed.” (TEE HEE)

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Saturday, January 20, 2007

Bitchin' News (01/20)

  • Philanderers beware: spouses caught cheating in Michigan could end up spending the rest of their life in prison. -Life? As much as I DETEST cheating, isn’t that a bit too much? I suggest we should just castrate the cheating bastard and feed him his rotting balls; more effective and satisfying, if I may say so myself!
  • Hillary Clinton launches White House bid: “I’m in.” Sen. Hillary Clinton jumped into the fray as a 2008 presidential candidate with the words “I’m in” posted on her web site. “And I’m in to win.” -I must admit I don’t follow American politics (my country has enough of jackasses to put up with), but mi Trollop lurves this woman—only a bit less than her very fuckable hubby.
  • Three of Bush’s quotes, led by his “I’m the Decider” remark in April, head 2006’s most notable quotations compiled by Fred R. Shapiro, editor of the Yale Book of Quotations. The “decider” quote was also named “Bushism” of the year by the Global Language Monitor, which issues a list of best George Bush quotes each year. The monitor’s Paul JJ Payack said no. 2 on that list was “I use The Google.” -Er, The Decider uses The Google? *confused*
  • Oprah’s Book Club is back! A new Oprah Winfrey book club pick, her first in more than a year, will be revealed next week. -As much as I respect Her Almighty O, some of her book choices are questionable to me. Well, they’re too fucking depressing, for fuck’s sakes! But hey, whoever the lucky author of the book is, muy congrats; he/she will be a gazillionaire. O’s fans will buy/read “Mein Kampf” if she declares it her next book club pick LOL.
  • The season-opening episodes of American Idol are notorious for their auditions by untalented performers and the catty comments of the judges, particularly Simon Cowell, whose one-liners have been known to deflate the most confident of hopefuls. “Your dancing is terrible, the singing was horrendous, and you look like one of those creatures that live in the jungle with those massive eyes,” Mr. Cowell added. “What are they called? Bush baby.” -I gasped when I heard the “bush baby” bit (it was uncalled for) and then... I laughed my ass off. LOL What? Oh, tell me you didn’t laugh! Honestly... Liar, liar, pants on fire... :P
  • Gray area: How will Grey’s Anatomy fix the damage? -After Isaiah Washington repeatedly lied, he finally issued an apology for referring to his gay costar T.R. Knight as a “little faggot.” Of course, this all happened after GLAAD and ABC threatened to end his career. Better late than never, huh, Dr. Burke? Riiiiiight...
  • A Colombian woman called Darling has been told she cannot become a Spanish citizen because her name is unacceptable. -So, if Trollop actually gets it into her head to be a Spanish citizen, she has to pick a saint’s name to be approved? Oh, babe! Please, please, don’t be Santa Viciosa!!!
  • Forget chocolates or roses this Valentine’s Day—a gift of musical condoms is bound to be more entertaining. -WTF? First a musical BOB, now a musical condom? Er, are these subtle hints for men to make their cocks sing? ... I guess music = vibration = more orgasms... *gasp* Oh my goodness, I say, yes yes YES, Pavarotti Penises! :D

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Monday, July 17, 2006

Bitchin' News (07/17)

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Monday, May 15, 2006

Bitchin' News (05/15)

