Saturday, January 20, 2007

Bitchin' News (01/20)

  • Philanderers beware: spouses caught cheating in Michigan could end up spending the rest of their life in prison. -Life? As much as I DETEST cheating, isn’t that a bit too much? I suggest we should just castrate the cheating bastard and feed him his rotting balls; more effective and satisfying, if I may say so myself!
  • Hillary Clinton launches White House bid: “I’m in.” Sen. Hillary Clinton jumped into the fray as a 2008 presidential candidate with the words “I’m in” posted on her web site. “And I’m in to win.” -I must admit I don’t follow American politics (my country has enough of jackasses to put up with), but mi Trollop lurves this woman—only a bit less than her very fuckable hubby.
  • Three of Bush’s quotes, led by his “I’m the Decider” remark in April, head 2006’s most notable quotations compiled by Fred R. Shapiro, editor of the Yale Book of Quotations. The “decider” quote was also named “Bushism” of the year by the Global Language Monitor, which issues a list of best George Bush quotes each year. The monitor’s Paul JJ Payack said no. 2 on that list was “I use The Google.” -Er, The Decider uses The Google? *confused*
  • Oprah’s Book Club is back! A new Oprah Winfrey book club pick, her first in more than a year, will be revealed next week. -As much as I respect Her Almighty O, some of her book choices are questionable to me. Well, they’re too fucking depressing, for fuck’s sakes! But hey, whoever the lucky author of the book is, muy congrats; he/she will be a gazillionaire. O’s fans will buy/read “Mein Kampf” if she declares it her next book club pick LOL.
  • The season-opening episodes of American Idol are notorious for their auditions by untalented performers and the catty comments of the judges, particularly Simon Cowell, whose one-liners have been known to deflate the most confident of hopefuls. “Your dancing is terrible, the singing was horrendous, and you look like one of those creatures that live in the jungle with those massive eyes,” Mr. Cowell added. “What are they called? Bush baby.” -I gasped when I heard the “bush baby” bit (it was uncalled for) and then... I laughed my ass off. LOL What? Oh, tell me you didn’t laugh! Honestly... Liar, liar, pants on fire... :P
  • Gray area: How will Grey’s Anatomy fix the damage? -After Isaiah Washington repeatedly lied, he finally issued an apology for referring to his gay costar T.R. Knight as a “little faggot.” Of course, this all happened after GLAAD and ABC threatened to end his career. Better late than never, huh, Dr. Burke? Riiiiiight...
  • A Colombian woman called Darling has been told she cannot become a Spanish citizen because her name is unacceptable. -So, if Trollop actually gets it into her head to be a Spanish citizen, she has to pick a saint’s name to be approved? Oh, babe! Please, please, don’t be Santa Viciosa!!!
  • Forget chocolates or roses this Valentine’s Day—a gift of musical condoms is bound to be more entertaining. -WTF? First a musical BOB, now a musical condom? Er, are these subtle hints for men to make their cocks sing? ... I guess music = vibration = more orgasms... *gasp* Oh my goodness, I say, yes yes YES, Pavarotti Penises! :D

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20 comment(s):

Blogger Menchie said...

Harlot, you are just too hilarious! Loved your commentary! Yeah, Simon was in top form!

1/20/2007 12:55:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bush Babies...HAHAHAHA! That's hilarious!

-Marie

1/20/2007 01:13:00 PM  

Blogger T-girl said...

You know what I LOVE about Simon Cowell... there seems to be no stopping point between his brain and mouth. He just blurps shit out, that we all are thinking lets face it, but even better... he has no remorse. Actually I think he is a pretty nice guy, he just has a low BS tolerance. I think what pissed people off is the fact he actually SAYS what they are thinking and people don't like having their cruel thoughts put out there like that. Let's face it we are told to "be nice" when sometimes... it is REALLY HARD! LOL

Sigh- Issiah Washington needs to "GO AWAY!" I use to love him on Grey's but lately... he is a whiny little poor me boy, who refuses to accept responibility for his own actions and I don't like that. Not only that... his off stage actions have effected my enjoyment of his character, which is sad but true. I have never had that happen before but... I ADORE Patrick Dempsey! I always have (remember Love Bites? LOL) so... just not feeling him anymore. He could go away and I would be ok, I use to think he was good for Christina now I think she is too good for him!

1/20/2007 01:58:00 PM  

Blogger Polly King said...

Would I vote for Hillary? Depends on what she stands for. But I've always liked her and most probably I will vote for her, not just because she's a woman. I like that she's determined to win. Besides, Democrats should start to win elections, instead of just issuing bold statements!

Harlot, loved your commentary!

1/20/2007 02:18:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Oh I like Simon. Always have. I agree with T-girl. He actually says what people are thinking and they resent him for that.


Polly (and other Hillary supporters :P),
Have you seen this video?

1/20/2007 02:39:00 PM  

Blogger Dakota Cassidy said...

I agree with you on the MI thing. I think putting them in jail is nuts, but making the cheater, be it man or woman, pay is definitely what should happen :)

Simon--well, I just think he has no censor. He should be commenting on their singing, not what they look like. I wasn't at all thinking the kid looked like a bush baby and my mouth dropped to the floor when he said it. I just thought the kid wasn't terribly appealing and his singing was brutal. LOLLOL

Simon may say the things we all think, but then I think it's a power trip for him. He has the power kind of thing and he digs wielding his sword. He's right most of the time, but to be so blatantly over the top shows his own insecurities.

