Thursday, November 15, 2007

Harlot: Edward Cullen's lover and Twilight casting director *wink*

I am still a wee bit mad about the Kristen-Stewart-as-Isabella-Swan thing. Apparently it’s an “accidental” fake announcement. *GRRR* This is no joke, people! It’s not like when I accidentally announced I was carrying Raoul’s lovechild. Soooo not the same, Seth Webmaster!

Just for clarification: Kristen Stewart has NOT been officially cast as Bella. Here is what Stephenie Meyer’s Vile Clown said about it—according to a member of Twilight Lexicon:

It appears that I made a mistake last night, and several people are probably very confused. Stephenie wanted me to test how quickly I could update information to get ready for the announcement. I was playing around with a few things and I accidentally posted the fake announcement (although it is true that she is one of the most popular actors that auditioned for the part). I’m very sorry for the confusion—I hope that clears it up.


Very clear, my fake fangs. :@ For the love of god, I almost had a heart attack! And what about my poor imaginary lovechild? He would have suffered, I tell ya! But noooooo... it was an “ac-ci-dent.” HA! I swear if my Raoul finds out about this... Seth, you are a DEAD clown. *hmph*

Now, seeing as I can’t stop thinking about the Twilight casting directors bungling things so badly (seriously, I’m beginning to dread this movie :/) I thought I may as well do the job. Xenu forbid they cast Zac Efron as my beloved Edward and *gasp* that Kristen news really is a joke because it’s Zac Efron’s pornstar GF who will play Bella. “Twilight High School Musical”? AAHHHH, THE HORROR!

Oh-kay, let’s start with our main characters, shall we? If you missed my screeching on the previous post, like most Twilight fans I pick—no, I NEED Emily Browning as Bella. They can’t just pick some random chick’s face and superimpose it on Emily’s whenever I think of Bella. Verra rude, ya know.

Next, Edward. Who else? *dreamy sigh* Henry Cavill... *drawing of pritti hearts here* I don’t want to hear “Henry’s not 17 anymore, yada yada yada.” If Elijah could play Frodo (which actually worked—successfully, I might add) how can Henry not play Edward when he IS Edward in everyone’s mind (well, the smart ones :P)? It’s not like Henry looks like a 30-year-old virgin or something. Let’s also remember that Edward is really a 100+ old vampire, truly truly.

No idea who this boy is but Stephenie thinks this Steven Strait dude could play Jacob. Looking at his pictures, me agrees.

I’d love to see Morena Baccarin as Esme. Carlisle... hmm, is it possible to get Eric Bana? Just think of Eric in Troy—not him as the bronzed god with the yummy body, sheesh. I mean him as the responsible father, the angsty yet gentle soul that gives you melt-in-your-mouth looks that make you long for him to take care of you. Oh my... now that’s Dr. Cullen, baby! :D

As for Alice, that’s gotta be Rachael Leigh Cook. Jasper (as Mallie pointed out to me) is Taylor Kitsch. Not only they will look good together but they can compare which one of them is prettier. Not to mention because I’m shallow and a pervert and Taylor is fucking hot and I keep imagining him nibbling on my neck, mm mmmm... *g*

I don’t give a flying fig if they cast Carrot Top as Rosalie and Carrot Top’s wig as Emmett. Just, please, Twilight casting directors, for the love of stupid shiny volvo hottie owners, listen to my genius casting skills and DO NOT FUCK IT UP. Think about it or... *whispers* you might end up like Seth. Just saying... :/

What about you, other dear members of We<3Twilight Fan Club? Who do you think should play Edward and Bella? Jacob? Alice and Jasper? Carlisle and Esme? Rosalie? Emmett? Charlie? James? Victoria?

UPDATE: Kristen Stewart IS going to play Bella. First, they “accidentally” announced it as a “fake” news, *snort* then they’re like “oh, it’s just a mistake tee hee hee” and now they say it’s truly Kristen—FOR REAL! For fuck’s sake, stop confusing me!!!!!

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52 comment(s):

Blogger Mallie said...