  • How about a little relaxation with your robbery? Burglar puts the touch on his victim: man ties up woman, takes cash, massages her shoulders.
  • Alligator that killed jogger is captured. A four-day hunt for an alligator that killed a jogger in Florida reached a grisly climax when trappers captured the reptile with the victim’s arms still in its stomach. -I just showed this to Harlot, and this is what that conceited, shallow bitch had to say: “I’d rather be shot or whacked in the head with a HUGE mallet than be eaten alive. Oh wait, NO! Forget the mallet, I want to die pretty!” Babe, we’re talking about dying here, not prom. I doubt looking pretty will be much help once you’re dead LOL.
  • Depp, Clooney, best at signing fan autographs. Many stars become bad signers once fame and fortune hits, but not Depp. He’s even signed autographs for crowds at the airport while carrying luggage. As for Clooney, he’ll joke as he signs, and make fun of how he looks in photos he’s handed to autograph. -How can anyone NOT love them? *sigh* Never been a threesome kind of person, but would surely love a Depp-Trollop-Clooney roll in the hay. *wink*
  • Religious row fuels global Da Vinci Code social phenomenon. As Christian churches launch theological attacks on the movie, Dan Brown’s best-selling novel is still flying off shelves and generating furious debate across the world as its opponents brand it blasphemous and even “satanic.” -Please, please, please get a fucking life, you religious freaks! I DO NOT WANT TO BE SAVED, LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. Jesus, this stuff really gets to me. Can you tell? LOL
  • Pastor charged in spanking of girl claiming abuse. An Elgin pastor for two months regularly spanked a 13-year-old girl with a wooden stick to punish her for claiming she had been sexually abused by a relative. -Perhaps the religious freaks from above should be more concerned about stuff like this than a stupid movie or a Harry Potter book!
  • This week in entertainment. It’s now time to say goodbye to Will, Grace, Jack and Karen in a season finale full of turbo-charged repartee. Will & Grace is going off the air after 196 episodes. It seems like only yesterday they started insulting each other. (NBC, Thursday, 8 p.m.) -I will honestly miss this show, and all the laughter it’s brought into my otherwise boring Thursday nights. And so, all the reasons I used to glue myself in front of NBC’s “must watch TV” are now gone. “Seinfeld,” ”Friends” and now “Will & Grace.” Only “ER” is left, and gad, that’s become bad!

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006

Bitchin' News (05/02)

  • Anna Nicole Smith wins right to fight for half husband’s fortune; high court ruling gives ex-dancer better odds in case. All nine Supreme Court justices sided with former Playboy centerfold Anna Nicole Smith on Monday and ruled she can continue to fight for a share of late husband’s huge estate. -Geesh, I’ve no luck. Where was I when this old senile idiot was giving out all that money to women with huge tits? Mine aren’t that big but they’re breastspectacular LOL. Surely I would have gotten at least a million or two for them! There is no justice in this world. *sob*
  • Google is fuming that Microsoft has included its MSN search engine in its new version of IE. The new version of the browser, which is currently in Beta, includes a search box in the upper-right corner which is set up to send users to Microsoft’s MSN search service. Google claims this puts Vole in an unfair position to grab web traffic and advertising dollars which should be heading its way. -Tsk, tsk, tsk. Microsoft seems to be a wee bit selfish and a lot stupid LOL. Surely there is a law against stuff like this! Oh, wait, I think they’ve already been prosecuted for it. *gasp* You’d think they’d learned their lesson by now!
  • Rarely has a film, however critically praised, promised so much agony for viewers. United 93 is 106 minutes of unrelenting pain with few precedents in cinematic history. And it raises questions about why we go to movies in the first place: Is it to be entertained? To be educated?
  • Heather Veitch, a tall, shapely blonde, made a career out of baring it all at strip clubs. Now when she walks in a club, it is just to deliver her naked truth about God. -Doesn’t everyone love these strippers turned to nuns stories? LOL Or is it just me?
  • Which blockbusters will soar, and which will prove box-office kryptonite? Blockbusters bound into theaters in May with appearances from the X-Men’s Wolverine, Mission: Impossible’s Ethan Hunt and The Da Vinci Code’s Robert Langdon—also known as Hugh Jackman, Tom Cruise and Tom Hanks. And let’s not forget a brand-new Superman in June in the guise of newcomer Brandon Routh. -BTW, saw “V for Vendetta” this weekend and really, really liked it! Looking forward to “The Da Vinci Code.” The book was ok, but the movie looks like it will be very good. We’ll see.
  • A Pakistani couple was released Saturday after serving five years in jail for adultery, their only crime having been to fall in love and get married. -I’m all against marriage, but this is taking it a tad too far! LOL
  • Clooney makes Time “most influential” list. Entertainers and world leaders share space on magazine’s top 100. -He’s surely influenced my sexual fantasies. *wink*
  • A new television reality show invites porn stars to test their serious acting abilities in London’s theater district, raising the question: Debbie can do Dallas, but can she take on Chekhov’s The Cherry Orchard? -Harlot, I think the auditions for this reality TV show are still open. Hurry, you might still make it! LOL

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Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Bitchin' News (04/12)

