- Verdi’s “Ave Maria” wafted through Modena’s cathedral on Saturday as the world bade farewell to Luciano Pavarotti with a funeral close to his classical roots.
- Author Madeleine L’Engle, whose novel A Wrinkle in Time has captivated generations of schoolchildren and adults since the 1960s, has died. -*sigh* First Pavarotti, then Sir Butter-Beep (my trusty first evah BOB *sniff*), now her. I feel like genius is slowly leaving planet Earth and all we’re gonna be left with is the litter of Paris Hilton. Xenu forbid!
- A marijuana dealer telephoned police after armed thieves stole his quarter-pound stash of pot. –*ring*ring* Hello, Mr. Policeman! *gasp* That is the same dumbass who tried to take me to court for being “such a Harlot and stealing his heart” and then had the gall to demand I marry him as payment for damages! What a jackass, I tell ya!
- Madeleine McCann’s parents named suspects. –Remember this missing British girl? Her parents run an international campaign—with the help of celebrities like J.K. Rowling and David Beckham that raised $2 million funds(!)—to find her. Sheesh. Is this what I have to do to be JKR&Becks’-BFF-slash-instant-millionaire?
- U.S. Rep. Jim Sensenbrenner, already a millionaire and heir to the Kimberly-Clark fortune, hit it big in 1997 with a $250,000 jackpot in the District of Columbia lottery. Then, last spring, he won $1,000 prize in the Wisconsin lottery, and he won another $1,000 in that lottery last week. –Jeyzuz! Congressman, give us wee folks a chance! When am *I* going to win the lottery? My future pritti villa in Italy full of oh-so-lickable Italian studmuffins are waiting for me, ya know. *sob*
- Consumers, not just factory workers, may be in danger from fumes from buttery flavoring in microwave popcorn. -Those who like microwave popcorn, READ THIS! Apparently its fumes can cause lung disease. Oh, fuck. What about my favorite microwave canned corn with cheese? :/
- In October, the online retailer Amazon.com will unveil the Kindle, an electronic book reader that has been the subject of industry speculation for a year. The Kindle will be priced at $400 to $500 and will wirelessly connect to an e-book store on Amazon’s site. Also this fall, Google plans to start charging users for full online access to the digital copies of some books in its database. -Am I the only one who thinks this Kindle is a fug monster? It looks like some hideous apparatus they’d used to torture people in the 80’s... Then again, I suppose it has its appeal. Who in his RIGHT mind would steal such ugliness??? But hey, I’m a shallow fuck who nicked my sister’s iPod because it’s soooo cute! Hee. :P
Labels: bitchin’ news