NOTE: Still haven’t finished Eclipse? STOP. READING. NOW.
Now, as I’ve mentioned, I finished the book Monday and the only one I could talk to was our Dean Winchester-obsessed friend, Dance (she cheated too, ha!—she got the ebook early :P). Basically, here’s what I ranted to her about: I didn’t like Edward, HATED Bella, and Jacob was as obnoxious as ever! Gah.
Too stupid to live? There has never been a day in my life where I ask myself, “What would Bella Swan do?” God-forbid that day comes because I’ll have to disembowel myself samurai-style for the shame I have brought upon my family.
I’m actually willing to take Bella’s selfishness and recklessness (as those mirror my own :/) but her stupidity and immatureness in this book are overwhelming. She keeps placing herself in danger, INSISTING on it, when she knows full well Edward would do ANYTHING to make sure she’s safe—even breaking the pact to cross La Push, starting a war between vampires and werewolves.
Marry me. Trust me when I say I know how extremely painful it is when someone you love asks you to marry him yet for some wretched reason you have to say no. But for the life of me, I don’t understand WHY WHY WHY Bella is so averse to marry Edward.
What’s that? Oh, yeah. Bella is “uncomfortable” with what the town will say about her marrying Edward at 18. Yep. *snort* The same Edward whom she CANNOT live without, the luuuuve of her fucking life, the one who loves her to death and worships the ground she walks on and is marrying her for ALL THE FUCKING RIGHT REASONS—THAT EDWARD!!! Oh, for fuck’s sake, woman! Who the fuck cares what the whole town will say?! You don’t even like most of those people! You’re not even staying in Forks after the wedding! And your reaction to the ring, mygod... I wish Edward had shoved it down your unworthy throat! *grrr*
I *heart* Jacob. Perhaps it’s possible to be in love with two people at the same time, but I’m pretty sure we’ve been told since Twilight—time and time and tiiiiime again—that Bella is irrevocably, crazily, OBSESSIVELY in love with Edward, and Jacob is... well, “just family.” So how come, ALL OF A SUDDEN, she’s in love with Jacob???
Edward is the drug; Jacob is the, what, rehab? *confused* I told Dance this really bothered me, more so than Bella’s stupidity. What’s worse, when she tells Jacob:
“The worst part is that I saw the whole thing—our whole life. And I want it bad, Jake, I want it all. I want to stay right here and never move. I want to love you and make you happy. And I can’t, and it’s killing me. It’s like Sam and Emily, Jake—I never had a choice...”
Sorry? You’re telling me Bella is REALLY in love with Jacob but since she’s a freaking junkie, she can’t live without her drug (Edward), and therefore has “no choice” but to be with Edward... Seriously? SERIOUSLY?!? (JFC, let me breeeeathe!) Un-freakin-believable! :@
Wolfboy. I’m all for “all’s fair in love and war” and all that crap but Jacob is first and foremost, supposed to be, Bella’s best friend. There are times he is so pushy and down-right disrespectful and won’t stop acting like a total jackass even when he knows he’s hurting Bella’s feelings. What kind of a friend is that? And yet Bella ALWAYS stands up for him to Edward! Ugh! If only Edward had punched his smug face. Or ripped out his throat. Yeah, *glassy eyes* that will do...
Tie me up, tie me down. Edward totally lost it I won’t be surprised if SM tells us, “Surpriiiise! Edward’s been Confunded by the Confundus Chaaaarm!” He’s over-protective and under-handed one minute then complacent and so hands-off the next. He says he’d “play dirty” for Bella and I thought goody good good—as Edward needs some dirtiness in his body—but then he proceeds by tolerating Bella’s stupidity and unfairness in their relationship. Fine. FINE. I get it. He’s super patient with supervampire self-control that will shame supermonks. Hmph! But I honestly doubt even a freaking superSAINT will put up with such crap Bella has given him!
Back stories and poor conflicts. Eclipse is too much and yet not enough at the same time. Apparently, Edward is over with his thirst for Bella’s blood. Hmmm... Since that is out, SM had to create stupid conflicts: like Bella in love with Jacob when she CLEARLY loves Edward, Bella not wanting to get married, Bella offered to be a vampire (what she’s wanted ever since) and then changes her mind, and then changes it again—and then again—and again! OH, FOR THE LOVE OF YUMMY VAMPIRES! And don’t let me start with Wuthering Heights!!!
Er, *ahem* so what say you?