  • Political reversals at home and continued bad news from Iraq have dragged President Bush’s standing with the public to a new low. The survey found that 38 percent of the public approve of the job Bush is doing, down 3 percentage points in the past month and his worst showing in Post-ABC polling since he became president. Sixty percent disapprove of his performance. -Well, that’s a shock. *gasp* Funny though, I bet if he ran again tomorrow, he’d win again. Go figure.
  • Hillary Calls Bush’s intel leak Nixonesque. While the President defended his decision to authorize the disclosure of pre-war intelligence, Senator Clinton invoked another President’s name in decrying it. -I lub this woman!!! Of course I love her handsome/sexy/incredibly adorable hubby even more. *wink*
  • Village People “cop” arrested again. Former ’70s band member will face trial on drug-related charges. -I guess he likes going to prison; you know what they say happens to cops there. I’m guessing this “Village People” dude is more than happy to take a lil’ vacation in the can. After all, he might find himself a sailor or an Indian willing to play hide the salami with him LOL.
  • Why is CBS changing the time slot and now the day of The Amazing Race? Why do the higher-ups keep trying to fix something that isn’t broken? -Was wondering the same thing myself, here’s the answer.
  • Million-dollar men are so passe, especially if you’re Kiefer Sutherland and you’re commanding MLB-size contracts to the tune of $40 million to keep your character, Jack Bauer, alive for three more seasons in the weekly Fox real-time addiction, 24. -My BF is completely obsessed with this series. He’d rather watch an episode than have sex! I have to find out what all the fuzz is about—especially if it can compare to a mind-blowing orgasm. I’ll try to rent the first season this weekend, and get back to you guys about it.
  • For women bored at the thought of this summer’s World Cup soccer finals in Germany, neighbor Switzerland is offering an alternative packed with beefcake. -Mmmm, suddenly having a soccer obsessed BF is starting to bare it’s fruits LOL.
  • Sri Lanka’s most celebrated elephant, Raja, has fallen ill after eating scores of cookies, chocolates and other rich food offered to him as part of Buddhist new year celebrations. -How sick is it that I’m jealous of all the yummy food this elephant got? *sniff* No one ever feeds me like that!
  • U.S. optometry doctors urge contact lens wearers to take proper precautions to prevent a severe corneal fungal infection, which has been linked to the use of a Bausch & Lomb Inc’s brand cleansing solution. -A must read for contact lense users!!!
  • Health officials have ruled out the abortion pill RU486 as the cause of death for one of two women who died after taking the drug. -I had no idea there was even an abortion pill out in the market! When did this happen? And, please, no one answer that this was approved sometime last decade—that might be a tad more embarrassing than I can handle at the moment LOL.
  • A dangerous infection that pigs can pass to people took an unusually fatal form last year and killed 38 people, Chinese scientists reported on Monday. -First the “mad cow,” then the “bird flu”—and now the “dirty pig”? What’s next, the “horny rabbit”?

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Monday, March 20, 2006

Bitchin' News (03/20)

  • Audiences were in a rebellious mood, lifting the action tale V for Vendetta to the top spot at the weekend box office with a $26.1 million debut. V for Vendetta was adapted by Andy and Larry Wachowski, creators of The Matrix franchise, from a graphic novel about a masked freedom fighter battling British fascism in the near future. The film was produced by Joel Silver, who also made The Matrix flicks, and directed by James McTeigue, a protege of the Wachowski brothers. -I have no desire to watch this movie at all. But who knows; if I find myself with nothing else to do, and it’s showing, I might check it out. Another thing, I HATE those “s is for stupid,” “f is for finger fucking” books. I think the author could be a bit more creative and get herself some real titles.
  • Before cops threw the book at him, Jakub Fik threw something unusual at them—his penis. Fik, 33, cut off his own penis during a Northwest Side rampage Wednesday morning. When confronted by police, Fik hurled several knives and his severed organ at the officers, police said. Officers stunned him with a Taser and took him into custody. -My guess is they found him treating his body like an amusement park, and he thought the hard blunt object would knock at least one cop out.
  • There’s a little bit of everything in our spring fiction roundup—novice novelists as well as those who’ve been around the bookcase and back, books that make you laugh and those that put a giant lump in your throat. Need the one-minute rundown? Standouts this season: Ali Smith’s The Accidental and Gentlemen and Players, by Chocolat author Joanne Harris. Books to skim or skip: Ayelet Waldman’s Love and Other Impossible Pursuits and Paul Auster’s The Brooklyn Follies. -Some interesting reads coming this spring. The list is, as always, lacking books in women’s fiction, chick lit and romance.
  • The third anniversary of the US-led invasion of Iraq was marked this weekend with two days of anti-war marches and rallies across the world, including the first co-ordinated demonstrations in the US, Britain and Iraq. -When will Bush put an end to this?
  • Tom Cruise has a new “Mission” coming out soon, but right now, he’s also get a new controversy on his hands. The question at hand is, did Tom threaten to derail his own movie in order to have a Scientology spoof taken off the air? Sparking the controversy—an old episode of the Comedy Central cartoon South Park, which pokes fun at Scientology and targets Cruise. -Tom, get a life, please. It’s not like if they don’t air that episode, everyone will be dying to join your cult. I think you’ve pretty much killed any desire a sane person would have to join your science fiction tree house church.
  • Is sex far too overrated? Yes, says a reader who gets more of a charge from hiking.