And I also think some of these people just come in because they want 15 minutes of fame and it's a waste of everyone's time. They really need a pre-screening process.

And what about Paula? Wow--that first night of auditions--I think she was drunk.every time she sipped from that cup, I cringed.

DC :)

1/20/2007 02:40:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Dakota, i think you're right about Paula!!! LOL Also, honestly, she doesn't contribute anything to the show. That's why Simon always says, "What Paula's trying to say is..."

1/20/2007 02:52:00 PM  

Blogger Danielle De Barbarac said...

That life sentence is too much! Rapists and pedophiles get a lesser sentence when both should be burned alive.

I don't like Dr. Burke anymore, and after his comment to George... akkk!

I love Simon. American Idol wouldn't be the same without him. Besides those people who auditions know how the show is, they agreed to that so what are they complaining for? They wanted to be seen on TV, they wanted to try, they have to take the screening process. Let's all be honest and admit it's funny - though sometimes, like Harlot said, Simon's remarks are a bit uncalled for. LOL. But that's what the show is. That's AI.

1/20/2007 03:02:00 PM  

Anonymous Ollenska said...

I'm voting for Hillary. God, we need a smart president after Bush.

Simon's bush baby comment made me laugh too, lol. I shouldn't have laughed but it was really funny!

I like Dr. Burke. I think he's sexier than McDreamy (McSteamy is the sexiest and the hottest :P). I don't know what happened between him and George behind the set, I hope it's all being fixed. Grey's won't be complete without Burke.

Musical condom? What the hell?

Olly

1/20/2007 03:56:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

Harlot, packing up some musical condoms for you as we speak!

Hillary has my vote. She's smart and centered and has a THE sexiest hubby. What's not to like? LOL

1/20/2007 04:52:00 PM  

Blogger Vanessa said...

Hi Trollop! How's school? :)

Harlot, you are funny! I like Simon too. His comments are what I want to hear in that room, not those of Paula's or Randy's.

I don't even know who else is running for President. Hillary is a very smart woman. If she plays this right, I'll vote for her. Wouldn't it be cool to finally have a woman president? A woman would not go to war without thinking.

1/20/2007 05:31:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You bitches are hilarious! I love this blog :)

-Jess-

1/20/2007 05:46:00 PM  

Anonymous Mikal said...

I was super sad when I heard about Isaiah Washington; he is my favorite character (suuuper hot)..

Oh well, we'll see what happens..

1/20/2007 06:04:00 PM  

Anonymous Jen said...

The Decider? The Google? OMG. No offense to Americans but how could you vote for this guy, TWICE!

I am a big fan of American Idol, and Simon, it's either you'll like him or you'll hate him. But I think most viewers LOVE him. It's only when he "crosses the line" that viewers love to criticize him, but they were laughing too!

1/20/2007 06:12:00 PM  

Blogger Lollie Rose said...

Harlot! LOL

Speaking of American Idol, did you guys see Dreamgirls? I loved it. Jennifer Hudson is amazing in this movie. She totally outshines Beyonce in virtually every performance and scene! Wow! I hope she gets nominated for an Oscar.

I saw the Hillary video. I'm not impressed, but she has a whole year to change my mind.

1/20/2007 06:50:00 PM  

Anonymous 2ndAmdt said...

Not directed at you, Vanessa, but I hate it when people talk about voting for someone because they are a woman. I am an elected official, and I don't want someone to vote for me because I have ovaries, I want the vote because they agree with my theory of government, about my opinion on taxes, and my direction I want to take our community. Don't demean my abilities by giving me a vote because I'm a woman.

That said, it will be a cold day in he!! before I vote for a socialist like Hillary. I'll grant you, I'm not thrilled with Bush and the RINO republicans, but spending more money on national health care, social security, and other pork is not the solution. Lowering taxes, decreasing impediments to business and GETTING GOVERNMENT OUT OF PEOPLE'S LIVES is the way to improve our lot in life.

Hillary is a disaster waiting to happen if she gets elected president.

1/20/2007 08:32:00 PM  

Blogger Aggie said...

I'm picturing a condom that can sing "C'mon baby light my fire" auditioning for a part on Idol ... would Simon Cowell say that about a bush baby then? and Paula would say "I'll drink to that"
and I'd give the musical condoms out to the cheaters after their bits have been lopped off and those ones would sing "I can't get no ... satisfaction ..." LOL!

1/20/2007 10:48:00 PM  

Blogger Vanessa said...

2ndamdt, I'm not implying I'm voting for Hillary because she's a woman. I'm not eloquent like you I guess. I said I think Hillary is a very smart woman. Period. If she'll stand for something I'm for, then I'll vote for her. My vote is for someone who will stand for something I want for myself and America. Not because she's a woman. And yes I think it would be a VERY cool day to have a woman president! But I won't vote for a woman just because she has ovaries to achieve that. :)

1/21/2007 02:11:00 AM  

Blogger Jordis said...

I'm tired of the auditions. It's supposed to be about the contestant's voice, not his/her appearance. (I have to admit laughing to some of these poor creatures however.) I want to see the actual singing part where we actually get the talented ones.

Christina is waaaaay too good for Burke! But they balance and understand each other. That's a good reason to be together.

1/21/2007 03:26:00 AM  

Blogger Chantal said...

I was upset when I watched AI. Simon is way over the top this season.

1/21/2007 12:34:00 PM