Tuesday, May 9, 2006

Daft inventions

Why is it that everyone and their grandmother think they can invent something, find an imbecile to market it for them, a washed-out celebrity to endorse it, and then foister it upon unsuspecting strangers that have way too much time, and it seems way too much money on their hands? Probably because it always works.

I’ve seen just about everything on infomercials; from TopsyTails and ThighMasters (I can imagine many of you cringing in embarrassment because you still have them stashed somewhere in the basement LOL), to the really weird, and who-the-hell-would-actually-use-that Centerpiece Gourmet. I always groan and wonder: “What else will they come up with? Surely there can’t be any more crap left to invent!” Well, I am always wrong. Apparently, we were all waiting for the next big thing, the revolutionary new way to read: Bed Books.

The patent pending sideways text layout of Bed Books affords total comfort and eliminates the back and neck strain associated with the contorted body positions normally required for reading conventional books while lying down, and usually propped up, in bed.

Not only is this a stupid idea to begin with, but it appears that the people buying it are going to be daft ding-dongs. Get this: the books actually come with instructions on how to read them!!! *LOL*

It is not required that you lie in a stationary position on your side when you read your Bed Book. Just lie in any position which is comfortable for you, and take your Bed Book with you. Most important, you will not be obligated to sit up in order to read!

Oh, wow, thanks for clarifying that, as with regular books, the instructions plainly state that I have to read them on my head while moving my legs in a scissors like way. Lying down, who ever thought we’d see the day when this would finally come? *sniff* Reading will be so much better now!

Yes, I can see how this scientific advance will change the world. Perhaps they can get Tom Cruise to sponsor it? That would be the most to say the least!

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12 comment(s):

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

That woman in the pic has a freakishly big head lol especially compared to the tiny little hands! Giant freak head.

5/09/2006 12:11:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Babe, that woman is funny! Oh LOL

That's probably one of the side-effects of using Bed Books, all that lying down makes your head freakishly bigger? Hmm..

5/09/2006 12:32:00 AM  

Blogger kinky courtesan said...

the way that the head size increases while reading the bed book is your head is lower than normaly when reading and because you are thinking more the blood that normal goes to your other body parts... (like the ones used in bed a lot... plus other places :-P)ummm yeah so your body parts don't need the blood as much as your brain... this causes elephantitis of the head while all those other body parts get all itty bitty.... thats my nerdy attempt to sound all brainy... haha

5/09/2006 01:08:00 AM  

Anonymous Vixen said...

That woman's hands are creaping me out. You guys are good at photo shop stuff. couldn't you put a hot naked guy reading a book in bed, in place of big head? Just a thought :)

5/09/2006 09:07:00 AM  

Blogger HOTMAMA said...

Now they need to invent reading glasses to wear while laying on your side too. That's more of a problem than the book!

I like Vixen's idea, hot, naked guy reading a sexy Shannon McKenna book, cuz I'd know EXACTLY what would be going thru HIS mind :P

5/09/2006 12:07:00 PM  

Blogger Bawdy Babe said...

best invention since the BOB. Would buy this in New York minute. laying down is my fave position.

5/09/2006 01:19:00 PM  

Anonymous Die Hure said...

The head of the woman it is very big. Why does it have the directions? it is not making the any sense to me. Very funny indeed.

Never heard of any of these inventions. Centerpiece you can eat?

5/09/2006 04:57:00 PM  

Anonymous horny old goat said...

Ah, waste of time indeed. Invent women robots instead who would give you head whenever you drop your pants.

You're very pretty Trollop.

5/09/2006 05:16:00 PM  

Blogger Mia Romano said...

Love your post! Bed book?? LOL

5/09/2006 07:59:00 PM  

Blogger Helena said...

'Tis my B/Day today - I would have loved a hot naked guy lying down with a Bed Book for my special day!
There's still time if you HURRY!

5/09/2006 11:38:00 PM  

Blogger T-girl said...

ROTFLAMO! Unless it was my grandma, who sadly I could see using this contraption, or anyother person over the age of say... EIGHTY, I would IMMIDIATLY turn around and LEAVE, taking my classy and tasteful hostess gift WITH me, upon setting eyes on the interesting contraptions made by the "Centerpiece Gourmet!" Lord knows what they are going to be serving for dinner itself, maybe ediable furniture or clothes? Well on second thought, I may stay if it is clothes... and they are not 80+!

5/10/2006 09:48:00 PM  

Anonymous marge said...

Bed books? LMBO!!

I love this blog! :)

5/11/2006 03:13:00 PM