Un-surprisingly enough, I agree with every SINGLE one of your Harlot-y choices for my darling cast :P

I would also like to take a minute to jump up and down excitedly at getting a mention *jumps*

*drools over the Taylor pics* ahhh you found all my favourite and best pictures of him. The love of you and your blog increases exponentially!

For Rosalie...well I think you could pretty much get any drop-dead gorgeous blonde. Which is v. convenient

And how DARE Seth scare the heck out of us like that! *is still outraged*.. but wait. This means the announcement will be made soon!!!!!! YIPEE!!

11/15/2007 03:50:00 AM  

Blogger Menchie said...

They should seriously hire you as casting director Harlot.

Have no problem with your picks -- i actually don't care about who they cast in the other characters as long as the use Henry Cavill and Emily Browning.

Your Jacob looks good too! Makes me want to like him even if I hate him in the books for getting between Bella and Edward.

11/15/2007 03:55:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Mallie, heh. You're right about Rosalie. They can get any snobby looking pretty girl. If she has fangs, much better. :P

From the Isabella Swan thread, i got confused really. Has the script been written already? Or they still haven't started it yet? Everyone has different sources! LOL

Menchie, as well they should. :P True, what's important is they get Henry and Emily. *crossing fingers*

No idea who this Steven is LOL. Haven't seen any movies of him.

11/15/2007 04:12:00 AM  

Blogger Mallie said...

*laughs* its so true, pick a blonde, give her fangs and she's set to play Rose.

Umm I think we came to the conclusion that they have at least a rough script (I'm assuming they have something more just because they're supposed to start filming in January)

Emily + Henry = great Twilight movie

Other chick + someone other than Henry = v. bad film.

Steven Strait was in.. the Covenant and in.. Sky High (that silly kiddies movie about the superpowers.. he played Warren Peace :D he had fiiiiire. and he was totally yummy. I suggest watching the film and skipping to the bits he's in personally)

11/15/2007 04:39:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Emily + Henry = great Twilight movie

Other chick + someone other than Henry = v. bad film.

So true.

January? Wow, that's fast! I honestly thought the movie won't be out till 2010 or something.

Wonder if they're only doing TWILIGHT or they're planning to combine it with NEW MOON and make one movie out of it. You gotta admit, YA books turn into movies don't really come out good. Even HP movies aren't good.

Also look at what happened with ERAGON. Bad bad movie! I don't think that movie will ever have a sequel and since they only adapted the first book, the movie was sorta unfinished if you think about it. :/

11/15/2007 04:55:00 AM  

Blogger Mallie said...

yup, I heard January. But I could be wishful thinking. Though it would make sense.. I'm sure that 2010 was just a generous estimate (think - by 2010 we'll know what happens in Breaking Dawn, how exciting!)

Indeed, I am a little worried about how they'll adapt this. I don't want to lose the Meadow Scene or the little glances in Biology.. or the car rides and the walks and the... I don't want to lose any of it!

I know, as much as I love HP with all my heart, the movies suck major balls (especially Dan Radcliffes acting. i swear, that picture of him and the horse from that play will haunt me)

*nods* and Eragon.. yuck. I don't think it would be worth making a movie out of Eldest. Yick. But yeah at the same time the movie had no conclusion. Bah.

The adaptation of the Sarah Dessen books "Someone like you" and "that summer" which became "How To Deal" with Mandy Moore.. lost all the brilliance of the novels. I was so devastated.

11/15/2007 05:25:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...

You mean this Daniel pic? ;P


I don't want to loose the meadow scene too and the simple scenes in Bella's room, walking together, Bio class.. *sigh*

Have yet to read Sarah Dessen but people are recommending her to us. Not that i've seen those movies since i'm pretty sure they didn't show it here. :/

Oh! I just remember UNFORTUNATE EVENTS movie! So sorry Emily. :S Now that's a good movie based from a YA book. And if i recall it correctly they based it on the first 3 books. Dance is right, writing is verra important as well.

You know I was thinking TWILIGHT being a YA paranormal might be a bad thing for the movie. :/

11/15/2007 06:04:00 AM  

Blogger Mallie said...