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Monday, February 27, 2006

Bitchin' News (02/27)

  • Switzerland confirmed on Sunday its first case of avian flu in a duck found dead in the heart of Geneva, near the city’s famous jet d’eau fountain. -Bawdy has me scared silly with this bird flu thing, and now it’s getting closer!!! I’m going to have to become a Mormon. I mean, according to Bawdy, they’re the ones prepared to go into hidding for years and still not run out of food.
  • America’s 10 biggest busts of Olympics; Bode, Weir, Kwan just few of many U.S. disappointments in Turin. -I saw Bode’s last race on Saturday night, and the interview that followed it, and this guy has got to get his priorities straight. Partying is all good and fun, but honestly, did he have to do it for the whole two weeks non-stop? You’d think he’d never been allowed outside his house before these games. What bothers me the most is that he doesn’t realize that his responsibilities were not only to himself, but to his fans, and most importantly, to his country as well. This Olympic hottie has a lot of maturing to do, if he comes my way I’ll help him out. *wink*
  • The Apprentice is getting old. It’s about to start its fifth season—as American Idol just did—but unlike that show, its momentum has not been building. Sliding ratings and decreasing buzz showed no signs of improvement last fall. -This is one of the only shows I still watch, but have to admit it is getting a bit boring.
  • A former fifth-grade teacher accused of having sex with her 11-year-old student was ordered held on $100,000 bond Saturday. Schweikert was arrested Friday on two counts of criminal sexual conduct with a minor after the boy’s mother accused the teacher of having sex with him at school at least twice, said Laurens Police Chief Robin Morse. -I have NEVER gotten this. Why on earth would any woman in her right mind want to have sex with a little boy? Can eleven-year-old boys even have sex?!? Honestly, how sick can you be!
  • Britain’s match against the United States for the men’s curling bronze medal was interrupted on Friday when a male streaker ran across the ice. With poultry for a loin cloth, the man vaulted the barriers and danced up and down the side of the ice sheet for several minutes before being bundled away by bemused rink attendants. -I lub streaker stories. Maybe I should become a professional streaker. Mmmm, something to ponder during class tomorrow...
  • A Colombian man has been sentenced to four years’ house arrest for slapping a woman’s bottom as he rode by her on his bicycle, sparking debate on whether the punishment fit the crime. -Around five years ago, while walking down a street a guy opened the door to his car to show me that he was wanking off. Euwww, sick perv. Anyway had I lived in Colombia this guy would probably be on Death Row now LOL. Honestly, this punishment seems a tad out of hand—don’t you guys think?

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Friday, February 24, 2006

Bitchin' News (02/24)

  • Teen guilty of killing, dismembering classmate. Illinois girl, 16, was choked, burned, beaten, sawed up, and hidden in two counties after argument over boys. -You see, Harlot, this is what happens when girls argue over boys. Do you still want to fight me over Matt? HUH? I suggest you think about twice LOL. But seriously, this is very sad. The girl that did this cannot possibly be mentally healthy.
  • James Frey, who admitted last month he made up much of his best-selling memoir A Million Little Pieces, has been dropped by his publisher, Riverhead Books. -Wow, poor Frey. But you know how it goes, Oprah giveth, Oprah taketh. Others will think twice before trying to fool this daytime goddess again!
  • A man accused of fatally beating his roommate with a sledgehammer and a claw hammer because there was no toilet paper in their home has been arrested. prosecutors say victim beaten so badly he had to be ID’d by fingerprints. -Huh? This can’t be true. Honestly who would do such a thing? How could toilet paper be THAT important to a person? *very confused*
  • The promise of an easy million bucks, a stage crowded with sexy models and the smoothly calibrated charm of host Howie Mandel made Deal or No Deal an unexpected hit in television’s December dead zone. Now the NBC game show, returning 8 p.m. ET Monday for five consecutive days, is getting the chance to prove it’s the real deal and can compete in the thick of the TV season. -I really liked this show. I hope it gets the ratings it needs to stick. Fun and relaxing to watch; no real concentration needed LOL.
  • Cohen again fails to live up to expectations. The porcelain doll cracked. She fell. And then fell again. Like so much else in these Olympics, Cohen failed to deliver on her potential and promise. Though America’s best gold medal hope recovered her poise, gathered herself together and ultimately had the silver medal slipped around her slender neck. -I felt really bad for Sasha, but even worse for Irina. I mean, she has the saddest of sad stories, with her mom dying and her skating defying an illness. *sad*

