Monday, September 10, 2007

Somewhere, Kevin Federline is laughing

I swear nothing would make me happy like a bearded trippy wobble than to stop mentioning Britney Spears but JFC this loopy bitch is everywhere! She’s either flashing her kitty, endangering her kids, assaulting folks with umbrellas, drinking like a fish, hopping with imaginary bunnies—hand on her wig so it doesn’t fall off—gasping for air as her lungs are full of nicotine. Now, I didn’t see the VMAs last night but gawd almighty!—I laughed my fucking head off at this article! (Yeah yeah, I’m a shallow evil Harlot.)

Somewhere, Kevin Federline is laughing. An out-of-shape, out-of-touch Britney Spears delivered what was destined to be the most talked about performance of the MTV Video Music Awards—but for all the wrong reasons.

Kicking off the show Sunday night with her new single, “Gimme More,” Spears looked bleary and unprepared, much like her recent tabloid exploits on the streets of Los Angeles. She walked through her dance moves with little enthusiasm. She appeared to have forgotten the art of lip-synching. And, perhaps most unforgivable given her once-taut frame, she looked embarrassingly out of shape.

Even the celebrity-studded audience seemed bewildered. 50 Cent looked at Spears with a confused look on his face; Diddy, her new best friend, was expressionless.

Some comeback. Breathlessly hyped by MTV as the evening’s most anticipated performance, it became the most shockingly bad of the night. (AP)

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12 comment(s):

Anonymous Gabrielle said...

I just watched the performance and I felt so sorry for her. I saw 50 cent's face and that made it seem funny but poor girl.
She has many issues.

I dont understand how they could let her out on stage like that. Where is her stylist and her choreographer and possibly even her publicist?

9/10/2007 07:45:00 AM  

Anonymous malicious strumpet said...

Wow. That's just sad. I have to admit I feel bad for her. Her life is just off the rails and she doesn't seem to have a clue about it. I'd actually really like to see her get it together and become a real person out of all this.

I want to know what it was that Criss Angel was supposed to have helped her choreograph in that mess?

I have a theory - that she backed out of whatever it was she was supposed to do. Thoughts?


9/10/2007 08:40:00 AM  

Blogger Danielle De Barbarac said...

Yeah, I was wondering the same thing about Cris Angel. Wasn't he supposed to perform something with Britney?

This is just sad but I don't feel any pity for her. She is rich (I read that she earns like $750000 each month) and therefore has access to everything including the best psychiatric help or whatever help it is she obviously needs. I guess I see it like pitying Paris for not getting any privacy.

9/10/2007 09:07:00 AM  

Anonymous Adam said...

HA HA HA. It's Tubby Britney, bitch.

9/10/2007 09:38:00 AM  

Anonymous Adam said...

The Mindfreak was grossed out and run off screaming to the hills when he saw Brit Brit on that outfit.

9/10/2007 09:41:00 AM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

Ok, color me confused. Was Britney ever better than this? Cause I see the exact same thing she always does. Stupid group dances, breathy stuff all over the song, really bad lip sinching. The only new things are her cheap hair and about 10 kilos :/

9/10/2007 03:07:00 PM  

Blogger Jolie said...

Rest in peace, Britney's career.

Now, did you hear about Tommy Lee and Kid Rock duking it out at the VMAs? I wonder if it's about Pam. hehe

9/10/2007 04:48:00 PM  

Blogger kinky courtesan said...

Yeah she really was better than this.... she had enthusiasm (is that how you spell it?) in the old days.... this was like eh... who cares.... and she almost tripped a couple times.... I've been reading stuff on this.... and he makes fun of her not even being able to hold onto her fake nails (her right hand ring finger was missing one) and she just got it on that same day.... Yeah i agree her hair looked terrible.... and the weight wasn't so bad from the front... but the side was like HOLY BEER BELLY! (not saying i'm that skinny by any means) but shes making a comeback... er trying to.... she even forgot the words to her own song! She stopped the lip synching because she didn't know the words... How do you do that? I mean this is IT!! your way to make everyone love you again! how could you just let it fuck up like that? I also read that she didn't mouth thank you after the song but i'm sorry.... I'm trying to get to the end of the video to see but its taking forever! Also, in case anyone didn't read yet.... she got caught again with no panties getting out of a car... If you didn't get enough of her kitty last time here it is again!

9/10/2007 04:54:00 PM  

Blogger Jolie said...

No panties again? God that's just disgusting. You have to wonder if she is doing this on purpose. She knows there are papz following her every move particularly because of the VMAs.

9/10/2007 05:00:00 PM  

Blogger Isabella said...

Well at least her "kitty" made a comeback.

9/10/2007 05:06:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was never really a fan of Brittney, but I miss her! This is so sad!! There was a time when she was enthusiastic and her dancing was slutty, but fun. It seems that she is just trying WAY to hard to make a comeback.

9/10/2007 07:35:00 PM  

Blogger Lily Moon said...

Everyone is talking about Britney, flashing her vagina again, how fat she is, how her abs are fake - I am sick of it! What irritates me more is that she is blaming everyone except herself!!!!!!

9/13/2007 09:47:00 PM