*shudders* Harlot! That picture is a crime against humanity!!!

I know. Half the beauty of Twilight is the sweet, simple half-moments. I don't want to lose any of them. I love them all.

*nods* definitely read Sarah Dessen - if I could pick just one, it would be "This Lullaby". Followed closely by "Just Listen" or "The Truth About Forever". They didn't really show "How To Deal" here in Aus either but I managed to see it and uuugh. murdered.

Yes. The Unfortunate Events Movie. Another travesty. and while it introduced us to the only girl we ever want to play Bella... guh. I was disappointed and I didn't even like the books!!

Hmm.. but isn't the paranormal offset by the romance? I always saw the vampire thing as just being another impediment to their relationship, and it's always seemed less important comparative to the love story. It's more like "Edward and Bella fall in love. Oh yeah, and he's a vampire. no big deal" :P

11/15/2007 06:21:00 AM  

Anonymous Gabrielle said...

All of these choices are peeeerrrrfect!!! Henry Cavill IS Edward. He is an amazing actor and he's sexy.
Steven Strait is also a perfect pick for Jacob.
And Emily Browning is gorgeous. She is exactly how I pictured Bella.
The others are really good too.
Good choices =)

11/15/2007 06:37:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Just got your email and i loooove the pic. :D Thank you, gorgeous. Don't worry, will tell Trollop you mean every word on the subject line. ;P

Actually i liked the UE movie. I was saying sorry that i forgot the movie that introduced Emily to us, heh.

I always saw the vampire thing as just being another impediment to their relationship, and it's always seemed less important comparative to the love story. It's more like "Edward and Bella fall in love. Oh yeah, and he's a vampire. no big deal" :P

Now that you mention it, it's true. It's just i keep thinking of all the vampire (or werewolf) movies i've seen and none of them are particularly good. Especially those that actually tell the story of the vampires, their lives, not just them as the blood-sucking creatures of the night. Well, besides INTERVIEW which i liked. (QUEEN OF THE DAMNED, horrible horrible film!) (I used to love Anne Rice's books.)

Oh! Another reason why people shouldn't write off Henry just because he's a little older. Claudia, the 5-year-old vampire in AR's vampire series, was played by then 12-year-old Kirsten Dunst.

11/15/2007 06:58:00 AM  

Blogger Mallie said...

Harlot - *laughs* I didn't mind it but at the same time the UE movie missed a few of the bits I loved.

It's how I've always thought of Edward and Bella. A lot of my friends are turned off by fantasy, and I always saw it that way so I always describe it as "it's a romance, with hints of fantasy" because the romance is so much more important than the bloodsucking. (though when we read Midnight Sun we might get a different view)

*nods* I see why you're worried, and its definitely a valid fear, but so long as they focus on the romance, I think we'll be fine. I hope we'll be fine. *crosses fingers*

Exactly. We need Henry. Because Edward is supposed to look gorgeous and timeless.

11/15/2007 08:00:00 AM  

Blogger Isabella said...

I imagine Carlisle as Charlie Hunnam (QAF, Nicholas Nickelby) because Stephenie mentioned him before but now I think I prefer Eric!

Love the pictures.

Tim Riggins... sigh...

I think that redhead from The 70s Show can be Victoria. Emmett - Colossus in XMen movies.

11/15/2007 10:29:00 AM  

Blogger Midas said...

Isn't that the girl from Series of Unfortunate event?

11/15/2007 10:34:00 AM  

Blogger Midas said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

11/15/2007 10:36:00 AM  

Blogger Midas said...

If that's the dude from that school of superhero movie, then I can understand why Bella would have the hots for him.

11/15/2007 10:36:00 AM  

Blogger Isabella said...

Midas, yup thats her - Emily Browning =D

What do you mean by super hero movie?

11/15/2007 10:42:00 AM  

Blogger Mallie said...

Isabella, I think Midas meant Sky High, since thats a picture of Steven Strait from the movie. He's fair tasty.. hehe like Taylor.. yummy

11/15/2007 10:57:00 AM  

Blogger Isabella said...