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Monday, January 30, 2006

Bitchin' News (01/30)

  • The Super Bowl’s Greatest Commercials offers a Top-40 countdown Saturday at 8 p.m. on CBS. In between this year’s best ads, the Seattle Seahawks and Pittsburgh Steelers play Super Bowl XL, starting Sunday at 6 p.m. on ABC.
  • Director Steven Spielberg has said US film-makers are more politically vocal since President George Bush was voted back into office in 2004. Spielberg, whose film Munich deals with the killing of Israeli athletes at the 1972 Olympics, said directors were “trying to declare their independence.” “No-one is really representing us, so we’re now representing our own feelings and trying to strike back,” he said.
  • As if the close proximity of delicious, fattening foods weren’t bad enough, obesity might actually be infectious. That’s the incredulous finding from new research involving overweight chickens; the study suggests that a contagious virus can make fat cells fatter.
  • Criminals taking tips from TV crime shows; prosecutors say CSI, similar programs teach people how to conceal crimes. “They’re actually educating these potential killers even more,” said Capt. Ray Peavy, also of the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department and head of the homicide division. “Sometimes I believe it may even encourage them when they see how simple it is to get away with on television.”
  • Tom Cruise gets nod for worst acting in ’05; War of the Worlds role scores Razzie nomination. Tom Cruise may have survived a Martian attack in last year’s remake of War of the Worlds, but he has failed to elude Hollywood’s movie police. Cruise will compete for the year’s worst actor award with Will Ferrell (Bewitched, Kicking & Screaming), Jamie Kennedy (Son of the Mask), Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson (Doom) and Rob Schneider (Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo).
  • When it comes to romance, women prefer someone who tickles their funny bone while men opt for those who catch their eye, according to an international survey released on Wednesday. The survey, conducted in 16 countries by Canadian romance publisher Harlequin Enterprises, asked men and women on six continents about traits they liked or disliked and how they went about trying to meet Mr. or Ms. Right.

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Monday, January 23, 2006

Bitchin' News (01/23)

  • Rescue charity workers who battled in vain to save a whale found swimming up the River Thames are now facing a bill of more than £300 in parking fines. -I sure hope these evil rescue workers learned their lesson. I bet the next time they have the urge to save a whale they’ll think about it twice!
  • An adviser to President Bush said Monday that Bush’s photographs in the company of disgraced lobbyist Jack Abramoff amount to a coincidence and shouldn’t be interpreted any more seriously than that. -This doesn’t even deserve a comment.
  • Marijuana growers gathered in Europe’s pot-smoking capital on Sunday for a trade show that is taking on the trappings of a major industry fair, complete with scantily clad models, glossy brochures and, of course, samples. Exhibitors showed off their bongs, grinders, rolling paper, reflective film, hemp-fabric apparel and how-to marijuana growing videos. -Er, am I the only one that thinks this is getting a tad out of hand? Samples, brochures, models???
  • From the waist up, they looked like perfectly normal commuters. That wasn’t good enough for police. Eight pranksters who dropped their pants and showed their underwear on the subway on Sunday were taken into custody and issued summonses for disorderly conduct. -See, they never tell us the important stuff in these articles. What I really want to know is a) were these guys hot? and b) briefs, boxers or commando?
  • It has come to the attention of The Book Bitches that their article ideas are being stolen and/or copied from their very popular blog by other Bitches. Their publicist released a statement Sunday evening, in which she explains that: “The Book Bitches are very flattered that another site is taking the time to plagiarize their articles, but they would very much appreciate it if said website mentioned them SOMEWHERE in these posts, instead of shamelessly stealing their stuff/ideas and then passing them off as their own.”

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