Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Streets of fire?

All my life I’ve heard about how “good” this movie is. I love the soundtrack and, for some reason, I thought I’d seen the movie but ohhhhhhhhhhh no, I hadn’t because a movie this bad is worth remembering LOL.

I’ve seen many a bad movie in my years but this one takes the cake. From the awful awful outfits (JFC, who the hell wears plastic overalls? And what’s up with everyone wearing dirty clothes?!? And that Cody guy with his “cool” farmers outfit?), to the “fan” that joins the group for ten minutes, becomes Ellen’s best friend for all of two scenes and is never seen again? And don’t even get me started on when Cody punches Ellen across the face to knock her out, again, for reasons unknown. This film should come with a manual—it’s so freaking confusing.

This Amazonian said it best so I’ll leave you with his review and the trailer for the movie but before I go, permit me to give you some wise words: RUN, RUN AND HIDE FROM THIS CRAP!

How is this a 5 star movie?, August 8, 2006
By Digibong! “The Good die young, but pricks live forever!”

First of all thank god I didn’t buy this, I saw it on cable the other night. This is a STUPID movie! Absolutely EVERYONE in it was overacting, especially Rick Moranis. Michael Pare was trying to sound too much like John Wayne meets Wiseguy. Willem Defoe looks creepier then than he does now.

The story is very silly, some bikers (for no reason in the world) led by Willem Dafoe’s character take this female rockstar singer (played by Diane Lane) that happens to be a former flame of Michael Pare’s character named Cody. They concoct a weak plot to get her back. Along the way they pick up some tough chick who was totally overacting and unconvincing to help them out (in the meantime she makes some much needed money, as she is down on her luck). They also accidently pick up some male singers in a a small mini bus.... the reason is beyond me. I guess the more help the better. They didn’t help much.

It was so easy to get the girl back it made me wonder what is the purpose of this movie. I mean he gets her, brings her back home, then goes back to get Willem Dafoe’s character in a cheesy brawl in front of all his motorcyle mates. This movie reminds me of a videogame by CAPCOM or something.

And what was with the time period they were trying to portray? The cars looked like they were from the 50’s, but yet everyone’s clothes looked like 1984? Then we have some inaccuracies in dance moves. At the end, one of those blues singers they picked up before starts moonwalking like Michael Jackson?!? COME ON!!

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9 comment(s):

Blogger Harlot said...

Never even heard of this movie. :/ I didn't even recognise Diane Lane. What the hell is she wearing??

Love the songs Trollop sent me though. Here:

"Tonight is What it Means to Be Young"
"I Can Dream About You"

8/08/2007 07:28:00 AM  

Anonymous Ollenska said...

My goodness I have totally forgotten this classic. Lol about your assessment Trollop. It's true, but the songs, ah the songs are great.

I used to have a crush on Michael Pare, you know ;-)


8/08/2007 02:28:00 PM  

Anonymous Ollenska said...

"I Can Dream About You". Oh I luuuuuv this song!


8/08/2007 02:29:00 PM  

Blogger Vanessa said...

I saw this on cable too. The first thing I thought, Diane Lane is a lucky bitch. Look at her now and look at her 20 years ago - she still looks the same (ok almost) as she did then...even better!

8/08/2007 05:17:00 PM  

Blogger Petra said...

I agree with Trollop - run away from this movie! It totally sucks!

Vanessa, you are right about Diane Lane. Lucky bitch. I wonder what's her secret, LOL. She and Michelle Pfeiffer. Ugh.

8/08/2007 06:19:00 PM  

Blogger Tara Champagne Dean said...

Okay, the fact that you have no idea what the movie is about from the trailer is not a good sign. sometimes that works, for example in 'teaser' trailers.

Is it a musical? Could be with all that singing.

Is it a drama? Could be with all the dramatic looks between people; avenging stuff, and don't hurt me crap.

Is it some sort of comedy that could turn into a horror flick like the Lost Boys (AWESOME MOVIE BTW).

The trailer left me confused but the review confermed everything: NEVER RENT THIS MOIVE AND CHANGE THE CHANNEL IF IT COMES ON TV :p

8/08/2007 09:33:00 PM  

Blogger December/Stacia said...

Lol my older brother and I LOVE this movie, because it's so terrible. We used to watch it all the time and make fun of it.

And now I'll have "Tonight is what it means to be young" on my mind all day. I know all the words by heart.

8/09/2007 04:54:00 AM  

Blogger December/Stacia said...

And I forgot to say, this movie uses one of my favorite Bad Movie tropes, "Local law enforcement can't do anything about it". Which, in the bizarro 80s/50s/post-apocalpyse-or-maybe-not world of this film, might make sense, but I never stop laughing when watching Road House and see the despair of the characters because the town police are under the bad guys' thumb. Like no government exists on a county, state, or federal level. It's just Sherriff Doug and his tiny band of crooked cops, and that's where it all ends.

8/09/2007 04:58:00 AM  

Blogger Jordis Juice said...

Oh my god. I love this movie. I wanted to be Ellen and wear that ugly red dress and dance and sing "Tonight Is What It Means To Be Young" on that stage!!!

8/09/2007 08:13:00 AM