Mallie: OK. I only saw him in The Covenant and he's definitely not a superhero there LOL :p

11/15/2007 11:09:00 AM  

Blogger Mallie said...

Oooh I have to see the Covenant. That and .. the Tudors.. is it, that has Henry in it? I should probably go look that up on imdb. lol

11/15/2007 11:22:00 AM  

Blogger Isabella said...

Mallie: The Covenant will not win any movie awards but the eye candy, ooh the eye candy.... Taylor is there, too, and Kyle Schmid of Blood Ties!

The Tudors is good. I like that show and you'll get to see Edward - errr, Henry naked. heheh

11/15/2007 11:30:00 AM  

Blogger Lollie Rose said...

Perfect choices! Taylor Kitsch is incredibly beautiful.

The only thing I want is they get Emily Browning and Henry Cavill. I will be very disappointed if the two of them aren't included.

11/15/2007 12:55:00 PM  

Blogger said...

It's just i keep thinking of all the vampire (or werewolf) movies i've seen and none of them are particularly good.

Van Helsing was wonderfully camp. :D

Especially those that actually tell the story of the vampires, their lives, not just them as the blood-sucking creatures of the night.

Angel, the Series, a 144 hour movie.

"How to Deal" wasn't that bad, imo, so long as I didn't think of it as an adaptation of a Dessen book; it was better than "A Walk to Remember". Plus, it has Alison Janney, which is guaranteed to make me give it the benefit of the doubt. "Someone Like You" (the book) is infinitely better, though.

I just realized the boyfriend is the same actor who was Zoe's boyfriend on The West Wing. Pretty enough to be a vampire...

Thanks for the Tim Riggins pics!

11/15/2007 04:34:00 PM  

Blogger Petra said...

Bad Seth, LOL.

I like this cast. If only they will listen to the fans.

Twilight has to have Emily Browning and Henry Cavill. I can't imagine the movie without them.

SM said she's willing to consider Henry as CARLISLE if he can't play Edward. That would be too weird I think.

11/15/2007 05:30:00 PM  

Blogger Jolie said...

Excellent choices.

I saw How To Deal. Not bad.

Van Helsing was very entertaining. Why must Kate Beckinsale keep wearing corsets?

11/16/2007 03:02:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...

VAN HELSING is fun and ANGEL is not a movie. :P Don't watch THE WEST WING but "the boyfriend" is cute.

THE TUDORS: You can see a preview here, heh. I like this show too. Don't expect it to be historically accurate, though. The actor who played Henry VIII, forgot his name, is good.

Did you guys notice that the Henry VIIIs of big and small screens lately look very far from the fat, old, ugly, FAT Henry VIII we're used to? Like, Eric Bana playing him in the upcoming OTHER BOLEYN GIRL. Not that i'm complaining. :P

11/16/2007 03:46:00 AM  

Blogger Mallie said...

I have awful news. They really did cast Kristen.
I would like to note that I am devastated, and slightly tipsy, so please excuse any spelling problems. I am .. I can't believe they didn't cast Emily. *sobs*

11/16/2007 09:38:00 AM  

Blogger Isabella said...

So it's true??

Mallie are you drinking? Pass me that bottle.

11/16/2007 10:33:00 AM  

Blogger Mallie said...

I've been drinking, and it doesnt make the announcemenet any less true. I'm absolutely heartbroken. she is not Bella.

11/16/2007 10:36:00 AM  

Blogger Mallie said...

oh and while i remember *passes bottle to Isabella, and probably to Harlot and Dance too*

Tis a sad day for all Emily fans.

11/16/2007 10:40:00 AM  

Blogger Isabella said...

Did you read what Stephenie said? "I'm very excited" ...

Did Emily even auditioned for the part? I can't believe she didn't because if you look at IMDb her name is listed under Twilight movie as the rumored Bella. But since they picked Kristen... what? What does that mean when Emily IS Bella.

This is so wrong.

11/16/2007 10:48:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...


Is this another joke from Seth, because if it is i'm gonna kill him myself. :@

First, they announced it through the rss feeds, then they said "oh it's just a mistake tee hee hee" and now it's freakin' Kristen again??? WTF!

11/16/2007 11:05:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...

A note from Stephenie about the casting of Kristen Stewart:

I'm very excited to have Kristen Stewart play Bella in the upcoming Twilight movie. She's an amazing actress with experience all across the board—action, horror, comedy, romance, and more. Since Twilight has moments that fit into every one of these genres, I'm thrilled to have a Bella who has practice with them all.

Summit's vision of the Twilight movie continues to dovetail very closely with mine, and I'm comforted to know that my "baby" is in the right hands.

For every actress that has been suggested as Bella in the past few years, there are always a slew of critics that cry, "But she doesn't look like Bella!" (Which can often be translated thusly: "She doesn't look like ME!") To this I would like to say: "Of course she doesn't!" Bella is a fictional character, and she looks different to everyone. As is the same with every actor who will be cast in the next few months, no one is going to match up with your mental picture exactly—or mine. The thing to hope for is a really great actor who can make us believe she is Bella (or Alice or so forth) for roughly two hours. I think we've got that with Kristen Stewart, and I can't wait to see her step into the role!


P.S. Thanks, dear Mallie, for the source.

11/16/2007 11:11:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...

I am so pissed. And sad! NEVER GOOD, GRRR. Did they pick Kristen because she's a better actress or whatever? Or she's what they think Bella looks like? Please tell me they didn't pick her because she's prettier than Emily! :@

Oh god, what next? Pick Hayden Darth Vader as Edward? *barf*

11/16/2007 11:17:00 AM  

Blogger Jordis Juice said...

I had a feeling this was going to happen. My guess is they didn't want to announce it yet but since Seth had 'accidentally' announced the news, they had to make it official now.

I am very disappointed.

11/16/2007 01:07:00 PM  

Blogger said...

Did they pick Kristen because she's a better actress or whatever?

Maybe they couldn't afford the other actress? or she wasn't interested or just not right for the part, no matter that she might look more like the character?

I haven't seen either of them in anything, that I can recall; for all I know, Kristen Stewart can act circles around Emily Browning.

Still say it's a moot point if the script sucks -- and most of the time, imo, they do.

11/16/2007 03:28:00 PM  

Anonymous karamia said...

None of the actors look like what I have in my head as Bella, Edward or Alice. I am not so concerned with the actors cast so much as the script and directing of the thing. As long as the cast can act and have chemistry together, all is well with me. Unfortunatly, I am doubtful that the movie will capture what I love about the book, they never do.
I try to judge a movie on it's own, not compared to the book. though I must say that I HATED Interview With a Vampire. That was the worst casting in history IMO. Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise? ugh, horrible. Thought the book was brilliant.

11/16/2007 04:10:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Kristen Stewart can act circles around Emily Browning.

Never seen Kristen's movies except PANIC ROOM. And based from that, i'm not convinced. She did nothing much there. Not to mention i honestly thought she was a boy. :/ To be fair, she's grown into a pretty girl.. so not like Bella. Not that Bella's ugly! Oh, you know what i mean!

Yep. Script has to be good. Oh well... Wonder when they'll announce who's going to be Edward.

I HATED Interview With a Vampire. That was the worst casting in history IMO.

True LOL, and it can NEVER compete with the book--which is brilliant--but i lub the movie too. This is where i first saw Brad Pitt, and then my world has never been the same...

11/16/2007 04:27:00 PM  

Blogger Lollie Rose said...

Well, it could have been worse. Like one of the Olsen twins as Bella.

11/16/2007 07:05:00 PM  

Blogger Mallie said...

I think my biggest problem with Kristen is that Bella is supposed to look average, like every girl.. pretty but not overly so. Kristen... she's pretty but she's waaaay too thin and she looks a little emaciated. Bella should at least have some curves to her, just because we know she isn't so focused on looking skinny etc. *sighs* she just doesn't look like Bella. Emily looks like Bella! Everyone knows that!

Harlot - well it'll have to be soon, won't it? I wanna know who Edward is! (please dear god don't let it be Hayden Christenson or I don't think I'll even bother going and seeing this movie)

Lollie Rose - *giggles* great way to put that into perspective!

11/16/2007 08:50:00 PM  

Blogger Jolie said...

I thought you guys hadn't heard about Kristen. I was looking for another "so it's true you faithless bastards picked her" rant post and was surprised to see Trollop doing a parody instead. *G*

I'm with Mallie. Kristen is not Bella. I can't imagine a girl this pretty would doubt why an Edward Cullen would ever like her. "So he's a vampire - who cares? I'm pretty. (And not awkward and clumsy looking. Not at all.)" I guess we just have to depend on her acting skills.

11/17/2007 04:23:00 AM  

Blogger Petra said...

First it's just a rumor. But even now that it's official, for the life of me I still see her as the mute rape victim instead of Bella.

11/17/2007 09:28:00 AM  

Anonymous Ollenska said...

Am I the only one irritated with Stephenie's insinuation that fans who don't like the casting of Bella disagree because they picture themselves as Bella?

I don't picture myself as Bella. I'm disappointed because I want Emily to have the part.

Ms. Meyer, let's not forget that even you have pictured Emily as Bella.


11/17/2007 09:39:00 AM  

Blogger said...

Am I the only one irritated with Stephenie's insinuation that fans who don't like the casting of Bella disagree because they picture themselves as Bella?

No, you are not. It rather smacks of condescension, doesn't it?

11/17/2007 01:08:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Oh yes, it does. Wonder what she'd tell us when they pick some random dude to play Edward.

Mute rape victim? Petra, what the hell?

11/17/2007 01:17:00 PM  

Blogger said...

Mute rape victim?

I believe Kristen Stewart was the actress who played the main character's role in the movie adaptation of Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson.

She - the character - was a victim of rape/sexual assault, but not mute, exactly, though part of her way of dealing - or, rather not dealing - with what happened to her was to become more and more silent.

The book was good, haven't seen the movie.

Although, I prefer Sarah Dessen's Just Listen, which is about a similar subject.

I also like the way the titles complement each other, though I don't think they were written together or anything like that.

11/17/2007 01:54:00 PM  

Anonymous karamia said...

Ugh, smacks of condescention? It practically knocks your head off your shoulders.
Personally, I feel it was naive of Meyer to even suggest cast for the movie so publicly.
That said, Emily is much closer to what I would have guessed Bella is that what's her name with all the makeup. But who knows what she'll look like in the movie.

11/17/2007 02:10:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Heh. Well, the only movie of Kristen's i saw was PANIC ROOM. To be fair, apparently she has grown into a pretty girl. Here's a recent pic. Still, not Bella.

Oh there's a SPEAK movie! LOL

They didn't show it here.** I know the YA book though... And here i was feeling a little guilty of making fun of a mute rape victim. :S

**I go to movies every week. So i'm sorta updated to what they show here, heh. Last movie i saw (Wed), Beowulf. Meh. I should post about that..

11/17/2007 02:26:00 PM  

Anonymous karamia said...

I think Kristen lacks a wide eyed innocence that I always pictured with Bella. And Emily has that look perfectly. But I haven't seen any of Kristen's films, though she seems to have quite a resume.

Harlot, you should definetly do a post on Beowulf, How bad could a movie be with naked Angelina?

11/17/2007 06:01:00 PM  

Blogger Jolie said...

Imagine when they finally announce who Edward's going to be. The world will probably explode. LOL

I'm getting used to this Kristen as Bella thing. As long as they don't go all apeshit on Edward and cast some fug in the role.

11/18/2007 03:49:00 AM  

Anonymous Kiki said...

i don't really care who they pick as bella but...

11/18/2007 01:40:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rachel for Alice but no to Gaspard. Thats as bad as choosing Hayden.

11/18/2007 05:04:00 PM  

Blogger Jolie said...

Who in hell is Gaspard? Sounds like a villain's name.

11/19/2007 05:48:00 AM